Just having a random thought that Hector would move and "accidently" brush his body to Charlie's when he walked pass him like a cat. Or rubbing his arms with his hands to gain attention. Or his hips :)
Hector takes a deep breath as he gets into the cat cafe, a mixture of freshly brewed coffee and the subtle hint of air freshener fills his nostril and he subconsciously associates it with comfort. There, behind the counter, stands a man who has barged in and stolen Munday’s heart from his fortress. Charlie looks up to him and smiles at him brightly, Hector tries to smile back but thinly, he still feels awkward doing it and maybe his facial muscles haven’t been trained enough to convey expressions, too stiff. As he approaches closer, he sees Charlie is tending a familiar gray cat, Connie, which Hector remembers the cat can get a lot of zoomies, even at noon.
“Hello, Hector!” Charlie greets him happily with his voice as his hands are occupied with dressing the cat with a suit. Upon seeing Hector tilts his head as he looks intently at the cat, Charlie adds, “Connie will be adopted soon by a family. They came up here last weekend and their daughter couldn’t let him go.” Charlie smiles happily and by the look of it, Hector is sure Charlie has done everything to ensure he’ll be treated kindly.
The cat scratches his neck with his hind leg, making the tie become unraveled. Charlie only sighs heavily and ends up undressing the cat, letting Connie to only wear his collar. So, kids still visit this place every weekend, huh? No matter how much he wants to see Charlie, he can’t stand children getting all noisy and grabbing things with their clammy hands. He visited the cafe once, he couldn’t work and Charlie didn’t even have time to spend with him. It’s undesirable but if an important thing might happen to Charlie on the weekends, Hector considers to stop by and buy a coffee for a take away just to check up on him. Nothing too suspicious that way, right?
“You can get cats here?” While it sounds weird, Hector chooses simple phrases to sign so Charlie would understand.
"Yes, absolutely. We've had several successful adoptions from here. Although not that much.” Charlie nods and pets the cat again, looks like he can’t dress him for a photoshoot but oh well, the white patches on Connie’s neck and chest makes him look like he is wearing a gray tuxedo anyway. “He is more like a dog than a cat, really. Not a lap cat but looks like it always depends on who will accept him the way he is, isn’t it? I mean, we'll miss him here, but knowing he'll have a loving family is what we strive for.”The barista lets the cat hops down to the floor and washes his hand and signs to Hector, “Coffee?”
Hector simply nods and points on the menu, Tuna Pastry in a cat shape. The tech worker sits on his usual spot and sets up his laptop and monitor. Charlie- He adds a note on his notepad to add an adoption page on his prototype, along with the cats’ profiles. Maybe that way people would be more interested in adopting them. In his mind, Hector flinches, suddenly remembering his time in the orphanage. He was a peculiar child, covered in bruises and cuts, couldn’t speak and was expressionless. He was aware that his silence set him apart, making him the weird kid in the orphanage. Some tried to approach him, both the children and adults but even if he could speak he saw no importance to interacting with them. Interacting with other people is the first step to get hurt and Hector has known it all along.
While he kept his interaction to a minimum, he was always observant in the orphanage. He noticed how the other children feel sadness, loneliness, and a sense of abandonment due to the absence of their biological parents. As a light sleeper, he often woke up from a sniffled cry under his bunk bed. Every time the visitors came up to the orphanage, some of the children wished to be adopted and be the best in their behavior, some assumed they were a lost cause and didn’t expect anything. To Hector it was a mixed feeling. Aside from wanting privacy so he didn’t have to share his personal space with others, he didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t want to stay in the orphanage but he didn’t want to get adopted. He wanted to stay with his mother but at the same time he was afraid of her and now she was dead. The Edwards who snitched his mother wanted to adopt him but the idea of being with them made him think he also betrayed her. He wanted to run away but he had nowhere to go. Even if he didn’t want to be adopted, he didn’t realize he still has a longing for something he has never truly experienced—a place to call home, of feeling accepted.
Charlie, with his boundless energy and enthusiasm, unintentionally disrupted Hector's reflective moment by placing his orders on the table. As he sets down the coffee cups and pastries, he notices the distant look in Hector's eyes.
"Hey, Hector," his fingers move uncertainly but his expression is filled with genuine care, "You okay? You look a little... off. Are you feeling sick?"
Hector, still carrying the weight of his memories and the emotions they stir, hesitates for a moment. He appreciates Charlie's concern but isn't quite ready to reveal the depths of his past just yet. Still not looking at Charlie, he shakes his head, “I just need coffee,” Hector smiles thinly. Why does Charlie look so worried? Hector brushes any assumption in his head and decides to change the subject, “Have you told your boss about the website prototype?”
“Oh yes, I have, she loves the idea of it! I told her that people these days love to surf the internet before they go to places. Having a website will make it so much easier for cat lovers to find us, yes?” Charlie’s beaming smile once again pushes the gray clouds in Hector’s mind, even just for a while, Hector is relieved. “She also thinks it can be wise to invest in this.”
Hector nods and then types, “I can add an adoption page for the cats, so we can get purrfect homes for them.”
Charlie lets out a surprised laugh, unexpectedly, especially when Hector wrote it with such a flat expression. “I agree. Oh, and maybe we can add profiles to them, y’know like Tinder? and of course the captions will be full of cat puns. Our cook here is good with witty puns as well.”
Hector nods again, they are thinking the same thing, good. "I was thinking maybe we could add a section for customer reviews," Hector suggests, his eyes flickering to Charlie's for a brief moment before returning to the laptop. For practical reasons, Charlie, who usually sits in front of him, now takes a seat beside Hector so he can see the monitor better. He shifts his fake tail and puts it on his lap so it will be more comfortable when he sits. Hector finds it cute to the point he grips his own knees to restrain himself.
Charlie clears his throat, his fingers reaching up to adjust the red-framed glasses perched on his nose. "That sounds like a good idea. We do get a lot of positive feedback."
Hector's lips curl into a small smile as he nods. "What about a blog section where you can share stories about the cats and any events happening at the café?"
Charlie's brows furrow slightly as he leaned in to get a closer look at the screen, their shoulders brush slightly. "Yes, that can be fun. People love reading about cats and Jamie has suggested that we can hold an event like movie night with cats."
Hector's heart races with every word they exchange, he steals a quick glance at Charlie from his monitor, only to find Charlie's gaze already on him. Their eyes lock, and for a moment, the rest of the café seems to fade away, leaving just the two of them in their own world.
"So, what do you think of the layout?" Hector turns his gaze to the monitor, suddenly feels embarrassed and he praises to God his fingers are still steady enough to not make a typo, a stark contrast to the nervous fluttering in his chest.
The barista blinks as if he is also entranced by the fleeting moment they had seconds ago. “It’s good, I mean, you've really outdone yourself. Marge will fall in love when she sees this and maybe Jamie has some ideas too. Is it possible if you can present it to us?"
Hector’s body tense imperceptibly, the thought of communicating face-to-face with a lot of people he doesn’t know, makes his heart race again but not in a good way like before. “You know I can’t speak.”
“Ah, yes, of course.. I mean, is there something I can help to accommodate you?” Charlie looks up to him worriedly.
Hector frowns, nobody has ever said that to him, “Just tell them I have a condition and I will mostly type what I want to explain.”
“I will and don’t worry, I bet they can understand it.” Charlie nods reassuringly and awkwardly pats Hector’s shoulder, “Can I have your email or number? So we can… communicate better?”
Hector sighs, trying to calm himself and takes Charlie’s phone to call his number, that way he also can have Charlie’s.
“Thank you!” Charlie signs, then goes back to his voice, “You can tell me when you are ready to present it to us, so no pressure, really!”
Hector only nods and smiles thinly. As Charlie goes back to the bar the gray cloud comes back again, now with thunder and storm. Hector exhales heavily, once again not realizing he has been holding his breath and tries to relax his shoulders, but it doesn’t work. He can feel his breath getting heavier as if the air becomes denser, each inhale feeling shallow and inadequate. His chest tightens, making it even harder to breathe. His body tenses, his muscles coiling in response to the stress that coursed through him. He wants to escape, to retreat to the comforting cocoon of his own solitude in his apartment, but the wave of anxiety keeps him rooted in his seat, like he is frozen. Hector glances around the cafe, his eyes darting from one person to another. Charlie is speaking to the cook through a small window between the bar and the kitchen, the other visitors are playing with the cats and another one is reading a book. No one is paying attention to him but he feels like he is under the spotlight. Contrast to his inner turmoil, his exterior looks so calm, maybe just like someone who is concentrating on his laptop. Meanwhile, His thoughts spin in chaotic circles, fueled by irrational fears of judgment and embarrassment.
The memories of his school days flood his mind. Hector remembers the times when he had stood in front of his classmates, unable to utter a single word to present his science experiment. He was looking everywhere except his classmate’s staring eyes. He had been working on the volcano soda for days, making sure everything was perfect with a little to none source he had. All eyes were directed to him, feeling the heavy gazes, silently judging him. This happened before her mother's death, where he still dared to speak, only to his mother, but even then he couldn’t find his voice in front of a lot of people. If he made a mistake they would make fun of him, if he spoke they would ask questions or realize he didn’t use red paint but the beet he stole instead since he couldn’t ask her mother to buy paint.
His teacher's frustrated sighs and the mocking nicknames his peers had bestowed upon him still echoed in his mind. He ended up beating the other kids so at least they could understand what his fists could do. The mockery stopped but he could still feel the judging stare on his back. His teacher finally accepted that he wouldn’t utter any word and as long as his scores were good, they couldn’t care any less. Hector felt like an outcast, an oddity in a world where speaking was expected, and his inability to do so marked him as different. Hector's hands begin to tremble, his body is in pain and he struggles to maintain his composure, now his elbow is put on the table, his hand holding his forehead, the other hand grips into a fist so it stops trembling. His heart races, each beat like a drum pounding out his fear. He feels a cold sweat forming on his brow, making his hand wet. He needs to calm down, just calm down, damnit!
As Hector's anxiety threatens to consume him, he feels a slight nudge on his thigh. He opens his eyes and finds Charlizard is butting his head then deliberately sitting on his lap. The cat’s weight is both grounding and comforting, along with its warmth. Hector sighs heavily, his body is still tense but he tries to take control of his hand and puts it on the cat’s head, just to feel its soft fur. The orange cat closes his eyes and begins to purr when Hector rubs the back of its ear. Gradually, Hector's focus shifts from the overwhelming noise in his mind to the calming presence of the cat. The repetitive motion of its purring seems to create a sense of rhythm in his body, guiding his breathing to a slower and steadier pace. The grip in his chest slowly begins to loosen and he can feel the oxygen surges to his body again. Now he can hear the low thrumming of the coffee machine, the background music of slow piano and the chattering from the other table. Hector leans his back against the sofa and tries to relax as he comes back to his sense.
Hector continues to pet Charlizard on his lap, the weight of his earlier distress has lifted, but there’s a sense of extreme exhaustion in his body, as if he had run a marathon. Munday looks at his food and drink on the table, the aftermath makes him lose his appetite and decides to just take the food for take away. He glances back to his laptop and finds it’s already in sleeping mode. His anxiety attack might happen just for minutes but it feels like eternity to Hector. His body aches with the aftermath of the adrenaline surge, and he wishes he can just close his eyes and rest.
He forces himself to work but it’s hard for him to concentrate, like his head is still under the water. The coffee, which is his magical elixir, doesn’t even help. After a couple of moments, he shakes his head and realizes he can’t get anything done. He tidies up his things, pets the cat on his lap -who claws his pants as if wishing he won’t leave- and manages to walk to the counter.
“You really look sick,” The barista frowns, “Is there something I could help?”
Hector shakes his head and puts his card on the table to pay. As Charlie types his bill, he feels a cat rubbing his legs. The sight of Charlizard sends a soothing wave to his mind. Hector can’t help but feel a connection with the cat that had comforted him during his anxiety attack. Its presence has provided him with calmness and a sense of security in that vulnerable moment. As he looks at the cat, he imagines how wonderful it would be to have such a calming presence in his own apartment. Munday takes the cat and puts him on the table, “Can I adopt him?”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t,” Charlie smiles apologetically and awkwardly adjusts his glasses. “Charlizard is my family’s cat and he is bonded with Mr. Holmes here.”
Hector only sighs and continues to pet the cat, rubbing his throat and feels the gentle vibration of his purr. If only he could adopt the three of them…
“He likes everyone but I think you are his favorite. But there are any other cats, you know? I’m sure they would love to be your companion,”
Hector shakes his head again, he rarely wants something but when he does, he can’t rest until he gets it. “Why is he not with your family in C-o-r-n-w-a-l-l?”
“The flight is expensive and you know…,” Charlie switches back to vocalize his words. “I need some part of my family with me. Just so it will be less lonely.”
Hector tilts his head curiously, Charlie is so full of energy and talkative, he looks like he can befriend everyone he wants, and yet he still needs a presence of non-human. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to separate you from your cat.” then, quickly he adds with an awkward smile, “It just mean I need to visit here more often,”
“And I like it when you come here,” as Charlie hands back his card, “Hector, I don’t mean to intrude you but is there something I can help?”
Hector’s body becomes tense again, Charlie probably has seen him in his vulnerable moment, maybe he is realizing there’s something wrong with him. In those moments of intense anxiety, he feels like his inner struggles were on display for the world to see, even though he tries his best to control his expression. Hell, he didn’t even cry back then but Charlie still notices it. Now, in the aftermath, he feels exposed in a different way, as if the raw nerves of his emotions were laid bare. He feels weak. “I’m fine,”
“ Oh, Hector, I can call the cab, if you want? I see you come here by walking from the sidewalk. So maybe you don’t live that far? or... take the bus? I mean–”
Hector only shakes his head and turns his back to the door, by not looking at Charlie he can’t see what he signs since it feels too much. He doesn’t like it when other people interfere with his well-being. They don’t know better, the first time he let someone help him, they took away his mother.
“Tell me if you’re already home!” Hector can’t hear another word from Charles as he closes the door. The cold wind of October meets him, a stark contrast from the warmth of the cafe. The bustling city around him irks him and he fishes his earphone to play some comforting tunes. Hector knows he needs this time alone to recuperate, to gather his thoughts, and to rest. It is a battle he has fought many times before, but it never got easier. As he enters his apartment, he feels a sense of relief wash over him. A place where he can be himself without the fear of judgment or the pressure to speak. He immediately lays his body on the bed, letting his bag just sprawled on the floor, where it’s usually inside of his cupboard.
Hector closes his eyes, unbuttons the top of his shirt and takes a few more deep breaths, trying to clear his mind of the residual anxiety. He knows he needs to rest, both physically and mentally, to regain his composure. He’ll be fine, he hopes. Late at night he will wake up and do his work, he’ll work better that way. And as he lay down on his comfortable bed, he remembers he needs to text Charlie but he can’t find the energy to do so. Damn, that cafe makes him feel so many things, even brings back so many memories he wishes he could just buried deep in the center of the earth. But for now, in the quiet of his apartment, the sleep slowly kidnaps him from the racing thoughts in his head. A small mercy.
