#herosphoros

[heavenlybled-moved]

IN THESE DARK HOURS OF WAR, sleepless nights occur more often than not. some try to ignore it, patrolling the busy streets of new york while keeping downworlders at bay, in search for purpose. for answers. for something.... and others, they spend their hours waiting. waiting to see what happens next –––––  where anticipation usually enlightens the atmosphere within the walls of the new york institue, apprehension has now taken its place.           for sebastian, it’s something else. he’s got his own reasons for the early walks he take  between that what he calls his home, and the institute; why he disappears and remain out of reach for periods of time, are covered with lies & deceit. & THE NIGHTMARES –––– oh, the nightmares... you’ll never have him admit to those either. and so his presence will soon enough become a constant. but not yet. it’s hour has barely passed 5am when he walks in. he isn’t expected to report to the institue at this hour and yet here he is. given the early hours, most residents remain asleep & so he walks in search for the kitchen area. might as well make a cup of coffee while he’s at it.

@herosphoros ❤’d for a starter

[dnteverdoubtme]

The Weight Of Guilt

@herosphoros​

          THERE ARE NIGHTS WHEN THE DREAMS ARE TOO MUCH– & she finds herself screaming; eyes blood shot and fingernails clawing at freckled skin, as if she can dig herself free from the NIGHTMARES. They had been bad before jonathan had tried to take his life, but now they are worse, filled with demons who wear the faces of those she loves MOCKING her. YOUR FAULT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT – she doesn’t deserve his pity or his friendship. She deserves to be cast out, like she called for her brother to be. She deserves to sleep alone, Jace gone away to ‘deal with his emotions’. She deserves to fear herself – & yet here he is, pinning bleeding arms to the mattress, telling her to STOP, Clary! STOP. Is she not the reason for his sorrow? Is she not the reason for the fear she sees behind dark eyes? ( he can’t lie to her. she knows alec is afraid of LOSING Jonathan again, and all because of her ) She is GUILTY & this is her punishment : to spend the rest of her life living in fear of what could have been, and almost was. 

                                ( LEAVE HER ,  –  let her suffer alone. ) 

“Clary... Clary! STOP.” 

          It’s harder than it should be to pry her hands away from her own arms, pale skin a bloody mess... Harder because he doesn’t want to hurt her ( not more than she has already hurt herself ) and she struggles in his hold so much. All my fault! She cries out as he pins her wrists to the mattress, shushes her so that Jonathan won’t hear it. The very last thing he needs is the weight of his sister’s pain on his shoulders, and Alec knows without a doubt that he will take it if only given the chance. “You have to stop this,” he pleads again, not sure of what he means: the struggle, the guilt, BOTH. 

Alec feels guilty too, they all do, but none of them feel as guilty as Jonathan does and that’s why he needs her to stop. “Please– ” a word he so rarely uses, his voice breaking just at the end of it as he lets go of her hands, “Please, just stop.”

[lilithblooded]

#clary voice: i'm not kissing my brother #clary voice: at least not today @herosphoros

that’s basically a confession, guys. she wants me.

[dnteverdoubtme]

Of Titles and Doubts

                         ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜

@herosphoros​

   “ Of course not. “ Though there is a flicker of hesitancy found in her features before she responds. For a split-second, she allows doubt to replace the certainty she has in her father’s plans. To be named queen will be a glorious thing, but to sit beside a man she holds no love for is a terrifying thought. If only she could bare her soul, share her fears and reservations with the other in hopes that he would give her comfort. But alas, custom dictates otherwise, and while their relationship has always been more of siblings than a guard and his charge, she must abide by them.

   “ Besides – Even if I wished too, I could not turn back now. Not after everything my father and brother have sacrificed to ensure this match was made. I may abhor the prince, but to leave this behind… Because of my feelings on the matter, is something a child would do. “ Her face once more the mask of a woman set upon her task, she turns away from him and towards the sun that sets over the the mountains in the west. ( It is a beautiful night for a walk around the castle’s grounds – and a terrible night to be discussing her insecurities ) “ And I am not a child anymore. I am a queen . “

          She wasn’t a queen yet, but she would be,  and Alexander had no doubts that she would make a fine monarch at that, but stating so didn’t answer his question, nothing of what Clary had said really did. He wanted to tell her it was okay to be afraid, but lying had never been his forte and honesty was the foundation over which his good relationship with the Morgenstern siblings had been built upon. Alexander never lied, and while the future queen often times did, her dishonesty wasn’t usually directed at him. However, he could hardly blame her when she was trying to lie to herself above all things. So Alec simply nodded instead, his hands lightly crossed behind his back in what might seemed like a relaxed stance for anyone unaware of the blade his fingers would graze ever-so-often.

“The prince is definitely...peculiar,” he commented lightly, glad Clary could at least admit the man to be quite an unpalatable thing. Alexander couldn’t tell if that was solely his own opinion or if Jonathan’s constant nagging was getting to him, but the fact remained the assassin was hardly a fan of the Herondale monarch. If only his masters would say the word the future king could find a swift demise. It wasn’t that simple, of course, nothing ever was when they were dealing with the crown, but Alec certainly missed the times where it had been. Everything had felt easier before they came to Idris. But they came here with a purpose, and if Clary was determined to marry the man, then Alexander surely wouldn’t be the one to discourage her.

          Glancing at the soon-to-be princess he allowed the corner of his lips to pull back in a rare smile, amused and proud at her determination. “I can’t say I would rather call anyone else my QUEEN.” 

[dnteverdoubtme]

2 & 18

2. What made you decide to write this muse?

I do believe I have kind of a type when it comes to RPing, considering I’ve played Elijah Mikaelson, Richie Gecko, Jackson Whittmore and Killian Jones you could say ‘tall dark and handsome’, ‘asshole that secretly cares a lot’ and ‘overconcerned big brother on a moral high-horse’ are my things. I saw on Alec ( show Alec in special ) many of the traits I like to write and that’s what drew me to him... almost two years later and here we are.

18. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

Well well well, this a big one... Or at least it feels like it is cause I got it 3 times xD But let’s go. I think the most important aspect of Alec, for me, is the appearance of honor and morals above all when, in truth, Alec will place his loved ones above all notion of honors or doing the right thing any time of the day. Everyone calls him a man of honor, a man of his words, they act like this is who he is, but at the end of the day Alec can be selfish, and he can be ruthless, and unless you are one of the literal five people he cares about in this world you shouldn’t count as a certainty that he will do The Right Thing, because the real right thing for Alec Lightwood is keeping the ones he loves safe.           As for Alec’s opinion on this, I guess he does value his honor, he values the appearance of it and the opinion of people that he’s an honorable man and a good leader. If he could choose something to be remembered as he’d want to be remembered as a good man. But if the choice comes down to being perceived as good, or protecting those he loves, Alec knows very well what he would choose; he just hopes he doesn’t have to make that call. 

[dnteverdoubtme]

                ❛ I like my women like I like my Absinthe. I hate Absinthe. ❜

@herosphoros

          “ But you like vodka, and that’s all that matters to me. “ Are they drunk? Maybe a little. Or maybe a lot. Yeah … They’re both drunk – Really, really drunk. ( as seen in Clary’s constant stream of giggle fits and in the way Alec’s head lulls slightly to the right at the mention of vodka ) “ But – You do like me, don’t you? Like, if you had to screw a girl … It would totally be me. ”

          Well... “You do have a point there,” Alec was forced to agree, the half-empty bottle clutched in his hand making the affirmation hard to DENY. Same as he couldn’t deny the fact Clary Fray had just asked him the If you had to screw a girl question. “I like you fine...” he pondered seriously, “But I also see you on daily basis, so no. Just NO. It would be Lydia.” Alec decided at last with a nod, “She was nice, and I already had to think about it anyway.”

[dnteverdoubtme]

Giving Up The Ghost

                            ❛❛ Every man must die. But first he must live. ❜❜

@herosphoros

       Her skin is slick with sweat from the bedsheets she had crawled from only moments before – eyes wide, her fingers clench and unclench around the stair’s bannister as she peers down at the dark haired nephilim. Alec had always been night owl. She should have expected him to be roaming the Insitute’s halls just as she did now. ( does he know about her dreams ? –FIRE AND BLOODSHED / DARKNESS SWIRLING ABOVE THE EARTH LIKE AN ALL ENCOMPASSING STORM CLOUD & her impending death. visions brought on by her angel blood – maybe even by Raziel himself ) … but of course not. How could he know ? She hadn’t told anyone. Yet his words still felt directed at her dreams, and shame flutters in her chest. 

       She and jace were set to leave for the Los Angeles Institute in the morning, and Alec was to be left in charge until they returned. Chest puffed and shoulders broad, a beam of all that was JUST & RIGHT in the world – he eyed her inquisitively. she shrunk back from his gaze, wrapping her cotton robe tightly around herself in an attempt to build a barricade between the two.   ❛ – I’m half alseep and have no idea how to respond to that. Maybe you shouldn’t try and have DEEP conversations with me at 2am in the morning … ❜ ( but, how could she live when she knew she had such little time ? )

“You’re awake enough to be raiding the kitchen,” he pointed out rather matter of factly, moving in between cupboards as he drafted supplies for a cup of coffee. Taking one look at Clary Alec decided to make it two, a second cup joining his awaiting one as he busied himself with boiling water. If she’s not going to sleep anyway... and truth be told that might not have been the BEST time to bring up the subject ( was there ever a good time when it came to this? ), but it had been bothering Alec to no end, and he had never been one to leave the things that bothered him well enough alone. 

          It sure looked like it had been bothering Clary as well, which really made no sense because the decision had been all hers... A frown took over his features, brow creasing as he watched the redheaded girl take a seat by the counter and poured hot water over grated coffee. The more Alec thought about it the less sense it made until it came to a point where asking was really the only solution available. “Why won’t you marry him?” he gave up and blurted out at last, literary references and subtlety be damned. “You LOVE him, he sure as hell loves you back and the war is over, Fray.” A steaming mug was placed on the counter, Alec’s eyes sharp as they searched Clary’s for an answer she might very well refuse to voice. 

“I might not be first in line to become your brother in law, but I just don’t get it.” 

[lilithblooded]

herosphoros replied to your post: clary or alec?

yeeeeah boi

（*￣３￣）～～