Trigger warnings: Some minor injuries, mention of sttabing
Word count: 1341 words
Chapters: One shot
It was just a regular laundry day for roman, what could possibly go wrong? His enemy knocking the door and pleading for help, maybe.
~*~
Roman took the last of his white T-shirts out of the washing machine and folded them neatly. It was hard to have a day off as a hero, so his day off was also his laundry day and his cleaning day.
Roman didn't like his days off, not because of the housework, he was just worried about what his friends would do without him. Patton would forgive any criminal and Logan would take the "logical solution" and just send them to jail. His brother would torture the criminal and Janus would probably interrogate anyone and everyone looking for a detailed back story.
His concerns weren't about a random shoplifter or a robber, he was worried about Anxiety, his arch-nemesis.
It was rare for them to fight, but when they did, no one but Roman could defeat him, and if Anxiety decided to attack, the entire town of Sanders would be doomed
The ticking of the oven distracted the man from his thoughts and brought him to the cake he was baking. He took the cake out of the oven and sat down on the couch to watch the news. His heart beat a little faster as he listened to the woman on the screen
"Has Anxiety been defeated? The supervillain was found unconscious near the hero's memorial this afternoon, but disappeared before the authorities could investigate, and the heroes haven't said a word about the incident."
The video was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the front door. Roman turned off the TV and waited for the sound to repeat itself
"Hello?" Roman stood up and walked to the door with something random in his hand, "Is anyone there?" The door made the noise again and he cautiously opened it without seeing anyone there"Come out, wherever you are! I have a..." And then he took the time to look at what he'd gotten, "An umbrella! And I'm not afraid to use it!" And he looked down only to see someone he (unfortunately) recognized
Anxiety was in his doorway, and he was on the ground, vulnerable and, as he could see, bleeding
"What are you doing in my house?!"
"I..." began Anxiety, standing up and leaning at the doorframe, "I need to hide... I'll pay you, clean, even stop fighting, I'll do anything, just let me..."
"What makes you think that I would help you run from... whatever you're running from!"
"I'm not running from the police, if that's what you're thinking, they think I'm dead. So do the heroes..."
"Then who're you running from?"
"From my... I was going to say friends, but I don't think friends will stick a knife in your stomach..."
Roman looks at the one who once was his main enemy, the one who all of the heroes united couldn't defeat. Now he had blood, his blood, all over his body and didn't even manage to hold himself still. It could be a trap, of course, it smelled like one
"Do you have any weapons with you?" asked Roman, examining the creature in front of him.
"Who are you? Airport security?" Anxiety joked, realizing how serious the question was, "I only had my sword, but I left it at the... I'm not going to tell you where I left it"
"Fine." Roman opened the door. "If you try any funny tricks, I still have... "
"An umbrella? I'm really scared" The villain took a step only to fall into himself losing his balance.
"Are you okay...?"
"No, I'm not, now help me up!"
Roman got down and picked the villain up putting Anxiety's left arm around his neck. "I'm putting my hand on your side, okay?"
"Uh... okay...? I mean, it's not like I would be able to walk if you didn't"
"You're right," Roman sighed, helping the other to sit down on the couch, "I'll be right back, don't touch anything."
"All right, Your Highness," The villain said with a play on Roman's heroic name. Prince. It was really stupid, but it was catchy. Roman looked in his room for one of his first aid kits, he found one and took it into the living room.
When he entered the living room, he found something that only lived in his nightmares, Anxiety, his enemy was looking at his baby pictures, the same ones with his mother's face, the house where he grew up, and his name.
Anxiety noticed him coming back and looked at him, "Oh, you're back..." The black- haired man stared at him, kind of embarrassed to be there, and Roman wasn't doing a very good job of calming him just standing there and staring. "You... You were... a very cute baby."
Roman scratched his neck, "I... thank you, I guess..." The hero turned over the picture with his name on it. "Did you read it?"
"Maybe... Is that your name?"
"Maybe, why do you want to know?"
"I don't..."
"We are good then, can you take your shirt off?"
Anxiety looked at him strangely, as if wondering why
"Don't make it weird! I just need to look at the cuts and take care of them," Roman said blushing, realizing how weird that sounded. Anxiety did as he was told, "Can you sit on the couch now?" And again, Anxiety did as he was asked, and immediately. Roman began by disinfecting the cuts, "This is going to sting a bit..." Why did he do that? Why didn't he leave Anxiety to rot in the dirt? He could just save the city from this threat once and for all, but he was too good for that, wasn't he? Too much of an idiot...
"I'm such an idiot" Roman analysed the words he believed came from his own mouth until the sound continued, "You could have just left me to die, you know..." Soon he realised that Anxiety was the one speaking, "Why... Argh!" The man winced at the cold liquid in one of his wounds, "Why are you helping me?"
Roman took a deep breath as he put away the alcohol and got some bandages "I don't know any more than you do, I just know right now is that this is not an ideal situation," he said as he began to bandage the wounds. "And if I can be honest with you, which I'm not sure I can, it is really embarrassing to have someone over, even worse if it's someone..."
"Someone like me..."
"Yeah..."
"I get it... It's even more embarrassing when you are at your... what are we? Arch nemesis or some of this weird bullshit? Who started it?" Roman remained silent as Anxiety spoke... "I never... I mean this in the best possible way, but I never did anything bad... I just showed up sometimes and we got into fights... Sometimes I wonder..." And then he silenced himself
"What do you wonder? Roman finished Anxiety's dressing and sat next to him, as a way to tell him that he was safe.
"What if we just... stopped fighting, you know, we never had a reason to!" And then it hit him, Anxiety wasn't a supervillain, he was just a guy who showed up every week or so and they fought, he would say something about revenge and then leave, he shouldn't hate thins guy, he sould hate those random shoplifter or those robbers
If you ask Roman what happened at that moment, he would say nothing happened, what are you talking about? Kiss? What kiss? I never kissed anyone! What makes you think that? Are you crazy? Ha ha ha... And he would leave, but we all know that's not true.
They locked eyes for a moment, and kissed, and it was magical. Roman could worry about ironing his clothes later, because right now he was kissing someone, and that someone was... Wait... what was his name? Roman soon realised that he did not know Anxiety's name.
They pulled away.
The best way to get his name was to introduce himself first, and that's what he did.
Roman, Logan and Patton are superheros who battle The Villains that are Deceit and Virgil. But of course it is not that simple Patton is actually workin with V and Dee in secret, collecting information and learning the hero's weak points so V and Dee may defeat them but whoops more twists they all live together! Along with thomas (who has the power of the mom friend) outside of the hero and villain thing the sides live a normal life and work a normal job but alas what happens when a traitor is caught and identities are revealed?
Logan smirked softly as he gave Virgil a knowing look.
"I know exactly why you're here, Anxiety. I won't stop."
Virgil leaned back slightly at hearing his title. The only people that knew it, or him, were in the Agency.
"Wh-what do you mean?"
Something like lightning flashed in Logan's eyes.
"Let's say that you and your little agent friends are invited to a little...get-together. It'll really..." Logan lifted his hand, and sparks flashed before Virgil's eyes, like whips that were just a little too short. "Shock 'em."
Logan laughed to himself as the sparks disappeared and he stood up.
"It's taking place on the bridge. I'd recommend bringing a plus-one."
Then Logan was gone, and Roman was berating him for letting him run off.
"Listen, Princey," he hissed. "Something's up with this guy."
"Yeah, figured that part out." Roman's sarcastic tone was slightly broken into by the static buzz.
Summary/prompt: The hero shows up at the villain’s doorstep one night. They’re shivering, bleeding, scared. There’s also a slightly dazed look in their eyes– they were drugged. They look like they were assaulted. Looking up at the villain, swaying slightly as they’re close to passing out, they mumble “…didn’t know where else to go…” then collapse into the villain’s arms.
Pairing: Logince
Word count: 7232
Notes: After meeting the terrible Utilitarianist and learning about his manifesto, we get to see the origin story of the Dreamer. (Without a beta. Sorry bout that) It looks like he has a long way to go if he wants to free himself from the propaganda he grew up with.
Warnings: internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, critical comments on traditional values and capitalism
Previous Chapter
Chapter 2
Young Roman was shaking with righteous anger. How dare this – this fiend targeted the company of his father? He was the hardest working man in the world! His idol, his hero! He was donating to charity, pursuing a career in politics to support the attempts of the republican party to protect this great country’s safety and now he had to deal with an investigation into the state of his breeding facilities!
He could understand the wish to treat animals well, of course he wanted them to live a happy life, but his father was doing the best he could, he was a good man! The caramel colored Highland cow he’d given Roman for his twelfth birthday attested to that. It lived in a huge stable and was brushed daily and was still hand fed and braided by Roman himself. It showed how much his father loved his animals!
And now this upstart maniac was terrorizing his father and other facilities of hard-working Americans and instead of catching him, law enforcement investigated the outrageous claims this terrorist had made against his dear father. It was victim blaming!
Roman could not stand for this! It was gross injustice! He wanted to help, to support his father and show him that he could trust him! He was almost twenty now – a man – and it was time he finally managed to prove himself!
Admittedly, he hadn’t managed to do a very good job of it yet. He lacked the sense for business and asked the wrong questions about wages for the workers and made stupid suggestions about the wellbeing of the animals that embarrassed his father in front of his colleagues. Shame rose into Roman’s cheeks as he remembered his silly question about fencing in a meadow for their calves in their Laredo facility to play in with their mothers. He’d just remembered how much Nugget had always enjoyed jumping around with them. Of course he should have known they needed to be separated from their mothers after the first day to avoid losing the milk they sold. It was necessary, he guessed. So they’d said.
He really knew nothing about business.
His father had it hard with him. He was the only child of the family, the only hope to continue their empire, yet he lacked a sense of ruthlessness a strong man needed to improve the world. He was a bad hunter, had the wrong interests, sometimes he spoke too softly, sometimes too loudly, or too effeminately, and somehow couldn’t bring himself to fit in with his peers. All he wanted was to make his father proud, though! There must be something he could do to stop this maniac from causing more trouble! He’d shown up out of nowhere, disabling factories and leaving made up accusations behind and it looked like he was only getting started.
Roman had one thing going he was good at, though. He was strong, brave and determined. Someone needed to put a stop to this renegade liberal, and it might as well be him. It wasn’t like all the other things he’d tried and failed at. This time, he felt a calling to fight the war of the righteous!
Astonishingly, his father hadn’t scoffed at him as he’d passionately pleaded his case. The paper in his hands had been filled with speculations about the black clad silhouette barely caught on camera. The elderly republicans rightfully arguing against him had been banished to page eight, pushed aside by the intriguing puzzle the anonymous terrorist presented.
He’d looked at Roman as if he’d never truly seen him before. As if he was something of value. For the first time in years, the young man had his father’s full attention. It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of – bright and warm and exhilarating. He felt worth something for the first time as his father rose and walked around him, taking in his tall frame, filling in well from the workouts he tried to burn frustrated energy with, the sparkling, green eyes, the luscious curls, the strong cheekbones and attractive features. There was no denying that Roman was handsome. A figure to be displayed, as long as he kept his mouth shut. This time however, he’d found a tone his father wanted to listen to.
Over the course of the next months, the extremist’s deeds grew more frequent. The liberal media was lapping up his speeches, stilted and uncreative as they may be. He seemed to be gaining support online as well – lonely, misguided souls as his father put it. His destructive agenda was threatening to destroy the moral of this good society and plunge them all into anarchy.
There was no cause for fear, though! The good people of the greatest country in the world were once again showing why their resolve would not be stopped by anything. A revolution was on its way.
His father had created a community of wealthy, caring American patriots ready to sacrifice whatever it took to counteract the threat to their traditional values. Their researchers were using the latest, barely tested military technology to strengthen their soldiers for the fight for America’s future. It would be a great risk they were taking together, but Roman, their first (and only) courageous candidate, would not back down from the challenge.
They needed someone his fellow citizens could look up to. Someone who would stand up to the terror caused in these insecure times. Someone kind and strong and good to give them hope for a better future. A future Roman believed in with all his heart. Humans were amazing creatures! The feats they had accomplished awed the young man and deep down, he believed they could solve their problems together. He trusted their combined creativity, love and unity to save this planet in the end. There were problems his father always complained about they needed to face – terror and hostile foreign countries, leftist propaganda and the lying media trying to divide them, but he believed they could conquer the world and their fears if they could only work together instead of being torn apart by a monster like this terrible man! Roman wanted to unite the world. He wanted to give them something to believe in. He wanted them to know they needn’t be afraid, like he told them to. They could trust their government, their leaders, each other. Peace was a possibility if they only believed. And he knew he could give them this belief.
For months, he subjected himself to test, procedures and surgery with no complaints. He saw no daylight for almost half a year as his father’s and his partner’s scientists, the people who worked for the Conglomerate, did their best to make him worth putting their faith in. His bones were infused with crystallized carbonium, his muscles strengthened with steroids and drugs and his healing capabilities increased with experimental stem-cell therapy.
It was agonizing.
It was glorious.
Finally, Roman could be something his father could look at with pride.
As he saw him again, months after being sent to the research facility (his father was a busy man after all), Roman had become someone worthy of carrying the name Prince. His origin story had only begun, though. The moment he was able to walk without obvious pain, his grooming for the media began. He wanted to get out there and stop the villain from hurting people as soon as possible, but he was given to understand by Karen, the leader of his supportive team of experts, that the psychological damage he was inflicting on America’s soul was much greater than the wounds he tore into their economy.
Roman humbly accepted the choices of those smarter than him. He worked hard on his enunciation, his posture, his all-American accent, so they would deem him ready faster. The terrorist was growing more and more dangerous every day. His acts were growing more sophisticated, his public appearances increased from flashes of a tall, slender form caught by cameras, to manifestos read in a passionate, though clearly untrained voice over the internet. And now, he’d killed for the first time.
Roman could barely be held back. The man who’d been killed, Richard Snyder, had owned the largest chemical production company in the world and had been blamed for the death of a large amount of people in Vietnam due to a herbicide that had leaked into the phreatic water.
He’d also been a father of three girls and felt behind a grieving wife.
Roman had been upset about the news of the many deaths overseas, but he also grieved for the people this terrible crime had left behind. Accidents were a terrible thing and he was sure Mr. Snyder hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. People were good and cared about each other in his opinion. After the public blame the terrorist had put on his shoulders before – there was no other word for it – lynching the poor man, the media reacted to the crime in a manner that deeply shocked the sensitive young man. Instead of condemning the horrifying acts harshly, they discussed the accidents that had caused the unfortunate deaths in Vietnam and demanded consequences to avoid such accidents in the future!
Of course people needed to be protected, every life had value and had to be treasured, but to besmirch this victim’s life work, so soon after his execution – it left Roman angry and terrified for the state of the world he loved. He needed to stop this man, right now! He was strong enough to do it, why must they keep holding him back?
Tortured by grief and pressured by his need to prevent more loss of life, Roman pleaded to be allowed to do something, yet his team of intelligent, professional experts hired specifically to make him the best possible hero he could be, demanded he wait for the right moment.
“You’re just not quite ready yet, dear. We mustn’t risk making the wrong impression with a young stallion like you.” Karen had told him gently, patting his cheek.
He’d woken in agony after having his muscles cut open all over his body and suffered through a truly terrible withdrawal after a failed test of a drug that was supposed to improve his durability but had instead corroded the lining of this throat and stomach, yet nothing had ever been as difficult as enduring this waiting for Roman.
Finally, after more than a year of changing and preparing him, of whittling away at the inadequate shell that had been Roman Prince, the odd, weak disappointment of a son, a new man was revealed to the world. A man who was confident, brave and kind. A man who spoke clearly and showed the frightened society the way to a better world. A hero.
The terrorist was executing his greatest, and most terrible crime yet. He’d rigged a factory producing military equipment for the protection of their brave soldiers overseas with explosives. Painting himself as the vigilante and avenger of the suppressed masses in war-wracked countries, he’d given fair warning to the workers to escape, but had shown his true colors in the end after all. The board members of the armament manufacturer had been kidnapped and trapped inside the building to be executed for their supposed crimes of trading with dictators.
It had been the day the terrorist had stepped from the shadows into the light of the cameras to blame his victims in person before they met their end. He’d exposed their alleged crimes against the helpless, suppressed minorities the weapons were used against – lies and exaggerations as his team had assured the young hero – and had finally shown himself to the world. Part of him, at least. Like a true villain, his body had been clad in a skin tight, black suit and his face had been masked from the light of truth and justice. He’d named himself the Utilitarianist.
Yet, at his greatest moment of triumph, a hero rose to meet him. Stepping from the ashes of the detonated building, the Dreamer emerged, leading out the disoriented victims of the Utilitarianist’s terrible plan. Showing his handsome, young face to the camera, unmasked and alight with his passion for the defense of all that was right, he’s faced the other head on and finally gave the just and good Americans a hero to believe in. The time of fear and helplessness was over. He had risen from the dust of his nemesis’ destructive acts to beat him.
Their battle, caught from every angle in high definition, had been dramatic and terrifying. The Utilitarianist had grown into a formidable enemy while Roman had been prepared for him. He was lightning quick and fought dirty, twisting out of his hold like a snake. Narrowly, the villain escaped the young hero.
Roman had felt defeated even as he’d stood in the rubble to be celebrated. He’d been supposed to put an end to the terror and lead the world he loved so dearly to a kinder, better future where people trusted and supported each other once again. He knew it was possible, he wanted it so much he ached with the need to bring it about. Hadn’t he suffered so much so they wouldn’t have to anymore?
Yet he smiled bravely at the awed masses and aided their attempts to secure the scene and calm the frightened onlookers. A hero must never show his inner struggles. He wanted them to know they needn’t be afraid anymore. He would fight for them. He would bleed for them and die if he had to.
Karen had reassured him afterwards. He had done well. The tone in the newspapers had changed. Everyone was looking at him and listening to his voice. He could give them the stability they needed. Interviews were planned for him and he was briefed extensively for all of them. He was to portray a hero that had chosen to fight on his own volition, because it was the right thing to do to stand up and protect the suffering people. He would be there to shield them from this terrible violence. There was no need to worry and listen anymore. The good, hard working people of America could sleep calmly and focus on their lives and families again instead of getting involved in the danger the Utilitarianism tried to drag them into with his ruthless calls for action. He was a threat to the love and kindness their country was built on and the Dreamer would not let him get away. He would take care of it all.
Despite his wish to brag with his father’s great plans and the selfless efforts the other CEOs, lobbyists and republicans had invested, they asked him to never mention the Conglomerate that had created him and steered his actions. The public needed a legend to put their faith in now, they said. Not a bunch of old men bumbling about. Though he felt selfish when he claimed to be acting by himself with nothing but the help of volunteering patriots, he trusted their knowledge more than his own. Though the Dreamer was a great hero, Roman would not forget that he was just a young man trying to be good enough for his father’s love he’d failed to deserve before.
In the coming months it became clear to Roman that catching the Utilitarianist would be no easy feat. Many of his plans were carried out in secret or committed over the internet, where his brute force had no power. Whenever he managed to face the cowardly villain, he rudely evaded his demands to bring this rivalry to a dignified end and attempted to ignore him like a fly buzzing about his head. The outrage!
While his organization grew into a network over the globe, the Dreamer was left to calm the suffering public in interviews and entertain them with photo shoots for calendars and merchandise. Though he’d always dreamed for being a star and acting at a Broadway production as everybody’s darling as a child, he found the publicity work hard to bear at first. His team reasoned they needed to create a brand that represented the American values they tried to preserve. His fans would find it easier to act with the kindness he tried to preserve if they had an ever present, well defined idol. Saving the world in the age of Instagram and twitter worked differently than it did in his comic books.
Chastised, Roman had deferred to their expertise.
The Utilitarianist used Discord, Tumblr and the darknet the same way after all. Groups doing his dirty work popped up all over the web like toxic mushrooms. Roman was starting to worry there could never be enough magazine covers to keep up with his vile influence.
In the face of such inspiration, it was hard not to be discouraged sometimes. Yet, he preserved. Tirelessly, he tried to remind the world of what mattered, using bold words to paint a bright and colorful picture of the future he truly believed in. A future of unity. They mustn’t lose sight of what mattered – standing together, fighting the hate the Utilitarianist spread with his extremism that called to simple solutions. To violence. Being kind was harder, almost impossibly hard, but Roman would not lose himself in hate, and he knew his fellow Americans wouldn’t either. Breaking the law and turning to murder would not save the planet, it would turn them into monsters. Many people followed his example and joined what generation z called Team Dreamer, yet even as Roman got to shake the hand of the president, he felt he was not doing enough. He should be out there, fighting harder.
Even after chasing him for almost a year now, Roman felt those things as strongly as ever. He was right, gosh darn it! How could this irritating man not see the merit of a peaceful solution? Who didn’t want peace?!
Finally, despite having been cautioned repeatedly not to get involved in arguments where his scripts couldn’t help him, he confronted the other with his anger. The wind created by the rotor blades of the approaching helicopter whipping at their clothes on the roof-top almost carried away his words.
“Why must you be so impossible?” He’d cried, completely at the end of his patience while he tried to untangle his foot from the steel cable he’d caught Roman in. He wished he could stamp his foot in childish anger. The McDonalds headquarter? Seriously? This man would be the death of him! He’d kill him with exasperation. The unbelievably dramatic di- person had flooded the topmost floors of the almost finished new building with used frying oil through the sprinkler system and set it on fire. Roman smelled like fat and was covered in grease and ready to tear his own hair out.
Startled, the villain had stopped in his tracks.
Half turning to him and staring at him through the mask covering most of his pale features, he seemed to struggle to find the right words. His voice was as deep as he remembered from all of the horrifying videos put together by his team he’d watched obsessively, yet, it held an incredulous edge to it.
“You cannot be serious. How dare you refer to me as impossible, you simple fool?”
Deeply offended, Roman forgot about his struggles with the cable and instead flailed his arms in outrage.
“I am not the one constantly ruining everyone’s day by kidnapping people or setting things on fire or blowing up perfectly good structures or almost drowning me in frying fat!” He’d screeched. The ever-polite voice in his earpiece was quickly going from asking him to stop to begging him to.
Flabbergasted, the Utilitarianist fully turned from the helicopter hovering above him where he’d usually would have swung his body up gracefully to make his escape.
“I am not executing my plans in order to be a mere nuisance to you, you selfish welp. My organization is attempting to save the planet from the certain destruction our thoughtless actions are bringing about. You ought to return to your cameras to perform your monkey dance for the press and allow the adults to bring about the revolution we are in desperate need of.”
Monkey dance?
Never, in his whole life, had Roman been this insulted.
“You- you unbelievable, impossible, infuriating villain – how could you dare to- I am attempting to save the world! You are trying to destroy it!” He’d howled, flailing uselessly with frustrated energy.
His righteous claim seemed to rile up the terrorist even more. Taking a few steps towards him over the cement that was starting to heat with the flames beneath them, he jabbed his finger at him.
“How do you manage to be such an irritation while having no idea what it actually is I am doing? Your stupidity awes me!”
“My stupidity?! How is it not stupid to claim to want to save the world and then divide it by causing fear and hate? Don’t you know how to be nice or are you just pathologically evil?!”
“Are you seriously insinuating you believe I am the stupid one? You must have suffered a concussion during your infancy! I will not be lectured by a man who believes the world will be saved by selling topless calendars and who attempts to catch me in heeled boots!”
The villain’s rant was interrupted as a sneaker hit his head from above. His supporters were exasperatedly waving at him to climb into the helicopter they had been screaming over before the police managed to arrest them, just as Roman’s operator had frantically urged him to free his leg and catch the man standing mere feet from him.
Needless to say, Team Utilitarianist vs Team Dreamer was trending on twitter the next day, along with the hashtag #savetheworldtopless and #justpathologicallyevil.
Also, his poor operator quit.
Roman felt guilty for getting into an argument and behaving unprofessionally, but somehow, he felt like it had also gotten him closer to understanding the other man. He wasn’t a faceless monster but a person one could talk to – if a truly irritating and rude one – and people could be changed. Roman was good at convincing others of his position. His bright, attractive smile, warm and sweet manners and his polite reasoning had brought plenty of people around. Despite the continued threat of an escalation between the Utilitarianist’s supporters and his opposition, most people still liked Roman.
He brought the idea up at a team meeting, believing he’d finally found a way to work more effectively. However, he was turned down gently. They gave him to understand that he had misjudges the villain and that his attempts to negotiate with terrorists could have disastrous consequences. Chastised and feeling like a child make a dumb suggestion at the dinner table, he gave up. Still, despite his best intentions, he wound up arguing with the other again and again.
Their rivalry came to a crescendo when one of their fights once again distracted both of them. He had no idea why this man managed to make his blood boil this much with his talk about superior logic and necessity. Necessity his ass. (Roman would of course never say such a thing out loud, but still.)
They’d gotten caught in their argument about the effect of the Utilitarianist’s crimes on the families of the victims – a topic that made Roman especially passionate – when a heated pipe transporting steam from a coal-fired power station burst above the villain’s head, threating to burn his skin right off.
Acting on pure instinct, Roman had jumped the three meters separating them after the runway had been blown to bits and pushed the villain to the ground, shielding him with his body. He hadn’t even known he could jump this far, but he knew the painful burns over his back would heal on him. On the Utilitarianist, they would be fatal.
He’d regained consciousness in the ambulance, learning that the villain had apparently carried him there. His sneer had chased everyone away. Before the police was able to gather their courage to apprehend the man who had become more legend than person, he’d disappeared in the shadows.
They had been fighting each other for almost two years now.
While he recovered, his father visited him. He hadn’t seen him in months. Roman understood he was doing important work, though. It was alright. Sadly, his father had not been as pleased as he had so desperately hoped.
“Son, I want you to explain something to me.” He’d demanded. Despite being the strongest man in the whole facility and a beloved hero, Roman felt like a frightened child immediately.
“Of course, father.” He’d muttered, drawing his knees close in his sterile hospital bed. His back burned terribly, yet he showed no pain, like he’d learned.
“What on earth were you thinking when you saved this terrorist? You had him where you wanted him. This could all be over but instead you’re damaged and he’s running free.”
The rebuke hurt sharply. Swallowing, Roman tried to explain his reasoning he’d never thought he’d have to defend. The place was filled with people who were supposed to support him, yet he felt entirely alone.
“Yes, father. I’m sorry. But… he would have died. I- I mean- the Dreamer is supposed to be a hero. He has to save people and bring criminals to justice, not-”
“You’re not a police officer, son. You have one task to perform, and that is not to save random people but to stop the Utilitarianist. You can’t kill him – that would make you look bad, but if you can’t catch him, you’ll stop him another way. This would have been the perfect opportunity. You need to decide if you have what it takes or if you weren’t the right choice after all. Next time this chance presents itself, you let this god damn terrorist die instead of spreading his filth from a luxury prison.” His father had barked at him before leaving him alone to fear losing everything he’d bled for. Everything he’d become. Without the Dreamer, he had no idea who he was.
He’d hugged his knees to his chest and tried to breathe through the terror.
He couldn’t stop wondering, though. Was this really what the Dreamer was? He’d tried too hard to keep the peace and catch the Utilitarianist when there were other things he could be doing. They’d told him to leave the crime fighting to the police. His image was the most powerful thing about him. Superman couldn’t concern himself with petty thieves either, after all.
Wonderwoman would, he thought defiantly.
And yet, the Utilitarianist had made him think. He hadn’t left him to die either. Could he be a hero that allowed the villain to die when he’d saved him in return?
His doubts wouldn’t leave him alone until eventually, he chose to do what he was most afraid of. He went against the advice of his team.
He’d been sitting around for months, while the Utilitarianist had been busy attacking the Hong-Kong Stock market. Roman quietly wondered why he was never dispatched to other countries to help. His nemesis had stopped limiting himself to the States long ago. Just last week, he’d wrapped the Burj Khalifa in a huge, blood-red banner that apparently refused to come off as a statement accompanying his latest attacks against rich, emirate capitalists keeping immigrants as modern slaves and straining their buildings with their metaphorical blood. The following riots had filled the city for days.
Yes, he knew America’s intervention was not popular and had couldn’t cause a diplomatic mess, but there were people there who needed him too! Perhaps his team was worried he’d upset someone by remarking that the conditions of those workers truly were less than glittery.
He could keep his mouth shut though, if that meant he could help! For example the civilians stuck in a hostage situation in a bank in Mexico. There were children there, and a pregnant woman with her wife! The standoff with the police had lasted for two days already, with no end (or a bloody end) in sight. Finally, he proposed a tactical plan to his supervisors he was quite proud of. It would work, for sure! His ill-mannered, ill-tempered new operator Virgil had grumpily hacked the bank’s database and gotten him the floor plans as well as control over the security systems and cameras. He could be in and out in less than half an hour, dragging some hostage takers with him. The longer he’d uselessly chased the Utilitarianist, the more helpless he felt. His powers were growing every day Roman was idle. People coordinated and acted for him all over the world. Even without his interference, his idea was taking flight. Roman may be America’s darling, but he was growing more impotent and useless every day he spent as a glorified symbol of American values. This was the right thing to do, he felt it. He had to breathe new life into the idea of the Dreamer. He had to be a proper hero again.
The idealistic young man felt like he’d been punched in the gut when his plan was discarded like a child’s idea once again.
Being denied was something he could handle, he was used to it, yet this time, there was something different about it. Instead of the usual, fatherly patience and kind amusement at his misplaced enthusiasm, he was told off curtly. Without results, Roman was losing their favor.
Feeling unsteady, he shuffled onto the cold light of the corridor of their underground base. Despite his terror of losing the place he called home, the reporting about the children held hostage would not stop replaying in his head. He’d been told watching the news would only upset him and he should rather rely on the updates they cut together for him, but he was starting to think he would only have found out about the situation far too late when irritated reporters would have asked him where he was when the children were shot. He couldn’t let it come to that!
“Slinking home with your tail between your legs?” The scathing voice of Virgil growled at him from the shadows. Roman jumped, startled despite his extensive training. He swore the emo acted like he was aiming to become a villain himself. He certainly disliked Roman enough. Despite trying not to show it, Roman had always dealt badly with being disliked. It made him anxious and insecure. He wanted Virgil to like him, despite his manners.
Puffing up his chest like a proud peacock, Roman readied himself to defend his honor, when he noticed the disappointed slump of the other’s shoulders. Though he’d complained, he’d worked hard on their plan. A new resolve warmed his insides.
“No. I’m not backing off. I’m taking a running start.” He’d promised, before striding down the corridor and grabbing a startled Virgil’s wrist on the way. He still needed that one.
Leaving the facility on his own, without planning or permission, felt oddly like breaking out of prison. They had a lot of sneaking about to do, but once they were safely over the border, he felt… freed.
*
The armed robbers were no match for the quiet, cat-like stride of the trained hero. He caught one after the other, knocking them out with ease. This was far simpler than fighting a man like the Utilitarianist.
Claudia, the pregnant woman, was in urgent need of medical attention, so Roman carried her out of the building in his arms. One of the little girls hung off his shoulder, pulling on his costume in awe, while the other hostages followed his tall form into the sunlight and flashing lights of the cameras. Surprised exclamations greeted them, before the crowd erupted in ecstasy. Roman barely managed to calm them. He hadn’t been greeted with such honest joy in so long, he was utterly baffled by their adoration. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was thick with emotion.
“Fellow citizens of the world, I have realized that the time for borders is behind us! In these frightening times we must understand that our differences are mere illusions, stand together and give each other hope. Our love and belief in each other shall prevail over evil!”
“Fuck yeah!” Virgil whooped in his ear. It was the first time he’d heard the other sound happy.
Real, honest pride filled him. Finally, he was what he was supposed to be.
*
The atmosphere in the underground compound changed. Roman felt the shift, the tension around himself clearly and suffered it with disappointment. It was like being home again. A child whose childishness was barely tolerated. Quiet and shy and feeling unwanted.
Despite the repeated attempts to impress the importance of following his team’s directions, he planned and executed more mission with Virgil. He was his one saving grace. Since he was actually starting to make a difference, the two men felt more at ease with each other. Though they were mostly bickering with each other, Roman had found someone to rely on. His fluttering nerves around the moody man calmed, allowing him to fall back on the safety of the Dreamer’s personality less and less. They were a team of two now, instead of the pride of the Conglomerate. It was alright. He was one more person than Roman used to have.
The success they had encouraged him further. The Utilitarianist had published information about a human trafficking ring and left the rest to the public to deal with. How irresponsible! People would take it upon themselves to play vigilante and get hurt!
Virgil ran the data through his clever programs and determined the most likely targets for Roman. Together, they rescued a group of Philippine women from an armed gang, saved a child from the hands of their parents taking money from strangers to spend time with her and captured a number of members of organized crime selling kidnapped women to the highest bidder. All but one of their targets were apprehended within the week.
The Dreamer became a hero again. His global popularity shot through the roof.
The renewed attention softened his team and superiors to him. Slowly, he could feel their mood changing. They tried to support him in his quests.
“You two have been doing such a good job on your own. But it’s about time we step up again and help guide you, dear. We can’t have you unintentionally support the Utilitarianist again and validate his message, can we?” Karen had told him kindly. Roman hadn’t considered the fact that he’d unwittingly cooperated with the Utilitarianist by acting on his intel. Already, people were taking up the idea of them growing to be a team. He was an idiot. His team could have prevented this mistake.
Discouraged, Roman tried to follow their advice more closely again. He was truly glad to be back in their good graces and have their support again.
“It’ll be alright, my gloomy friend.” He’d assured Virgil. “We convinced them of our ideas, now we can all be together again and avoid silly mistakes. We can do good things together!”
“We were doing good things, man.” He’d growled, hunching his narrow shoulders. Roman had sworn to himself to help him feel more accepted in the team. He’d never wanted anyone to feel as isolated as he had most of his life.
To his horror, the mistake he’d made was developing a life on its own, though. The Utilitarianist was already a favorite of the LGBTQ+ community and soon consolidated his place by rescuing a group of gay rights activists from a Russian prison. The images of him pulling a pink haired woman into his helicopter while an androgynous person proudly raised a large rainbow flag billowing behind him was taking over the internet by storm. The Utilitarianist was becoming a gay icon and he wasn’t doing anything to contradict the claim. The outline of his masked image painted in rainbow, asexual, lesbian or bisexual flag colors was sprayed on walls all over the word. And because Roman kept being drawn into discussions, because Roman had saved him and because he’d now acted on his behalf, following his direct call for action, a lot of people had started imagining them to be more than they were. They were publicly ‘shipping’ them.
Roman had been beyond horrified and humiliated as his sympathetic team had put together a dossier of the things people on the internet thought he’d do. They truly believed he’d subject himself to be the Utilitarianist’s pet or that the older man could overpower and capture him, tie Roman up and-
He’d been unable to keep looking at the pictures and horrible, humiliating stories published for all to see. How could he allow this to happen? This was what people saw in him after he’d allowed himself to be experimented on, cut apart and be put back together and worked so hard to give them something to believe in?
Deeply mortified, he’d fled to his room. The dossier of sinful, deprived actions people thought him capable of was saved on his tablet and seemed to burn a hole into his confidence even as it innocently sat on his desk.
A knock on his door made him flinch. He couldn’t be seen right now!
Virgil had never cared about politeness, though. Letting himself in despite the lack of a reaction, he’d settled on the bed next to the curled up hero.
“Hey. Um, so I saw the dossier.”
Roman groaned, hiding his burning face. He’d never even looked at porn, so seeing himself pictured on his knees, the villain’s hand in his hair, about to- oh god. This was out there. The Utilitarianist would see it and think- irrational fear of things he hadn’t ever considered the other capable of mixed with the humiliation and made Roman tremble.
“It’s not like that, dude.” Virgil promised softly, placing a hesitant hand on his shoulder.
“What’s to misunderstand?” Roman growled bitterly. “I know you all think I’m not smart enough to understand, but there’s really nothing to mix up this time!”
“Don’t say something like that, man! You’re much smarter than they make you believe! They just want you to stop thinking for yourself!” A frustrated growl escaped Virgil. Pulling uselessly on the powerful man’s shoulder, he tried to get him to look up.
“They showed you the worst of the kinky shit horny people come up with, but most isn’t like that. Shipping isn’t about subjugation and- and bondage porn. It’s about liking two people and rooting for them, despite any opposition. People just care about both of you, even if you’re on different sides. It just shows that most of them aren’t as black and white as they all say. They aren’t the perfect, traditional families on the cereal boxes and they aren’t the masked activists throwing Molotov cocktails either. They’re just people who like some of both of your positions and they like you and him and what they like most is the idea of you two burying this feud and stop fighting. They want what you want, when it comes down to it, dude. For the arguing to end and people to just get along. I’m not making this up, look!”
Finally, his energetic pulling made Roman have mercy on him and miserably and fearfully look at the tablet he was shoving in his face. If he had to see another drawing of himself struggling in chains while the Utilitarianist groped him he thought he might throw up.
It really wasn’t like that, though. The Ecosia search bar simply showed the search for Dreamer/Utilitarianist and the pictures were… cute, actually. Feeling his rabbit fast heart slow down, he tentatively scrolled through the images. There was a photoshopped argument of both of them before the rainbow flag under the caption #married.
Next to it, Roman spotted a dynamic he hadn’t found in the dossier at all. It was him, draw with glitter in his hair and perfect, gleaming smile, dipping the Utilitarianist in a dramatic pose. A flush was painted on the older man’s pale features under the mask.
Beside it, both of them were drawn out of uniform, dressed like ordinary people with Roman in a lovely shirt and scarf and his nemesis in an honest to god sweater vest. They were strolling through a park, holding hands.
Another picture showed Roman reclining on a couch, cuddling the other between his legs. The Utilitarianist was battling papers and a tablet and complaining about something while Roman was ignoring him in favor of the music playing on his headphones. His expression was indulgent.
A large, detailed full colored digital painting divided in two halves portrayed the Utilitarianist on one side obviously arguing passionately in front of a wall of pictures, maps and red string while Roman stood on the other side, gesticulating in front of an equally cluttered wall containing cute postcards and balloons and a unicorn pinata. Again, #married titled the picture.
He found an interpretation of their fights depicting them as a golden retriever and a sleek black shepherd, yapping at each other.
Then, a picture of himself standing proudly before a group of happy, butch lesbians next to his nemesis who was accompanied by cute, femme ladies giggling and holding onto his arms. #lesbian.icons was scrawled sideways between them. Roman felt a surge of protectiveness for these women immediately. He was awed that they actually wanted him to be there for them.
A little smile lit up his features quite unconsciously.
The pencil drawing on lined paper clearly made by a child showed both of them simply hugging.
A t-shirt was printed with photos of them cut together before a bright, starry universe.
Comic panels made their younger versions bump into each other at a college library, dressed as a football player and nerd respectively.
There were screenshots on gray background about short, funny dialogues they never actually had.
Roman’s gaze got caught by a digital drawing in soft hues. It was him, leaning over the villain, his hand cupping the angular jaw, kissing the attractive, masked man as the other melted against him. Both of them were drawn with such attention to detail, almost lovingly.
None of the search result showed Roman degraded, captured, used.
Aside from the one where he was dangling upside down, flailing at the villain who was apparently attempting to show him a detailed power-point presentation about his plans. Roman laughed wetly through the tears he’d been suppressing. It looked like something the arrogant know-it-all would try.
“I don’t understand.” He muttered, glancing at his own tablet, filled with data carefully compiled for him.
Virgil’s gaze was worried.
“I guess there are things they’d rather you don’t see, for whatever reasons. Maybe you’ll let me double check the info they give you from now on, man. I get unrestricted internet.”
“Oh. I didn’t know the internet here was restricted.” Roman muttered softly. His head was buzzing. He huddled closer to Virgil, gazing at the images without really seeing them. He felt like everything he knew was shaken in its foundations.
‘****************************
Roman is starting to realize how much his information was manipulated, how exciting! The next chapter is promising to be a lot more fun (and angsty), actually! There will be bickering and romance! I already got started on it. Please let me know if you want to be tagged! And remember, reblogs help writers ;)
(Spoilers from after I wrote the next chapter - it wasn’t more fun. BUT it will be)
The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain an Analysis? Chapter 2! Part 2
All portions:
Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
The Dreamer
@whatwashernameagain
As always, Spoilers under cut.
To jump right in we start off with Roman’s father. Eva writes: “Astonishingly, his father hadn’t scoffed at him as he’d passionately pleaded his case. The paper in his hands had been filled with speculations about the black clad silhouette barely caught on camera. The elderly republicans rightfully arguing against him had been banished to page eight, pushed aside by the intriguing puzzle the anonymous terrorist presented” (Whatwashernameagain).
We get a bit of more insight into Roman’s father, though he’s not nearly as flushed out as Logan or Roman, with good reason. He is, after all, a secondary character. First off, as with many works, the things that aren’t said are just as important as what is. Eva mentions that the front page focus’ on the Utilitarianist, with the Republicans are pushed to page eight. We know that Roman’s father is apart of the Republican party and as such this means that he is pushed aside by the public in favor of the Utilitarianist. And the fact that she mentions the paper at all, being held in Roman’s father’s hands shows that he is invested in the issue. A man who works in politics obviously would be quite upset when such an upstart outshines him in the media especially if he is in the middle of a campaign. So, the mention of the paper in general brings attention to the man’s ambitious nature and self-centered nature.
As for Roman, well, we gain a bit of hope for the man when the work mentions that his father didn’t turn up his nose at the other man’s passionate pleading. We know that at this point Roman’s only aspiration in life is to gain his father’s approval. Despite the fact that we consider this venture misguided, the reader is invested in Roman’s well being and happiness after Chapter 1 so, we can’t help but hope that he has achieved his goal. Because we love him.
“He’d looked at Roman as if he’d never truly seen him before. As if he was something of value. For the first time in years, the young man had his father’s full attention. It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of – bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain). Poor, poor Roman… My baby… This once again, paints more of a picture of Roman, than his father. This is Roman’s POV after all. We see Roman’s father looking at him as if it were for the first time. Which implies that the attention Roman has always yearned for was never there in the first place. Sure, this had been implied before, but it hasn’t been truly pointed out until now. Roman’s father has done nothing but neglect and ignore him. Its no wonder Roman is starved for attention and understand; it’s no wonder that he is so naïve. His father has barely acknowledged his existence his entire life because Roman has never been particularly useful. I mentioned during my analysis of Chapter 1, Logan’s analogy of a ‘thorn in his shoe’ when referring to Roman but that analogy would not fit for Roman’s father… A thorn would give Roman far too much of an actual presence. No, Roman to his father is far less than a thorn. He is gravel on a warn path. He is meant to be stepped on in favor of pursuing his ambitions, only acknowledged when it makes enough noise to catch the attention of the person walking. His only purpose is to smooth out the road to success and nothing more.
This also brings attention to Logan, by simple contrast. Logan is supposed to be the cold unemotional villain of this story, but he doesn’t pull it off… at least not really. When Roman eventually grows close to the logical man, he no doubt sees a bit of his father in Logan. They are both distanced and calculating, they hold their heads up high and seem to criticize the world, they both are ambitious and driven. This comparison is no doubt attractive to Roman. He has wanted his father’s attention and affection his entire life, has seen him as a great man. When he meets Logan and truly begins to understand that Logan has a good heart deep down, I believe he begins to truly compare the two whether consciously or not. The difference is that Logan truly /is/ good at heart. We saw it at differing points throughout Chapter 1; his relief when Roman saves that girl, his compassion for Roman, himself, the fact that he had saved him from his captor before. Roman has seen first hand that Logan truly does care but never his father. All he has to ‘prove’ his father’s good heart is the man’s words which honestly doesn’t amount to much.
This also brings me back to something I mentioned in Chapter 1 as well: We, as humans, define things through comparison, without bad we’d never understand what good is and vice versa. We don’t know what Red is without comparing it to other colors. Roman’s father is bad, plain and simple, but he does not know this… not yet anyways. Its not until he sees the parallel between his father and Logan that he begins to see what could be… What a man with his father’s demeanor who actually cares can look like. Logan provides him with the hope he has always looked for in his father, the acknowledgment. Sure, Logan acts as if Roman is beneath him, which Roman is use to, but at the same time he provides Roman with the attention he has been starved for, attention from a man Roman respects. Despite Logan’s claims of seeing Roman as beneath him, Logan has treated him as an equal, going toe to toe with him, arguing with him… Roman has never had this; we see proof of that by his lack of self esteem and the way he talks about how he asks stupid questions or makes ignorant suggestions. No one has ever treated him as valued or taken him, as a person, into consideration… until Logan. Logan is his hope. Even the public, after he becomes The Dreamer, doesn’t see him as person but as celebrity. He is valued, yes, but not as himself, only as the persona he is taught to be; granted The Dreamer is apart of him, a big part, but he is more than just the name.
This also might be why Roman is so focused on the individual rather than saving the masses. Being accepted and appreciated by a large group of people feels less personal than the acceptance and love of an individual. If I had the choice to be loved by millions or loved by a few I would probably choose the few, though that is just me. My point is, by focusing on the individual Roman provides them something he never had; attention, affection, acceptance, value, and protection. The next line helps underline what I mean: “It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of—bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain).
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
“He felt worth something for the first time as his father rose and walked around him, taking in his tall frame, filling in well from the workouts he tried to burn frustrated energy with, the sparkling green eyes, the luscious curls, the strong cheekbones and attractive features. There was no denying that Roman was handsome. A figure to be displayed, as long as he kept his mouth shut” (Whatwashernameagain).
Okay… So… I’m really conflicted with the rest of this paragraph. Its just… I have so many feelings. First off, The imagery here is beautiful: Roman’s father is circling him, examining him as if he were some show dog in a competition and in a way he is. Roman’s father only has time for things he considers useful and up until now, Roman was not useful. However, as a show dog he could be quite handy, and his father is realizing this now. The cold calculating gaze Eva describes as he examines his son provides that image. It is skillfully done which is why I am conflicted. On one hand, the talent she shows her makes me love the passage; on the other it also makes me hate Roman’s father even more. Roman is not some show pony to be placed on display and tossed aside once he completed his performance… We are meant to dislike Roman’s father and she has accomplished that goal.
The story moves on describing Logan’s movements; stating that they grew more frequent, showing the media’s support for The Utilitarianist. We’re reminded at a certain point that we are still in Roman’s POV, however, with “The liberal media was lapping up [Logan’s] speeches, stilted and uncreative as they may be” (Whatwashernameagain). This provides the reader with the reminder that at this point Roman still wasn’t very fond of the man. It also brings back the fact that Roman is a bit over the top; calling Logan’s speeches ‘stilted and uncreative’. This line also provides a contrast between the villain and hero. In fact, this line is a direct parallel to Logan’s words about the Hero’s speeches:
“The worst, however, were the speeches. He knew very well how much the media loved him with his uniform accentuating his broad shoulders and his lush, caramel hair, his blinding smile and perfect, tan skin. He was a nuisance, is what he was trying to say” (Whatwashernameagain).
The direct comparison is nice and so subtly done (though I’m not sure she meant to do it… idk) that it is beautifully executed. Once again, the reader’s attention is pulled to the stark contrast between the two men. Logan’s thoughts on The Dreamer’s speeches are obviously molded towards glamor and aesthetics… which is in part The Dreamer’s purpose. Its obvious that Logan views the man as air headed and just a pretty face which is what Roman’s father is, in fact, using him as. While Roman views Logan’s speeches as cold and uncreative, lacking the glamor Logan obviously has a distaste for.
This also provides a glimpse at the contrasting tones between the POVs which I have continuously praised Eva’s talents on. Logan’s thoughts are far more aggressive in tone, almost angry, which really suits the Utilitarianist’s persona. Someone who is willing to do just terrible things to right the world no doubt has quite a lot of anger residing in them. While, Roman’s view points are more gentle and needy. He needs affirmation, affection, acceptance. His criticism on the villain’s speeches are not very harsh in the least, which is not surprising coming from such a kind soul, but at the same time, they are as harsh as Roman gets really. In essences he is calling Logan’s speeches ‘tacky’ which is a huge insult to a man like Roman even if they seem gentle to the rest of use. The aggression from Logan and the gentle insults from Roman make the two such perfect opposites that it is both endearing and heartwarming. I love it.
We also see in the next few lines the implied influence Roman’s father has on him. Logan’s destructive agenda threatening to ‘destroy the moral of the good society and plunge them all into anarchy’ and the people of ‘the greatest country in the world’ showing their resolve. As children we are taught to believe what our parents want us to believe and that is obvious the case for Roman as well. He believes these things but for those of us living in the U.S. we recognize the same regurgitated words that the Republican party uses every year. Roman is no doubt so driven to please his father that he doesn’t stop to question if these are his beliefs or his father’s. At least… not yet…
Something that Roman says does catch my eye; he states that “A revolution was on its way” (Whatwashernameagain). Could this be another foreshadowing? I would say so. We know that something happened at the end of Chapter 1 to injure Roman in such a horrible way and the fact that he said that he didn’t know where else to go implies that he didn’t trust his father. A revolution is surely coming but not in the way the Roman thinks here. He has his own revolution he is going to have to deal with and the country isn’t going to be the one to help him.
The story moves on describing how Roman’s father had created a community of wealthy ‘caring’ American patriots ready to sacrifice everything for their ‘traditional values’. Once again, this feeds into Roman’s delusions about his father and his father’s values. It is obvious that his naivety is still securely in place if he sees these things as brave or heroic. He talks about experiments on soldiers that are meant to fight for America’s future… How could that be alright? But Roman is blinded by his love for his father and his need to be valued to he steps up to the plate and volunteers.
The next para however, pulls us back to the optimistic Roman we know and love and the presence of thought that will no doubt be the cause of his revolution and the very thing that is used against him to make him the tool his father needs:
“They needed someone his fellow citizens could look up to. Someone who would stand up to the terror caused in these insecure times. Someone kind and strong and good to give them hope for a better future. A future Roman believed in with all his heart. Humans were amazing creatures! The feats they had accomplished awed the young man and deep down, he believed they could solve their problems together. He trusted their combined creativity, love and unity to save this planet in the end” (Whatwashernameagain).
This is the image Roman wants to be, the image he believes he can be; the person he does not see himself as right now but yearns to make of himself even if it is just a persona. The fact is, however, he is already this person he just needs to be strong enough to embrace it, something he is currently incapable of due to his obsession with his father’s approval. I don’t know about the rest of you but I learned a while ago that every individual has the power to change the world and it is not as hard as they would originally think. It takes a kind word or action to inspire the next and the more you provide the world the more it gives. The catch is… More often than not… you’ll never see the plant that your seeds grow into. All you can do is plant the seeds and how that what ever comes out of them is good. A single word can save a person’s life. A single action can change a perspective. We as people just have to be strong enough to face our own demons and decide to say that word or do that thing. /That/ is not easy. /That/ might be more difficult than you can believe but once you’ve decided to try then every step afterwards becomes easier. The only thing that holds us back from being the change is ourselves. People can make a thousand excuses as to why they don’t do something and typically it is blaming someone or something else but, in the end, … The only power someone else has over you is the power you allow them to have. Someone hating me isn’t going to affect me unless I allow it to. My car breaking down isn’t going to ruin my day unless I allow it… I am not saying that this mentality is easy its not. It’s the hardest thing in the world to force yourself out of your own way… but after you do it once… twice… Three times… Eventually it becomes second nature and there is nothing stopping you from becoming the person you’ve always wanted; becoming the change; becoming the light.
**Note: This is not belittling Mental Illness or any other issues. This is a very simplistic version of this train of thought.
Roman in this case is the only thing standing between himself and the person he wants to be is himself and his need for acceptance from his father. It is sad to see but it is obvious that his heart is where it needs to be, he just has to get over the hurtle, the need for that acceptance. The need is reinforced as Roman talks about his father’s complaints about ‘hostile foreign countries’, ‘leftist propaganda and lying media dividing them’ … Once again, it is something a lot of Americans here from the political parties and honestly I’m impressed by how accurately Eva captures this when considering that she does not live in America.
In the same para we turn back to Roman’s views; Roman wanted to unite the world, to give them something to believe in, to fend off fear, to sew trust rather than fear. It provides a beautiful contrast between the man Roman is and his father, despite the belief’s Roman holds. We also see the uncharacteristic self confidence that he don’t see in regular Roman: “Peace was a possibility if they only believed. And he knew he could give them this belief” (Whatwashernameagain). Once again, we get brief snippets of The Dreamer that we know is inside Roman but haven’t seen much of in the Chapter as of yet.
Now we move onto the rough part of Roman’s past. The experiments begin. “For months, he subjected himself to test, procedures and surgery with no complaints. He saw no daylight for almost half a year as his father’s and his partner’s scientists, the people who worked for the Conglomerate, did their best to make him worth putting their faith in” (Whatwashernameagain). We see Roman’s astonishing resolve as he puts himself through these things ‘with no complains’. We see his lack of self esteem as he describes the scientists as ‘doing their best to make him /worth/ putting their faith in’. It really makes me want to scream at him but… Lets move on. This also gives another insight into just how horrible a father Roman’s dad really is. What kind of father would put his son through such torture? The kind that is just using him for his own gain and truly doesn’t give a damn. This cements that Roman is nothing but a tool to the man. Roman, however, in his sweet naivety views the process as ‘glorious’ despite his agony because it is something, he believes will gain him his father’s praise… his pride… his acceptance… Poor, poor naïve Roman.
My anger jumps once more with the next line: “As he saw him again, months after being sent to the research facility” (Whatwashernameagain). No! Fuck that! This bastard just sent his son off to be tortured and experimented on and didn’t even drop by to check on him. I get that you love him Roman but you’re an idiot and I love you for it. As soon as he was able to walk without appearing to be in pain they began to groom him for the media, implying once more that image is everything and to Roman’s father, it is.
Her is a young man that would do anything to gain his father’s approval, gain the world’s trust. He’s willing to be tortured in order to make the world a better place for everyone. This is a true hero. Even before The Dreamer is created Roman is an inspiration and no doubt when Logan finds out about all this Roman is going to have one hell of a time convincing him not to slaughter his father and everyone else involved. Even after all of this torture Roman is eager to do his father’s bidding and go after Logan, and the ‘psychological damage’ he as inflicting on Roman’s precious country. It is noble and says quite a lot about Roman’s perseverance and care. Honestly it reminds me a lot of Patton. Both of these sides are capable of so much love… Patton is just more open about it while Roman expresses it in a more prideful manner.
“Roman humbly accepted the choices of those smarter than him. He worked hard on his enunciation, his posture, his all-American accent, so they would deem him ready faster. The terrorist was growing more and more dangerous every day. His acts were growing more sophisticated, his public appearances increased from flashes of a tall, slender form caught by cameras, to manifestos read in a passionate, though clearly untrained voice over the internet. And now, he’d killed for the first time” (Whatwashernameagain).
Once again we are faced with Roman’s lack of self confidence though I’m just going to touch on that and move on because the comparison between our favorite hero and villain is back again. Roman is filling out his persona as best he can, working on his accent and posture, getting himself ready for the big leagues. Logan is doing the same, though in a different way. The villain doesn’t put much weight into public appearances, so these things do no matter to him. No, he’s moving up in the world by improving his strategies and going bigger and bigger. The pinnacle of his work being his first kill while Roman’s is being camera ready. It just goes to emphasis the difference between the two once more. Roman’s team are more focused on appearance rather than substance while Logan is getting his hands dirty…. Once again two sides of the same coin but their difference are no doubt mean to feed the revolution Roman is no doubt about to face.
*****
Alright children, I meant to write more but I am off to work. See you in part 3
Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.
Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-1?is_related_post=1.
Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 2.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-2?is_related_post=1.
The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? (Part 1 cuz it was a lot longer than expected)
All portions:
Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
Okay so first off… I get asked a lot what I can do with a forty-thousand-dollar degree in Literature when the job economy is so crap… Answer: Lay awake at 2AM analyzing your favorite fanfic authors. So, here we are. Before I begin however, I wanted to make a few things clear: First, if you have not read any of @whatwashernameagain’s work I highly recommend you do so. She is very talented. You can find her on archiveofourown here; and The Dreamer Chapter 1 here. Secondly, I realize that most authors don’t look into their work as deeply as the reader does when writing an analysis and that a red door may simply be a red door… but where is the fun in that? And Lastly, there will be spoilers… So… Beware! (Also it is a Sanders Sides fanfic so check out Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders on youtube as well if you haven’t already)
WARNING: Spoilers under cut!!
I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the literary theory of Reader Response (its pretty much exactly what it sounds like) but I’ll probably be addressing it throughout this post. In fact here and here great introductions to the literary theory; which can be defined in its most broad sense, as a criticism that “considers readers’ reaction to literature as vital to interpreting the meaning of the text” (Purdue Writing Lab). Not very clear is it? Basically, Reader Response is the concept that readers have just as much say in what the work means as the author does. In other words, “readers do not passively consume the meaning present to them by an objective literary text; rather they actively make the meaning they find in literature” (Purdue Writing Lab). Without the author there is no reader and without the reader there is no author.
That’s probably a lot of mumbo jumbo to take in but I’ve studied so many literary approaches that it is merely a glimpse into the stuff rattling around in my brain when I read any type of work. I don’t tell you any of this to flex or show how smart I am… …. Well… not really anyways lol. I am explaining this now because it will be important later in the post. Now! Onto the really fun stuff!
CHAPTER 1 (Again spoilers!)
Okay, going into the work I knew the premise: Superhero vs. Villain eventually becoming friends and even lovers. I’m totes down! However, Eva (the author (Whatwashernameagain) never ceases to pull in the reader from the first line!
“He’d chosen to call himself the Utilitarianist, the etymology of which was clearly derived from the Latin word ‘utilis’, meaning ‘useful’” (Whatwashernameagain).
First off! The italics are beautiful! They pull attention to the fact that whoever it is that is naming himself (*cough* Logan *cough*) has already shunned the outer world. He doesn’t care what others have to say. He is deciding this for himself. The sheer amount of strength in a single word because she used italics is stunning and I’m certain she doesn’t even realize what she has done.
Moving on to the actual name is another thing entirely. I know that ‘Utilitarianism’ is defined as “the ethical doctrine that virtue is based on utility, and that conduct should be directed toward promoting the greatest happiness of the greatest number of persons” (“Utilitarianism”). So first, this screams Logan, secondly there is a lot to be said for the name choice. While, the hero/villain’s goal is obvious by the name (doing acts that are for the ‘greater good’) there is a lot to be said for personality here. Obviously, it can be taken that whoever chose this name is insecure in a way; only taking value of themselves by how useful they are. The man no doubts feels as if he is only as valuable as the contributions he makes, which is certainly relatable. So, within the first sentence we learn quite a lot about a single individual and are already drawn in… then again, that’s Eva for you.
Within the next paragraph we learn that the he is in fact a ‘villain’ though I like to think of him more as a… misguided vigilante… but Logan is my bea… so… yeah. Once again, we see italics: “They called him a villain” (Whatwashernameagain). It pulls the reader’s attention to the separation the Utilitarianist is making between himself and the outside world. The feeling of loneliness just from the two italicized words is almost suffocating, at least to me (hence Reader-Response theory). Eva always has such a way with capturing emotions so subtly its breath taking. It certainly is one of her biggest strengths. I mean, here we are not even two sentences in and I’m already moved by the isolation of the villain.
Moving on down the line, we see that the Utilitarianist feels he is doing good for the world… sees himself as a hero rather than the villain the world sees him as. Eva also begins to apply descriptors to the not-villain. “Cold and infallible logic” is used to describe his work. Knowing Sanders Sides as I do its obvious that at this point, I have an assumption as to which character the Utilitarian is (and I’ve already read the work once or twice) but this practically cements it. The reason I bring these four little words to your attention however is the simplicity of them and the giant impact they have. Just as the italics spoke volumes so does this small excerpt. The loneliness I mentioned before only grows with these words, becoming an image of shivering, icy fingers reaching out for someone who isn’t there, the only thing keeping him warm is his own logical calculations…. Its… so heartbreaking… Damn it Eva!!! T.T
Within the next paragraph however we’re moving on to a more light-hearted tone as the Utilitarianist calls the world small minded and unable to understand his ‘superior logic’ (Whatwashername). That, in and of itself, gives way to more personality, breathing more life into the previously abstract character and making him more human… though far less humble lol.
I feel as if I really need to move a bit more quickly through this work to keep this post from getting to long but… Eva’s work with emotional subtext is so stunning I can’t help myself. We’ve moved from the first sentence drawing attention to the separation of the Utilitarianist from the public’s view of him, to the lonely cool logic behind his actions and now within the next few sentences were pulled into a whirlwind of frustration and all of it is so seamless. It may seem like something small and inconsequential but there are published best-selling authors that struggle with it regularly and she manages it so flawlessly (and if I had to guess, without even really thinking about it.
The frustration I mention above is visible through the way the Utilitarianist uses descriptors pulling attention to names like ‘whistleblower’, ‘eco-terrorist’, ‘extremist’, and the way he points out more than one, obviously frustrated. He also insults the world once again pointing out their ‘small minds’ and ‘hypocrisy’; the media calling him ‘cruel’. Again, it’s the subtle things that really make a work shine and as usual Eva’s work is almost blinding.
“His enemies were clear to him, chosen not by his own selfish passions or greed, but by pure, beautiful logic” (Whatwashernameagain).
This line…. Oh, this line…. -sighs dreamily at the words-
So, Reader-Response theory can be interpreted in a number of ways but basically what you need to know is that everyone reads things in different ways due to their own life-experiences, interests, backgrounds, opinions, etc. So, this tiny line that most wouldn’t think twice of is one of my absolute favorites. Why? Well… Lets just say that I have four copies of every Sherlock Homes book (Sir Arthur Connan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes) (Leather bound, hard cover, soft cover, and children’s versions). Which means I’m a bit of fan. Why is that important here? Well, Logan’s (the Utilitarian’s) thought here, pulls me straight back to Doyle’s work. It is so Holmes-esc that it makes me all warm inside and brings a smile to my face. Not to mention it is another shift in the emotional tone of the work, pulling the reader from frustration to an almost affection as Logan addresses his work. This provides the character with even more complexity making him more tangible than ever. There is already so much depth to this character in the first half of this chapter than it astounds me… I am never disappointed in the woman’s writing.
As I read about some of Logan’s target, I have to pause because of just how real some of these issues are. “Fast food chains that ate away the natural resources with their disgusting wastefulness, earning money on the back of animals starved of space and clean air. Government funded projects poisoning the water of people dependent on it. Radioactive plants secured so badly the surrounding hospitals were filled to the brim with cancer patients. Presidents who criminalized people for their skin, their sex, their religion or orientation” (Whatwashernameagain). It makes we want to bring attention to New Culturism and New Historicism but that’s a whole different can of worms. For now, I’ll just say that in today political and environmental climate these are some real issues and she knows that. She knows her audience, for sure! I feel as if this could be a real power play, not in any bad way but in the sense that she can pull at the concerns of so many readers at once with Logan addressing these issues, submerging them in support of his unconventional solutions. How else do you make a reader fall in love with a villain but with sympathy and support? Brilliant… just bloody brilliant.
“Public acts of violence threatened to cause a brutalization of the human mind and thus cause more violence due to normalizing it by prolonged exposure” (Whatwashernameagain).
I won’t spend too much time on this but… Holmes-esc… just saying… I love it so much!
“Despite any attempts to paint him as a ruthless monster, the people were his ultimate ally… Ultimately, he believed the world would come to understand his superior philosophy” (Whatwashernameagain).
Okay, lets pause for a moment. We get some conflicting information here (not in a bad way). Up until now Logan has isolated himself from the world but now, we find out that the people work with him. This is conflicting not because it goes against what has been said but simply what the reader has assumed (reader-response theory). When we really consider it, of course there would be support for his tactics. Trump has supporters… I don’t see why but he does… It’s only logical that someone who is actually making change for the better (even if his methods are extreme) would have them too…. Wait… Did I just compare Logan to Trump?! I’m going to go cry in a corner now… T.T
No, but seriously Eva is making her readers think and ask questions that they have to fill in the blanks for, themselves. Its fantastic! The truth of the matter is, the best works have the readers read between the lines, fill in the blanks, help mold the story to their own liking, and she does this so Wonderfully I am jealous and awed by it all. As for bringing the world around to his philosophy we as a reader know that’s probably not going to happen but that might not be the point of the sentence. Perhaps, its to bring a small sense of eccentric tendencies in a far less subtle manner to Logan or just determination. I feel that it does both whether intended or not and does it beautifully. It makes it obvious that Logan is still lonely and determined to bring others in on his work while deluding himself that they will. I think most of us have been lonely enough that we went just a little crazy at one point or another… Which makes Logan more relatable.
Unfortunately, I have to go to work; but I will be back with a Part 2 of this. I have a lot more to say so be warned! And yes, I realize there’s going to be a lot of TLDR’s but it’s a good thing I’m writing this more for myself than anyone XP so… until next time…
The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? Part 3
All portions:
Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4
The Dreamer
@whatwashernameagain
Let’s jump right in, shall we?
Reminder: Spoilers under cut!
If we pick up where we left off, Logan talks about The Dreamer’s/Roman’s vision of the future ‘where everyone could live in love and harmony, and humanity would grow into its glowing, gallant potential, coexisting in friendship with nature and respecting the planet while creating a world fir for fairy tails’. “Why would no one see that [The Dreamer] was clearly delusional” (Whatwashernameagain)? Can anyone say… Foreshadowing?
I know I haven’t made it to chapter 2 yet but I need to bring this up so… If you haven’t read Chapter 2 yet then skip this bit.
*****CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS****
Once again, Roman’s character portrait is gaining more depth with this paragraph. In Chapter 2 we learn that Roman really does see the future this way. The knowledge has a sense of innocence that Logan obviously finds annoying but adds yet another endearing quality to the hero. I won’t go into too much detail about Chapter 2 but the foreshadowing here is quite lovely and shouldn’t be ignored. Logan calls Roman delusional for his vision and he truly is. With everything that we learn in Chapter 2 we see just how delusional the hero really is. But its not only for the future… his delusions go far deeper, involving his family, his duty, his team… I’ll stop there. You’ll just have to read my analysis of Chapter 2 when I eventually get there.
Now back to our regular scheduled programming…
*****END OF CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS*****
Okay… so this next para…. Oh man… So many thoughts…. “Despite his illogical argumentation, [The Dreamer] had somehow kept him from some of the more drastic measures [Logan’s] supercomputer suggested would be necessity for the continued well-being of all – much to the computer’s ire” (Whatwashernameagain). So, I really want to use two types of literary theories here… one being reader-response and the other bordering psychoanalysis. In other words, more Freud stuff. Don’t worry I’m not going to go into too much detail this time.
When I read this para all I can picture is the left and right side of the brain, which is really what Roman and Logan are aren’t they? I’ve briefly touched on the fact that Logan and Roman are polar opposites complimenting themselves before but… this para makes me consider it in a different way. Roman is acting almost like a conscious here; providing a line to draw when Logan starts to get out of control. Roman is the reigns that are yanked when Logan goes too fast. He keeps the Logical side in check. Fitting. Poetic. Perfect. Love it, Eva.
And… This super computer has so much Sass… Must be Remy. XP
With the introduction of Remy we get another burst of the light hearted humor that comes with his personality. Eva balances the character well, in my opinion. Remy is supposed to be a supercomputer with some sass but writing a character that is a computer can be difficult. I really would like to spend some time discussing Remy but I am afraid that I can’t go into to much detail. Remy in this scene is more of a support character, and there isn’t much to go on at the moment… Of course, knowing Eva, this will change in the future. I am sure he has plenty to say about Remy as the story progresses. As it stands Remy makes for a good comic relief and fantastic transitional device, pulling the reader from Logan’s thoughts back into the present to help the story move on.
**I’m going to pause here for a moment. While analyzing the entrance of Remy I grew curious about a few things and decided to ask her. I am going back to edit this in because while writing this portion of the analysis I felt as if I was missing something. Why did she choose Remy specifically to be the supercomputer and how does it play into any of this? I knew there had to be a reason, but I hadn’t managed to figure it out. So, I asked. Here was her response:
“So I absolutely thought about why I wanted Remy as the computer. Computers are associated with cool predictability and lacking emotional competence and stiff, predictable speech patterns. Everything Logan already is. Especially this computer, who has to calculate the highest odds- the value of human life - has to make extremely cold and emotionless decisions. He would have escalated Logan’s crusade dramatically had he behaved exactly like Logic at its worst and purest moments. And their conversations would have read like Logan talking to his Mini me. He had to break up that stereotype because we already have a human trying to operate like a computer. If the calculation of our actions through utilitarian predictions are possible (which I believe they are) the reverse - the creation of unique and emotionally capable A.I.s needs to be taken into account soon. Though Remy is not part of the deliberation yet, his ability for human emotion demands he be included. He makes that demand by being essentially the most human of all of them and I will go into (too much) Detail when it’s time for his arc.”
When she told me this I was floored! I knew that she put more deliberation into her writing than most, but I had never really expected this. That sounds as if I underestimated her but that isn’t the case. I knew she had considered it or I wouldn’t have asked but… Well this is just so beautiful… I suppose there is a reason she is such a fantastic writer… And this people, is one of them. Absolutely stunning, Eva. **
We jump back into Logan’s thoughts within the next paragraph. Remy accused the man of not ‘giving an f’ about what he says. He states that he attempts to follow Remy’s advice without prejudice. “However, whenever he endeavored to put those plans into action or even considered it, something made him hesitate. It was like a bug, hindering his rational thought process. A pesky pop-up window halting his deliberations and muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling” (Whatwashernameagain). I LOVE this paragraph!
So, the imagery here is fantastic. Eva uses a wonderful simile that really catches Logan’s personality. But I’ll have to get into that in a moment. I want to touch on something else first. We know that Logan is driven by Logic; he is Thomas’ logical side after all. That being said, it has been discussed within her Keep Him Safe fandom that Logan is/maybe autistic. I think that it is very fitting for Logan to be autistic (though this may be due to the fact that I am autistic as well). The thing is… and I really wish I had the source for this, but I don’t know what I’ve done with it and can’t for the life of me find it again. I am sorry. Anyways, if we look at this logically Logan is thirty years old (thought Eva may change that but the Logan in Sanders Sides is thirty because Thomas is thirty so I’m going with it); Which means that he grew up in 1990s. There wasn’t a lot of treatment for mild cases of autism in the nineties. In fact, it wasn’t until 2013 Autism Spectrum disorders were classified in DSM-V (History of Autism Treatment). Even if children were diagnosed before then, most cases in the 1980s and some in the 1990 used ECT, which involves passing small electric currents through the brain to intentionally trigger a brief seizure (History of Autism Treatment). These seizures are supposed to be hypothesized to change the brain chemistry in a way to reduce mental health symptoms (History of Autism Treatment). ECT is still used in some cases of autism today, though it is rare (History of Autism Treatment). Why is this important? Well, I am 27 years old. I grew up in the same era of Logan. I am also autistic so believe me when I say that /if/ someone tried to get Logan treated as a child he would have been subject to countless medications, off the wall treatment plans and subject to so many misdiagnoses that eventually he would have simply folded in on himself as we’ve seen him do throughout this work. On top of that, when he eventually came off of the treatments, he would had molded himself to avoid them at all costs becoming cold and driven by logic, blocking away as much of the emotional side of himself as he could and thus becoming the Logan we know today. This defense mechanism would obvious move into his adult years. I don’t know if this is Logan’s history in this work, this is merely speculation, but I am quite fond of the idea and historically speaking it is entirely possible.
**Author confirmed Logan is autistic**
I explain all this because if a person tries to block out emotions that are core to the very existence of a human being than what happens? Well, the example Eva gives, that’s what; “He attempted to follow the disgruntled computer’s advices without prejudice. However, whenever he endeavored to put those plans into action or even considered it, something made him hesitate” (Whatwashernameagain). Logan obviously tries to be as cold and calculating as his computer but despite his efforts, the fact remains… He is /not/ a computer; and he never will be. No matter how logical you try to be… no matter how much you block out your emotions, they will turn up here and there and there is NOTHING you can do to stop them. It is part of the human condition. Which brings me back to the simile I mentioned.
“It was like a bug, hindering his rational thought process. A pesky pop-up window halting his deliberations and muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling” (Whatwashernameagain).
This simile reinforces my hypothesis, but I still can’t say that it is true. Regardless it does show the struggle between Logan’s desire to be cold and calculating and his humanity; even basically describing himself as a computer (I’m pretty sure Remy would have a few things to say about that if he knew). He describes his humanity as a bug, or a virus, a pop-up messing with his head. Or… Could it be that it’s not his humanity that’s bothering him at all… Maybe it’s something… or someone else….
He states that this virus is “muddling his convictions with banal platitudes and illogical rambling”. For those of you about to look up the definition of banal platitudes, I’ve already done the work for you lol. It basically means clichés. So… clichés and ‘illogical’ rambling? Sound like anyone we know? Maybe a certain Dreamer? I talk as if Logan’s pesky humanity and The Dreamer are two different issues entirely but they are not. Roman seems to be a symbol of Logan’s unwanted humanity; something he both needs to define himself and hates because he wishes he didn’t need it. It is quite a wonderful use of symbolism and philosophical structure, beautifully executed. Someone once told me that a superhero is only as good as its villain. I believe that has some truth to it and vice versa. What would Batman be without the Joker or The Riddler? But it also poses the question… What would we be without our humanity. What would good be without bad? In life we define everything as a comparison. If you try to describe the color red you wouldn’t be able to because they can not compare the color to things that are red. In a world without bad, we wouldn’t recognize the good and in a world without good, the bad is just life. Would it be the same if the Utilitarianist didn’t have The Dreamer? If Logan didn’t have Roman?
This an actual concept in the literary world known as the dialectical method. “The dialectical method of analysis begins with particular sense data (knowledge of a single object). But such focus on a particular object of knowledge immediately invites reflection on what the particular object is not. It is not a concept or idea or category. We look at the legal system, for example, and see a law, but to understand a particular law fully we need to know what the principle or idea is that makes it a law" (Rivkin, Julie). While it doesn’t exactly work 100% for Roman and Logan in this instant, it basically mean that one thing is only defined by comparing it to another. But that is for another story…
A good writer makes their reader want to ask questions, to learn more… we see that here without a doubt.
I mentioned that the ‘banal platitudes and illogical ramblings Logan mentioned that were distracting him could be Roman and the next line confirms that theory: “The Dreamer was intruding on his mental solitude increasingly often with the memories of his wide eyes, predictably shocked at learning about the Utilitarianist’s latest plans, before determination lit a fire in his green eyes.” I’m sure his eyes are not the only thing crossing Logan’s mind… As I said before, Roman is a good representation of Logan’s conscious here, with a subtext of attraction that is ever present when it comes to his thoughts about the hero. Logan goes on to describe Roman’s banter once more but this time… there’s something a little different to his words.
“His voice was like a constraining vice around his chest, forcing him to remember his outraged claims of rightness and kindness and chivalry and peace – foolish banalities standing in the way of real benefits for the world. And yet his arguments kept resurfacing in his mind, playing like a broken record. Hopes for unity and joint efforts and belief in humanity’s solidarity and such naive nonsense. Data had proven the probability of success for his hopes at about 8%. A waste of time” (Whatwashernameagain).
8%.... 8%... Of course, Logan would know that! He talks about this hero getting in his way and messing up his plans but when it comes down to it the constant reminder seems to point to one thing… (Besides denial and attraction which we’ve already covered) Jealousy. Logan obviously isn’t jealous of The Dreamer’s popularity or social status, he doesn’t have a care for though things. No, the thing Logan is jealous of is hope. Let’s think about this for a moment. Sure, Roman is the symbol of hope for the country but that’s a different kind of hope. No, the thing that Logan continuously points out is the man’s ignorant hopeful view of a future that is almost impossible… Well, 92% impossible anyways. Logan is autistic… he is driven by logic, pushing down all his emotions as best he can because they are inherently bad… at least that is what he was conditioned to believe; you can’t push down just the bad emotions, its an all or nothing type of deal if you’re trying to be the most logical being you can be… Which means all the good emotions went with them… Logan doesn’t feel emotions like most people… like Roman…
I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel emotions, being autistic can sometimes mean you simply don’t feel emotions the same way as others. Plus, it makes sense for Logan to suppress them… ANYWAYS, I’m getting sidetracked. My point is that a lot of times when you struggle with something like that (or even depression (since ‘numbness’ can be a symptom of depression)) it can be quite difficult to see others enjoying emotions that you are incapable/not use to feeling. It is possible that this might be the case with Logan. Roman’s hope for the future, despite complaining of his naivety, is something Logan covets. It is something he probably respects, though he’d never admit it. I’m sure he no doubt calculated the statistics of Roman’s future to prep for his next argument but also because he was just a little bit curious as to how likely it really is. I even doubt he would actually tell Roman he only had an 8% chance of succeeding because he doesn’t want to see disappointment on those beautiful features; he’d probably just tell him the chances were slim… Though Roman would no doubt be one of those guys that would respond to ‘Fat chance’ with ‘I have a chance; and its fat!”. Of course, the next paragraph confirms my thoughts on Roman’s reaction to the information and once again reinforces Logan’s thoughts on just how handsome The Dreamer is.
The thing I want to draw attention to next is another opinion of Logan’s. Eva writes from his POV “Thankfully, many of his actions were far too advanced for a simple mind like the Dreamer’s, which afforded him the ability to work in peace. The threat of law-enforcement was hardly severe enough to warrant his attention. Still, he had interrupted his work and caused critical failure to several of his more drastic plans” (Whatwashernameagain). So, this brings up a number of things we were not privy to beforehand. First, it paints the dynamic in a bit of a different light. It brings our attention to the fact that Logan doesn’t see the man as the sharpest tool in the shed. We learn in Chapter 2 that that isn’t exactly the reason behind it all but Logan, of course is not privy to this… yet. Once again, we see Logan have a bit of a superiority complex, though I doubt he means to or even realizes it. In society today, knowledge is power, and Logan has a lot of it. His view that Roman is less intelligent puts him lower on the power scale and therefore beneath him. This reinforces the same imagery offered earlier in the story, calling Roman a ‘thorn in [Logan’s] shoe’ and the fact that Logan is not happy being attracted to him. On the opposite side it also reinforces just how adorably innocent Roman is.
I LOVE this next bit! Logan mentions that he had not made Roman a target despite Remy’s insistence and explains his position of the subject: “he was trying to be useful in his own way. Criminals and terrorist attempting to profit of the system’s flaws or praying on the weak were an issue the Utilitarianist was aware of, even if he had little time to devote to such matters as we worked on the grand scheme of things. Pedophiles were most deplorable, yes, but Remy could not devote his processor power to chasing every single individual. They had brought two sex-trafficking rings to light with the help of their white-hat-hackers and had, by making the addresses of the offenders’ public, dealt with a lot of them indirectly, yet a single kidnapping was a too small variable to devote any time to” (Whatwashernameagain). So far, we’ve seen Logan move from frustration, obsession, denial, attraction, respect to envy… now we see… understanding? While some may think this is a bit contradictory, I would have to disagree… In fact, it makes complete sense that Logan would accept and understand Roman’s heroic persona. Afterall, the two of them share the same goal, they simply go about it in two different extremes.
Logan wants a better world where things like corrupt governments are nonexistent and every person can walk to their car at night without having to cling to their pepper spray or keys so desperately. Granted, he is attempting to accomplish this on such a large scale that it will not happen anytime soon, but the intention is still there. In his mind, the end justifies the means and therefore the Utilitarianist was born. Roman wants the same world, granted there are a few more rainbows and most certainly more glitter in his vision but it is the same none the less. The only difference is Roman’s sense of morality stopping him from doing something as drastic as Logan does. I think Logan sees this and though he considers the unwillingness a type of weakness he can see that Roman has a use and therefore has value (just as the utilitarianism principle suggests). In fact, in a way, Roman is assisting Logan in his goals, though it is a very small way. He is basically taking care of smaller crimes while Logan attempts to handle the big guns. This, of course, paints their dynamic in a bit of different light; Logan being the brains while Roman fumbles about and makes his job far more difficult that it needs to be. Think of it like Pinky and the Brain, or Dexter (from Dexter’s Laboratory) and his sister DeeDee (Is my age showing?). Within the next two paragraphs
Logan talks about the hero saving a young girl and the ‘almost-admiration’ that he had felt for the hero who was basically doing something Logan was incapable of; which reinforces the analysis. A small snippet of their interactions is seen for the first time; Roman lecturing about every life counts and using power for good; Logan making a smart-ass comment in return and blasting him off the oil rig with high pressured water. This is actually quite a beautiful scene because it shows the rivalry (despite Logan’s complaining) is filled with more of a playfulness than actual malice. It is obvious that Logan doesn’t really want to harm Roman and vice versa. It makes for a very soft moment for the reader, warming them a bit.
The playfulness continues through the next scene. Logan reminisces about a moment when Roman’s ‘incompetence’ managed to get him captured by another villain. There is a lot to read during this scene so I will try to be brief (I am trying to shorten these parts while also moving a bit quicker through the work, so I don’t bore you guys too much). Logan states that “only Remy had managed to piece together his whereabouts after Logan had mentioned his failure to appear in front of a camera for a solid two days. Leaving him to die in the hands of such an individual might have caused a significant amount of unrest and subsequent danger to the public” (Whatwashernameagain).
First off, do you really pay Roman so much attention that you notice when he’s not there to brighten your day? Of course you do. I’m sure he would love the attention if he knew about it. Anyways, the last sentence provides more insight into what I have previously said about Logan’s recognition of Roman’s usefulness. He states that Roman’s disappearance would cause unrest and subsequent danger to the public. While, he may be making excuses, according to Remy, he does recognize this to be try and it is. If the public discovered The Dreamer was gone crime would spike, people’s hope would disappear causing them to lash out in fear and over protectiveness; everything Logan was working towards wouldn’t necessarily crumble but would no doubt be slowed. Which brings me back to the whole dialectical theory thing from earlier, which I won’t bore you with again. Just know that everything is related to something else in meaning, including Logan and Roman.
Love the light humor of Remy calling Logan his ‘computer-world-interaction device! LOL! Aside from the light humor, the interaction is a good resource in rounding out Remy as a character. It offers the reader a chance to understand that Remy needs/wants to interact with the outside world, to experience what it is to be apart of society outside his connections with the internet… Don’t we all Remy… Don’t we all… It develops Remy into the AI he is supposed to be rather than the image of a computer we originally had.
“Saving the Dreamer from his own incompetence was not a concession to his naive beliefs. No, certainly not! If anything, his wailing and warbling had caused Logan a headache as he’d dragged him out of the bunker, arguing the whole way” (Whatwashernameagain).
Logan SAVED Roman?! I love this. Irony at its finest! The villain saves the hero. Poetic justice! It also paints Logan to have a heart, though he denies it, which is quite nice too. Too bad Roman has no idea that his initials are carved in the ice around said heart. Best part is, we actually get to see a small snippet of the argument between the two: “’Uhhng you’re such an impossible motherf- um motherboard! Because you’re like a computer! Cold and emotionless!’ [The Dreamer] wailed, narrowly avoiding uttering a vile insult in his frustration. He prided himself on a hero’s impeccable manners, after all” (whatwashernameagain).
So, this snippet does a lot of things for Roman’s persona here. It provides him with the sass we hadn’t seen from him yet, giving him a bit more personality and a small bit of his POV which is a first in the story as well. We also can see the stark contrast between his and Logan’s frustration. Roman loses a bit of control in his frustration and almost curses; while Logan’s frustration, while intense, was still controlled almost to perfection (minus the one time he almost got caught because Roman got him to argue with him). His calm cool demeanor rarely cracking. Roman, as we see here, however, is the opposite, wearing the emotion on his sleeve and allowing it to flow freely rather than being bottled up and locked away like Logan attempts to do.
“Why had he cared to save this man after all? Not because of the softly uttered gratitude he’d finally muttered as he’d bundled him into an intimidated police officer’s car or his wide, awed eyes as he’d materialized out of the shadows of his cell, perfectly adjusted to the darkness in his neck-high sleek, black suit and high-tech mask that made him resemble a nimble, black cat. Or the way his expression had morphed into a knowing, almost warm smile before their differences had made their tempers rise once again” (Whatwashernameagain).
Okay, first off… Lets look at the structure here. This is another thing I love about Eva’s writing. I’ve mentioned time and time again, her ability to transition from one POV to another seamlessly but she also does it with timeframes. We’ve seen it a few times now, but this is probably the most obvious one which is why I waited until I got to this point before bringing it up. Before this para we were reading a small snippet of the arguing as Logan dragged Roman to safety. Now, we see Logan deposit Roman into a car and then BAM! Back in the cell he had been being kept in. The best part is that it is done so seamlessly that the reader doesn’t even really think about the fact that they are jumping back and forth in this timeline, they are simply able to piece it together as if it was all one piece… absolutely beautiful…
This para also gives a small insight into the humanity in Logan I had mentioned before, the humanity that only seems to come out when Roman is around; thus, reinforcing the fact that Roman /is/ Logan’s humanity. It also is a reminder of Logan’s denial but who is paying attention to that anymore?
Logan mentions the ‘softly uttered gratitude’ that Roman mutters as he was bundled in the car; making me wonder just how often Logan is thanked? Probably never… It is no wonder it was something of note here. It is like feeding a steak to someone who is accustomed to instant ramen: Surprising but not unwelcomed.
He also talks about Roman’s ‘wide, awed eyes,’ the look turning into a ‘knowing, almost warm smile.’ This is another example of how Eva manages to catch emotions so beautifully. This is also a wonderful example of Reader-Response theory as well. She mentions the physical reaction that Roman has at the appearance of Logan, but she leaves everything else up to the reader to fill in the blank… to shape the story. Still, she gave us just enough to work with.
Roman is obviously surprised that someone was there for him as his eyes go wide, but its really the fact that it is Logan, his opposite, his rival, that is there to save him. The shock fades quickly though as everything Roman has been arguing with the man over seems to come true in his eyes. Logan has just proven Roman right in the sense that Logan is good at heart and /can/ do the right thing… that there is hope that he can be led down the ‘right’ path. But the smile he offered wasn’t cocky or conceited if that were the case. It was simply ‘warm’. The complexity of human thought and emotions is far to vast for anyone to really /know/ what Roman was thinking her but I’m going to give a guess: Roman saw for the first time that his rival was not only living up to Roman’s hopes and expectations but was, in a way, providing him with a sense of friendship that Roman probably wasn’t accustomed to. Or at least a sense of affection (platonic or otherwise). No doubt, being a hero was a very lonely existence.
And we end the scene with Logan mentioning Remy’s like for Roman and his ‘cute ass and mouth.’ That’s Remy for you.
Thank you for joining me for Part 3 of this analysis. I apologize for the length and want to thank you for baring with me through it.
Yes, this is a repost. I had posted a very short Part 3 earlier today and did not want to end the Chapter 1 analysis on an odd number, so I combined Parts 3 and 4.
I will see you guys in part 4! Feel free to send me an ask or message with questions, concerns, emotional outbursts or things you simply would like to discuss or add! Thank you all!
“History of Autism Treatment.” Applied Behavior Analysis Programs Guide, https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com/history-autism-treatment/.
Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.
Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.
