Please enjoy my JFJlist!
Details and thoughts under the cut. (I will say that most of this playlist is about doom, social anxiety, and having a gender.)
1 - Ugly Cherries by PWR BTTM - "My girl gets scared/ can't take him anywhere/ every time he goes outside/ he runs his mouth/ and then he runs and hides." - Chose this one because of the incredible guitar on it, it's so cool and speaks to James' adventurous spirit. There's playfulness in the gendered language here and also we know he loves to talk. Sometimes I like to think this is Crozier's idea of him.
2 - Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by Pansy Division - It's a sexy song but it's very playful and very party-forward. It's danceable. I think she would want something she could party to and also I think they would really love a leather jacket.
3 - They/Them/Theirs by The Worriers - "What if I don't want something that applies to me? What if there's no better word than just not saying anything, anything?" - While I can infer that this song is about coming out to oneself as not fitting into the gender binary/spectrum, TO ME, this song goes deeper and is about the dysphoria of social interaction when someone isn't out but appears androgynous. Also: social anxiety.
4 - Picture of my Dress by The Mountain Goats - "I only wore it once/ nine years ago/ nine years and seven months/ It may be a long while before the highway/ decides to finally set me free/ I'm gonna have to chase down the remnants/of something special that you stole from me." - It isn't a Terrorlist until the MTG song makes an appearance. I don't know what John Darnielle was trying to say when he wrote this one but to me this is about Jamie being shamed out of her presentation and finding what she can do to be able to hang onto it.
5 - Dark Room (Demo) by Choir Boy - "I'm not alright/ Slowly I pushed you from my life/ Lavender bright/ Sorry I'm fucked up all the time/ I know it's not right/ Wish I could be with you tonight/ Lavender bright/ Maybe I'm better out of sight." - Every day I'm afraid that they'll take this song away from me. It's so beautiful - the sonically minimalist nature of this song. The gentle singing. This one is about depression derived from self-imposed isolation and feeling out of place even amongst friends.
6 - Poison Oak by Bright Eyes - "You said you weren't afraid to die/ In polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes/ Were you made ashamed?/ Why did you lock them in a drawer? [...] I was young enough I still believed in war." - This one might be Jamie through Dundy's eyes. Especially considering James died before Dundy, there's a sense of missing someone so badly but being happy for them (perhaps Dundy is glad that the pain is done for Jamie?)
7 - Everyman Needs a Companion by Father John Misty - "Joseph Campbell and The Rolling Stones/ Couldn't give me a myth/ So I had to write my own." - I know for a fact that I heard this song for the first time on one of Cig @bell-swamp-fitzjames characterlists but I can't remember whose list it showed up on. Either way, Cig, if you put this on your JFJlist I'M THIEVING IT. She needs a best friend. And she's a mythmaker of themself. We all have to be the final authority on our stories.
8- Will Anybody Ever Love Me? by Sufjan Stevens - "Hello wildness, please forgive me now/ For the heartache and the misery I create/ Take my suffering as I take my vow/ Wash me now anoint me with that golden blade." - Number one I'm thinking about the incredible and impossible weight of leading this expedition. Number two I'm thinking about glove marriage. Number three I'm thinking about assisted suicide.
9 - Fight or Flight Club by Madge - "Put me in your fight club/ Cuz you wanna beat me up/ I got a way with making faces made for punching/ I wanna be the one/ You wanna take out/ I wanna be the one to make you feel like you'll start punching." - Do you guys think he got a hard-on after Francis decked him?
10 - Theatre by Etta Marcus - "I rehearse a work of theatre for you/ Come alive [...] Let me die on the stage/ Let the orchestra play." - The performance of the individual named Captain James Fitzjames! Every day of his whole life a performance!
11 - Older by Searows - "You think you look older/ I think you look alive/ You were right before when you told me/ 'Living takes more than just to survive." - This is the Fitzier song of all time to me and it's on my Crozlist as well.
12 - Hope by Vampire Weekend - "The phoenix burned but did not rise/ Now half the body's paralyzed/ There's no one left to criticize/ I hope you let it go." - Davechella Propaganda. This is her doom song.
13 - How I Get Myself Killed by Indigo De Souza - "Something must be up, I've never felt so dumb/ And I have never gone so numb/ And I have never been so late before/ This is probably how I get myself killed." - This is what she's singing to herself when she's dying on the shale of scurvy.
14 - The Winner Is by DeVotchKa - [instrumental] - This is what he's listening to in Heaven. : )