#help 911

[darkeskye]

Sylus: speedo

Me: chokes on saltwater. flatlines.

[breecita]

what

ok if they’re gonna try to kill twitter I will attempt to do this again, but please be gentle for I am an old and the youths are too powerful. your witchy ways overwhelm me!

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

911 Operator: 911, what is the address of your emergency?

Me: Send a hearse.

Operator: You mean an ambulance?

Me: No, I'm already dead.

Operator: I don't understand - is someone hurt?

Me: Hang on a sec - *texts the picture to 911*

Operator: Rest in Peace, Ma'am, the hearse is on the way.

[ato-dato]

I'm currently working on a rough sketch of a comic that's going to involve molly a lot and I just noticed that I don't? Know how Irish ppl talk???

[ichikv]

—  ♡  —     ❛ hoy me he casado más de tres veces. ❜

❛ ¿t-tre-tres? ❜ bate pestañas con lentitud, esperando el instante en el que hermana pequeña aclare aquello como una broma. ❛ ¿esas cosas no son reales, no?  ❜       /     @imokimi

[moonrollmeawayx]

I have heartburn worse than I’ve ever had in my life

[ohdearleah]

My tummy hurts