Imagine you’re crushing on this woman for years and you know she’s leading you around on a chain and using your desperation to get you to do what she wants, but you can’t help but fight for every scrap of affection she throws your way. And you try so hard to prove that you can do more, that you can be useful and good, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that she has no real interest in letting you take a more active role (and whenever you do try to step out of line and take control, she pushes you back). There’s this resentment simmering under the surface but you still can’t help yielding to her whenever she calls, because the need is just a tad stronger. So in all of this mess, she starts giving you scraps of what you always wanted, wouldn’t that feel suspicious? It does feel suspicious. But what are you going to do, say no? After years of pining? But the more she’s giving you, the more you feel she’s just using your desperation against you to keep you in check. And then she finally fucks you but you’re so keyed up that you get off way too quickly and apologise the whole way through your orgasm. And then later that night you kill her. JohnMadelyn always on my mind.