Hey. What happens when someone buries themselves deep deep into the sand and never comes out?
Thank you for the call, listener! Deep in the sand, there is a snake. Its scales would shine in the sunlight, but it has never seen the sun; its eyes would reflect the moonlight, but it has never slithered under the moon. Its tail would slide across the earth with a gentle rustle, if it was ever to touch down in grass-covered soil, but all it has ever known is the touch of the sand. Its maw is large and it has no teeth. Oh, how it wishes to let out a hiss; a word; a scream — but it cannot, for its mouth is filled with sand, but it cannot, for the life of it, choke.
We do not know why the snake is there.
If you burrow deep enough into the sand, you will slide right into its wide-open mouth. You will dig your way into its throat and down, down into the snake’s stomach. The acids will digest you, providing the snake with the sufficient nutrients to buy it several millennia more of the torture it calls its life. The snake hates you now.
Oh, how it wishes to scream.
I hope this has been informative! If you have any more questions for us, do not hesitate to call the Night Vale Community Radio Station.
On the topic of snakes: did you know that the Glow Cloud is paying our town a visit today? And it promised to rain — you’ll never guess it — that’s right, many snakes on our blasphemous heads! All hail the Glow Cloud.
And on the topic of rain… Listeners, allow me to take you to the weather.
