she’s been crying for a while now. sometimes the planets align just right & everything happens at once & suddenly everything catches up to her. she doesn’t know where to go. if she stays by herself, she thinks the doors will turn against her. it took her longer than she would care to admit just to leave her apartment, standing in front of the door & staring at it, waiting to see who would make the first move. edith had then stood in front of her car for a moment, staring directly at her own reflection to gauge its reliability. no. no, it didn’t have any. (it can’t happen any more -- she killed him; she’d loved daniel & then she had to kill him or be just like all those other girls, blind & waterlogged & unwillingly helping him. but she can’t trust it.) the rain kept getting stronger, even as she walked ... somewhere. the whole time she’s trying to create friction warmth on shaking hands, keep soaked mass of hair out of her face.
there was a point at which a passing car further soaked her. that was when the crying started. don’t drown. don’t drown. don’t -- she’s slipping. she can tell. but she keeps walking, almost mindlessly. it’s instinct to keep going. she’s shaking & soaked, unsure if she’s even really going somewhere at all or just walking till she can’t any more.
her feet finally stop on a familiar doorstep. oh. strange. but it’s another door. she doesn’t want to knock or ring the doorbell or give any indication that she’s existing outside of this house until she stops crying. but she’s standing still -- staying in the water, the one thing she’s never supposed to do, drowning in all the things she usually refused to allow to surface. she flinches when the door opens, green eyes wide like an animal caught where it shouldn’t be. she’s scared. it’s probably obvious, but it’s a rare sight to see. “ i -- ”
she shakes her head, one hand pressing against her forehead. “ s-sorry, no, i sh’ld go, i don’t -- fuck, i’m just -- s’just -- ” a shaky exhale, arms wrapping around her chest. she won’t look up. “ i ... i don’ know why i’m here. i can ... i can go -- ”
