#hereislight

[solenelmar]

an incomplete list of poetry quotes i can’t ever forget about:

·”but I’m still time zones away / from who I was the day before we met.” from “Photograph”, Andrea Gibson.

·”Will I be something? / Am I something? / And the answer comes: / You already are. / You always were. / And you still have time to be.” from “Here Am I”, Anis Mojgani.

·”I will love you when you are a still day. / I will love you when you are a hurricane.” from “Mouthful of Forevers”, Clementine von Radics.

·”The dirt and the dust are not / weak. I could build a house / out of you; you are the roof / when I rain.” from a poem by Liz (@clearwindowpanemoon).

·”I loved you head over handles / like my first bicycle accident - / before the mouthful of gravel and blood, / I swore we were flying.” from “Cycle of Abuse”, Sierra DeMulder.

·”So when my straight friend asks me why there is no straight pride parade, I tell her, ‘you can’t be proud of something you’ve never had to fight for.’” from “Pride”, Joanna Hoffman.

·”I woke up realizing I had been searching for a home with my own keys waiting in my pocket.” from “9 Reasons”, Joanna Hoffman.

·”13 things my uncle told me before he died: not everyone has the blessing to understand sadness / if you ever find yourself at the graveyard, read the names” from “poems from my uncle’s grave” (@irynka).

·”This is what you should be teaching your sons: / Each woman is a map and / if you dismiss her / because she was plateaus / where another woman has mountains, / and mountains where another woman has valleys, / then you will be missing out / on an awfully big adventure.” from “My existence is not for you” (@hereislight).

·”She’s not asking what you’re gonna tell your daughter. / She’s asking what you’re going to teach / your son.” from “Blue Blanket”, Andrea Gibson.

·”And if I know anything for certain, / I know it wasn’t love. / It was spitting flowers into our eyes / and calling it spring.” from “Fools at Love’s Table”, Ashe Vernon.

[possiblyaliens]

Finland was so beautiful

[chichizhuphotos-blog]

tunnel vision // los angeles union station

[hungryface]

dress him up in quiet clothes put no demons in his pockets pin no darkness to the insides of his sleeves put a flower between his shoulderblades ashes on his knees a petal on his tongue a funeral pyre of the softest wood under his back it will be drenched in blood; I touched it tell him not to mourn it as he lies there waiting for fire this is what he can’t save after I leave don't mention me don't mention the dead and the way you can almost see them sometimes tell him that if I had outlived him, I would have put my name on his grave and it would have been the truth let it be the last time he suffers I imagine a life after him years from now i'm in some place different where there's a bar and barlights empty stools and i will tell the bartender of him but he will have another name and i won't mention the part where i broke him down to tears they will ask if he loved me and I will say yes and there will be a silence (they will think he deserved it, if he loved a wretched thing) and I will say his death was also mine because this future doesn’t exist anyway I will die before him, in front of him on the marble steps quiet clothes with demons in their pockets and darkness on the insides of their sleeves no flower between my shoulderblades ashes on my knees my mouth empty of petals a funeral pyre drenched in blood because I touch it as I lie down he lights the torch and then the pyre my ashes sting in his eyes let it be the last time he suffers when the last of me seeps out of him and evaporates on his cheeks

eulogy for a living boy, as told by a dead boy (lil.)

[nomorechoirs]

I wake up and the world feel like it is ending.  This is fine, I tell myself. This is fine. Every breath is a sigh, every sigh is a scream, and every scream is a sign. And reality, as always, is a blur of fist-fights and broken teeth. The birds are screaming at us, but we’re too tired to notice their warnings.  Or maybe we do. Maybe we ignore them anyways. We’re spilling atlases in our sleep, pointing out forgotten cities and long lost empires, whispering, ‘here. here. my destination is here.’ A map without a key is useless, didn’t you know? It’s okay. I didn’t either. We were but children when ache became normalcy. The earth fractures when it realizes what we’ve become. Each fault line is an apology for all the faults we never forgave. If whole continents could break apart, then it’s only natural that our fragile bodies followed. Grief is the only language that has withstood the test of time. Grief and love. They are always intertwined, always chasing each other, always with us, like a crown that sits too heavy on the head. We should’ve placed it on our hearts instead. It would have held up better. I fall asleep and the world feels like it is ending. This is fine, I tell myself. This is fine.

For When Everyday is an Apocalypse. {cosmic-hope}

[nomorechoirs]

I wonder if my heart seems like a motel. Sorry, that’s probably a weird thing to say. It’s just that, people always leave, you know? They always leave. It’s just that, I feel like I constantly have to put up the bright neon signs for 24 hours. All of them at full power, all of them saying, look at me, look at me, look at me. And as I write this, I hope you don’t leave when you see the ugliness of my craving and of my need. The ugliness of my human. It’s just that, my arms will always be open to hold a person’s hurt for them, but when they go away they forget to offer their homes in return. Sometimes they forget to take their burdens with them. Sometimes they don’t even leave a note goodbye. It's just that, when I look up at the crescent moon, I can't help but to ask, 'how you do deal with the fact that people only give you love when you are full?' No one ever remembers to grant the falling stars their wishes too. It's just that, at the end of the day, I am a room that people like to rent but never stay in.  It's just that, my hands want something warm to hold.

Hands for Sale, Heart for Rent {cosmic-hope}

[nomorechoirs]

You're not destined or chosen, I wish I could tell you that you were if that would make it easier, but it's not true. You're in the right place at the right time, and you care enough to do what needs to be done. Sometimes that's enough.

Celia Bowen, The Night Circus

[nomorechoirs]

Happy Jar post! 

I finally got around to writing a new poem! It’s not...entirely happy? But I’m learning that it’s okay to write with that sort of openness. 

My friend from across the globe in Taiwan said her ipod shuffled to Cosmic Love by F+TM and she thought of me and messaged me just to let me know!!! Like??? This makes me very very very happy because that song means a LOT to me (I mean literally call it simply: my song) and the fact that someone associates it with me is just?? Wow. I mean, someone heard those first few harp strings and went ‘Oh yes, this reminds me of another human being!’ that is so amazing. 

I also made a thing on here for someone else also far away from me (she’s in the Netherlands) for her bday and she really liked it!! And I felt wayyy more proud of myself than I should have been that I got it to post during the right timezone but yeah I’m glad that went well.

Van’s replies to messages are so sweet!!!  What a precious human being. I’m pretty sure she’s the physical form of that feeling when it’s in the morning and you have to go get ready for class or something and you don’t feel that well but you take a small sip of some soothing chamomile tea and you feel the warmth soak from the cup to your hands and you know everything’s gonna be okay. 

I was walking back to the parking lot after eating dinner at a restaurant and suddenly I see a cat lounging next to a car just taking a nap in the setting sun and she (I think it was a she?) was so pretty and relaxed. I did a sort of squeal and blinked at her slowly 3 times to let her know I didn’t want to hurt her and she blinked back slowly once so it’s like?! I got 1/3 of an ‘i love you’ from a cat. 

I was in a sort of class group study a couple days ago for our recent exam and for some reason someone hooked up the class computer to 8tracks and then this song from Spirited Away came on and I got really emotional but also really calm afterwards. 

Speaking of that, I was really stressed for that exam and I came out of that test wanting to cry but it turns out I did better than I thought and I’m learning that I need to trust in my own small strength. Just have to let the waves carry me to shore.