“I only got to know how terrible my past moments were when they became long gone behind me. And I can tell, that was never a place to be. I told myself I was done searching for love in all the wrong places. I just wanted peace. Rest was all I asked.
Emotional trauma broke me. Absolutely, I was pained that I had to go through it many times. Too pained! I just got tired of basically everything. So, rather than searching for love, I wanted to be searched for. Instead of apologizing and putting up with “not being good enough”, I just wanted to be appreciated. And rather than “chasing”, I wanted to be chased. Then, it became so real to me that it matters who said “I love you” first.
And all along while I sulked, little did I know that Abba was waiting. He took me as far back as when He started loving me—a time when I didn’t even know He existed. He rubbed it on my face that He was the first to say “I love you”. The first to chase me. The first to come for me. The first to search for me. He loved me so proactively! And that was I needed: to live in the reality that He’s the One who gave everything for me, and He did it first. I found my healing.”
Narration&muse: @sewaowoeye
📸: @sewaowoeye
