Ryland Grace and Bim Trimmer have homemade dinner "dates" (they just call them their "dinner dates", whether or not they're romantic dates or not? Thats for them to know and you to never find out). Yes, the meat portion of dinner is people. No, Ryland doesn't care. He's not the one preparing the meat, he doesn't have to think about where it comes from. And to Bim's credit, he is a very good cook.
Sometimes other egos will join them, Yanderiplier, Murdoch, Simon, Dark, etc. On those rarer occasions, Bim and Murdoch tend to be busy the whole day before. Ryland very pointedly does not think about what they spend that day doing. It's getting meat, they are finding someone to murder for the meat.
Summary: The egos randomly have a conversation about the mustache trend of 2014 and Engie learns something about Dark and Wilford he didn’t know.
Ao3 version is here.
"Damn, I can't find it." Bim grumbled under his breath in irritation getting the other egos' that were in the same room's attention.
A few of the egos were in the living room alongside Bim; who was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, a Word search book resting on his lap. He held the book with one hand, while holding the pen in the other, using it to scratch the side of his head as he scanned the scrambled words, but he looked like he was having trouble. On the left of him was Bing, looking down at his holographic phone, doom scrolling on TikTok; seemingly ignoring the other's plight, or perhaps engrossed in his scrolling to notice. Engineer Mark, or Engie, was on the other side of Bim, working on a prosthetic leg for Eric that was almost done; he just needed to work out some kinks. Stan the water man was in a chair next to Engie reading a novel quietly to himself. Wilford was in a rocking chair next to the window with a pipe in his mouth, though he wasn't really smoking, because bubbles were coming out of the bowl part of said pipe.
"Can't find what, Trimmer?" Dark sighed, who was in a recliner across from the couch and being the closest to Wilford, donning a pair of reading glasses as he looked over papers, most likely bills and plans for their upcoming videos.
"I can't find the word mustache," Bim groused lifting the book toward Dark who just squinted at it. "I've found much more difficult words on here, I should be able to find a word as simple as that. I even found Onomatopoeia!"
"Oh, it's right there, Pally!" Wilford was now suddenly behind Bim, leaning past his right shoulder as he pointed at the book, ignoring as the show host jumped back in surprise, bumping into Engie.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Bim gasped, almost dropping the book reaching up to readjust his glasses as he glared up at Wilford. "Don't do that Wil!"
"Hey, be careful!" Engie snapped keeping the prosthetic leg on the other side away from Bim. "This took me months to make!"
"Sorry," Bim whispered before looking down to see where Wilford was pointing and sure enough it was in the right corner and was spelled backwards. He looked up at Wilford dumbfounded and slightly annoyed. "Oh of course you'd find that word easily!"
"Hey, do you dudes remember the handlebar mustache trend in like 2014?" Bing suddenly and randomly asked, pointing toward Wilford with his thumb. "It kind of looked like Wilford's."
"Oh yeah," Engie gasped setting the leg to the side as he pointed to Bing snapping his fingers. "Where they had it on literally anything?"
"Man, I remember seeing them everywhere," Bim whispered as he circled the word mustache and went to move on to the next one.
"I remember it as well," Stan chuckled as he folded his novel, using his thumb as a bookmark, joining in on the conversation. "I had a Fanny pack with that same mustache on it… and a shirt… and a temporary tattoo of it on my left-."
"TMI Stan," Engie quickly interrupted causing Stan to pause, looking at him in surprise. "We don't need to hear that."
"It was a dare!"
"Still don't want to hear it," Engie sighed before looking back at the others. "But yeah, it was a crazy trend. Though it's died down a lot since then. Not pretty relevant these days."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that, champ," Wilford frowned, twirling his pink mustache as he spoke. "I've had this mustache since the 30s."
"Yeah, mustaches are still pretty hip." Stan agreed, pointing at his own receiving a nod from the pink ego.
"No I know that mustaches are still cool," Engie corrected quickly with a shrug. "I mean that the trend of having it on everything pretty much died down."
"Not with Wilford," Dark interjected with a chuckle, not looking up from his papers as he got the other egos' attention. "You should see Wilford's side of our room. Even has a pink and yellow suit with them."
"Wait 'our room'." Engie suddenly blinked causing Dark to pause finally looking up from his papers. "You two share a room?"
"Yes?" Dark arched an eyebrow as he looked at the confused engineer. "Why wouldn't we?"
"I mean, there are so many rooms here," Engie said still very confused, getting nervous at the look that the dark ego was giving him. "Why not have… separate… rooms?"
"It's because Darky and I are married, sport," Wilford chuckled as he walked up to the side of Dark's recliner, placing a hand on his shoulder, failing to notice the look of surpise on Engie's face the more he spoke. "Now I know you are young and all but surely you know that once you're married you-."
"Wow wait hold up!" Engie interjected waving his hands as he leaned forward, pointing between the two. "You two are married?!"
The room suddenly fell silent, the three other egos looking between Engie and the two married egos, who just looked back at him in shock, though Dark looked more irritated.
"… Yes," Dark drawled, annoyed at how shocked the other looked. "We are."
"But… How did I… When has this been a thing?!" Engie stammered in confusion, looking from them to the others.
"They've been married for years, Engie," Bim answered, slowly closing his book.
"Well, I haven't been around for years!" Engie argued.
"I've been here around the same time, kid," Stan countered, getting Engie's attention. "Even I knew they were together."
"I'm sorry," Dark set his papers forcefully down on the table in front of him, leaning forward, yanking his glasses off his face before pointing at Engie. "You've been living at ego Inc for how long and didn't know that Wil and I were together?"
"I-I don't know! I tried to avoid you the first few months of living here!" Engie exclaimed throwing his arms up in surrender. "You didn't exactly bring out the red carpet for me!"
"To be fair it's all red carpet in the main hall when you first arrive." Wilford chuckled.
"Not to mention you two are pretty… private."
"Just because we don't engage with public display of affection, doesn't mean we aren't together," Dark said causing Engie to press his mouth shut. Dark then glared at him, his aura flaring slightly causing the other to pause. "It's not a problem… is it?"
"No!" Engie snapped shaking his head in worry. "Nonono, not a problem! Just-just threw me for a loop is all!"
"My dude did you really not know?" Bing asked resting a hand on his shoulder. "This isn't a bit or anything?"
"No! Honestly, I didn't!" Engie shrugged Bing's hand off as he glared at him.
"Yan literally calls Dark father and Wilford Papa." Bim squints his eyes at Engie. "You couldn't put two and two together?"
"Literally every older ego adopts the younger ones in this house!" Engie motioned around the area. "How many dads has Eric collected by now!"
"He's got a point," Stan grinned motioning to Engie. "He's even slipped up and called me dad a couple of-."
"Hey, I told you to keep that between us!" Engie snapped his face suddenly turning red.
"Alright, everyone calm down," Dark sighed pinching his nose with a sigh before reaching up and rubbing his head. "Well, you're caught up Engie. Now you know that Wil and I've been together for years."
"I mean, I know I didn't see it before but it makes sense now." Engie shrugged.
Dark blinked at him before squinting his eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm… I'm just saying… considering you and Wil's… history." Engie tried gently, backing up on the couch a bit.
"I'm not sure I quite follow," Dark growled, causing Engie to freeze. "Please elaborate."
"Now Darkipoo, let it go," Wilford tried, resting his hands on both of Dark's shoulders. "There's no reason to get all-."
"Aren't you an amalgamation of Wil's ex and best friend?" Engie questioned, ignoring how Bim sucked air through his teeth looking at Engie in worry for his sake.
"I'm going to kill him this time," Dark growled as he got up, trying to storm toward Engie but Wilford held him back.
"Now Darky we don't want to do that!" Wilford protested, trying to keep Dark from advancing toward Engie, but was being dragged by the dark ego, whose aura started flaring. "He didn't mean anything by it I'm sure!"
"Just seemed like Wil's a little greedy is all?" Engie tried to joke beginning to climb over the couch, but that was the wrong thing to say.
"You're dead, Mark!" Dark snapped finally breaking free of Wilford and heading toward Engie, black tendrils seeping from his back and snapping toward the Engineer, who ducked.
"Shit, I'm sorry!" Engie snapped as he jumped over the couch, dodging tendrils as he ran. "I didn't know it was a touchy subject!"
"Your ignorance will be your death, you idiotic excuse for an engineer!" Dark snapped as he whipped another tendril at Engie causing him to scream. "How's that for touchy!?"
"Don't worry son!" Stan suddenly shouted, throwing the book behind him, and poofed into butterflies, before running after the two egos. "I'll save you!
"Not in front of them!" Engie yelled as he ran past Stan.
"Now, Mr. Darkiplier, how's about we calm down!" Stan tried, but fell on deaf ears as Dark continued to chase Engie. "I know! A nice tall glass of water always calms my nerves. How's about we try that?!"
Wilford sighed his shoulders slumping as he watched Dark chase Engie around the room, leaning on the chair that Stan had occupied, which continued to chase after them with water. He then looked over to Bing who had been staring at him with a grin, causing him to shrug in confusion. "What?"
"Well, your greed does sicken me sometimes, Wil." Bing joked causing Wilford to sigh, rolling his eyes a bit.
"I just wanted help with my word search," Bim grumbled watching as Engie tripped over one of Dark's tendrils before being pulled by one of them by his ankle, wincing when Engie let out a high pitched screamed as he was being dragged away.
I'm glad I'm giving you motivation at least. Dynamics is absolutely killing me rn and I'm getting roasted to hell and back by a peer review for a paper. It can only get better from here I suppose.
Have Simon engage in cannibalism together with Bim /j
(Honestly I can imagine something like that as a (for the character) awful example of how growing up in a kind of cult situation messed Simon up. Like if/when he found the act of itself wouldn't phase him much. He knows there's a stigma to it and he might think less of Bim, but I don't think it would disturb him.)
Love, love, love characterising Bim as an absolute prick. I think it really drives the "doesn't care about social conventions" further to a point of showing that yeah. He just has a general lack of care for human life in general.
Once again he knows it's horrific, but as you say, I think that's why he plays into it.
That being said, I think him trying to piss someone off happens at least semi-frequently.
(I'm sorry English is my second language and I just spent the entire afternoon catching up reading new publications, I'm not very articulate right now. )
Peer reviews are fucking brutal I had to do a few for my classes last semester and I just avoided checking my email for days because the stress was killing me. Here's hoping it's over soon 🤞. Can you share what's the paper on or is that classified lol
Bonding! Eating together can be bonding! Totally won't cause any problems! They'll definitely understand each other more by the end of it at least.
Exactly. I think, if anything, Simon would have a sense of stolen valor. Eden did cannibalism because all habitable planets vanished, what's Bim's excuse? Wouldn't keep him up at night, he'd just think Bim a glutton. Which is... not entirely false.
Hehehe Thank u! The only person Bim seemingly ever canonically cared for was Matthias, conveniently also the person Mark hinted that Google killed. With him dead and Wilford (his superior) also being a killer of his own Bim has no reason to even try to care. His actions don't really have consequences anyway. Except... for what happened with Oliver that is.
Dark (and Google in his absence) have probably had to diffuse many 'disagreements' because of Bim's antics. But hey, what can he do? That's who Wilford chose as his right hand.
No worries! I really hope you can have a break soon.
First a food thing: boil an egg for 6.5 minutes and plunge it into ice water for the perfect soft boiled egg (runny yolk) add some garlic salt and pepper and enjoy a savory version of a fruit gusher!
Now a fandom thing: whenever I'm bored at work I like to imagine Darkiplier as Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec dealing with the other egos as other characters from Parks and Rec. It makes the 10 hour shift go quicker lol
You reminded me I have eggs I can cook yassss I love me a good Egg T^T♥️Thank you for the advice :3
I cannot be trusted with garlic salt lol that stuff is like, cocaine to me XD
And Yes, Dark is 100% that vibe. I dunno much PnR but I saw this screencap and thought of Bim and Dark so-
Thinking real bigly about my Bim Trimmer, and it’s making me want to yap — but at a specific person who Does Not Know Me because my partner talks to said person
-some doodles I totally forgot to post bc I'm a dummy
-Also of they look wonky at all, they are all very quickly like 15 min doodles I do before work or during my break for the most part plus what do you want from me I ain't the best lmao
-Ill eventually have all the egos drawn one day... Trust that we'll get there
