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[macbcth]

jessamine lovelace;

I do not want the gifts of generous hearts. I want to be seen as I am.

[cristinarosales-archive]

CHARACTER DEATHS THAT BROKE ME ➝ sirius black (harry potter)

it seemed to take sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.

harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather’s wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place.

harry heard bellatrix lestrange’s triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing – sirius had only just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second...

but sirius did not reappear.

[lexigreys]

— R.A.B

[njmphadora]

i got   n e w   r u l e s , i count 'em

[fiirelords]

[peonyleaf]

@hcgwartsnet members event ( get to know the members )   letícia: draco malfoy

[jilyss]

Lily Evans - 1960 - 1981

     She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn’t see it in themselves.“

[ripjilys]

The last of her

Pairing: Sirius x Marlene Word count: 802 Summary: They’re loosing this war. Everyone knows it. One night, Sirius just wants to escape it all, and maybe Marlene could help him. Maybe she could just drag him down. Rating: K

London was dark tonight, clouds hanging low over the sleeping city. But Sirius wasn’t asleep. He was sitting on the roof of his flat, watching the city. It seemed to slow down at night, seemed to breath slower. The late September air bit at his cheek. Two years ago, they’d have been sitting here together, the four of them. They were young then, careless. Now, they were falling, helplessly. Fighting a losing battle.

Something moved behind him and Sirius flinched, turning on the spot. He was always prepared that at any moment someone would find him, creep up behind him without him hearing it. Then, as Marlene’s head peered up from the fire stairs, he drew a breath of relief. Maybe he shouldn’t have, they hadn’t ended things on great terms the last time they saw each other, but at this point anyone who didn’t straight up want to kill him was to prefer over someone who did. 

“Hi.” He looked from her, to the ground. The small stone square was littered with cigarettes, most of them his, so when she reached him one, he naturally took it. 

“Hi.” She took a drag at the cigarette. 

“How did you know…?”

“James told me about the…disagreement.” He thought she didn’t quite meet his gaze, as to tell him, wordlessly, that she still held the same opinion. “He would’ve come, but you know…Dumbledore has the cloak. He didn’t know who else to send.” She took another drag, leaning against the fire stairs.

“I know you don’t agree…” Marlene huffed, almost inaudible. “…but I think…we need to cut down on the people we trust. More so now than ever. After…Dorcas, who knows what will happen.”

“I can’t believe you still think Remus did it. He…he loved her.” She’d hesitated, and Sirius knew why. 

Drag in, drag out, they stood quiet for a long while. The lights in the building next door shut of, then the ones in a flat across the street. Not until then had he gone through the words in his head enough times to dare speak them. 

“I’m gonna say this.” He took a deep breath. “And hope you forget it in the morning.”

“The chances are high.” Marlene pulled out another cigarette, and sat down on the edge of the roof as she lit it. 

“I…I did. I do.” 

Marlene frowned at him.

“That night, you asked if I loved you. I did.”

“Past tense.” It wasn’t an accusation, or a question. Just a simple acknowledgement. 

“No, I mean, I do. I love you.” Of all the ways he’d imagined telling her those three words, this wasn’t one of them. But he’d learnt that life didn’t ever go like you imagined. 

The night hid her reaction from him. “Maybe…maybe I do too.” She pulled her knees closer to her. 

“I love you, Marlene McKinnon, and it scares the bloody hell out of me. Because I’ve seen what happens when you love, you end up heartbroken. You don’t understand how much I wish I could hate you. I wish you could disappear into the night and I wouldn’t spend every moment worrying until I heard from you again. But fucking hell, I can’t.” He didn’t notice the tears running down his cheeks until he took a deep, slightly shaky, breath and stopped talking. 

Marlene was moving, he heard her shoes touch the stone. They were still high heeled, like they were still in school, and Mary was still there to compete with her. The tapping sound as they moved across the small square, and the unreadable expression on her face as she came close enough for him too get a proper look at her. 

In the years to come, he’d replay it in his mind. The tapping, the facial expression.

Then, she pressed her lips against him, slowly, softly. It was an apology and an explanation. It was all the hellos and all the goodbyes. He just didn’t realise what goodbye. The last goodbye.

When she leaned back, their hands touched. Sirius would always remember that touch. The last touch.

“If I’m supposed to have forgotten this in -” She glanced at her wristwatch. “- five hours, I better get to that forgetting.” He’d replay those words time after time, until they were the constant background song to everything he was doing. The last words.

He stood in the stone square for a while longer, until he was sure she’d exited the building. If he got to do it over again, he wouldn’t have waited. He would’ve ran after her, swept her up in his arms, convinced her to stay with him. But he didn’t, because he didn’t know. He didn’t know what he’d just seen was the last he’d ever really see. The last of her.