Joel and Sausage still have split custody over Hermes, even if they're not together anymore, but since joining Hermitcraft, Joel has confessed to Sausage that he can't take care of Hermes as much anymore. This is all fine, and Joel gets Hermes on any off day that he has, until one day when Sausage needs to go somewhere desperately and hands Hermes over to Joel.
Joel returns to Hermitcraft, a smile on his face as he proclaims "Who wants to help me take care of a child?" and while most Hermits met Hermes during their stay in Empires, there are some that didn't (COUGH COUGH Etho COUGH COUGH).
So, in short, Etho learning how to take care of Joel's demi-god son and also for the first time getting the news that Joel has a kid.
("WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS ONE WITH JIMMY TOO?!?!" -Etho probably)
The hermits are as a whole, very enthusiastic about looking after a kid. Whether all of them should be is another matter, but Joel thinks every good childhood involves TNT cannons, right?
Etho can't believe he misses one small tear in the void between servers and now Joel has a kid. How did this happen? What? What does Joel mean the other father is called Sausage. Though, he's friends with Beef, so he guesses that's not the weird part.
Protector Sausage has a bad habit of puttin off his regression until he gets so stressed he has a full on meltdown- luckily Joel has been teachin Hermes how to spot when Sausage needs to regress and take him to Eddie :D
Hermes enjoys spending a lot of time around his parents, but they're kind of overprotective. So, instead of sticking around all day, he goes to his favorite irresponsible babysitters (scott and shubble) and has the best time stealing and accidentally placing curses on other members. After a full day, hermes is so tuckered out that he curls up into his papa's arms and goes straight to sleep (sausage thanks scott and shelby so hard for wearing him out. He, joel, and lizzie had a wonderful date night).
some headcanons about hermes and his grandchildren (the orphydice kids) please? (and junie of course)
Alright so I'll be honest I never really considered that they are like...his grandkids bc I think they don’t consider themselves as such?? it’s like?? Odd?
Anyway.
General
Hermes designs a mixed drink about all of his family members. Aka Hades, Seph, orpheus, Demeter, his own mother, Eurydice..
this carries over to the girls, who he tries to capture their personality in a drink (And makes a version they can enjoy too)
He has high chairs/baby seats in the bar. NOT for them to chill out at the bar with the customers, but especially when Eurydice is trying to get things done during the day.
He keeps Cheerios and M&Ms in a jar in the back room for all the girls.
Junie.
-Junie is extremely confused why his name is pronounced Hermes and not like the designer brand
-As a toddler she sort of would wreck havoc in the bar, I won’t like. Persephone would bring her by to talk with I'm or Orpheus and he’d look over and she’d be surrounded by drink stirrers and napkins.
-He used to sit her in with the wine bottles and take pictures of her, to send to Persephone like “look she takes after you already.”
-Junie really is like his little niece because he and Persephone grew up playing together.
Melody
Melody has a special place in his heart because she made Orpheus the father he always wanted to be.
-He used to like to hold her while Orpheus did sets and Eurydice actually worked behind the bar. He would sit with her and feed her olives from the jar, which she would shove on her finger tips and giggle.
-As melody gets older, she’s very high strung. He is a calming presence in her life, and especially if her parents aren't around, he will sit her down and work through all of her questions/fears in a very realistic way.
Aria
-Aria is his favorite but of course he can never admit that. She’s just SO much like Orpheus.
-She takes to him as a baby and is exceptionally happy when he carries her around the bar. She’s so observant so he will sit and explain things around her and she will just watch with those big green eyes.
-It’s scary sometimes, because she does look so much like Orpheus, that he sees Calliope in Aria. She’s nothing like her, but sometimes when she laughs he can see his older sister in her.
-He’s called her flower child her whole life.
Lyra
-Hermes is the only person who can get through to Lyra. I don't want to say he disciplines her, because he doesn't. But his disappointed look affects her more than either of her parents do.
-She’s known as wild child to Hermes
-honestly her signature drink would be straight vodka because thats what she makes everyone want.
- Ironically, he was also the only one who could really get Lyra to calm down when she’s throwing a tantrum. He would just take her and talk to her like a full adult and she’d calm down.
-He goes to her softball games and has to talk Eurydice down. His presence is enough to get her to shut up and sit down.
Piper
- oh Piper. He always said she was the reward for dealing with Lyra (not to lyra of course)
-He worked closely with Hades to add a few kid friendly gluten free things to the menu, because the kids tended to hangout in the bar after school (not when it was open of course) and he wanted her to to have something to snack on.
- He always says that Eurydice and Orpheus just made another Demeter with this one.
Harper
-By the time theres the twins he is exhausted by all these kids okay
-By this point he is done being a good influence and instead tells her things to annoy her parents. Because why not.
-Or he WILL give harper multiple pieces of something sugary to get her going before sending her home.
Lennon
-He just sees Orpheus in this one. Truly, he just sees Orpheus. He digs out some of Orpheus’s old baby pictures and recreate them with Lennon.
-He’s the one buying all of the lil mini baby instruments for him strictly because he thinks it’s amusing to dress him up like Orpheus.
-naturally, this lil baby likes Hermes very much, and is very attached to him.
