#hayray fic

[sunflowervol31]

Writing Hollyoaks fanfiction in 2024 was definitely not on my bingo card for the year, but here we are.

I might finish this, I might not, but here’s 500 words of a HayRay scene I can’t get out of my head.

Dillon finds him in the living room, and knows, in that moment, that Lucas is reliving it again. All this time, years later, it still passes over his boy like a storm cloud, a dark and rolling presence that eclipses his whole body.

Dillon can always tell when it’s happening.

He knows, when Lucas is sitting at their kitchen island or curled up on their couch, and his fingers trace the silvery scar that stretches along the thin bend of his elbow, that he’s thinking about it. Or when they’re home - home home, in the village, not their little flat in Manchester - and his steps falter slightly as they pass in the direction of the folly. Or when he presses his mouth to Dillon’s ribs after bolting awake in the middle of the night, a silent apology brushed against phantom bruises that have long since healed.

Sometimes, Dillon can coax him out of it — can pull Lucas’ hand away and tangle their fingers together, can keep his steps steady as he walks beside him, can draw Lucas’ mouth up to his in the darkness. Other times, Dillon can do nothing but wait it out, watching, heart-sore, from a distance that’s existed so infrequently since they were sixteen and seventeen.

He doesn’t know if tonight will be one of those nights.

“Babe,” he says quietly, leaning a shoulder against the doorframe to the living room. And then, when there’s no reaction, louder, “Lucas.”

Lucas’s gaze lifts from where he was staring unseeingly at the rug to Dillon with a slow blink. Dillon doesn’t think he even realised he was there. “Sorry,” Lucas says softly, his voice hoarse from misuse. He clears his throat before asking, “Did I wake you?”

Dillon shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “Woke up and you weren’t there.”

“Sorry,” Lucas says again, habitually. The corner of his mouth tugs down slightly. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Dillon nods, waiting, as Lucas’ eyes flit over his face, down his body and back up again, assessing Dillon for injuries that no longer exist.

Finally, when he finds none, Lucas reaches his hand out with a sigh.

The tight feeling that’s been wrapped around Dillon’s chest since he woke up — to Lucas’s side of the mattress empty and cold — loosens.

He pushes away from the doorframe with a quiet huff, his socked feet muted against the floorboards as he walks towards the couch. Lucas watches him silently as Dillon approaches. His legs spread easily to allow Dillon to push in close when he reaches him, movements automatic and familiar after years together. He tilts his face up to meet Dillon’s gaze, and he looks so young in that moment that Dillon could almost mistake him for the angry boy he once was, confused and hurting and lashing out at anyone that got too close.

Dillon brushes the backs of his fingers along the defined arch of Lucas’ cheekbone before cupping the nape of his neck, thumb tucked under his ear. Lucas’ eyelashes shiver at the touch.

“Want to talk about it?” Dillon murmurs.

[meljwrites]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hollyoaks Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lucas Hay/Dillon Ray, Lucas hay & Francine "Frankie" Osborne Characters: Lucas Hay, Dillon Ray, Frankie Osborne Additional Tags: Mending friendships, Frankie Osborne needs a hug, Established Relationship, set during early june 2024 Summary:

When Lucas sees Frankie crying, he reaches out. She's hiding something from him, but apologises. He just wants her to be okay.

Or:

If Hollyoaks won't give me the Lucas & Frankie forgiveness scene I'll do it myself.

[harmonytheme]

and all at once we were radiant; (1879 words) by effete chapters: 1/3 | hayray | hollyoaks

“You're amazing, and smarter than you give yourself credit for, and really good at football—” Dillon continues, “oh, and how could I forget hot. Really hot. Like, smoking hot.” Lucas claps a hand over Dillon’s mouth. The tips of his ears are burning red. “Shut up.” (Set after the 16th of May, during the weeks following Lucas and Dillon's first kiss.)

[sunflowervol31]

So I wrote another 500 words of the HayRay fic…

“Want to talk about it?” Dillon murmurs.

Lucas’ eyes slip shut, sighing deeply through his nose, before he slumps forward, like a puppet with its strings cut, to press his forehead gently against the flat plane of Dillon’s stomach. Dillon hunches instinctively, his spine curving like a parenthesis over Lucas.

Neither move for a beat, the room silent except for their slow breaths and the quiet hum of the fridge across the room. Dillon waits, and waits, and waits.

It’s like a hunger, he thinks, when Lucas gets like this. The desire to consume whatever it is Lucas is feeling in that moment, to starve Lucas of that pain and gorge himself on it instead. It lodges in his throat, obstructing his airways and making him choke.

“Nightmare,” Lucas mutters finally.

The pressure on Dillon’s windpipe eases.

He scritches at the soft strands of hair at Lucas’s nape. “Oh, yeah?” he asks. He tucks his head down, pressing his mouth briefly against Lucas’ crown, the soft swirl of his hair. His nose fills with the familiar scent of Lucas’ shampoo, minty and masculine, dulled slightly by the early hour of the morning and the earlier press of Lucas’ pillow.

Lucas nods in answer to his question, forehead still resting against Dillon’s torso. Dillon sways easily with the movement while Lucas’ hands lift to curl loosely around Dillon’s hips, fingertips edging under the waistband of his pyjamas just slightly.

“Hey,” Dillon whispers after another moment of silence, pulling back to look down at Lucas. He guides Lucas’ head up with a finger tucked under his chin, his neck bending back easily, as pliable as always under Dillon’s touch. His expression is open and honest when their eyes meet again. “The nightmare?” Dillon prompts softly.

Lucas’ fingers twitch at Dillon’s sides. He nods again.

Dillon brushes his thumb against the swell of Lucas’ bottom lip. “Know what caused it?” he asks.

Lucas’ tongue darts out, tracing the path of Dillon’s touch briefly, before he pulls his lip into his mouth. He worries the flesh between his teeth, rose skin blanching white, before Dillon gently pulls it free.

There have been a lot of triggers over the years, ranging from the obvious to the seemingly nonsensical. The glimpse of a man with hair going silver at his temples or the unexpected lilt of an accent. The specific colour of a necktie or the earthy smell of moss and dead leaves. A golden chain and the crisp white collar of a shirt. Words and songs and smells.

Dillon always assures Lucas it’s perfectly natural, as does his therapist. But he also knows it frustrates Lucas to no end, the way his body and mind still carry the weight of everything that happened.

[sunflowervol31]

The HayRay fic pt. 3

I’ll post this on AO3 eventually… Parts 1 & 2 here.

Dillon always assures Lucas it’s perfectly natural, as does his therapist, during the occasional appointment Lucas still has with her. But Dillon also knows it frustrates Lucas to no end, the way his body and mind still carry the weight of everything that happened.

“Do you know what day it is?” Lucas asks eventually. He sounds tired, world-weary, each word scraping over his vocal chords. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

The question catches Dillon off-guard. He glances at the opposite wall, where the clock sits above the kitchen sink, its hands like the parody of a smile as it slowly creeps towards 2am. “Monday?” he asks, confused.

Lucas barely suppresses an eye roll at his answer. Warmth licks at Dillon’s rib cage instantly in response, pleased by the presence of Lucas’ typical snarkiness despite the levity of the conversation. “What date, Dillon?” Lucas amends.

Dillon blinks. He mentally flips through his calendar, through his work schedule, through birthdays and holidays and - oh. His eyes snag on the calendar by the fridge, the bold lettering barely visible in the dim light. Anniversaries.

The warmth in his chest dissipates, replaced by a creeping frost, ice lancing through each capillary of his lungs.

The realisation must show on his face, as Lucas rolls his lips into his mouth, eyebrows twitching up in resigned concession. Dillon’s brain supplies the memory of a sixteen year old Lucas in a white hoodie, alcohol on his breath and Dutch courage in his bloodstream, looking despondent after Dillon had pulled away from him — the only time Dillon had been the one to pull away first.

“I didn’t realise,” Dillon says lamely.

Lucas’ thumbs sweep soothing arcs over Dillon’s hipbones. “I know,” he says easily, without resentment.

It’s not something Dillon thinks about often. What happened at the folly. Not because he wants to pretend it didn’t happen — because it did, there’s no point in acting otherwise. But because their relationship is so much more than that, made up of thousands of moments over the years that make that one horrible memory pale in comparison.

It all unspools like a movie reel in Dillon’s mind. The first time they met, an angelic face marred by a scowl, a soft voice hardened by harsh words. The twist of their fingers, stiff from the cold, on a winter’s night, rough brick against their backs through their jackets. What felt like a hundred almost-first kisses, and the yearning that hummed through Dillon’s veins for months on end. Their actual first kiss, the starburst of fairy lights in the corner of Dillon’s vision.

Everything that came after that. The spill of hot tears over Lucas’ cheeks when Dillon left for uni. The peal of Lucas’ laughter echoing through the train station as Dillon span him in circles when Lucas followed him to Manchester a year later. The taste of vodka on Lucas’ tongue, bass vibrating through their bones and the press of bodies on a dance floor. Slow mornings on their couch with old reruns on Netflix, dregs of tea in their favourite mugs and toast crumbs on the coffee table. Family FaceTimes and weekends away, long car journeys and grocery shopping.

Their life.

Dillon made his decision the same day he left the hospital, ribs broken and heart shattered. He hasn’t changed his mind since: he’ll stand by Lucas for as long as Lucas will have him.

He’s thankful to whatever higher power that’s at work that Lucas hasn’t changed his mind yet either.

[meljwrites]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Hollyoaks Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lucas Hay/Dillon Ray Characters: Lucas Hay, Dillon Ray, John Paul McQueen, Ste Hay, Scott Drinkwell Additional Tags: Kissing, Panic Attacks, Discussions of religious trauma, Mentions of conversion therapy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Ste Hay's less than perfect parenting, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Attempted Sex, No Smut, Internalized Homophobia Summary:

Dillon invites Lucas over when no one is home. What's the worst that could happen?

An exploration of Lucas's struggles with intimacy and the lasting impact Carter's teachings has on him.

[sunflowervol31]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Hollyoaks Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lucas Hay/Dillon Ray Characters: Lucas Hay, Dillon Ray, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Long-Term Relationship(s), Long-Distance Relationship, Kinda, Canon Related, but probably, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys In Love Summary:

Six weeks of texts and phone calls and FaceTimes, both of them trying to make up for the fact that this was the longest they’d been apart since they got together — and long before that, even.

Six weeks of Dillon in Manchester and Lucas at home, both trying to settle into a new routine that still included each other but in a totally different way.

Six weeks of Dillon meeting new people and living in a new place and learning new things, and six weeks of missing Lucas like a lung, waiting for Lucas to be here.

Or:

Lucas visits Dillon at his university halls for the first time.

[meljwrites]

The final part is up!!

enjoy the completed fic :)