#he'd never

[addcolortomysky]

This is how you know for SURE it was for The Bit

[doctordiscord123]

Can I request the stupid bestfriends moment with Dark and Host? Not necessarily what anon shared, but just give me silly shenanigans of these two usually straight laced egos. XD

Dark and the Host sat at the kitchen table in the manor, talking quietly, conspiratorially. They'd been whispering most of the morning, drinking their respective teas, and occasionally one of them would laugh before going back to whispering.

It was, frankly, making the rest of the house nervous.

Bim, of course, was one of the few who had the balls to directly ask what was up. Marching into the kitchen, he sauntered right up to the pair, and opened his mouth. "What --"

He didn't even get the word out before he was gone, teleported to the other side of the manor by a simple muttered few words from the Host.

Dark burst into laughter, and he leaned back in his chair, a little bit of a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You owe me now, Host. I knew he was going to be the first to ask."

Somehow, the Host conveyed the motion of rolling his eyes, though he was smirking slightly, and a $20 bill appeared on the table that Dark slipped into a pocket. "...The Host thought for sure it was going to be Wilford. He doesn't usually go this long without needing his cotton candy stash."

Dark grinned, and winked. "He doesn't~ But you said nothing about delivering it to him~"

The Host's mouth fell open. "Now that's cheating."

Dark made to reply, but then Bim came storming back in, hands on his hips, and he made an affronted sound. "Now what in the Hell was that?! You can't do that to a man! What are you two doing?!"

"Nothing." The reply was instantaneous, and unison.

Bim threw up his hands. "Great, thanks. Helpful. Fuck off." And he promptly left, muttering darkly under his breath about blind bastards and monochrome morons.

Dark and the Host immediately went back to their whispering, grinning at each other and listening close. "Anymore secrets you're willing to divulge, Host?"

"None that wouldn't make Darkiplier's head spin~"

"Oh those are the best ones!"

"Fine, fine. But if Darkiplier says a word to Google about what the Host is about to say, he will personally find a way to kill Darkiplier permanently."

"Oh don't make promises you can't keep. Now spill."

[misstankthrust]

i'm scared did george rexstrew get banned on instagram or something bc i can't find his account anywhere.

[thedummysdummy]

Given the Opportunity...

A request of a request. You know who you are ;)

~~~~~~~~

At no point in the year would more fame and fortune be found in a single room. Soft music floated from the string quartet in the northeastern corner of the room and over the guests, mostly ignored and definitely underappreciated. Smartly-dressed waiters carried trays of tiny hors d'oeuvres and cocktails in and amongst the glittering, glistening, and glamorous guests. A low level of chatter lay like a blanket over the scene, as warm and inviting as the golden lighting. 

Victor really didn’t care for any of it. 

The businessman sat at a table in the corner, welcoming those who approached, but making no moves to approach anyone else. He’d been invited as one of the sponsors of this year’s entertainment awards; duty got him through the door, but little more than that. If the girl had been there he might have actually managed to enjoy himself. However, she currently stood behind a camera in Bali. Without him. 

“Have fun, okay? Maybe not as much fun as you had last time I told you to have fun, but I don’t want you to just sit in the corner and pout the entire party. Goldman swore to me he’d get you home safely.” 

His sweetheart’s words echoed through his mind and Victor began to chuckle. She sure did know him, didn’t she? He stood and forced himself to approach the center of the room where most of the party was occurring. A waiter wandered past with a tray of scotch, which Victor happily reached out and obtained. The fiery liquid rolled down his tongue into his belly where it warmed him from the inside out. 

“You’re Mr. Li of LFG, aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice called out. Victor looked up from his drink and found the voice attached to Ms. Elnora Vaughn, one of the most highly acclaimed actresses of the year. He nodded and her face lit up. “I thought so! My, you are even more handsome in person, I must say.”

Victor lifted his cup to hide the eye roll. He recognized blatant attempts at flirtation when he saw them and had no intent to give anyone the wrong idea. “I’m in a permanent relationship. But thank you for the compliment.” He finished his drink and placed the empty cup on a passing tray, then disappeared into the crowd. 

The first drink had him feeling quite pleasant and Victor soon reached for another. And another. He had a high tolerance, after all. And a few drinks definitely made a room full of high-and-mighties much easier to bear. There was no way he would over drink. 

Such were the thoughts of someone more concerned with avoiding a certain Ms. Vaughn than with keeping track of how much alcohol he had consumed. Each went down easier than the last until he had to sit to avoid becoming better acquainted with the floor. 

This had the unfortunate consequence of making him a sitting duck. 

Within minutes, Ms. Vaughn seated herself in a chair only inches away from Victor. “Mr. Li, you are a hard man to keep track of! Glad to see you’re finally stationary for a moment. I wanted to get to know you a little better!” She scooted her chair a little closer to Victor as if testing his limits. 

He scooted his chair a little farther away. 

“Why don’t you tell me a little more about yourself, Mr. Li? It’s so rare that you’re available for conversation! What kinds of things do you like?” 

Victor turned his head a little slowly, feeling like his brain was sloshing around in his skull. It probably was, honestly. “I like my girlfriend. She’s the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet.” His words held just the slightest fuzzy edge, but really didn’t reveal the extent of his drunkenness. “I love my girlfriend. She should be here, not in Bali. She should be here with me where she belongs.” 

A slight sigh of frustration slipped from Elnora’s lips and she seemingly felt the need to try another tactic. She scooted closer to the table and hiked up her chest just enough to ensure her assets were displayed to their full size. She then leaned over toward Victor and looked up at him through her lashes; he didn’t even glance at her display. “I hear you’re quite the romantic. That girlfriend of yours better appreciate you! You’re the entire package, you know.” Elnora fluttered her lashes and smiled, though her eyebrows narrowed when this still seemed to have no effect. 

A vacant smile spread across Victor’s face and he closed his eyes, picturing the girl behind his eyelids. “She deserves the entire world. And I’ll give her the entire world. She’s the only person in the world.” 

“Isn’t she just some producer or something? You deserve more than that, Mr. Li. You could have any woman in the world. Why settle for some…nobody?” She reached out and placed a hand on Victor’s arm, which he whipped away with a scowl on his face. 

“Don’t touch me! My girlfriend is perfect. You should meet her. She would make your life better. She does that. Even though she’s a dummy, she makes life better.” Victor leaned forward in his chair and scowled, his soggy brain processing whether he had enough sobriety to stand up without making a spectacle of himself. Even in this state, he had the sense to get out of this situation. “Good night, Ms. Whoever. I need to go find my girlfriend.”  Elnora watched Victor stumble into the crowd, her eyebrows encroaching on her nose’s territory with how low they scrunched. Never before had a man so blatantly refused to give her even the time of day! Especially when they were as unsteady on the drink as Victor seemed to be. Was she losing it? That thought only made her more annoyed. She slammed the rest of Victor’s abandoned drink and wandered off into the crowd herself to make sure he was the problem in this equation.

[angryducktimemachine]

Not sure if you've already drawn it but That carriage scene/fiasco in Damascus

I doubt this is what you were hoping for but this is what came to my mind immediately 💀

[lepiota]

[helianthus21]

Aang whenever someone says a bad word against Appa

[resetmypatientviolence]

I hate that PB makes me doubt everybody.