“Gonna be honest,” Tony chimed. It was the first time he’d spoken in the last twenty minutes. “There’s so much secret secrecy secretness going on, I’m surprised you haven’t blindfolded me. Kidnappers normally blindfold the people they kidnap.”
“You get carsick if you close your eyes for too long, why would I do that to myself?” Bruce responded easily, wincing as the car dipped into another pothole. His grip tightened on the steering wheel in answer. “And stop saying that. I didn’t kidnap you. You got into the car easily enough when I told you what I was doing today.”
“A ploy! Dangle a treat in front of someone to get them in your car, classic trick. You said you were going to meet up with an old friend to check in, of course I was going to come. Fill out paperwork or get a glimpse into my ancient boyfriend’s never-spoken-of past? No contest, no game. But.” Tony wrapped his knuckles against the car’s passenger window pointedly. “We’re in the middle of the woods. Like, actual nowhere, Bruce. No one would live out here. I have been kidnapped.”
“Vampires would live out here,” Bruce intoned dryly. The road - nothing more than grass and dirt worn down by years of travel - veered slightly to the right, and on reflex, Bruce switched the turn signal as he followed it, skillfully ignoring Tony’s amused snort at the action.
“Then why do you live in Manhattan?” Tony
“Because I have issues.” The road was becoming smoother, the grass yielding in happy submission to the tires, well-tended and and perfectly trained. The surrounding forest was still as thick, but the trees seemed to be bent almost unnaturally away to create something like a tunnel. It made his lips twitch with a grin he couldn’t contain.
“... I can see your fangs.” Tony’s tone was suspicious, but his hand swung out to lightly smack his knee. “You’re either happy or you’re freaking out, Twilight. Are you freaking out? Is this someone we might not like? Should I hate this person? I think I’m going to hate this person.”
“Tony.” With the road smoother, Bruce could reach down and snag Tony’s hand with his own. As always, the human immediately twined their fingers together, the warmth of his skin humming pleasantly against the ice of his own. “It’s alright. I’m just excited. I haven’t seen my friend in almost twenty years. I don’t want you to hate him.” The soft glow of lights began to creep into sight. “And do me a favor? Don’t mention Twilight.”
“Why can’t I mention Twi- oh, hey. There is a house. With electricity. Guess vampires can live in the woods.” Tony’s fingers twitched in his. “We’re not going to live in the woods though.”
Another grin of amusement stretched Bruce’s lips.
———————————
It was a really fucking pretty house. If you liked the whole whimsical-yet-expensively-chic vibe.
Tony reluctantly let go of Bruce’s hand so that the vampire could shift the car into park, and immediately felt anxiety nibbling at his ribs. His boyfriend was relaxed beside him, his fangs still peeking out between his lips, but the feeling wouldn’t be stomped down. Bruce had been much the same when they’d gone to meet up with Betty and that had gone straight into the depths of Hell’s fires. The following months after her rejection had been both terrifying and heartbreaking, and Tony would be more damned than any vampire on the planet if he let Bruce go through that again.
He didn’t trust this friend.
“Hey.” Tony jolted back to the present as the ignition cut off, Bruce’s soft voice carrying easily with the lack of sound. He turned his head, and green eyes sparkled back at him with a fondness that made his gut ache. “I promise that it’s okay, and we don’t lie to each other, right?” Bruce opened the car door before he could answer. “Come on.”
Huffing out a breath, Tony popped his own door open, sliding out of the Jeep, unsurprised that Bruce was already there to snatch his hand again. The ground was soft under his feet, and the woods sang shrilly with bugs and birds. There were probably mountain lions out here, and bears, and wolves doing recon to plan for their next hunt.
But as the door to the house creaked open, bathing the dulling glow of dusk with the artificial light of the inside, Tony’s attention snapped straight to the biggest threat.
Urging him gently forward, Bruce lifted their joined hands and dropped a chapped cold kiss against Tony’s skin. “Remember not to mention the thing,” he whispered, which made Tony’s eyes narrow further.
He’d always called Bruce Twilight - even before he’d found at the man was an actual vampire and not just some quiet nerd obsessed with vampires. Three years into their relationship, and never once had Bruce complained about it, or asked him to stop, or looked anything more than exasperated at the nickname. If anything, it made his eyes light up with the smile he rarely released, and Tony would be damned if he didn’t get to see that just because some reclusive, no-fun, stranger vampire would get offended by being compared to a fictional book.
A figure stepped out of the house.
Tony’s eyes narrowed further.
It was a kid. A teenage boy who couldn’t be older than eighteen, nineteen if Tony was being generous. He was dressed glaringly well for someone of his age, his clothes perfectly ironed, his features defined and flawless, hazel eyes so strong in their supernatural-vampire-glow that they looked almost gold - so very obviously a vampire. But still looking so young. Too young. There was no way he didn’t get carded when buying R-rated movies.
Being turned into an immortal when you were just a teenager had to suck.
Another teenager - a girl with long brown hair and the same supernaturally perfect looks, came out behind hin. Her eyes were bright with mischief, and unlike the kid, she stayed in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching them all with a gleeful grin on her face, her fangs shining.
“Bruce!” The kid called out - his voice was deeper than Tony had thought it would be, a soft quality to it that almost matched his boyfriend’s. He was smiling. “It’s been a long time. I’m happy to see you’re looking so well.”
The words betrayed a more somber thought, but Bruce squeezed Tony’s hand. “Too long!” he agreed. “And look at you! Talking about doing well - you’re married! Bet your sister was thrilled. It must have been a beautiful ceremony.”
“It was the wedding of the millennia.” The kid’s voice was dry, and behind him, the girl chuckled in amusement. “And you.” The teenager’s eyes darted to Tony and then straight back to Bruce. No disrespect among vampires. “Your ... mate?”
Bruce didn’t pull Tony closer the way he had when Betty’s husband had eyed him for too long. He just stepped closer with a contented hum, their bodies gently bumping, their hands still connected. “This is Tony.”
“Human,” Tony tacked on quickly. “And mate. Though we just say boyfriends to other people. Not that we meet other vampires that often, so I guess mate works here.” He tilted his head toward Bruce. “Mate?”
“Mate,” the vampire agreed. The kid chuffed lightly, his smile smaller but still welcoming, and a small silence fell over them all. Beside him, Bruce tensed, just a little, but Tony felt every inch of the change.
“Tony,” Bruce continued, stretching out his name a little bit as he circled his thumb against Tony’s hand. He sounded hesitant; the anxiety began to creep back up. “I’d like you to meet one of my oldest friends. This ... is Edward Cullen.”
Silence fell like a bomb. Tony whipped around fiercely to stare at the teenager, wide-eyed, utterly oblivious to the urgently reminding tugs of Bruce’s hand as he stepped toward the kid.
How dare Bruce keep this from him.
“... Edward Cullen?” he demanded. “Like, vampire Edward Cullen - from Twilight?” Behind him, Bruce groaned. “Twilight’s Edward Cullen?!”
“The books got a lot of things wrong!” The kid - Edward Cullen - shouted back, eyes wide and burning gold. “A lot of things!”
“Tony,” Bruce chided. “What did I say?”
From the doorway, the girl - who totally had to be Bella, Jesus Christ - threw her head back and laughed.
——————————————
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Story brought to you by an alternate universe where Bruce is a vampire, he and Tony are dating, and Edward Cullen exists and is constantly harassed by the existence of Twilight. (And Bella is an absolute troll who brought home a cat and named it Twilight)
Disclaimer: I like Twilight.
•
Anyway! I wanted to add a quick note.
I hope that you’ve been able find things to lose yourself in to stay comforted and sane during this pandemic. It was rough as hell for me and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.
If you got labeled as an essential employee, or if you’re a medical worker, or if you’re a parent who got caught in unemployment redtape and had to scrounge for enough money to feed the kids you’re suddenly responsible for educating while waiting for approval, I love you. I am endlessly grateful to and for you. If there’s anything I can do to make your day just a smidge brighter, if I can write something for you, or if you just want to talk, hit than ask button or message me.
Love you all. ❤️
