#hellsing humor

[moraledk]

Because you know vampires shop at Khols

@harmonious-luminary

[moraledk]

Me: But I mean Alucard is a slut too

Hunter: Yeah, but he was a slut for money tho so like...

[moraledk]

Arthur's real cause of death= THE SUCC

@twiggenstein

[moraledk]

Jon: Will Alucard be looking down on you?

Jenna: Don't you mean looking up at you?

Me: JEN WHAT THE FUCK

[moraledk]

Bringing home Seras

Alucard: Hey check out this baby I found, you guys love these things so I said why not

Integra: Alucard that is not a baby and- wait is she covered in blood!? Did you just kidnap someone and-

Alucard: I go out and slave over a hot gun to find you this perfectly, not half eaten baby and this is how I'm treated

[moraledk]

JON JUST HACKED HELLSING

Jon: Father Anderson......oh like father-and-her-son...like part of the holy trinity

Me:.....ah.....hmmm.....I actually...well...wow...I never

Jen: You gotta be fucking-

[moraledk]

You know that one friend that is losing so bad at Mario Party that their sole objective is to fuck up everybody else? Alucard is that friend. He was so salty that he legit made himself a vampire, this motherfucker was supposed to die and said No. He is the one that takes your coins away right as you're about to get an opportunity to buy a star. He will also make sure you lose your stars, be he does not want them for himself, all he wants is for everybody to be bogged down so bad that they have nothing. There's no way he's going to win, but he'll make damn sure that you don't either. Alucard became a vampire for the sole purpose of fucking you as he is already fucked.

Explaining Alucard’s Vampirism to @ask-skylark

[moraledk]

Integra "Wife Material" Hellsing