#he panics

[cryborgmechs]

part five, previous parts here

[mohawk-art]

MPreg Week - Day 1: Positive tests

Timeline: Pre-MW 2 (September 2022)

CW: Mention/thoughts of abortion (but no actual abortion)

Tabba!

Hadir hurls the test across the bathroom, the stick making a plink as it smacks against the wall.

He'd been feeling unwell for a while, ever since that night in Semey - which was, what, about three or four months ago?

The worst part of it all was the heartburn, the burning sensation travelling up his chest, the bitter taste in the back of his throat as he tried not to bring up any of his food; ugh, it was horrible.

At first, he assumed it was from all the alcohol he'd been drowning himself in, but when the heartburn and weird mood swings persisted, he thought back to that fateful night.

Through vague recollection, Hadir remembered eventually ending up tangled in someone's bed sheets, though with whom, he could not say; he could barely remember the guy's face, let alone his name, both of them had been too drunk to care.

Now here he is, dealing with the consequences of his drunken actions, in some shabby motel bathroom. Alone.

Well, maybe not quite alone...

Glaring down at the test on the floor, the two pink lines stare right back at him as though they're mocking him.

Out of all the shitty life choices Hadir's made, this is definitely his most irresponsible one.

Why did this have to happen to him?

Why did he have to go and get himself pregnant?!

Now of all times.

There's nothing but a big target on his back.

He could barely keep himself afloat, so how could he raise a good kid and keep them safe?

Simple answer - he couldn't.

Not by himself anyways.

Hadir takes a deep breath; he's been dealing with shit his entire life, he'll find a way to deal with this too.

His thoughts drift to his sister, Farah.

She always knew what to do, regardless of the situation.

Hadir still remembers the simple smile she'd flashed him, after she'd formed a plan, a way to escape, back when they were held captive by Barkov.

His own sister had disguised herself as "Commander Karim" as a way to correspond with supporters and lead the Urzikstan Liberation Force, the resistance which aimed to liberate Urikstan from its foreign occupation - and she succeeded.

The resistance had stormed Barkov's compound and freed them both, with Farah fighting like hell to free the rest of the captives.

If she were here now, she'd know what to do; although, she'd probably lecture him on how reckless he had been first.

But Farah's not here.

She's in Urzikstan with Alex, still leading the resistance and fighting for the freedom of their home country.

Hadir betrayed her, he'd betrayed the only family he had left.

The pained look on her face, when she found it was him who'd stolen and used the chemical gas, still haunted him.

More than once Hadir had thought about looking for her, but he knew better than to put her through any more pain.

Besides, he can't turn up on her doorstep and expect her to let him in, not after what he did - but where else could he go?

He has no home, no one else to help him.

He has nobody.

But all that could change...

Standing in front of the bathroom's over-sized mirror, Hadir's gaze drifts to his slightly swelled stomach, his hand instinctively going to touch it.

Could he really do this?

Glancing back at his reflection, Hadir observes the damage a year's worth of drinking and bad decisions has done.

Bedraggled curls sit atop his head, his eyes, once as rich as mahogany wood, are now out-shadowed by the huge bags underneath them, and his usually athletic figure has been reduced to a slight, almost lanky build.

He looks like shit.

Worse, he looks broken.

Hadir sinks to the floor, head in his hands as every negative thought races through his mind.

Realistically, what were his options?

There were no clinics nearby, not the kind he was looking for anyways, and he's sure it'd be too late by then.

It's taken him almost three months to figure out what might be going on, and another month just to take the stupid test.

Which makes him...khara, four months pregnant.

Almost halfway through his pregnancy.

Hadir's focus goes to his stomach once more, his hand going to rest over the swell.

The little life he's carrying will soon start to move, fluttering and kicking inside him, developing their own little personality as they continue to grow.

Now that he thinks about it, he'd probably be able to know the sex by now too - if there were anywhere he could go to find out.

Part of him hopes it's a girl, to have someone as fearless as his little sister, but he'd be just as happy if it were a boy; he could do things differently, teach him to be kind, to not let his anger override his logic.

Hadir could fix his mistakes.

He catches a glimpse of the test currently laying on the floor, without thinking, he picks it up and studies the two pink lines.

This could be his redemption; this little miracle could save him.

Instead of being consumed by rage and hellbent on revenge, Hadir could raise this little life with love and happiness, giving them the childhood he was stripped of.

Barkov destroyed his life, his family, but Hadir won't let what he's done destroy him again.

This time, he'll be the one who wins.

After pulling himself to his feet, Hadir takes another good look at his dishevelled appearance.

It's true, at this moment in time, he looks like shit.

He looks truly broken...but when Hadir thinks about it, broken doesn't mean unfixable.

The bedraggled curls atop his head could once again become smooth and velvety, the out-shadowed eyes could return to their deep, rich colour, and the lanky body could be built up to its former athletic self.

Hadir looks at the test held tightly in his hand.

If he was going to do this, he'd need some help - and there was only one person who he could turn to.

Pocketing the test, he strides out of the bathroom, grabbing his tattered rucksack off the bed on his way past, before turning to the battered oak door that served as the only barrier between him and the outside world.

Hadir takes a deep breath; this was the start of the next chapter in his life, his new beginning.

Unbolting the door, it swings open with a loud creak, and the chill of the evening air hits his face.

Hadir smiles.

He could do this, even if he couldn't, he had to.

Not just for him, but for his little miracle too.

Hadir has made up his mind.

Now it's time to go find his sister.

"Tabba" - Damn it

"Khara" - Shit

Full Name: Raja Karim Gestational age: Born at 38 weeks + 1 day Weight: 6lbs 8oz Extra info: Given his past, Hadir considered a homebirth, but after some reassurance from Farah that he and the baby were safe, he delivered little Raja in the same hospital Alex had delivered his and Farah’s baby <3

[questionedturkey]

What if the first time that Adam and Michael cuddle Michael gets so overwhelmed from how loved and safe he feels he starts crying

[abyssling]

( •᷅ ᴗ •᷄)

(´･⌓･`) ​​​

[lucres]

He wants to be a policeman. He wants to become a copper.

How are we ever gonna work?

[levochka]

was gonna do that “date with xyz” thing for jin but then i remembered he is physically incapable of ordering his own food most of the time bc he overthinks it and that date would fucking blow

[aoiiryoku]

Dabi: haha love?! what is that Dabi falls in love: oh shit

[eradne]

will @ bob: who are you?

mike: *internal bisexual mental breakdown* fcuked up if he doesn’t remember me lmao