Heather McNabb: Can I just say - and this is really important so I need everyone to shut up - I love your hair.
Illya Kuryakin: Thank you. It's genetic and unattainable.
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Heather McNabb: Can I just say - and this is really important so I need everyone to shut up - I love your hair.
Illya Kuryakin: Thank you. It's genetic and unattainable.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Gen, 7000 words Heather McNabb, Napoleon Solo, Illya Kuryakin
Heather McNabb's career as an airline hostess comes to an end in much the usual manner: she meets a man. (Two men, really, though not at once, and she wouldn't know it until later—but that's getting ahead of the story.) Or, the Innocents don't always go home at the end of the story.
To tallihensia, who requested this thing, and has been beyond patient with me: I can only guess if the finished product is anything like what you thought you were actually requesting, but thank you once more for the excuse to write it. (Will be matching your charity donation, btw -- it seems the least I can do after making you wait this long.)
To everyone else who might be here for my UNCLE fic: Yes, I have indeed finally gone and written actual gen for this fandom. Though I’m also sure that if you’d like to, you will have no trouble finding a little bit of subtext buried somewhere in this thing. ;) But let’s be honest -- this is still very much Heather’s story.
And to the minority who actually want to hear me ramble still further about my new pet aviation subject: Oh boy, have I got you covered.
An update on that charity auction thing (or, how I spent several months constructing elaborate headcanons about undercover agent air hostesses instead of just writing the damn fic)
Point the first: I still have not written the auction-winner's fic which I owe from way back in January. Her request called for case fic starring one of UNCLE's recurring female cast, such as Sarah Johnson or Heather McNabb, which was all well and good.
The sensible thing for me to do at this point would probably have been to churn out something starring Sarah, who is My Favourite and the much better developed of the two (I've had half-an-idea for something along those lines for ages). Heather (who, for all her established qualifications, mostly seems to be stuck being the girl back at the office who answers the phone) gives you far less to work with character-wise -- so little that the question of how to make a case-fic starring her work at all struck me as a real conundrum.
Unfortunately, I never can resist a good conundrum, and that's the long and short of how I found myself mentally committed to filling out that auction fic the hard way.
I could ramble on about the process here,* but the bottom line is that I've had the thing basically plotted out since around, oh, May or June or so, minus a few key details that remain sticking points (like a rather infuriating innocent-shaped-hole in the story). It was there that it dawned on me that one of the little details I really ought to have pinned down about Heather herself -- at least in my head, whether or not it came up in the story -- was the dangling question of just who her roommate was.
Some context: among the few things we do learn about Heather in her very first appearance is this bit of dialogue from Napoleon:
Napoleon: Oh, no, Heather's been with us almost a year. She used to be a stewardess. She rooms with--
But Waverly cuts him off there, so we never hear who she rooms with -- let alone why Napoleon might thing it worth mentioning to his superior.
Knowing Napoleon, the obvious answer is that Heather rooms with some other attractive young woman he has dated, or would like to date -- perhaps another beautiful UNCLE girl (or stewardess). All the same, I spent some time casting for alternate possibilities before my brain inevitably went, "Well, duh, it's Wanda Townsend from S3 -- the other stewardess-cum-UNCLE-staffer, who very nearly became Heather herself? Who else would it be?"
This would call for a little context from what has become my specialty subject in the land of fandom trivia, the women of UNCLE. See, back before May Heatherly was cast as Heather McNabb, the role very nearly went to an actress called Sharyn Hillyer, who had a small role in the UNCLE pilot as the stewardess on the plane with Napoleon in the final scene (pic on the left below). I'm halfway-convinced that line I just quoted about how Heather used to be a stewardess could very well be an artifact leftover from when Hillyer was in the lead for the role, by way of explaining to the audience why a woman we'd last seen playing a stewardess was suddenly working for UNCLE as of episode 2 (it's certainly more interesting than to assume the writers were simply going "how can we make this sexy woman even MORE sexy to our straight-male-target-audience?" -- which it might still be, but I digress).
Hillyer's story on UNCLE doesn't end there, however, because she was eventually cast as a recurring UNCLE girl (the affore-mentioned Wanda Townsend) starting with The Indian Affairs Affair at the end of S2. But by Indian Affairs, Hillyer was actually making her third appearance in the show -- just 4 episodes previously, she'd appeared as another stewardess in The Project Deephole Affair (pic on the right above).
I’ve already posted the link to The Curious Nature of Felines, but I couldn’t resist adding a few illustrative gifs to go with it. (Heather and her dachshund don’t really get more than namechecked in the story, but I couldn’t not include such a perfect girl-chilling-with-her-daemon scene.)
Bonus gif: totally how the fic was always going to have to end.
UNCLE characters with cats and dogs: A Summary
So, to summarise various previous posts (and to throw in a few new gifs while I’m at it): One of the weirder running themes that UNCLE is actually surprisingly consistent on is that none of our heroes are any good with dogs. About half the gifs above come from just one episode The Bow Wow Affair, where Illya is intimidated by a perfectly obedient Great Dane, chased by angry dobermans, confused by a small, white fluffball, and finally treed by some more dobermans, having narrowly avoided another pack of guard dogs earlier in the evening. Faced with the same tame, obedient Great Dane Illya met earlier, Napoleon and Waverly aren’t much more use.
But it’s not just The Bow Wow Affair. In The Finny Foot Affair, Napoleon attempts to use a dog to get rid of an enemy tracking device, only to have the dog follow him anyway. In The Monks of St. Thomas Affair, Napoleon is floored by a pack of excited but otherwise harmless St. Bernards. In The Apple A Day Affair, he’s chased up a tree by a pack of hounds, only to see the episode’s innocent easily shoo them all away moments later. Illya is treed by another dog in The Deadly Toys Affair, and in The Bridge of Lions Affair, he winds up dangling from a windowsill thanks to yet another excited dog giving him trouble. You’d think running into the occasional irate guard dog would be all part of the business, but Napoleon and Illya’s luck with the domestic pooch looks pretty bad even by those standards.
Pst: Napoleon canonically likes “the feline type”, pass it on.
Just another little detail fans of cat!Illya might appreciate.
Given how the men of UNCLE canonically tend to deal with dogs, I love how so many of the women of UNCLE are clearly dog people. Just leave the animal-handling to the women, guys.
Heather McNabb Appreciation Post
Don’t mind McNabb’s bite, it’s her bark you have to watch out for
She only appeared in a handful of episodes, and she never had a lot to do, but I did like what she and others like her brought to the series -- U.N.C.L.E. the organisation felt that much bigger with recurring characters other than our main three. Mr. Waverly doesn’t actually appear at all in 2 of her 4 episodes (Neptune and Green Opal), and in his absence, it’s Heather who helps formulate plans and takes up the role of Napoleon’s key contact. There are even a few original press releases that suggest she was once intended to play a much more significant ongoing role. If she was there mostly to look pretty and flirt with Napoleon, the writers still consistently portrayed her as a competent professional (not even the many random hobbies she indulges while manning the communications desk ever put a dent in that), and her coworkers treated her as one, and I appreciated that a hell of a lot.
(More on Heather’s actress and her character here, in my master-post on the subject of UNCLE’s female staff)