#hesadouche

[yeahb0y-andfuckface]

Alfred seems to think its okay to bathe himself on me 😐 #me #hesadouche #hatefulcat #hessweetsometimes

[sproutlet]

Well she’s really tall, and you’re really tall. So, there’s a pretty good chance you can sleep with her. That's why we did that.

The Groom, explaining why he paired his groomsmen with a particular bridesmaid.

[this-is--a--silly-game-we-play]

Effff my life.

[passageretaco]

douchebag of the entire decade award goes to a guy on my floor who, when we were talking about eye color, went on to tell us that his eyes were both blue and green and guess what the two colors girls most look for in a guy? blue and green of course.

and then he proceeded to shrug his shoulders and say "jackpottttt"

IF THAT IS NOT THE DOUCHIEST THING EVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

I'M PRETTY SURE HE WAS EVEN HIGH-FIVING

WHO DOES HE EVEN THINK HE IS