Dream Journal 2017-10-16: Witching Hours Are Billed In 15-Minute Increments
Shameless Self Plug: I intend to turn this dream into a short story because it seemed ripe for further exploration. If you enjoy this post and want to read the the expanded version, let me know and I’ll post it when I have a decent draft. The good news is that I hope to have such a draft done in a week or two. :)
Exorcisms are a relatively popular topic in paranormal fiction. But one problem with how they are represented in popular culture is that they skew very heavily toward Christian theology. Evil spirits aren’t present solely in Christianity, and it makes a certain kind of sense that different theologies may have different levels of effectiveness when it comes to removing them.
And that is how our tale begins:
There is a public library that is in the process of being renovated, but weird things are afoot that keep interrupting the renovation efforts. Strangers coming in off the street en masse like they moths to a flame. These people pay no attention to the construction workers or safety regulations and stand around looking menacing. Their eyes are open, but unseeing. Some of their number speak in tongues. The tongue-speaking wouldn’t be a problem if they didn’t do it so loudly, though (it is a library, after all).
In addition to weird people in the building, tiny unexplained fires keep popping up all over the place. The flames are just barely larger than that of a match, but they don’t catch their surroundings on fire. They blink in and out of existence at random and hurt a lot if touched. And on top of that, any loose pieces of metal like pen tops or paperclips or drywall screws keep skittering across the floor and arranging themselves into intricate and otherworldly patterns.
It is clear that there is something suspicious is happening here, which is why the city called in the bishop of the Eastern Orthodox Church to assist in exorcising whatever demon was haunting this place. He could lay hands on the people and free them from possession, but the bishop couldn’t solve the underlying problem. Possessed individuals would wander in at all hours, forcing the bishop to remain at the library to keep everyone safe. The bishop needed backup.
Enter Hazelhurst.
Hazelhurst got the call from the bishop about finding the cause behind a particularly stubborn exorcism. She was a freelance exorcist and contracted her services out to whomever needed them at competitive rates. She was also a talented witch and capable problem solver. The downside to being a witch, though, was that she pretty much had to wear the stereotypical witch garb (see header image) because people have a hard time taking witches seriously when they aren’t dressed up like a “proper witch.”
Hazelhurst travels light: All she travels with is a broom and a bowling bag filled with sensitive magic equipment. The broom isn’t for traveling, by the way; she prefers to use it for its intended purpose of cleaning. She drives to most of her appointments in a used Honda Civic.
As soon as she steps through the door, she opens up the bowling bag and takes out a black brick wrapped in a blue leather pouch. There are four toggle switches and a slider on the brick, which is known in her line of work as a Shaker Box. Hazelhurst flips the switches one at a time and spins around like she’s using a Geiger counter looking for radioactive material.
The switches are attuned to specific forms of paranormal energy, and it will cause the Shaker Box to vibrate if the selected form of energy is present. The closer or more intense the energy is, the more the box shakes. The slider on the brick is an attenuator that keeps the Shaker Box from vibrating out of control.
She pinpoints the location of the disturbance almost immediately with the help of her Shaker Box. It appears to be coming from a malevolent nature spirit that has taken up residence in a halogen light fixture mounted to the wall. Nature spirits don’t respond well to traditional exorcisms, so the only option in this instance is for Hazelhurst to just beat the crap out of that light fixture with her broom. She whacks that light fixture with fervor until it explodes into a million tiny pieces and then sweeps all the glass fragments into a plastic bag.
As soon as the light breaks, all the possessed strangers in the library come to their senses and wonder how they got there. The loose metal stops moving around, and all the fires go out. Hazelhurst writes up her invoice and hands it to the bishop before loading up her car and moving on to her next exorcism.
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This witch costume is somewhat of a rarity in that it’s not a “sexy” halloween costume. If you are interested in supporting companies that sell costumes that are classy instead of sexy, here’s the link to the HalloweenCostumes.com page.
