Jan 24, 2015
look: it me
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look: it me
Chapter 2 of Vergessenheit is now published on WattPad!
Vergessenheit
For Sara Fleischer, the war began with fire and ended in ice. But Ally bombs and a march through frozen fields did not come first: the war had a precursor that brought it to her doorstep in the shape of hunched shoulders, dirt-smudged cheeks and a gold star sewn to the breast of a sweater. A fugitive Jew in the heart of Nazi Germany is not a thing that can be simply swept beneath a rug, and thusly, it is the attic of Sara’s family in which the traumatized, stammering boy must take shelter. With the battlefield drawing closer and a country’s old prejudice reaching a boiling point, the line between us and them is blurred and the duplicity of human nature becomes clearer every day. But for better or worse, this Jew and German are the most important people in each others lives, and everything they thought they understood of their world will soon change forever.
Big announcement!!
Hello friends! I have just arrived back from my month-long escapade across Western Europe, including London, Oxford, Amsterdam, and a very long romantic affair with the whole of Germany, though namely several cities along the Rhine, plus a few days in both Munich and Berlin.
Now, I am writing this not only as a simple reminder that I will be returning more frequent activity. No, I am mostly writing this to let my lovely followers know about some MAJOR changes that my novel, “Paper Stars” will undergo because of this trip.
Firstly, I am no longer currently pursuing publication. Before any of you are alarmed by this, let me make it clear that I have certainly NOT given up on PS nor my aspirations on being a published author. That being said, after visiting several concentration camps, changing the location of the first half of the novel from Cologne to a small town on the banks of the Rhine called Boppard, and many other additional revisions for both the sake of historical accuracy and practicality, I will basically be re-writing the novel as a whole. While the characters themselves and the mode of narration will probably not change a great deal, I realize now that I have before me the elephantine task of tearing down a lot of the old framework I have built up over the last five years, and I am now starting over again, though thankfully not from scratch this time around.
I don’t blame you if this news exasperates you. I realize I have been notorious in my false starts and indecision and prolonged editing. But after my life-changing trip to the place I’ve been writing about for so long, I know that I can’t edit any more. I have to start over, and hopefully PS will become something far better than it is at this moment.
Be sure to message me if you have any questions and I will try my very best to answer them! I owe you guys big time.
With much love and trepidation,
Henna
Shiloh's official design; that's a glass eye, btw. He uses it to freak people out. Anyway, his story's set in 1989: basically, he's 19 years old, dropped out of high school his sophomore year and got his GED at age 16. He was born and raised on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and is primarily of Lakota descent. Works at his Uncle's tourist trap by the interstate that sells "traditional native american souvenirs" and spends his time quietly mocking the people who come in and out.
"Paper Stars" now available on WattPad!
Read the whole thing while you can! It will be up until I get back from my summer holiday in Germany in July.
Hope this was helpful!
“Who is that?” There is a moment of pause, and I’m taken aback when I realize that it was I that had spoken. I hadn’t realized I was staring at him until now.
Jessica glances up from her lunch and squints, unsure to whom I’m referring to. “Hm?”
“That guy sitting alone there. Who is he?”
He is a slight, sickly looking boy, sitting hunched over his lunch tray in the far corner of the cafeteria. His fringe falls in unkempt auburn wisps across his forehead, as though even his own hair is fragile. In fact, every aspect about him seems almost insubstantial, glass-like. I half expected a breeze to blow in through the back door and send him fluttering to the linoleum floor, destined to shatter like a christmas ornament. Faintly, I can see electrical-wire veins winding up his ashen wrists and neck, leading up to the delicate curve of his lips and the bruise-like circles beneath two blood-shot, red-rimmed eyes. They’re curious, too: slanted, long-lashed, melancholy, and the most striking shade of yellow I have ever seen—more fit for a jar of honey or whisky than the eyes of an invalid. And yet, he was one of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen.
Jessica follows my gaze, and then nods a few times—to herself more than I—as though everything makes sense now that she knew the object of my inquiries. “Oh! Oh, yes, that’s Edward Cullen.”
“Edward?”
“Uh-huh. Moved here with his foster-dad and siblings last year. Bit of an odd duck, isn’t he?”
I nod as I struggle to open my milk box. “What’s the matter with him? He looks—off.”
“Off? Yeah, well he’s supposed to have some sort of degenerative disease—something called…” she chews on the end of her fork a moment as she tries desperately to rummage through her memory.
“Friedreich's Ataxia,” Angela chimes in from across the table.
“Yeah, that’s it. It’s a nerve thing, right?”
Angela nods. “That’s why he looks like that. I talked to him about it once, since I did a project on genetic disorders in Bio last year. He’s on a lot of pills and medication—very high doses Proponol, and he has to go to Seattle for iron removal treatment every few weeks, too. There’s no cure for it, you see.”
“Uh-huh,” says Jessica. “Misses a shit-ton of school.”
I frown. “Oh...God, that’s terrible. Why does he even go to school then?”
“Don’t know,” replies Jessica vaguely. “He never really talks to people—has this terrible stutter, ‘cause of his condition and all that. He just kind of sits back and watches people. He seems content enough, I guess, since I’ve tried to talk to him before and he just stammers and stares. He twitches a lot, too: makes you kind of uncomfortable while you’re talking to him. See? Look, he’s doing that right now. I don’t know, he just looks at you funny, and I guess that’s why people don’t really hang out with him much.”
“And his siblings?”
“They kind of looked like him, too—kinda pale and twitchy, but I guess that’s just genetic. Two of them graduated last year, and I don’t really see any of them around much. But yeah.” Jessica chews her sandwich as though to punctuate her answer. “He’s kind of weird, but you can’t really blame him, huh?”
Just then, the boy looks up from his untouched supper and looks at me. There’s an odd expression upon his high-boned face, a quirk in his brow, a knowing flash in his eyes, and I immediately look away. “Yes. Can’t blame him.”
So! I've gotten, over the past few years, a few requests to critique/rewrite bits of twilight or improve characterization. Since I've been having writer's block, I took it as a fun challenge, and decided to start with one of the most problematic characters in an already...shall we say, objectionable book. Now, Stephanie Meyer's descriptions and explanations for vampires, I think, are very glossy and absurd. The idea that these "teenaged" vampires eternally go to high school is ridiculous as it is, skipping school to go "hiking" whenever it's sunny. She glamorizes the idea of vampirism, while I decided to go for a more "curse" or "disease" approach. I've always looked at vampires as half-alive creatures. Blood is the only thing that can sustain them, but no living creature save mosquitoes and perhaps leeches can survive on a purely sanguinary diet without health deterioration. That would explain the pale skin and dark circles beneath their eyes. Because of their heightened senses and keen awareness of human blood, I would think the Cullens, in a crowded environment, would appear incredibly twitchy, erratic and anxious. With all of these factors, illness would be a perfect excuse and explanation for prying eyes.
Now, I think it's silly that the Cullen children go to high school even though they hate it, so I think of it as optional. Almost all of the children choose to go about their lives comfortably apart from humanity, though Edward chooses to stay in the high-school environment because of his fascination with human beings, his desire to return back to this state, and his feeling of isolation. He is fixated on the idea of the beauty of transience, of living a life short and full of life and passion and love, which is an emotion rather dulled and convoluted after Vampirism. I think that would be an interesting character point, and would explain why he's so fiercely opposed to Bella becoming a vampire: he sees his condition as a curse, as only partially living, and sees aging and death as something beautiful and natural.
Anyway, blabbing aside, I enjoyed taking the clusterfuck that is Twilight and extrapolating upon the possible merits that were pissed away by the shoddy writing and non-existent shallow characterization. I was a big fan of the series in junior high (don't judge me), so it was actually kind of fun going back and futzing around with these ideas. I think there are a lot of cool opportunities with any sort of vampire story.
Just sent out my first query letter!
It was really scary but it's about Goddamn time. I finished my final read-through of Paper Stars last night, and I decided it was now or never. I have about a 2-3 week waiting period before I get a response, but I will be taking PS down from wattpad. Just thought I'd let you know!