#hemochella

[13hemoglobin]

Tomorrow is Father's Day (in the USA) so I absolutely had to make a playlist for The Most Important Dad In The Terror, Aja. I miss my Dad who passed away a little over six years ago, so a lot of my thoughts of Aja is inspired by my own Dad. I also imagine this playlist is a mix of what Aja listened to and what Silna listens to when she wants to remember him and cry a little.

@cold-boy-tapes

Tracklist under the cut

Religious Man by Jorge Castil

Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root

Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

September by Earth, Wind & Fire

Everyday People by Sly & The Family Stone

Lovely Day by Bill Withers

Make Your Own Kind of Music by Cass Elliot

Arctic Fox by Jenny Raisanen

Northern Lights by The Jerry Cans

Qimmijuat (Wild Horses) by Elisapie

Chimacum Rain by Linda Perhacs

My All To You by Beatrice Deer

Vincent by Don Mclean

[13hemoglobin]

happy @cold-boy-tapes kick-off day! thank you @bell-swamp-fitzjames for putting on the cold boy event of the summer!

above is the link to my spotify playlist for Modern Day Edward Little's gym session. This is sort of like if a music playlist could be horny. Tracklist and write-up below the cut.

This is a very specific flavor of Edward Little who visits the gym. At first I thought I would make a sludge metal or nu metal or rap metal playlist for his gym workouts. The idea was he's sad guy but he still lifts weights.

However, awhile ago I was talking with @werewolfsone about what I think Ed would be like at the gym. Between difficult sets I have a habit of just sort of staring off into space and dissociating, completely empty-headed. I thought Ed might also be prone to gym dissociation. Mack thought that maybe Ed might enjoy being a gym himbo (thembo? bimbo?) and I really love that idea. So here is the playlist for an Ed Little who isn't sad at the gym, because he's getting horny at the idea that his gym dissociation is making him dumber.

Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls - This one is a lot slower and calmer but still sexy. Great song to start stretching and warming up to.

I've Seen Footage by Death Grips - I personally go right to cardio after my warmup (I don't know if that's correct. I don't actually know how to work out.) But this is really fun and can help motivate when you have to move quick.

Where's Your Head At by BasementJaxx - not sexy yet but I think that Ed might like the high bpm. Also kind of hypnotic....

JOYRIDE by Kesha - High bpm and to me this is a pervert song. Probably because I saw a fanedit of Crash (1996) set to this song.

Bathroom Bitch by HOLYCHILD - Very fun song to lift weights to. Very horny. The line "I wanna drip it from my ass to the floor" is one of the horniest lines in music ever written I think.

Girl, so confusing by CharliXCX - CharliXCX is gay guy music to me. It's like catnip to gayboys. The bass on this is also really yummy. A few tracks on this playlist are more thembo Ed to me, and this is one of them.

Satisfaction by Benny Benassi, The Biz - you aren't allowed to work out if you don't listen to this song. Your work out actually doesn't count if you don't listen to Satisfaction.

Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica - Ed is kind of the emo boy in this situation.

Vacation Bible School by Ayesha Erotica - Have you thought of femboy4femboy edving? I have.

Girls in Bikinis by Poppy - You can imagine Ed imagining girls in bikinis or you can imagine Ed wearing a bikini. I think they're both correct. "I wanna see boys in bikinis too, they'd look good on you."

Final Girl by Graveyardguy, Slayyyter - This is a fun song and also a cool pervert song for individuals who enjoy Perpetrator/victim-type roleplays.

Slumber Party (feat. Princess Nokia) by Ashnikko, Princess Nokia - this is yuri joplittle to me.

Boys by CharliXCX - This song is so adorable and fun and cute. You don't even have to be attracted to men to like this song. The workout has ended so you can imagine Ed is laying on the floor with a medicine ball nearby him, all of the anxiety has been wrung out of his body through the help of lifting heavy and listening to gay guy music while fantasizing about dumbification.

Happy Summer!

[13hemoglobin]

for day 4 of @cold-boy-tapes I decided to do Ethel Cain for Terror characters. I know @empirenowmp3 did unreleased Ethel Cain for Terror characters so please check that one out as well and feast your eyes on the incredible graphic OP made.

tracklist and associated characters under the cut

American Teenager for Solomon Tozer

"The neighbor's brother came home in a box/ But he wanted to go so maybe it was his fault/ Another red heart taken by the American dream."

"Say what you want, but say it like you mean it/ With your fists for once, a long cold war/ With your kids in the front."

Fuck Me Eyes for James Fitzjames

"Her daddy keeps her in a box, but it's no good/ The boys can't get enough of her and her 'honey, fuck me eyes."

"Pretty baby with the miles, and when she leaves/ They never see her wiping her 'fuck me' eyes."

"They wanna take her out/ But no one wants to take her home."

Dust Bowl for Sophia Cracroft

"Natural blood-stained blond/ With the holes in his sneakers/ And his eyes all over me/ Drive-in slasher flick again/ Feeling me up as a porn star dies/ He's watching me instead/ Eighth grade death-pact strike me dead."

Strangers for Billy Gibson

"Freezer bride, your sweet divine/ You devour like smoked bovine hide/ How funny, I never considered myself tough."

August Underground for Cornelius Hickey

ambient

Hard Times for Cornelius Hickey

"I thought that good guys get to be happy/ I'm not happy/ I am poison in the water and unhappy."

"I was too young to notice/ That some types of love could be bad/ Praying I'd be like you/ Doing all of the things that you do/ And I still do/ And that scares me."

Housofpsychoticwomn for Thomas Jopson

"But maybe it lied (I love you) Maybe it was all a lie (I love you) I've tried so hard to explain in words what it meant to me (I love you) How it felt to me (I love you) But maybe it's not meant to be explained (I love you) Maybe it's not meant to be marked down in words (I love you) Or scrawled out on a piece of paper (I love you) Until then, I guess I'll just lie here and wait (I love you, I love you)"

Morning Elvis for Francis Crozier

"And after every tour, I swear I'll quit It's over boys, now this is it But the call, it always comes And it sounds like children Begging to be born But, oh, I guess I got my wish Anything, anything, anything but this"

"Oh, you know I'm still afraid I'm still crazy and I'm still scared But if I make it to the stage I'll show you what it means

To be spared,"

Head in the Wall for Billy Gibson

"Sometimes you make me want to put my fucking head through the wall/ Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all."

Televangelism for John Irving

ambient

[13hemoglobin]

ive been really stressed out so ive been mentally squeezing they/them tozer like a stress ball and i am so happy that @bell-swamp-fitzjames is just as much in love with them as much as i am. and cig's new fanfic So You Had A Bad Day has been like a chew toy for me.

Tracklist and more they/them Tozer thoughts under the cut

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol

Perfect (Exceeder) by Cowboy Hunters

BOOGIE by Brockhampton

Gas Pedal by Babe Heaven

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Ugly Cherries by PWR BTTM

Head Like A Hole by Nine Inch Nails

GIRLS by The Dare

Smack My Bitch Up by The Prodigy

Me And The Girls by Amyl and the Sniffers

Give It To Me by The Northern Boys

Loud Bark by Mannequin Pussy

Sofia Coppola by Susannah Joffe

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge

Psychic Wound by King Woman

Pepper by The Butthole Surfers

I Wish I Was A Riot Grrl by Destructo Disk

Fuck The Pain Away by Peaches

They/Them/Theirs by Worriers

Maggot by Slutever

Queer by Garbage

Destroyed by Hippie Powers by Car Seat Headrest

Jason by BONNIE PARKER

Detachable Penis by King Missile

Miserable America by Kevin Abstract

*

note: I'm still using they/them Tozer as my chew toy so I may continue to rearrange the order of these songs or may add more as I continue messing with the playlist.

second note: the flag behind Tozer on the playlist picture is the non-binary transfemme flag

*

Cig wrote about Tozer possibly being a firefighter or paramedic in their fic and I wrote Tozer being a corps member in my fic, wherein both of these Tozers are non-binary somewhat/somehow. It's so perfect, because when I envision non-binary Tozer I imagine them a lot like (but not exactly like) my first partner that I had.

I met them in the corps and they had to hide their queerness because of the nature of working in the corps. They worked as a firefighter and then later as a paramedic. My partner also really liked 15 Minutes by Mike Krol and BOOGIE by Brockhampton so I put them in the playlist as homage.

I imagine Sol as the kind of person who would have to hide their queerness while working in the Marines or Navy, or whatever institution that they had to work in. I knew a lot of people in the corps who were closeted and didn't come out until they left. And maybe it's because they didn't realize or maybe it was because they were compelled to stay in the closet. I was one of them.

Now, I imagine that Sol's life is much better. They are no longer worried to tears about being outed and can live happily and out of the closet. They have queer friends. They do their nails and have all sorts of clothes to wear. Sometimes they let their beard grow out, sometimes they are clean shaven. They like perfumes that are usually marketed to women. Boots that are usually marketed to men. Clothes that are marketed to women. They like working on cars and going to the gym and going to petting zoos and dancing at clubs and kissing all sorts of people. They have an appointment set up to go on estrogen that they're scared and excited about. The people that they were the most scared to come out to are their biggest supporters.

This playlist isn't really meant to be ABOUT Tozer, it's just what they like to listen to. I tried to make it a mix of riot grrl, hardcore, metal, grunge, lesbian anthems, and sad gayboy music.

[13hemoglobin]

graves in the arctic is my prompt fill for @cold-boy-tapes today which i think can kind of fit both canon ambient and natural phenomena. i think graves can be natural phenomena. humans everywhere and through all time want to honor those who have passed.

tracklist and thoughts under the cut

Dreams by Kelsey Lu

-"Feels like I've got the holy ghost..."

-Jacob Anderson actually put this in one of his official Louis de Pointe du Lac playlists. But it's haunting from start to finish. The inability to escape the past and the way that grief can kind of feel like reality bending. Like you're out of place.

500 miles by Peter, Paul, and Mary

"Lord, I'm one. Lord, I'm two. Lord, I'm three. Lord, I'm four. Lord, I'm five hundred miles from my home."

I love this song. Love Peter, Paul, and Mary. This is the song they should be known for, not Puff the Magic Dragon (imho). If I ever make a playlist in honor of the Dyatlov Group who endured the attempted Dyatlov Pass, this would be the first song I put on it.

The In Between by Shelley Burgon

-ambient

-This one was on Dave's sophylist. It's so beautiful, I really love harp. One winter I was so depressed I didn't do anything but lay in bed and listen to harp and it did sort of fix me.

Phantom of my Organ by Slowblow

"Yours is the song that's engraved in my head Whenever I think out of tune So won't you remind me, this ain't the time for falling in love"

-This one was on Dave's jirvlist. I remember playing it one day in the kitchen and my roommate said it "sounded like ghosts"'.

Chimacum Rain by Linda Perhacs

"He belongs here/ Can't have him/ He belongs here/ Can't know him."

-This one was on Dave's Silnalist. I can't remember if it was on Silnalist a or Silnalist b. Ever since listening to both Silnalists, I've gotten more into Linda Perhacs, I'd never heard of her before Davechella. Parallelograms was the first album that I put on after I heard that my Granddad passed away earlier this week. I firmly believe that this song is about Silna missing her father.

Too In Love To Die by Julie Jacklin

"I'm too in love to die/ God couldn't take me now/ Surely the love I feel for him/ Would save my life somehow."

If I ever get around to making a Bridglarlist, this will go on it. Also, you know those songs that hurt so bad when you listen to them that you can't actually listen to them too much? This is one of mine. This one hurts so bad.

Old Note by Lisa O'Neill

"You hold the note, the note just moves the movement/ Let go of the note and so move everything."

-This one was on Dave's jirvlist as well, but it was the song that Ronan Raferty submitted for jirv. I love it so much I put it on my jirvlist. I imagine him listening to this in heaven.

Deutoronomy 2:10 by The Mountain Goats

"Look hard at my stripes/ There will be no more after me."

"10 The Emims dwelt therein in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims;" - King James Version of the Bible Deutonomy 2:10

@bell-swamp-fitzjames put this on his Mountain Goats list for Tuurngaaq and it wrecked me when I heard it. It's funny to give Tuurngaaq silly songs about eating guys, but thinking about them actually dying at the hands of colonialism and quite literally being the last of their kind is heartwrenching.

All of the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands by Sufjan Stevens

"And I am joining all my thoughts to you/ And I am preparing every part for you."

Growing up Christian, we are asked to prepare every part of ourselves for Christ for when we eventually reunite with him in Heaven. We are also asked to hold the belief true that we are all called to be saints (at least in the Catholic tradition). This song, to me, is the beauty in that devotion and the joy that has come to me in the times when I sat with that idea.

Qimmijuat (Wild Horses) by Elisapie

"Wild horses nuuttisingilat Wild wild horses nuuttisingilat"

-The joy of parenting. The loss of a parent. The loss of a child. This cover really perfectly covers all of those disgusting and beautiful and overwhelming feelings.

My Love, My Love by Julie Holter

"My love, my love/ I watch you, watch you grow/ From a child of shimmer/ To a goddess of the snow."

Another one from Dave's Silnalist. I think sometimes as a fandom we forget one of the most important things about Silna's character: she is a woman who is grieving her father and grief lasts forever. When my Dad died, I thought, "I'm never going to be the same again, I am going to be sad forever." And I was right.

1997 by Beatrice Deer

I haven't been able to find English translation for the lyrics on this one, but I think the music video says it all.

Televangelism by Ethel Cain

-ambient

-In the Ethel Cain story, this song depicts Ethel going to Heaven after passing away.

[13hemoglobin]

I have two playlists today for our final day of @cold-boy-tapes and this one is for my darling Sophia Cracroft. I do want to say that my very favorite Sophylist is the official Sophylist that Dave K made for Davechella. And also @empirenowmp3 made a sophysilna playlist that I just adore. Fingers crossed I see many more Sophylists today!

Tracklist and some thoughts under the cut:

Chicken Pussy by Bongwater

"I start to feel cheap/ Is this the fulfillment of a fantasy hoped for?"

I know that the song title is Chicken Pussy and I know the band name is Bongwater. And I know the song is a surrealist escape into the life of a strange woman who has group sex with her lover and her neighbor and a chicken. But to me, this is a feminist text. Did you want this life? To live with a man and cook dinner for him and hang out with the neighbors and their baby? Is it? Was this what you wanted? Is this ALL you wanted?

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division

This one could be read as cracro (and I do love cracro) but I mostly put this in here because it's a fun dancey song (despite the lyrics) and I think Sophy likes Joy Division.

Rock Star by Hole

"Everyone's the same/ We look the same/ We talk the same/ We even fuck the same."

I picture this as Sophy who was very edgy in High School (what is the British version of High School?). I imagine she listened to a lot of Hole and other Riot Grrl music.

1994 by Slutever

"Everyone's burnt out/ The familiar purr of anxiety."'

Another edgy teenager anthem I think she would enjoy, especially with all of the nods to 90s pop culture - Undone, Nevermind, Audrey Horne. Dave also put Falling by Jullee Cruise on his playlist, so I imagine she was a big Twin Peaks fan.

So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings by Squirrel Flower

"Not like I'm counting the days/ But it's been 25."

Sappho by Frankie Cosmos

"Is it cool when I don't care?"

Come Back From San Francisco by The Magnetic Fields

"Should pretty boys in discos/ Distract you from your novel/ Remember I'm awful in love with you."

I hate when GIRLS Die by Diespitz

Dust Bowl by Ethel Cain

"Pretty boy/ Natural blood-stained blond/ With the holes in his sneakers/ And his eyes all over me/ Drive-in slasher flick again/ Feeling me up while a porn star dies/ He's watching me instead/ Eigth grad death pact strike me dead."

God Lives As a Devil Dog by Foiegras

"I held a funeral for you/ It was as beautiful as you."

Davechella propaganda. I love the idea of cracro as friends before they were ever involved.

Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party

"You can hold me like he held her/ And I will fuck you like nothing matters."

All Apologies by Sinead O'Connor

"In the sun/ I'm married/ Buried."

Every Time The Sun Comes Up by Sharon Van Etten

"Pace mine for you, hold my horses/ Patient."

Back To The Old House by The Smiths

"And you never really knew/ How much I liked you/ Cause I never even told you/ Oh, but I meant to/ Are you still there?"

Famous Last Words by Ethel Cain

"You are the one I'd coming looking for/ Over and over and over again."

Davechella propaganda. This is actually Hickgib to me, but it's such an incredible song and I have to give it up because you know her favorite movie is Bones And All.

[13hemoglobin]

Please enjoy my JFJlist!

Details and thoughts under the cut. (I will say that most of this playlist is about doom, social anxiety, and having a gender.)

1 - Ugly Cherries by PWR BTTM - "My girl gets scared/ can't take him anywhere/ every time he goes outside/ he runs his mouth/ and then he runs and hides." - Chose this one because of the incredible guitar on it, it's so cool and speaks to James' adventurous spirit. There's playfulness in the gendered language here and also we know he loves to talk. Sometimes I like to think this is Crozier's idea of him.

2 - Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by Pansy Division - It's a sexy song but it's very playful and very party-forward. It's danceable. I think she would want something she could party to and also I think they would really love a leather jacket.

3 - They/Them/Theirs by The Worriers - "What if I don't want something that applies to me? What if there's no better word than just not saying anything, anything?" - While I can infer that this song is about coming out to oneself as not fitting into the gender binary/spectrum, TO ME, this song goes deeper and is about the dysphoria of social interaction when someone isn't out but appears androgynous. Also: social anxiety.

4 - Picture of my Dress by The Mountain Goats - "I only wore it once/ nine years ago/ nine years and seven months/ It may be a long while before the highway/ decides to finally set me free/ I'm gonna have to chase down the remnants/of something special that you stole from me." - It isn't a Terrorlist until the MTG song makes an appearance. I don't know what John Darnielle was trying to say when he wrote this one but to me this is about Jamie being shamed out of her presentation and finding what she can do to be able to hang onto it.

5 - Dark Room (Demo) by Choir Boy - "I'm not alright/ Slowly I pushed you from my life/ Lavender bright/ Sorry I'm fucked up all the time/ I know it's not right/ Wish I could be with you tonight/ Lavender bright/ Maybe I'm better out of sight." - Every day I'm afraid that they'll take this song away from me. It's so beautiful - the sonically minimalist nature of this song. The gentle singing. This one is about depression derived from self-imposed isolation and feeling out of place even amongst friends.

6 - Poison Oak by Bright Eyes - "You said you weren't afraid to die/ In polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes/ Were you made ashamed?/ Why did you lock them in a drawer? [...] I was young enough I still believed in war." - This one might be Jamie through Dundy's eyes. Especially considering James died before Dundy, there's a sense of missing someone so badly but being happy for them (perhaps Dundy is glad that the pain is done for Jamie?)

7 - Everyman Needs a Companion by Father John Misty - "Joseph Campbell and The Rolling Stones/ Couldn't give me a myth/ So I had to write my own." - I know for a fact that I heard this song for the first time on one of Cig @bell-swamp-fitzjames characterlists but I can't remember whose list it showed up on. Either way, Cig, if you put this on your JFJlist I'M THIEVING IT. She needs a best friend. And she's a mythmaker of themself. We all have to be the final authority on our stories.

8- Will Anybody Ever Love Me? by Sufjan Stevens - "Hello wildness, please forgive me now/ For the heartache and the misery I create/ Take my suffering as I take my vow/ Wash me now anoint me with that golden blade." - Number one I'm thinking about the incredible and impossible weight of leading this expedition. Number two I'm thinking about glove marriage. Number three I'm thinking about assisted suicide.

9 - Fight or Flight Club by Madge - "Put me in your fight club/ Cuz you wanna beat me up/ I got a way with making faces made for punching/ I wanna be the one/ You wanna take out/ I wanna be the one to make you feel like you'll start punching." - Do you guys think he got a hard-on after Francis decked him?

10 - Theatre by Etta Marcus - "I rehearse a work of theatre for you/ Come alive [...] Let me die on the stage/ Let the orchestra play." - The performance of the individual named Captain James Fitzjames! Every day of his whole life a performance!

11 - Older by Searows - "You think you look older/ I think you look alive/ You were right before when you told me/ 'Living takes more than just to survive." - This is the Fitzier song of all time to me and it's on my Crozlist as well.

12 - Hope by Vampire Weekend - "The phoenix burned but did not rise/ Now half the body's paralyzed/ There's no one left to criticize/ I hope you let it go." - Davechella Propaganda. This is her doom song.

13 - How I Get Myself Killed by Indigo De Souza - "Something must be up, I've never felt so dumb/ And I have never gone so numb/ And I have never been so late before/ This is probably how I get myself killed." - This is what she's singing to herself when she's dying on the shale of scurvy.

14 - The Winner Is by DeVotchKa - [instrumental] - This is what he's listening to in Heaven. : )

[13hemoglobin]

[Enjoy my Crozierlist in these trying times, my essay about it under the cut.]

Erica Western Teleport by Emperor X - I think of this as something Crozier might listen to while thinking of Sophia when he misses her but the weight of missing her isn't crushing yet. Or maybe he's thinking about like....Jopson or Fitzjames. Telling himself "never think of her" - maybe chastising himself because it's not allowed.

The Way by Will Oldham - obviously Davechella propaganda. I like to think that Crozier is listening to this and thinking of Sophia but also thinking of Jopson and their similarities.

Break by Alex G - (Killing yourself music haha) This one is about his dogged dedication to his two true loves when he's self-abusing: the Navy and alcohol. "Taking hits for you baby, because I wanna know how I'm supposed to" and "I'm sick for you, baby, and it's never gonna go away" stand out the most to me.

Skinny Love by Bon Iver - this one almost feels to me like those moments before Sir John dies and he's about to walk out with a small group to save everyone's asses and he's still pissed at Sir John ("I told you to be patient! And I told you to be fine! And I told you to be balanced! And I told you to be kind!")

Lights Are On (Instrumental) by Edith Whiskers - . It's deeply sad, I don't know the full lyrics because I prefer the instrumental. But I think they're "God stirred me up and I don't know why"

Sinnerman by Nina Simone - A song about needing divine intervention and not the landscape, nor the Devil, nor even the Lord God being willing or able to give you help. You can put this song on any fanmix for any Terror character. The most heart wrenching thing about The Terror itself (as a text or work or what have you) is that it is a Haunted House story where The Divine has forsaken them all.

Black Boys on Mopeds by Sinead O'Connor - More Davechella propaganda. Numbness from trauma by how abandoned you've been by your own government/leadership.

House of the Rising Sun by The Animals - I know it's really a song mostly about gambling but also drinking, but this is Crozier's self-abuse substance abuse song to me. "And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy/ And God I know I'm one."

Taking What's Not Yours by TV Girl - I think Crozier knows to a certain degree that he's not doing the right thing by trespassing on this land (that wants them dead) for the purpose of finding the North West Passage and so I think this is kind of a conversation between what's happening in material ("Thieving! Stealing! Taking What's Not Yours!") and also the abandonment by the Navy regarding the expedition ("you know where to find me/and I know where to look.")

Until I Am Whole by The Mountain Goats - another song for after everyone has died and Silna has left. "Hold my hopes under water/ Stand there and watch them drown [...] I think I'll stay here until I feel whole again/I don't know when."

Older by Searows - To me this is Fitzjames' vision of Crozier after "are we brothers, Francis? I would like that very much." With lyrics like, "We built a tower out of water and sand/ Make it taller than the both of us/ And we tear it a part with our hands." And, "And just because she told you so, doesn't mean that she's right." And, "You think you look older/ I think you look alive/ You were right when you told me,/"Living takes more than to just survive."

Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms - Do I have to explain this one? When I listen to this song and think of Crozier I scream like a little girl the whole time, "She hopes I'm cursed forever!/To sleep on a twin sized mattress!/In somebody else's attic or basement my whole life!/Never graduating up in size to add another!/And my nightmares will have nightmares every night! Oh every night! Every night!"

The Beer by Kimya Dawson - Another self-abuse song via alochol abuse. "And the Christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared of/ Burning in Hell! Well, I was already there!"

Eat Your Young by Hozier - I know it SOUNDS sexy to LISTEN to but look at the lyrics: "Skinnin' the children for a war drum/ Put in front of the table, sellin' bombs and guns/ It's quicker and easier to eat your young."

Real Love by Big Thief - To a certain extent, Jopson's view of Crozier during withdrawals. "Real love! Real love! Real love makes your lungs black! Real love is a heart attack!"

Need 2 by Pinegrove - A song about continuing to try even after it all feels desolate. I picture this as the song that plays as he's walking with Silna, STILL trying to find his men.

Life on Mars? by David Bowie - More Davechella propaganda. I don't know, it just works. " 'Rule, Brittania!' is out of bounds!" I don't know ask Dave about this one.

Edit 10/19/25 - I recently added "Morning Elvis" by Ethel Cain and Florence + The Machine because it may be the most Crozier song in the history of music. "If I make it to the morning/ I should've come with a warning/ And if I make it to the stage, I'll show you what it means/ To be saved." And "But the calling always comes/ Sounds like babies begging to be born." And "Well, you know I'm still afraid/ I'm still crazy and I'm still scared/ But if I make it to the stage/ I'll show you what it means/ To be spared/To be spared/To be spared."

If you truly read my Crozierlist ESSAY, please let me know, and I will. I don't know. I don't know what I'll do. I guess we'll have a Spring wedding if you really read all of this.