this is based in my AU, but Psychocop and a group of his friends tried to do something similar to what the group is now back in the 90s, he’s the only one who’s still alive and sometimes the others will do something that reminds him of his old friends and he gets a dull pain in his chest knowing it will end the same way
His backstory will be posted tomorrow or later tonight depending how tired I am
You hate how he acts, how he talks, how he treats you- like some dumb girl that's stupid enough to fall into his claws. But you're not that stupid. Or are you?
Tags/Warnings: mc hates kook, Angst, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, sexual thoughts, there's tension baby
Length: ~2k.
-> Masterlist
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If Jungkook wasn't 5'10" and basically spending half his time awake at the gym, you'd definitely fight him. Slap him at least- but again, only if he wasn't tall enough for you to need a chair to reach him.
He just gets onto your nerves.
His attitude, the way he carries himself, the way he acts as if he's in control of the entire room, even if there's people in it that are twice his age. Nothing seems to ever bother him, nothing makes him angry, or upset, or anything- he always has that shit-eating smirk on his face, making him oh-so punchable in your opinion. He's so aware of his own charming nature and ability to sweet-talk anyone into doing what he wants them to, that it just feels utterly unfair to you. Sure, he's attractive- but only visually so, on the surface level. As soon as he opens his filthy mouth to talk and brag about all the different adventures he's already been on (inside the bedroom and in general), you just want to vomit.
He's a fuckboy, deserving to get his penis bitten off.
Okay, maybe that's a bit drastic- but he's just incredibly irritating to you. Mostly because you just don't know where you both stand; He tends to belittle you in an odd manner that makes you confused if he's being nice or teasing you, whether he's offering an insult or a compliment. And the worst of all is that whenever he does outright give you praise of any kind, which mostly happens very fleetingly so you almost don't notice it, you can't get it out of your head for days.
It sticks to you like gum.
You remember, for example, when he had simply called you a 'good girl' after you had caught his credit card as it had slipped out of his hands and tumbled underneath his car- a place he would've had a lot more trouble with reaching than you, considering the height difference between the two of you. This moment, the tone of his voice, the slight chuckle he'd given you, the brush of his fingers against yours - it had stayed with you for almost an entire week after it had happened.
You hate this. It's ridiculous.
Jungkook is the brother of your former best friend - the two of you back in school - inseparable, but with her moving out of the country to pursue her studies, you simply lost touch. Jungkook, however, stayed behind, obtaining a large share in a pretty successful company, smart decisions, and hard work having brought him into the position he is in today. He doesn't need to worry about money any longer, and he won't ever have to again if he plays things smart, It led to him deciding to invest into things he knows will retain value overtime, making him buy a high-end apartment in Seoul's prettiest neighborhood- which is why when a waterpipe had broken in your old apartment, he'd been your last hope of finding somewhere to stay for the time it would take to fix and renovate the damage, your own flimsy savings not enough to cover weeks of hotel costs. It had surprised him, you know that - but you also remember how surprisingly kind he'd been, always making sure that you were comfortable. But with that also came frustration - because sometimes he acts as if he's older by a lot more than is actually the case between you both. Sure, he's already almost thirty, putting almost six years between you both, but still. You're not a stupid girl, and he should stop treating you like one.
For some reason, that's why your hatred really keeps burning.
Maybe because he just belittles you at any chance he gets. He seemingly refuses to see you as a woman, always describes you as a little girl, never takes you seriously. That, combined with your not so small crush you've had on him ever since your school days, just simply doesn't mix well. You hate this.
You hate him.
And unbeknownst to you, it's mutual.
Jungkook fucking hates you too.
He hates how you flaunt your figure any chance you get, just like now, as you're sitting on his friend's couch next to himself, naked thighs on full display for everyone in the room to see, black shorts living up to their name by being disgustingly short in his opinion. He's also sure you've skipped a bra for the movie night this time- your slightly perked nipples pushing against the fabric of your baggy shirt, freely moving tits underneath the black item of clothing just begging for his touch it seems. You're always like this, as if to mock him with what he can never have for himself, completely immune to any of his advances that it just made him stop trying at this point. What's the use for his charms if they just make you laugh at him at the end of the day?
He hates you so fucking much.
Especially now, with you so comfortable next to him. It's like your dynamic has shifted over the past six months- mutual friends making you hang out more often than not, and while you'd been so deliciously shy and easily flustered around him before, nowadays, it feels like you've kicked him right into the friendzone, no joke of his getting under your skin any longer. He knows you think Jimin is kind of cute- but he didn't think that it was enough to make you move on from him this fast. Or maybe he had hoped it wouldn't.
He's aware of your crush on himself after all. He's been relishing in it for a long time, his career and the falling out of touch with his sister and you after she'd started her studies abroad the main cause of him never making his move. He'd been waiting, pushing it further and further and further in front of him instead of doing something.
And now? It feels like he's lost his chance.
"Gimme that-" You whine so cutely, leaning over his lap to grab the bag of peach snacks from Taehyung sitting on the floor, and yes, now Jungkook can be one hundred percent sure- you're definitely braless, softness of your chest flush against his thigh for a moment, warmth seeping through the fabric of his sweatpants and making him internally rip his hair out. He's glad he's got some good self-control under his belt, otherwise he'd surely pop a boner right here and now, embarrassing himself in front of his best friends and you as well. Or maybe you'd be impressed. Who knows. How much could you even take in terms of.. size?
But oh, it gets so much worse, because it has become your life's mission to just make him suffer it seems.
You now decide to simply lay over his lap now- body warm over his thighs while you swing your legs back and forth behind you, fluffy socks on your feet hitting your butt every now and then while you're talking to Taehyung about some mistakes in the movie's plot- though Jungkook himself is not listening, the rhythmic rocking of your body over his legs from your own movements too much to handle for a simple mortal like himself. All he can think about is how much he just wants to spank the living hell out of you right in this position- hand itching to just place itself palm flat over one cheek and just, squeeze until you yelp.
You'd make such cute noises, he just knows. He'd been getting those little teasers of them all the time, after all. How much would it take for him to make you scream? And how much further could he push you until you're just fucked too stupid to form any sounds at all?
That thought alone spirals out of control in his head as he's suddenly getting visions of you underneath him, hands bound to the bedpost and body flushed and wet with sweat while he pounds into you until you're bruised. He hopes you like it rough- because he's sure if he ever got his hands on you, he'd push you to your limits and maybe even beyond, his hand grabbing your hair while he'd make you gag on his cock until you cry.
"Move a little, I gotta use the bathroom." Jungkook grunts, careful but strong in his actions as he maneuvers you off his lap so he can escape for a second, or two, or maybe he just needs to leave entirely because fuck.
He hates this.
Every time he's got someone over to try and somehow fuck it out of his system, all he can see is you, and it's becoming a problem. It makes him suffer continuously, unable to cum if he doesn't think of you in any way- and it's embarrassing to admit to himself, no pleasure enough for him if his brain isn't allowed to connect you to it.
He doesn't know how long he can take this. He has to get out of here right fucking now- he can't just jerk off now because he knows how flushed he gets afterwards, there's simply no way he could ever hide that from anybody. Why do you have to even look like that tonight? Why can't you just leave him alone?
Well, that one's easy.
He wont let you.
It's like he's turning from the sadist into the masochist every time you're with him like this, the pain and torture he has to endure completely his own choice at the end of the day. He knows you're like this, it's nothing new to him- you feel comfortable and relaxed around him, and he likes that, he feels honored by it in a way, really. But it's also a terrible curse, when in times like these, he can't even slightly hope for some divine intervention to give him that k-drama worthy experience of mind-blowing emotional sex after a heartfelt confession of love. He won't get that, because those fucking idiots always seem to be there to ruin it for him.
And whenever he's alone with you, he pretty much forgets about it, as stupid as it sounds.
He likes taking you along to trips and travels he's got to go on; not only for the sake of company, but also because you deserve to see the world and experience those luxuries as well. He likes spoiling you, he enjoys taking care of you in any way you allow him to- and yet, it again bites his ass like an untrained dog because it makes him loose his initial goal completely. It falls out of sight every time, and looking back at it, maybe it's just karma. It's a higher power punishing him for being so goddamn stupid every time.
He slept in the same hotel room with you for fuck's sake. He helped you tie your hair one time, routinely takes off your jewelry whenever he takes you along to expensive dinners. All of those perfect moments to make a move- and yet he never does.
Probably never will.
"You heading out already?" Jimin asks as everyone now turns to look at him as he grabs his jacket and car keys, walking over to where you're stills prawled out on the couch before he grabs his phone.
"Yeah, forgot I have a meeting tomorrow early, sorry." He simply apologizes, before he makes a goodbye gesture and heads out, door closing behind him.
"Bullshit." You mumble more or less to yourself. "Fucking liar. He's got the day off." You complain, and Taehyung laughs.
"Why so mad about it?" He wonders, poking at your stomach. "Little baby already miss her dad-"
"Don't you fucking finish that sentence kim taehyung!" You instantly argue, tackling him on the floor to playfight him-
all while Jungkook questions his life choices s he reaches home himself. There's no way his fucking boner is still present even after the entire drive home- and it makes him have to come up with a plan. Maybe this really is just simply sexual frustration and nothing else. Maybe just screwing you will help him become able to move on with his life.
The only question now is; how does he get you under his spell?
So all I could find on Widowmaker was that she was always seen as wrong by people, which is right, people saw as wrong, everything about Katherine was wrong, especially when you live in a religious small town where homosexuality is seen as a crime (that’s right, Wuh Luh Wuh) so by middle school she was used to the idea of being alone, so when someone sat next to her during art class it kinda confused her, but when two people are treated less than human they find comfort in the fact they aren’t alone, and that’s what her and Desmond did, they became friends. They both knew where they were isn’t where they wanted be, so they planned to leave the moment they graduated, Katherine or “Kath”, planned to be a fashion designer, inspired by the Riot Grrrl fashion and music she spent years listening to. When they did graduate, her and Desmond packed up and drove, it was easy for her to leave it all behind, she says she was the one that threw her things into trash bags, that she’s the one who decided to stop talking to her parents, that she didn’t spend the first week on the road crying her eyes out in the back seat. After they finally did find a place in the city, Kath started looking for jobs, eventually finding one in a fashion house.
One of the reasons Kath leaned into riot grrrl was the lack of judgment regarding appearance, especially when it comes to tattoos, which she has many of. One tattoo that is most prominent is the one on the side of her face. Which is what caused shit to hit the fan.
Because of her appearance most if not all of her designs were rejected, she was made to wear a face mask to cover her tattoo, and her coworkers distanced themselves from her. These things on their own would be okay, she wouldn’t care, but the thing that really bothers her is her name tag. During her interview, her employer to call her Kathy, which she said no to since she preferred Katherine and the only person who gave her a nickname was Recidivist and he was currently in a correctional facility. When she went in the first day her name tag said Kathy. Every day after work she’d call Desmond and tell him how her day went, how her coworkers keep taking lunch early so they don’t run the risk of having to talk to her, how she saw a really cute girl on the way home, a new design she came up with, anything new in her life so he’d be caught up for when he was released, they even came up for the name of her brand, Widowmaker.
By fall, Desmond was back, and that was quite possibly the best thing she could’ve seen walking into their apartment. Paying the rent took almost half her paycheck without them both paying for it, her boss was scheduling her shifts less, she was struggling to keep up on her college classes, and her sketchbook went missing out of her desk, after a while she stopped caring about it and would just walking through the door to the living room, lay on the ground and smoke while staring at the ceiling like it would fix anything.
But what tipped her over the edge was seeing her design in the window, credited to her coworker, the one design that she put everything into, every tear, all of her stress, all of it, to the bitch who stole her sketchbook. Kath saw her during her smoke break and burned the cigarette into her face. Immediately, she told Desmond who insisted they need to skip town. While deciding on where to go, Kath remembered something she saw on TV last night.
“You know, there’s some asshole in a town a few states over killing people, maybe that’s a good spot?”
When she said that Desmond thought she was joking, until he realized she wasn’t laughing and rightfully asked why on earth she thought that would be a good idea, and she said that neither of them have anything ahead of them, so it wouldn’t hurt to go out with a bang.
In which communication isn't always the easiest thing- especially when you're talking past each other, never to each other.
Tags/Warnings: mc hates kook?, kook hates her too Angst?, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication bro its so bad in this, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, sexual thoughts, the tension is snapping oops
Length: ~2.3k.
-> Masterlist
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Over the past few days, Jungkook seems.. awfully clingy.
He's texting more, keeps inviting you over, seemingly very interested in spending more and more time with you. And while yeah, it would make sense if it was to please the public eye- they don't even get to see it. At all.
He's been asked for comment left and right at this point ever since he really did drop the news of being in a relationship. However, it did have the desired effect of the media attention slowly dying down, other investors especially seeming to value him more now that he's 'settled down' which is just incredibly weird to you. Why does him getting his dick wet have anything to do with his decision-making? It's not like post-nut-clarity is going to give him the perfect stock advice or anything. Or maybe it does. Who knows.
He certainly doesn't- at least not with you.
It still confuses you however how well he seemingly plays the boyfriend-role; going all out, even taking you to a dinner yesterday, even if it was interrupted twice by a phone call he didn't even take in the end. It was nice to be taken out like that though- you've never really been out like that, all dressed up and fancy. But it's sadly also making you more than angry.
It's infuriating how he seems to be aware of what exactly it is you crave from a guy, and in this moment, you hate that it's him providing it. To him, it's a game. To you, it's just cruel. It hurts. "Now come on, don't be a brat for once." He teases. "You're my girl now after all, aren't you?" He teases almost, holding the spoon with the dark brown liquid close to your lips.
As if.
You're staring him down like you're ready to commit murder right on the spot, no felony too cruel in your brain as you try and come up with ways to escape the situation. You're stronger than this. He can't make you do anything. "Come on now, stop being such a baby and open up." He tries again, but you refuse, lips not opening at all- truly not bending to his words at all. He's running out of options really. "I'll drive you to hospital in the next fucking minute if you don't fucking lick that spoon clean in the next three seconds." He threatens now, his last effort at trying to get through your thick skull.
He's trying everything he can here, really. From the strong look he sends your way, to the authority in his voice he's using to try and sway your mind. He knows you're stubborn. You've always been- and the challenge you give him has always been more than exciting.
But right now, it's not just a challenge. It's actually serious.
Much to his surprise (and noted for.. future endeavors that don't involve trying to medicate you), you visibly loose all that confidence in going against what he's telling you to do- now staring at the spoon more or less as if you're battling yourself internally, entire posture changing from confidence to something akin to a wounded animal.
"One." He starts, well aware of his chance to strike now, and you whine openly, face morphing into one of terror as you lean back away from both the spoon and him, though you don't leave the couch at all. In a way, usually, he'd instantly use this opportunity to tease the living shit out of you- but he can't. Not when he's actually trying to actively convince you to do something important for him- and yourself. "Two.." He continues to count, voice a bit lower now to appear less threatening. "Come on, I promise I'll leave you alone after this." He tells you more softly now, and you close your eyes for a second- before you reach to hold his wrist, bitter medicine finally being swallowed as you curl in on yourself on the other end of the sofa, unable to see Jungkook finally relax.
He knows you hate hospitals. But you're sick- not infectious, according to the doctor you went to yesterday, but still sick nonetheless. You just can't keep any food down, so he had to do something about it- unable to watch you suffer any longer than you already have been. And while, yeah, he does admit that the medicine tastes absolutely horrible- it works perfect for him, so he's hoping that you'll be able to at least get some soup down in the next few hours or so.
He's trying to take care of you.
"There we go, thank you." He offers after putting the spoon onto his coffee table, before reaching out to run his hand over your back. "You wanna sleep now?" He asks, and you just shrug, something he takes as a somewhat-yes, so he stands up to get you a blanket from his bedroom, searching for one that's a little heavier so you'll maybe feel a bit better while he cooks and leaves you be. When he returns, you're still the exact same he's left you- and he sighs, dimming the light of his apartment before he walks closer to you, tucking the blanket around you.
"Jungkook.." You ask quietly, unsure, because you don't really know what you want to ask him in the first place. Why are you doing this? Why are you suddenly being so nice? Why do you treat me like I'm actually someone you care about?
"Hm?" He wonders, a gentle urge to hear your question, even leaning in to hear you better.
"Nothing." You say instead, simply turning around to face the backrest of the couch, successfully hiding from him in his own apartment. You've always been good at hiding, after all. From your family, from your problems- and now, from him.
Though you're not sure who he is to you, especially right now.
And you don't know if the fact that he doesn't press for an answer should make you feel glad- or disappointed.
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Jungkook used to really fucking hate everything about you.
That changed, as soon as he got into a relationship with you. Because now, he only fucking hates that you don't ever take him seriously- so, progress. Somewhat.
He doesn't want to push for intimacy- hell, he would even say he doesn't need it if he knew you weren't comfortable with those things. But he knows you're more than okay with it, you're actively flirting with everyone around you constantly, especially Jimin of all fucking people. And it pisses him off to no ends, considering you should have eyes for him, and not his best friend who's been fucking around for years at this point. That dick can't satisfy you the way he could.
It's insulting to think of you in any sexual context with Jimin, or anyone else for that matter.
And right now, especially right now, you're truly testing his patience by actively ranting about your 'lack' of intimacy in the present times to him, in his own fucking apartment of all things. As if he's not even in the room. And granted, he's had enough.
"Why do you continue to ignore me sitting right in front of you?" He asks, eyes focused on you as he tilts his head, almost challenging. "You want me, I want you, facts." He shrugs, relaxing into his seat again. "I'm right here." He gestures to himself. "So what's the issue?"
"The issue, Jungkook-" You start, rolling your eyes at him as you make sure to focus on his name in that sentence, "-is that, you know..!" you say, struggling to find words. You actually don't know what the issue is. What is the issue?
"No, I don't know. And that's the fucking problem here." He says back, not as loud as you're talking, but with equally as much bite to his tone. "Am I not attractive to you?" He asks, leaning towards you a little.
Of course he's attractive to you. Why wouldn't he be? Anyone would be stupid not to look at him and realize that he's a pretty handsome guy. "No, that's-" You start, but he won't let you continue.
"Do you think I don't find you attractive?" He asks instead now, and you stammer, unsure of your reply. You don't know if he actually finds you attractive. If he asks that question, does that mean he actually thinks you're pretty? Or are you reading too much into things right now-
"I mean, maybe? What-" You try again, but he cuts you off once more.
"Then what's the problem?" He asks, and that's where you start to yell to get him to listen, in a way. You've always been like that- though it's the first time you're exploding into his face like this.
"You!" You bark out, sighing as you run a hand through your hair. "We're- You know I can't have sex with someone I'm not.. you know, in a relationship with, because I want to have this whole stupid love-thing instead of just screwing someone for the pleasure. I'm not like you Jungkook, I want, you know-" You start pacing now, "-I want romance, and all that useless stuff-" you ramble on, while he chuckles to himself, shaking his head.
"You're so fucking dumb, you know that?" He suddenly says, and you stop right where you're standing, watching as he gets up as well, walking towards you. He's actively backing you up against his kitchen counter now, until you hit the edge, unable to go any further. "What're you talking about?" He shakes his head.
"I said what I said." You mumble, offended by his earlier comment, making him move his hands from his pockets to your cheeks, before he kisses you for the very first time.
Completely out of the blue, for no reason whatsoever. And the worst fucking thing about is, is that you actually like it- that you like the way he kisses you, no instant fuckboy-techniques or anything, just a simple, slow and gentle kiss.
"When I asked you out, in my office." He starts, before he interrupts himself by laughing at your wide eyes, truly visualizing the deer-in-the-headlights kind of look. "I didn't ask you out just for publicity's sake." He chuckles. "But I also couldn't explain anything further because you simply left- which is what you constantly do, by the way." He scolds carefully, still not leaving your close proximity. "You never let me explain things. You always just stay until you hear something you don't like- and then you run with it."
"Wait- so-" You stammer, still a little caught off guard by his actions. "-wait we've been in a relationship for like.. two weeks now-"
"Three and a half, but go on." He teases, still smiling, while you're realizing what's been going on the entire time.
"-And I didn't fucking know?!" You bark, actually astonished at how you didn't connect the dots sooner.
The time he spent with you. The dates he organized. The constant texting, the constant calls, the way he grew soft with you, how he would call you 'baby' or 'darling' for no reason, how he would take care of you, ask how you were doing, all of those things. He didn't do them out of nowhere. He did them because he was dating you.
And you didn't even realize. Or maybe you didn't want to?
"Dumb." He says, flicking your forehead and making you whine from the sting, holding the spot. "Really dumb." He shakes his head. "Let's do it again then."
"Huh?" You wonder, watching how he backs up a little, giving you space. And it makes you a little disappointed. Fuck that.
"I like you. A lot, actually." He offers, hands back in his pockets as he watches you. You nod dumbly at that, watching his every move, making him laugh a bit awkwardly. "Listen, you got to help me out here a little. Usually you'd say something like 'oh me too' in a situation like this." He jokes, imitating your higher pitched voice, and at that, realization truly hits.
Did you ever really hated him?
Or did you just hate what he represented?
That unattainable, unreachable person you know you could love. A person so nice and admirable in your opinion that it makes you sick to your stomach, because you'll have to watch that person move on and be loved by someone that's not you one day. And while you always wished him happiness, you also wished for yourself to be that happiness even more- well aware, that it probably wouldn't ever be the case. You'd been selfishly pushing your anger onto him for no reason these past years, wasting time you could've definitely spent better, by just being an adult and maybe simply talking to him.
You've been so mean to him, for no reason other than your own personal bitterness.
You've been hating him for no better reason than to have someone to blame, someone to hate other than yourself.
"Hey- it's fine if you don't like me like that, no need to cry." He says, moving closer again- but you beat him to it, arms wrapping around his middle as you hide your face in his chest, full on slamming into him.
"I like you." You mumble into his shirt, quietly, but he hears it nonetheless. "I really like you." You repeat, and he just holds you like that for a while, hand running up and down your back.
Jungkook just loves playing with you, while you think you've got the whole thing all figured out. But maybe, down the line, both of you have forgotten the rules to the game you're playing- and it's starting to make things more and more complicated.
Tags/Warnings: mc still hates kook, kook hates her too Angst?, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes (they're getting stronger), minor age gap, sexual thoughts & suggestive talking over the phone, there's tension baby and it's getting worse
Length: ~3k.
-> Masterlist
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"So you're gonna fuck her and then what?" Jungkook asks, and Jimin chuckles a little, leaning back into the couch.
"Was thinking about it." Jimin shrugs. "She's cute and seems up for it, so why not?" He says while tapping away on his phone while Jungkook shoots him a glance through his long hair.
He's met up with Jimin at his own place, casually talking until his friend had brought up you, and his plans to woo you into his bed, no strings attached. Park Jimin doesn't do relationships after all- he breaks hearts casually, and enjoys living rather leisurely. And while yes, Jungkook does in fact participate in similar hijinks whenever he's got the time for it, he's not the same as the man in front of him. He's always upfront with whomever he ends up sleeping- it's only for pleasure, it's nothing personal, there's no chance for feelings after it. But Jimin? Jimin likes to play with people, and that's something that Jungkook just doesn't want to happen to you.
Usually, he would just tell himself it's none of his business. But if it involves you, it is his somewhat business.
"And then what?" Jungkook repeats his question, making Jimin scoff.
"Then nothing. Come on, you've got no right to lecture me on shit like that. You fuck them left and right and then? Nothing either." He says before he looks at his friend with a suspicious smile. "Or are you jealous?" He asks.
Jungkook clicks his tongue. He's not jealous- why would he be? If anything, he should pity anybody who's got to survive whatever boring escapades Jimin makes happen. He's protecting you from a disappointing orgasm, nothing else. "As if. Fuck her six days till Sunday for all I care, it's not like I'm gonna miss out on anything." He shrugs, words empty in their actual meaning as he himself doesn't even believe them in the slightest, adjusting his posture. He doesn't know why he even said them. Maybe just to put up that façade again, so he won't get teased for it to high heavens. "I just don't think you should." He shrugs, making Jimin scoff.
"And why not? Because you called dibs on her or what?" His older friend asks, before he seems to become more thoughtful. "You're worried she might talk." He says, crossing his arms. Jungkook feels somewhat offended by those words.
"No, but one day one of all of your flings will." He says with a bit of an irritated undertone- since his friend is missing the entire point. "I helped you get where you are today. Any of the shit you fuck up is gonna turn on me as well, and it feels like you keep forgetting that." He mentions, making his friend sigh.
"Hm. You've got a point." He shrugs, uncrossing his legs as he picks up his phone. "Well, I'll keep it in mind now though. Please don't think I'm not grateful." Jimin offers, ruffling the younger one's hair and making him groan out in annoyance at that.
And after he leaves Jungkook's apartment, he himself can't help but think about how odd it felt to hear his friend talk about you like this. He really isn't jealous, not at all.
So what's his fucking problem then?
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You honestly don't know how or when it started, but by now, occasionally, you'll drop by at his company building to eat at the cafeteria there with him whenever he asks via text. It's an odd habit you've both created for no reason other than boredom and the need for company- but man, does his attitude piss you off almost every single time you meet him here. If it wasn't for the free food, you wouldn't ever fucking talk a single word to him ever in that place.
The predator in his natural habitat, so to speak.
"I like you, yeah-" you shrug, answering a flirty question he had sneaked in during your meal with him. "-But you're no better than any other guy, really." You tell him, as he sits across from you, trying hard to keep his cool.
He agrees that Jimin probably only wants you as a trophy to show off, yes- but Jungkook himself? He doesn't. He doesn't care for that, doesn't see any worth in telling anybody about whatever you might indulge in behind closed doors. That's for himself only.
He wants you for himself only.
"Am I now?" He challenges, leaning back on his chair, one leg over the other as he relaxes in his posture. You feel oddly threatened by him in that moment, and not even in a bad way. He's more like a predator very much toying with his prey- confident he'll catch it no matter how far it runs.
And maybe you want to know how far he'll let you go before he starts the chase.
"Who cares." You say, taking a sip of your beverage in front of him, trying to appear unbothered by his words.
"You, apparently." He chuckles to himself, amused by your acting. He has already noticed the way you've started to shift around on your seat, legs restless as you evade any eye contact with him. "And there's nothing bad about it. I'm flattered, if anything."
You laugh. "Flattered by me insulting you?" You raise an eyebrow. "Boy, you must have some odd kinks. Not that I'm judging." You wave off.
"You really like barking like a little dog, don't you?" He asks, and you stop everything you're doing as your heated gaze finds his. "Its cute. Adorable, really, how you keep yapping at me." He smiles.
"I take back everything I said." You threaten, crossing your arms. "I hate you. You're so full of yourself, it's disgusting." You huff, and he grins with a wolfish grin.
"I mean.." he tilts his head a little, eyes dark as he licks the silver piercing on his bottom lip. "…you could be full of me too." He offers, eyes never moving away from yours, as you swallow thickly. "All you gotta do is beg." He teases, laughs when you turn a bit red across from him.
"In your dreams, Kook." You jab only, slapping some bills on the table to pay for your portion of the drinks and food, before you leave the company building.
Him still smiling to himself, satisfied as he pulls out his phone to send you the money you've left on the table back with a generous bonus on top- receiving an influx of angry emojis and even angrier insults from you only seconds after the payment is sent. He knows you'll use the money, even if you tell him you won't. He knows you just can't quite get a thank you out from between your lips when it's directed at him.
He just loves playing around with you- because he knows he's the only one who get's under your skin like this.
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Jungkook doesn't like parties.
Jungkook likes you going to parties with him even less.
The whole situation is quite ridiculous really- he had it long coming at this point however. He's almost thirty after all- people are constantly asking questions about potential lovers of his. He's good at hiding any escapades he might've had in the past; but the most annoying thing mostly for himself would be rather that there haven't been any. At least not since he's gotten closer to you this past year or so.
And he honestly doesn't even know why.
He's gotten over his stupid crush he'd had back when you were in your final year of school, staying over at his home every now and then when his sister was living with him during her final year. He's not who he was back then anymore, and he's glad he's not- but at the same time, some things feel like they're just stuck now.
Any girl he takes to bed (or on the couch, he's not really picky), always seems to warp into someone that looks like you- and it's just weird at this point. He doesn't have a crush on you. Of course, you're pretty- exactly his type, both personality wise and in looks as well, but that doesn't mean that he thinks about you as anything other than his best friend's friend who he kind of lusts over.
That doesn't make him special. You've got a lot of his friends licking their teeth for you like you're some prey to be caught. And granted, it pisses him off. You're a grown woman, not some piece of meat.
It's why he takes you out to so many of his company's events like these. He's taken you to Paris for a Dior show he'd gotten invited to, had brought you along to movie premiers, or private aftershows. He wants you to experience these things because you simply deserve it in his eyes- he can't explain it well enough for it to make proper sense, but that's just what he feels like. The look in your eyes of pure amazement at the paintings in the louvre museum in France, the stars reflecting in your eyes when you were drinking whine on the balcony of his hotel room in Dubai, or when you both walked through new York together.
It's weird.
When he's alone with you like this, in situations where you more or less have to rely on him to make sure you'll be fine, you get along great. You laugh, it's light and comfortable, relaxed even- no arguing, only playful banter and honestly good memories made. When in situations like these he does see himself even developing an emotional connection to you- but then you come back, you say your goodbyes, and the next time he meets you again with Taehyung or Jimin for just casual evenings to spend, he just feels like he's annoying you. Like you're annoying him. It just feels wrong, like a sweater that's itchy but you can't take it off.
It's horrible, really. And he doesn't even know who or what to blame.
Because again, right now, he couldn't be happier with you as his company- you're beautiful in the dress you'd picked, mature but naturally playful in the way you carry yourself. You always feel so fresh compared to all the faces he sees around him at times like these- it's all just so confusing.
"Do you think they'll write a dramatic article about me if they spot me eat all those fancy snacks there?" You ask him, fingers having tugged slightly on his sleeve to get his attention. It's small things like these, your giggling, the ease at which you seem to wrap him around your finger just by standing close to him like that, it's stupid how it always gets under his skin. All he can think about right now is how close you're standing to him, how you still hold onto his sleeve, how utterly mischievous you look right now as you eye the catering table. "I'm really hungry.. how long is this whole thing?" You ask, looking up at him.
That Dior lipgloss is really doing god's work, making the low lights of the hall reflect on your lower lip, while tinting them a subtle shade of warm pink. "Jungkook?" You ask, catching him from his thoughts.
"One more hour, then it won't look impolite if we leave." He chuckles down at you, before he takes a look around. "Though there might be a problem brewing over there. They've been talking to each other the entire time." He tells you in a bit of a lower tone. "Don't look." He orders- and you don't.
"What's the problem?" You wonder, and Jungkook sighs, clearly upset but trying to keep himself in check.
"I think they might've gotten the wrong idea about you and me." He explains. "We had to pay off three magazines last month because we've been seen together in Dubai, and now they want to gossip about you being my new 'toy'." he rolls his eyes, making you giggle.
He doesn't see the joke in any of it. You're not a 'toy' to anybody- it's insulting how they've been trying to paint you to the public.
"I mean, granted-" You offer, stepping a bit away from him before you brush something off of his tie. "-we do look like a couple sometimes, not gonna lie. Or. you know, like sugar-daddy and sugar-baby; god knows I'd never be able to bag someone like you." You laugh, before sneakily turning around to look for the group of people Jungkook had been referring to earlier. They're still talking, smiling to each other about something said amongst them, their eyes firmly on you. They're older men and women- but they honestly don't look too mean.
"Cut yourself some slack. I know a lot of guys who'd murder for a gem like you." He teases, and you cringe a bit, making him laugh. "What? Don't like my flirting?" He asks, brows raised.
"Oh I like your flirting- but not whatever the hell THAT was.!" You giggle, before you slide your hair off of your shoulder. "Just tell those magazines I'm like, your sister or some shit. Won't that clear up the air?" You ask, and he plays with his piercing for a second, before he shakes his head.
He wants to tell you that he doesn't want to lie and later be caught in a scandal if he does end up getting that close to you, if he does gain that courage and ask you out, if you do end up agreeing to trying out a relationship with him-
But he doesn't say anything, and just goes to grab your coat, ready to leave and bring you home.
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Jungkook has a bad habit.
Okay, he's got multiple if you're to be given enough to write them all down, but right now, his worst habit is his absolute lack of timing. Or maybe it's perfect timing if his goal is to just piss you off- in which case, his timing is always absolutely on point. "What?!" You hiss into the phone, turning your babypink vibrator off, letting it fall onto your bed.
You'll clean the sheets later.
"Oh wow, you sound like I interrupted some heavy workout there." He chuckles. "Though knowing you, you've been rather jerking off than actually hitting the gym." He teases, making you roll your eyes something he can't see, but surely imagines you doing.
"Fuck you." You bark at him, sitting up slowly, disappointment evident in every breath you take as you take a proper breath. "What do you want?"
"What were you using?" He asks, and you fall into silence at that, the question catching you off guard.
Jungkook is always pretty forward. He flirts, he teases, he uses anything he's got to get under your skin- but he's never been this blunt. And right now, you can't even deny what you've been doing, because he wouldn't believe you anyways- so should you actually answer him? You have to. Otherwise he'll think he's got you- and you won't give him that achievement, ever.
"A vibrator, you know, something I can trust with making me cum instead of being disappointed." You try to casually tell him, though his chuckle on the other end of the line makes you horribly weak in your knees. It's probably still the aftermath of your ruined session of self-love.
Yes, that's it.
"Cute." He simply comments. "Though I take from your sour attitude that it failed at it's task this time?" He almost sings, making you frustrated again because fuck him, fuck men, and fuck this one most of all ten times. "Poor thing. Guess I'm honored you picked up my call though, instead of finishing up." He laughs to himself, and you scoff.
"Fuck off, I thought it was something important." You bite at him. "I could finish myself off right now just fine, you do nothing to me." You try and jab at him, though you should've known he doesn't play by those rules. His own don't apply to him. He's cheating in his own game, and you know it- and yet you fall into his traps every single time.
"Oh?" He says, before he chuckles darkly. "Prove it." He demands, and you squeeze your legs shut as if on instinct.
If you deny, you'll never hear the end of it. If you agree, you'll never hear the end of it. You don't even know if he's serious- maybe he just wants to tease you as always, not putting a single ounce of truth into his demand- and yet, it also fills you with an odd shameful sense of excitement. You've never done anything like this. And his voice is pretty nice to listen to, so..
"Make me." You challenge, and you expect him to laugh, or say anything else than what he actually ends up saying.
In this moment, he's the voice of reason. This is dangerous territory you're both walking on, and while you might be completely clouded by lust in this moment, but he's still very much clear in his head. "Not like this." He simply tells you because of that, voice awfully sober, so much so that it makes even you sit up now, phone in your hand.
All until the shame hits, making you frustrated and embarrassed. "Just say you're fucking with me, asshole, no need to pull such a piss-poor joke like that.!" You angrily tell him- though his next words make a shiver run down your spine- and not a good one, in fact.
"I'm far from joking." He says, sighing. "I apologize for even.. letting it remotely get here. That was entirely my fault." He tells you, and you sigh.
"What did you even want in the first place?" You ask him, by now completely pulled from your mood anyways.
"Nothing. I actually don't remember it anymore." He chuckles a bit awkwardly. "Sorry for my bad timing. I'll leave you to it." Jungkook almost rushes out, before he hangs up.
And he doesn't know that for a good moment, you stare at your phone just as confused as he is.
Sometimes, plans are too good to be true. Sometimes, plans are exactly what they seem to be. And sometimes, plans have good intentions- but they end up causing nothing but chaos.
Tags/Warnings: mc continues to hate kook, kook hates her too but also maybe not??, Angst, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication!!, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, there's tension but this time not the good kind
Length: ~2.5k.
-> Masterlist
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Relationships.. aren't really your cup of tea.
With one of your exes in jail, the other one on a restraining order, and the newest hopefully still back at living with his mom somewhere in America, you've really had enough up to this point in time. You've gotten cheated on, gotten cheated on again, and guess what- cheated on once more. It's like you can't keep a guy entertained with you- and so when Park Jimin sits in front of you, asking you out on a date- your answer is pretty clear right from the start.
Or maybe it isn't really as straightforward as you'd like it to be.
"Can I ask why not?" Jimin asks, taking a sip from his coffee across from you. You'd suspected something like that might happen- after all, Jimin had never been one to hide his attraction to someone. And you were quite flattered, to say the least- he was a model after all. Any girl would feel their ego boosted to be wanted by a man like him, plastered all over billboards and displayed in numerous magazines all across the world. He's a sight to behold- and maybe that's what intimidates you the most about him.
He's similar to Jungkook in that department. There's a sense of.. not being enough on your part. Like you'd have to compete for the rest of your life if you were to try and spend it at his side.
"I.. I'm not sure. I feel like it would be unfair to you to say yes when I honestly haven't ever thought of it." You shrug, unsure how to quite explain your reasonings when you're not even sure of them yourself. "I'm not that.. I don't really know how to date properly. And right now, I'm also not looking for anything." You say, and he nods.
"Well, it doesn't have to be anything set in stone." He shrugs. "We can just spend time together, you know? Doesn't have to have any strings attached." He tries, though he deep down already knows that you'll decline.
"No, I mean, I'm not searching for anything right now." You say, and he smiles.
"Honestly figured. So you and Jungkook, huh?" He asks, and you almost choke on your cookie you've been attempting to eat, not having expected to have that name be dropped all of a sudden, especially not in that context. "Hey, you can't blame rumors from spreading. Something like this doesn't stay low-key with a guy like Jungkook at your side." He jabs playfully, though you're visibly confused.
"What the hell are you talking about?" You ask, voice raising in pitch at your complete confusion. "I'm not going out with him. And neither are we fooling around." You tell him, weirdly enough getting a little shy at the last bit of your sentence, as you remember the almost phone-sex-escapade you both have had a few weeks prior.
"Oh?" Jimin seems amused now, leaning back in his chair. "I must've misunderstood something then, last meeting I had. Staff at the company building was chattering like a cat watching a fly on the window." He says, raising his shoulders before letting them drop back down, clearly entertained at watching you squirm in frustration over whatever the hell those nosy women have started to make up.
"As if!" You scoff. "Jungkook and me, yeah, funny." You huff, slumping down in your chair, arms crossed.
"Why not?" Jimin asks, now genuinely interested. He's always wondered why you both seem to ignore each other to such a degree there's clearly something going on between the two of you, and it doesn't take a genius to see that. "I mean, you're pretty close, aren't you?" He wonders, and you don't react for a moment.
"I don't know." You say. "One moment he's super sweet, perfect guy, and then Boom! Asshole, makes me wanna gauge my eyes out." You say, a little agitated. "He makes fun of me and he's just in over his head all the time. Mister perfect, acting like I'm some sort of peasant.." You complain under your breath, making Jimin giggle across from you.
"Sounds like someone's got a crush." He snickers.
"Do not!" You bark back, feeling insulted. "It's more like a-… big brother kind of thing. I don't know. He's annoying." You try and justify.
"Huh." The older guy hums. "Sweet home Alabama~" He sings under his breath to tease you, and you kick after his shin underneath the table, almost hitting your own knee in the process.
"Shut up, park!" You say, before your phone vibrates. "God, can't I get a break today!" You almost yell, seeing that the guy you just had a conversation about was calling you. You pick it up without hesitating much however, ready to tear him a new one. "What do you want-"
"I need you to come to my office, asap. Where are you right now?" He asks, cutting you off. The tone of his voice makes you snap right out of your headspace you'd been in just seconds ago, the seriousness in it making you nervous- but you give him the location of the cafe anyways. "I'll send you a cab. I'll see you in a few." He tells you, before he hangs up, not leaving any room for you to argue.
"Mister perfect?" Jimin asks, but you don't respond to his teasing as you pull out your wallet to give him a couple of bills.
"It sounded kind of serious. Here's my cut of the bill-" You say, before putting your stuff together, laptop barely fitting into the worn out bag you carry around. "-good lord please let it just be something stupid like he got some prostitute pregnant-"
"How's that a 'just'-" Jimin argues amused, but you simply raise your arms before slipping into your coat.
"I don't know!" You tell him, taking the last sip of your hot chocolate, leaning over to kiss his cheek shortly after downing your treat. "I'm sorry I have to book it, I'll see you Friday?" You ask, and Jimin just smiles fondly, correcting the collar of your blouse for you.
"Of course." He says-
and you don't notice him look after you for a while, for as long as he can see you before you get into the cab and leave.
Well- at least he tried, he tries to comfort himself.
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"there you are. Sorry you had to wait, the meeting lasted longer than I thought." Jungkook says, holding the glass door to his office open for you, black button up shirt undone the first few, silver watch on his wrist catching the light a little. "Come in. Did I pull you away from something?" He wonders, and you shake your head.
Whenever he's dressed like this, and in this kind of environment, it reminds you of how different you both are. You write books for a living- you don't even own formal wear like that, and it makes the age difference between you both sometimes more obvious than other times. Right now, it's pretty evident- with your simple dress and somewhat dirty boots, you look like you still study at some university, while he, dressed in slacks and all clean and mature, definitely looks his age.
It makes you feel a little.. small.
"No- well, a little, but it's fine, honestly." You shrug, sitting down on the small black leather sofa he's got secluded from his main desk as he sits down on it first, hand gesturing for you- the gesture making you notice the silver rings he's wearing today. Jungkook has always liked jewelry, you noticed. With his Numerous piercings, he's always been one to freely express himself, be it with them or his body ink you've briefly seen here and there, but never in full. "Jimin kind of asked me out, and it was super awkward, but that's not important right now-" You start, but he shakes his head, arms crossed and fabric of his black shirt straining around his biceps.
May god have mercy on you.
"It actually is. Did you say yes?" He wonders, and you look at him with confusion.
"Why's that relevant? You gonna hook me up in some fifty shades of grey kind of contract or something?" You wonder, but he doesn't seem to bite the teasing bait you throw him this time- so you drop your attempt. "I said no." You answer, and he nods.
"Alright." He says, internally a little (a lot) relieved at your answer, before he sighs, running a hand over his face. "One of those gossip websites online has leaked photos of the company event we went to. I guess you can already see where this is going." He assumes, and you groan.
"Nooo-" You whine. "Really?" He nods somberly. "Fuck me.!" You complain, and he snickers a bit to himself.
Gladly, he thinks to himself. But right now, there's not really a good moment for jokes like that.
"I'm sorry." You apologize, and he looks at you confused. "You always take me to these things, and I got so.. comfortable with it I guess I lost touch with how dangerous it has been all along for you and stuff." You mumble quietly, looking down at your knees. "I bet we can't just say we're not a couple and they'll just let it go?" You wonder, and he looks at you with a gaze you're not sure what to think of.
"What if we simply don't?" He asks. You look at him wide eyed. You wish you could read his thoughts in moments like these, when he simply offers a glimpse of what's going on in his head, but never enough for you to figure out his plans entirely.
"Huh?" You ask because of that, and he shrugs as an answer.
"What if we say we are a thing?" He asks, and in a way, you want to say no, because where the hell does he even get the idea from in the first place?
"But why?" You question him, and he uncrosses his legs, taking up a little more space as his arms unravel, hands clasped together as his forearms rest on his knees.
"It's a lot to ask, I know." He confesses. "But it would honestly help me tremendously. Mainly in getting those cheap paparazzi off my dick with their constant surveillance and need for money in order to keep silent." He reveals.
"So you want be to be your.. girlfriend so they stop following you around?" You ask, he nods.
"At it's core, yes." He tells you. He doesn't want to bombard you with anything more than that right now, well aware that too much at once can scare you off like a traumatized pet.
"huh." You hum out loud, thinking about it. Well- would it be so bad? It would also get any guy off of you as well, helping you in focusing more on your work and less on having to try and always make sure no publisher you get into contact with feels as if they have a chance to get closer to you than on a professional level. So in a way, it's beneficial for you both, isn't it? "Alright. Cool." You nod, and he looks surprised for a second.
"You sure?" He asks, and you nod.
"Yeah, I'm alright with that." You tell him, stretching your legs for a second before you lift the strap of your worn down bag back over your shoulder. "Is that all?" You ask, and he nods.
"Yeah." He offers as an answer, before you stand up and walk out the room.
Leaving him behind, unsure of what really just happened.
Unsure if you really understood what he was asking you.
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Something you've not really thought of was, that with Jungkook now tied to your name, there was a lot of demand from you.
Not only private information (that was taken care of by him and his company basically, having taken weeks to make sure you were under the best online and offline security there is), but also your work. It didn't take long for the public to find out that you were an author- several of your novels having sold out unexpectantly overnight.
And in a way, it's a slap to your face.
You should be happy, and deep down, you are. Your works are finally reaching more people than ever- but it also makes you hate Jungkook again. Because this victory doesn't feel earned. It feels.. almost pitiful. Anything you're gonna release now will always be under the wing of his popularity, taking away any feeling of accomplishment you've been able to feel in the past.
Maybe you've not thought this through. Maybe all of this wasn't really truly worth it after all- but it's done now, no way to turn back. The only thing you can do in this moment is what you do best: hide away. Something you're a pro at, as pathetic as that sounds.
So when Jungkook calls you, you ignore it. There's no use in talking to him, and he never has anything nice to say to you at all anyways, so why bother. He's just gonna mock you or something, and right now, your ego is just too fragile to take that.
His texts go unanswered. You don't wanna know what he's got to say, you don't wanna read what he might be trying to tell you. It won't change anything.
Friday comes and goes. You just don't feel in the mood for it- rather staying in bed all day, ignoring life and even your own body because why would you care about cooking food for yourself when you could rather simply sleep the day away. Your books are selling, you don't need to rush out anything new for the time being- it'll all be fine.
Jimin asks where you are. Of course he does- he probably wants to know the newest gossip you've got, or he might be missing your snacks you bring over every time you watch a movie together. But he's got Jungkook and Tae at his house, probably. He'll be fine- he won't even notice you're not there.
Saturday goes by in a blur. You don't even remember eating anything- only a headache from sleeping the entire day away, some meds you flushed down with some water to combat it all before going to bed yet again, never changing out of your pyjamas, especially once your period hits of all things. And now? It's sunday, 6 in the morning, and you're wide awake, sitting in front of your laptop on your desk, scrolling through the massive reviews to your works online, some websites and blogs even writing full on articles about them. But it doesn't do anything. It doesn't make you feel anything.
None of those positive comments is able to lift your mood.
While he's left behind, wondering what went wrong.
Reflecting on your past can sometimes be the only thing that can help you move on in the present. And other times, it'll just confuse you- simply because you're not ready to understand yet.
Tags/Warnings: mc still hates kook, kook hates her too Angst?, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes (hello hello mister), minor age gap, it's so frustrating Istg
Length: ~2k.
-> Masterlist
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Before Jungkook jokingly invested his last savings into a random share on the stock market, he was a looser.
He barely graduated, worked in part time here and there, never able to hold anything long term- neither a job nor a relationship. He'd been lost for so long that his family really lost hope in him- cutting contact at some point, only ever really reaching out to him if his sister needed to have a place to stay at in seoul. It's how he met you in your final year- having spent a new years eve with her at his apartment at one point, driving him crazy with your easy excitement and pretty face. He remembers you having braces, glasses on your nose constantly slipping down during conversations. You were simply adorable.
And so, so horribly out of his league.
He'd been simply some guy working at a 24/7 convenience store, always taking the nightshift so he could take home some leftovers from the coolers to eat as dinner. His hair had been long, dry from having bleached it at some point, clothes dark and plain, apartment small and pitiful in it's existence. Meanwhile, you already knew what you wanted in life, talented in writing, grades not perfect but a bit above average to match his sister's great studying. Even with almost five years separating you both, he felt as if you'd surpassed him already.
It made him more resenting towards you than anything else, really.
How you'd help him wash the dishes, or offer to help him with dropping off his doctor's note at his convenience store to be sent to his boss at a location he himself didn't even knew, but you figured out not even after ten minutes of searching on the internet.
You were pretty. Well put together. A bright future ahead. No cracks in sight.
And there he was, trying to become invisible from society so he can rot away.
"It doesn't matter if it makes sense." You'd said to him one night after his sister had gone to bed, and you'd went to grab something to drink- having found him in front of his laptop on the kitchen floor, scrolling through stock market sites. "If you're interested in something, nurture it. Try and make something out of it." You'd shrugged, bare feet quietly tapping away as you left him alone with himself, his fingers making that fateful click later that night.
He really hated how much he admired you back then, almost idolizing you. But nowadays he knows that in some odd way, you became like a push he'd needed to at least attempt to change his situation into something better- and granted, it did change.
Quite literally almost entirely overnight.
And over the next weeks, and months, way after you'd left his life, he still carried your advice with him. He nurtured his newfound interest, learned more and more and more about it, and suddenly, he wasn't a nobody any longer.
Suddenly, he'd made it.
When he'd met you again years later, Taehyung having brought you along to a casual night at his newly furnished apartment, he instantly recognized you- and he knows you did as well.
And suddenly, that weird hatred flared up again, because you became even prettier now. Standing in front of him wasn't someone young and unsure anymore, but a woman, clear in what she wanted, content in what she had. You never truly complained over your life or any issues, only ever brought a lightness to conversations that felt refreshing and natural.
And at the same time, you began to haunt him again.
Not only with your character, but your looks as well- everything about you just horribly attractive in his eyes, even when you weren't wearing makeup, or were just dressed in a random shirt and sweatpants too wide on your body. It was stupid. It still is.
Because even now, when he's got so much to offer, you still don't look his way.
You still don't pay any attention to him.
And he hates it.
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Jungkook was that weird crush you had when you thought you were convinced you didn't like boys at all.
With the way his sister had always talked about him, you'd thought he might've been some weird creep that prayed on underage girls on late night discord calls or something- but he was nice. Yeah, his apartment was a bit messy, his behavior a bit off and withdrawn, but he was nice nonetheless. Not only was he visually attractive, but also in character- a gentle soul tucked away in that tall bulky body of his, only shown in the small gestures he'd send your way. From the quiet moments of washing dishes in his kitchen, soft jokes said here and there, to in depth discussions about whether or not dogs can dream like humans do, or if love was more than just a social construct.
There had never really been any classmate or friend you'd felt truly attracted to- most love interests you had being fictional, as embarrassing as it is to admit that. But in real life, the male gender never really seemed to pull your interest.
And then came Jungkook.
And then, somewhere down the line, something went wrong.
The Jungkook back then, you never hated.
You could never. That guy was soft, gentle, someone you'd seek out whenever the day was bad, or just because you'd crave his company. He was just a little lost- but nothing was ever truly wrong with him.
He changed into what you can now only describe as a self-centered asshole, who really only thinks of you at all if you've got something to offer. He weirdly enough still shows traces of that old Jungkook whenever you're both alone- but add someone else into the mix, mostly any of your shared friends, and he becomes a suit wearing demon in disguise. It's like he looks down on you now- and not only because of the height difference, which in itself was an insult to you.
All of his achievements, all of what he now was just felt belittling to you. Like he was mocking you by simply existing.
Maybe it was internalized sadness over your own success, or lack thereof - having made enough to sustain yourself, but never enough to be comfortable and relaxed about money either, lile he is these days. And then there is him; having simply gotten lucky.
To this day it kills you to see his face in magazines.
Someone like him was bound to get paired up with a model, or designer, or at least someone better than you. And now? Now you're stuck with him in some fake relationship just because you always end up taking whatever leftovers life threw your way. Always. Even when you don't want them, it seems like.
But this might be all you ever get.
You don't want to be Jungkook's pity girlfriend.
You don't want to just fake date him.
So you take it.
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"What do you want?" You ask grumpily, really not wanting him here, and he shrugs.
"Jimin said you're not answering him-" Jungkook says in front of your door, white plastic bag in hand. "-and we both know you love leaving me on read, so no surprise there." He chuckles, and in a way, highly probably because of your heightened emotions due to your period (that must be it, nothing else, for sure), you actually feel kind of bad.
You do leave him on read all the time.
"I don't know. Maybe I wanna know what's wrong first." He offers, and you simply cross your arms, signaling to him that there is something wrong- but you don't want to address it. It's basic human behavior- and at this point in his career, he's learned a lot about it.
After all, it shaped him into the perfect man- or at least shaped the way he can behave like one, talented in the art of morphing into whatever he needs to be at any given time.
"Nothing. M' on my period, not feeling good, so that's all there is to it." You dismiss him- but he makes no effort to leave, even putting his foot in between your door to make sure you can't just slam it shut. He loves making life difficult for you, so youre not surprised at all. "What? You brought me pads or what?" You try and jab at him, but he just laughs. If at or about you, you can't be sure. Both ways piss you off equally however- so it doesn't really make any difference for you down the line.
"No, but takeout. Your favorite, in fact." He smiles. "To feed the evil monthly demon, so to speak. If I had known about it sooner from, I don't know- maybe you talking to me, I would've, in fact, even gone out to buy the princess her monthly necessities, if needed." He teases, making you roll your eyes before you hold out your hand.
"Come on, just give it and leave!" You demand, and he laughs whole heartedly now. You hate that you like that specific way of laughter from him. It sounds ridiculous, all high pitched and insane- it's his real way. Not whatever fake shit he pulls off constantly.
It's a glimpse of the Jungkook you wish you could be close to now. But that Jungkook isn't there any longer, having gotten lost in the void as he'd grown up.
"Did you really think I'd just play delivery guy and not wanna have something for it?" He jokes, holding the bag out of reach. "And here I thought you knew me, love." Jungkook teases, and you hate how that small little petname at the end seems to make your stomach churn.
You blame it on the food.
Even later, when everything's eaten, empty containers on your small table in the living room waiting to be thrown away while you lay on your side on the couch, you blame it on everything but him. You blame your period for making you so easy to sway in your decisions, your mood for not wanting to argue, anything.
Anything is better than admitting to yourself that you actually want him here. That you actually enjoy his presence, the way he seems to offer his care for you. Anything is better than that.
And then he lifts your legs from where they're hanging off the side of your couch, up over his thighs- one of his palms resting on your shin while he continues watching the random movie on TV. You wonder why he seems so relaxed. Almost happy to be here. Your apartment is tiny- there's nothing pretty about it, furniture old and the sofa you're both sitting on has seen better days, that's for sure. And yet he's here, face showing him completely content. "You wanna sleep?" He asks, voice gentle, and that's when it happens.
He's being so disgustingly nice to you right now. Has bought you food, is helping you lay down comfortably on the couch, runs his fucking thumb over the bare skin of your leg- you hate it.
You hate all of it.
Unbeknownst to Jungkook, you're very much attached to him. Horribly so, in fact, and you can't blame your hormones every day of the year for that, sadly. Maybe your crush isn't so much past tense as you thought it might have been.
"No." You stubbornly say, and at that he looks over to you, eyes shiny with unshed tears. You don't say anything else for a while, before you can spot his gaze on you. "Stop staring." You again, very stubbornly reply, making him smile. "Haha, funny." You pout into the round green dinosaur pillow- or stuffed animal? He's not sure. All he knows is that he remembers where exactly it comes from. You've always been sensitive like that, easily attached, and it makes him wonder if you really don't like him deep down, because you're not at all attached to him, even though you're connected by much more than just simple time.
He tries, he really does. But there's just no chance with you, it seems like.
"I hate you so much, darling." He laughs, unable to hide his emotions any longer as you're staring him down, cheeks still wet with tears, fingers digging into the green plush dinosaur you'd told him you'd given away because you didn't care- but it's clear to him that you do-
Just as much as he does.
And somehow, in that moment, you feel like you understand what he means when he says he hates you. Because god knows, you do too.