Discover Top Posts Tagged with #heavy thinking

Mood 🚬 !.

#Thoughts #Heavy thinking #downfall #downfalldestiny #Cigarette #life #Test

#kissin on my neck uh n i feel ur fangs...#im fucked up #put myself to sleep so you're back at being just a dream #heavy thinking

what if i made a mega thread of all my character playlists..

#thinking ab it #heavy thinking #people liked my kian one so why not #cbn.txt

what moment????????///

ok idk who you are so im not sure how to react to this ask but. its just im overall thinking abt my life situation/drinking and wanting to talk to someone who really relates. yk how it is

#and mine is #mostly unsocial lowkey alcoholic never been employed at 20 but trying to eventually make it in IT/technology #this isnt rly abt kmsing tonight just #heavy thinking #oh also i cant download any dating apps but ive been wanting to join again 😔#its just that random social mood yk yk

Just musing out loud here about fics and motivation and PaK, don’t mind me.

There’s something so very comforting about having chapters done and waiting in the wings for a fic, cause then it doesn’t depend on how you’re feeling when you want to update, and if you’re burnt out or not because you already have chapter(s) there!

Maybe the reason I’m faltering so much with PaK is because I don’t really have chapters already done ahead of normal posting time. For TLD and TBW, and even Trial and Error, all of those I had like nine chapters written before I even started posting the fics. The updates still caught up to me in the end, but I had a lot of lead way to work with. I don’t really have that for PaK, because it was originally a silly one shot I wrote up on a whim one night, and decided to continue it and eventually grew a big plot for it. I’m not often writing a few chapters ahead like I feel like I should be, and I don’t like writing the next chapter and posting it and then having the NEXT chapter not even finished.

Maybe I’m just too used to the year and a half worth of writing I spent with TLD and TBW, and how prepared I was for those fics. I like to have that kind of control with the fic, and maybe that’s what’s throwing me out with PaK, not having that control, and because the chapters tend to take me longer to write than they did with the other fics (something about Yugi and Yami’s dynamic in this fic takes me longer to write than previous ones I dunno), I struggle to get ahead that far. But maybe I shouldn’t be worrying so hard about getting that far ahead for this fic. Maybe that’s what’s got me so down all the time, like it’s contributing to me thinking I’m not as good or something? I think comparing my fics by my work process while making them is something I should work on not being so harsh on myself with. Different things take different amounts of time. Fic writing is no different, nor is writing in general. I just wanted to write a story where Yami/Atem had cool shadow powers, and that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

#ashes ramblings #ive been thinking about this a lot recently #heavy thinking #thinking out loud here dont mind meeeee #about time i got some solid thoughts down about PaK tho #its one thing to whine off hand to a friend about it #but ive been meaning to get something solid down to ground myself

Well, I’ve Done It...

I have come to terms with my own mortality.

It doesn’t seem like much, but really taking a step back and realizing that “yeah, I’m going to be dead some day. I’m going to just close my eyes and never open them again, and I have no cue when it will be,” is kind of a big thing for me.

I don’t know if everyone else realizes how fleeting their time here is, but I find that it is kind of calming; the sensation that any day could be my last, and there is little I can do to prevent it (especially with the genetic hand that I’ve been dealt in life).

No, I’m not looking forward to death, and I’m sure as hell not going to rush it. And who knows, the 2045 Initiative and cryogenic preservation are making leaps and bounds, so maybe I could live forever.

But that’s not likely.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I realize that death is (for all intents and purposes) a certainty, but that does not make it something to be feared. At the same time, it should not be welcomed too lightly.

All in all, I really don’t know what to do with this knowledge, but I’m posting it here, so that maybe someone who is scared of death and the unknown will find comfort in it if they can.

#death #mortality #deep thoughts #heavy thinking #thoughts on death #realization #fear of death #fear of the unknown

I thought...

When I graduated high school I thought I had something going for me . I had got accepted into a few universities, and I got to pick one that I wanted to go to . I was excited to go away to school. I was ready to embark on a fun life changing four year journey. I thought by leaving my parents house I would be so happy. I quit college because I became depressed and school was something I did not enjoy. I failed most of my classes. There were days I stayed in the bed in the dark alone all day without speaking to any of my new friends. The school year ended and I decided not to return come September. Telling everyone I would return next year knowing that was probably a lie. I wanted to work, possibly move, and enjoy what I was doing. A year has passed, I have a job and I have a girlfriend. But I'm still not happy. Life has hit me so hard. I thought I was better than what I actually am. I thought I would be better. Now I'm here thinking about joining the military because everything else has failed. I'm at the point where I feel like I'm just signing my life away because I don't care what happens to me.

#late night thoughts #random #heavy thinking #me #story time #💭

Self Reflection

I honestly feel my friends don't understand how far and willing to go to give up anything to help them, because I adore them. Not that anyone cares, or anything.

#self reflection #heavy thinking #in my feelings #under appreciated