YESSS, I did it! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT! It might be a bit scratchy cos I’m gonna need to warm up back into writing, but I SAT DOWN AND I WROTE AND I DID IT I’m nearly crying :) Here you go, some tense yet adorable Deanoru (And if people like it I can write a 2nd...)
“Hey.”
The soft red glow of a setting sun was flowing in through the window. The tray was still on the nightstand, with the food untouched.
“Are you feeling better?” she tried again. A muffled growl came from underneath the messy pile of covers.
“Do you need anything?”
Three tries were usually the point where she’d back off politely, with her ever-present worry that she’d be seen as pushy. But Karolina took one deep breath and three short steps and sat to the side of the bed. She tugged gently at the cover, but wasn’t ready for the bloodshot eyes, numb and unfocused.
“Please, you have to eat something. Please?” she repeated. She wasn’t sure what was more difficult, seeing Nico so devoid of her usual will and energy, or the powerlessness of not knowing how to help. “It’s nearly dark and you haven’t had anything today. I mean, this has gotten stale, but we’ll fix up something else. What do you like?”
“Well I don’t know. What do I like?” she answered with unmistakable bitterness in her voice. “What are my thoughts on cereal? Do I get a stomachache from eggs? Do I find butter gross? Am I allergic to maple syrup? Who knows, maybe I’ll have a pancake and die.”
“You survived your parents, pancakes won’t kill you,” she replied and bit her tongue immediately. “Uh, I didn’t mean to- “
“It’s fine K, I know they’re evil, I’ve heard the whole story twice.”
Karolina turned her head to the other side of the bed, where the staff was laying on the pillow. Nico answered her before she could pose a question.
“It doesn’t work,” she said.
“We’ve seen you use it, it just listened to what you asked it to do.”
Nico closed her eyes again and pressed her lips together in annoyance.
“Alex said you caused a snowstorm in your mom’s office.”
This time Nico slowly turned her head up. Karolina’s eyes met hers, causing a small jolt in her chest.
“Well it won’t show me what happened.”
“You know what happened.”
“I know what you’ve told me.”
“We wouldn’t lie to you.”
“How would I know?” she snapped. “The last time I spoke to you was a passive-aggressive conversation over a bathroom sink, following a two-year silence. Doesn’t exactly peak my trust bar.”
“Nico please.” Karolina dared reach for her hand, desperate to reestablish a connection.
It had been a tough few days in the house following Nico’s rescue, and the fact that they had relived everything again when describing her the recent events didn’t make things easier. Chase said at least they weren’t living in a van anymore, but Karolina would gladly turn back time and still be camping in there if it meant that the past week never happened, and their parents never got to Nico. If it meant that she remembered how the gang was close again and how they grouped together against PRIDE. If it meant she still had the confidence that using the staff brought her. If it meant she saw them use their powers, and not just from the demonstrations down in the living room. If it meant she remembered Karolina, them together, and the way things finally fell in place.
Karolina skipped that part in the recounting of the story – it was too intimate to describe in front of the whole group. Gert and Chase didn’t seem to bring up catching them in a compromising position at the dance, probably to maintain their own privacy too, so it remained a bittersweet memory, and only for one of the girls.
“Don’t.” Karolina heard, snapping back to reality and blinking to regain focus. She realized why her field of view was distorted when she felt the tear sliding down her cheek. “I don’t want you to cry.”
Her attempt to reply and the urge to chuckle resulted in an uncoordinated snort. Karolina wiped her eyes and returned a smile back to her face. Nico looked at her intently.
“I don’t want you to fake-smile either,” she said after a pause.
“I’m not.”
“Then why are you smiling at me like that?”
The question caught Karolina off guard, especially since she had no idea how it might’ve looked and how long she was doing it.
“I…” she stammered, looking around the room in slight panic, “I… Oh I figured how to make you have some food.”
“Oh really?”
“I’ll bribe you with make-up,” she answered, hoping it would be taken playfully and not as another dig at the girl’s fondness for cosmetics. It was received with an eyeroll, and feeble shaking of Nico’s head.
“Will you quit pestering me if I have a bite?” she asked. The subtle playfulness in her tone was enough to convince Karolina that she wasn’t being pushed away, and to ease the tension in her shoulders.
“Mhm.”
“All right then.”
“Look who’s up!” announced Karolina, walking into the open living area with Nico and supporting her by the waist. The shorter girl was evidently weak and exhausted, her eyes searching for the nearest chair.
“You’re just in time,” said Chase, wiping his hand off the apron hanging off his neck. Alex was standing at the kitchen island wearing a matching one. “Gert was teaching us how to make… uh… something I can’t pronounce.”
Karolina helped Nico to the sofa, who curled up, wrapping her arms around her knees. She wasn’t used to seeing her like this, limp and vulnerable, and it scared her. Mostly because Nico was the strongest person she knew, the one she would go to for encouragement and support, but whatever Karolina was trying now to be that kind of a rock for her best friend – it wasn’t working.
“We’ll have some of whatever that is,” she said, sitting next to her and covering them both with a throw. “I trust you won’t poison us.”
Bang!
Molly had just walked into the room, slamming the door behind her. “Sorry guys,” she murmured, “new to this super-strength thing. Oh great, team Deanoru is back!” She nearly screamed when she noticed them curled up on the sofa.
“Molly, what? It’s not- “ Karolina started, embarrassed. A quick look at Gert’s guilty expression told her that some things have been shared between the sisters.
Gert tried for a quick diversion to change the subject, exclaiming “Food is ready!” a lot louder than necessary.
Soon the table was noisy with sounds of forks clinking and lips smacking. Nico was just nibbling at her portion, but at least she was out of bed and making an effort, Karolina thought. And hopefully in the mess she didn’t notice Molly’s remark. Or hopefully she did? Karolina wasn’t sure what the better option was.
“You know I might get used to this,” said Molly with her mouth full.
“Well try not to,” laughed Alex, “breaking into houses for sale can only be safe for so long.”
“It’s not breaking in if you use your dad’s hacked credentials, is it?” she retorted, which started off an entire debate about whether they deserved some retribution from the universe for the trouble their parents put them through, and how many karma points the whole “breaking in” thing was costing them.
Once they were all done, Gert began stuffing the entire contents of the oven dish in a large bowl. “I’ll take this to Old Lace. She’s probably already burned through the chicken we brought her earlier.”
“I’ll come with you,” offered Karolina. She held the door to the hall open as Gert was carrying the heavy bowl and closed it rapidly behind her. She had to ask. “Hey Gert, um, did you say anything?”
“Hmm?”
“About that night, the dance, did you say anything?”
Gert lowered her gaze, avoiding Karolina’s eyes. “Listen, Karolina, I’m sorry. I know it’s none of my business, but you guys were also kind of obvious those two days we camped, and I kind of figured everyone already got the idea. I didn’t mean to like…” she wrinkled her brow, slightly uncomfortable, “…you know, gossip.”
Of course, Karolina knew that although they never publicly kissed or anything, they weren’t exactly hiding how mushy they were being with each other after her own rescue. And yet, knowing that Nico had no memory of it, but the group knew made her feel awfully uncomfortable, like they were violating her privacy. She recalled the hazy memory of waking up at the party, when Chase helped her out, the one she was too scared to ask more details about. And although this was nothing like it in its nature and intent, it felt disturbing that a person would know more about private events concerning Nico than she herself could remember.
In a moment of clarity, it dawned on her that she too was in the same knowing position, not having been completely transparent, and it made her chest knot up.
“Are you okay?” Gert asked when she saw the nauseated look Karolina was wearing.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied. “Let’s go feed Old Lace.”
“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” she asked for the umpteenth time as Nico was getting into bed later that night. Despite having spent most of the day in bed, she was still tired and sleepy. It must’ve been a post-effect of whatever they did to her.
Karolina still couldn’t grasp how someone could do that to their children, but then again, she also couldn’t grasp Frank betraying her, so she probably had a lot to learn about people. Her tendency to see the best in everyone had failed her quite a few times lately.
“I’m fine, Karolina. You really don’t have to worry about me.”
“Well we do.” She couldn’t summon the courage to speak just for herself. It felt so personal, so vulnerable to say I do. I worry about you. Why couldn’t she do it?
“Why?”
This took her by surprise. “What do you mean why? We’re a team.”
“We are not a team. We didn’t talk to each other for two years.” Nico cried out. Karolina wasn’t sure where she had found the strength, she seemed so worn out. “Last time I checked we were standing there… at the funeral, us without her. And… Alex didn’t even…” she swallowed, angrily. “And then two years passed, and Chase was a bigheaded lacrosse jock, and you were miss goody-two-shoes and… and now our parents are evil and we’re superheroes or some crap?”
She wasn’t standing too close, but Karolina could still notice her eyes starting to water, and it seemed like Nico was putting colossal efforts into not letting her voice crack.
“And best friends again?” Nico added, “out of fucking nowhere?”
Plenty of thoughts and explanations about how circumstances brought them back together were flowing through Karolina’s mind, but she had a hard time filtering out the right things and words to say. All she could think about was wrapping her arms around Nico and holding her, letting her relax and cry out everything that she has been bottling up. But she felt a barrier that she didn’t know how to cross. She took a tentative step forward, gauging Nico’s reactions. She was standing with her arms folded, looking down, and her face was contorted into an irritated confused frown.
“I’m sorry, Nico,” said Karolina as she was slowly approaching her, “that this is our world now, and that we can’t trust our parents, and that we have to be runaways, and that you… that this has happened to you.” She was now standing in front of her, locking her eyes on the shorter girl who was still staring at the floor. “But we’re here and we have to deal with it, and we will be here for you. I will be here for you.”
This made her look up, softening her gaze, and now it was evident that her eyes were red and watery again. This was definitely contradicting the intended harsh exterior she liked hiding behind and Karolina knew that she was being trusted with this, with this sad expression on Nico’s face, with the trembles on her lips, with her standing there scared. And so, she hugged her. She slid her arms around her back, pulling her in slowly, trying to be firm and supportive, yet tender and gentle, trying to let her know she can relax, make her feel safe.
Nico slowly moved her folded arms, wrapping them around her, returning the hug. And they just stood there for seconds that felt like eternity, or an eternity that felt like seconds. Karolina wasn’t sure. Quite frankly she thought time disappeared.
A stifled chuckle brought her back. “I’m sorry, K. I’m just so tired, and freaked, this is just…”
“It’s okay.”
She was sorry to feel Nico pulling away, but she noticed a momentary curve on her mouth, a glimmer of a smile, and that made everything immediately better.
She watched her climb under the covers and move the staff to the nightstand. They were all glad to have recovered it, but for now it seemed like a useless prop from a fantasy movie.
“My superhero weapon,” Nico commented sarcastically, returning to her usual demeanor. “A fancy stick with a hole. How do I protect myself against supervillain parents? At least you get to glow and be both pretty and badass.”
The compliment sent a giggly warmth to Karolina’s heart and she couldn’t help but reply back.
“You were quite a badass yourself,” she said.
The silence that followed bore Nico’s unspoken burdens of not remembering what she was like, what she has done, or what has happened to her, and Karolina’s bitter discomfort with not being fully honest with this girl who was her best friend, whom she loved, and who now needed her, somehow, to be her eyes, ears, and memory.
“Is it that superhero thing then, why they call us Deanoru?” Nico asked.
The question splashed over Karolina like an icy wave, and she stood frozen for a second while she was trying to regain control over her brain. She wasn’t going to lie, not to Nico.
“Uh… no.”
‘Didn’t think so,” she replied immediately. “Cos then you’re skipping Molly’s powers and…” The rest of that sentence disappeared in the abyss that seemed to stand in the small space between the two of them.
“Listen, Nico, I didn’t mean to be…”
“Just tell me.” She said, moving the covers away and pointing to the bedside next to hers. “Stay and tell me.”
She wasn’t sure what woke her up first, the shrieks of the hungry dinosaur downstairs or the loud banter in the hallway outside. Whichever it was, Karolina was thankful for it, because it brought her back to where she was laying next to Nico, who seemed to still be peacefully sleeping on the bed beside her.
She had told her the whole truth the evening before, and they had stayed up talking about anything and everything until they were both too sleepy and passed out. In all honesty, that wasn’t too long into the night, since sleep had conquered Nico pretty soon, but she had asked Karolina to stay. And that’s all she could think of as she was watching the beautiful face next to her, the dark hair sprawled on the pillow, and the hand just inches from her own.
It was okay. Nico had asked her to stay.
“Stop staring, you rainbow creep,” a groggy voice provoked her. Karolina was again not sure how long had it been, but when she snapped back to reality the banter in the hallway had disappeared.
“I wasn’t staring,” she babbled.
“Mhm right,” Nico rubbed her eyes, shifting under the covers. She must’ve noticed Karolina’s somewhat guilty face because she continued with her impish reprimands. “Just because we kissed those two times, allegedly, doesn’t mean you can watch me sleep.”
“Oh, it doesn’t? I had no idea. I guess I must renew my permit.” Karolina wasn’t sure what took over her and brought this reply out instead of the embarrassed mesh of jumbling excuses she expected to blurt out. Nico was equally taken aback, seeing as she stopped mid-stretching with her eyes glaring in surprise.
“I guess you must,” she smirked.
