For years I hid behind myself, an empty shell of the girl I used to be, before he did that to me. Underneath I knew there was still a fire but I had no desire to feed it. For years I wanted to die because I felt ruined inside and my mind, so many nights, wouldn’t let me sleep. I walked around tired, unsure what was real and praying that for just one day, I could feel. It was cold inside and even though I tried nothing I did could warm me up. And it took years for me to hear the voice, she said “it’s time” and just like that, I felt the flame and once again my life was mine. And when I realized who I was I started to uncover this gift of love I had to give. It flowed from me like snow melt rushes down a stream and it swept away all the sadness, all the grief. I gave it freely, I gave it because I knew it wasn’t meant for me to keep. This gift was mine but it was meant to be given away and I got to choose to who. And if I chose you, I chose wise because I knew this stream would eventually run dry. I knew I had to give it away to get it back someday, but as I sit here empty again, the tears fill my eyes, I wonder...when?