SketchDump for tonight! x.x
I was listening to Mamma Mia soundtrack and Granny ‘Cesca came to my head T-T @shinylikediamond the nontp is for you ¬¬
BONUS:
Synopsis: Fate really brought her to him and vice versa, but Junhoe isn’t allowing her to easily intrude in his life. Not again.
“Jun…” Softly, gently, broken yet relieved. He hadn’t heard that nickname since before he yelled at his friends to stop calling him that years ago, Hyena being the creator of that nickname. She stood up from the bed, the food wrappers falling to the floor in her rush. He stared at her, the flash of pain in his eyes changing to confusion, trying to understand why she was there. As if it was a wakeup call, the school bell rang and made Junhoe blink, his eyes now devoid of emotion and he quickly turned around to leave the room. Not wanting to pass this opportunity, Hyena stepped forward and grabbed his free hand with both of hers. Junhoe turned to look at her, anger filling his eyes while sincerity was brimming in hers. They both looked down at their hands and Hyena let go upon realising the origin of the sticky feeling. She looked Junhoe up and down multiple times, the boy trying his hardest to stare her down, but to no avail.
Before Junhoe could say anything to her, Hyena dashed past him into the main room and grabbed the nearest first aid box she saw, quickly wiping away the stains on her hands with some wet tissues she spotted on the table, immediately turning back as she was done and back into the room, pulling Junhoe down next to her to sit on the bed. Despite being shocked, he pulled his hand away from her and stood up to leave, embarrassment and anger filling him up all at once. However, choosing to bear with his rage, Hyena once again grabbed onto him and pulled him down. In a shaky yet firm voice, she said her first real words to him after seven years, “At least let me do this.”
Her hands that were still slightly stained with his blood were gently pulling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbow where the cut was, something sharp that was thrown in the fight probably causing it, but he couldn’t actually remember what the cause was. He was too focused on how the colour of her hair was a little darker from how he remembered, focused on how her feet still didn’t touch the floor when she sat on the bed, focused on how she was blowing onto the cut as if it’ll get better just like that. He let out a scoff then, and a new anger started to boil inside of him at the realisation of his own fondness towards her.
Distracted by his voice, Hyena cautiously looked up, only to directly meet his gaze, his intense and unfaltering gaze. A wave of embarrassed hit her but she knew better, so she held onto his gaze and gave him a small, genuine smile before returning her gaze to his cut. Her grip on him loosened and she held his wrist lightly, both her hands shaking as she continued whatever she was doing, her demeanour and actions completely contrasting.
They sat in silence as she cleaned up his wound and put a bandage on it, the wound being a bit too large for a normal band aid. The howling wind outside accompanied the silent hum of the air conditioner, and gradually the intensity of the fresh autumn wind toned down ever so slightly, much like Junhoe’s negative emotions towards Hyena. Before cloudier thoughts could emerge in his mind, Hyena slowly looked up at him and met his gaze as she asked, “Are you okay now?”
He now felt how their palms were touching, felt how soft her skin was below his rough hand, noticing how much smaller her hand was in comparison to his. Something stirred inside of him as he felt heat rising to the back of his neck. Not wanting to back down, he held her gaze, trying to convey his dissatisfaction of having her there with him, “No I’m not but it doesn’t matter how I feel does it?” With that, something changed in Hyena’s hopeful eyes, a miniscule to others but noticeable to Junhoe kind of change, and he took her stunned reaction to good use, easily slipping away from her grip before quickly leaving the room, the curtain closing behind him fluidly, softly, with the harsh slam of the door following after.
“Hyena!!” Hyena spun around as she saw Hanbin, another familiar face. It had been about a week since Hyena had talked to Junhoe, her emotions changing from sadness, from thinking about how he’ll never forgive her, to feeling hurt, from how harsh his words were and how it didn’t have to go down like that, to understanding, eventually backing away from her initial plan of further pursuing their friendship and let him have some time to himself, the situation probably too much for him, she had though. Hyena shook her thoughts away and instead focused on how Hanbin was jogging towards her, a smile spreading on her face since she hadn’t seen many of her elementary school friends other than Miso and Jinhwan in the past few days, with Junhoe being the exception, of course. Somehow aware of her situation, he softly questioned her, “So, have you found a way to talk to Junhoe?” With a shake of her head and a dejected smile on her face, Hyena bit her lip under her smile to stop herself from feeling too emotional.
Hanbin gave her a pat on the head as he said, “I wish we had more time to talk but I have to rush to my dance practice. Maybe we could have lunch one day with the others? Yumi has been chewing my ear off talking about when she can meet you.” Hyena laughed heartily at the mention of another one of her childhood friends and nodded in agreement before they exchanged their contact numbers. She felt a bit better after they stood there chatting for a while, glad to feel a little bit light hearted even if it’s just for a little while. They eventually said their goodbyes and Hyena watched as he left. As he was about to turn the corner, Hanbin unexpectedly stopped in his tracks and looked back at her, a grin on his face, “You know what? I think I remember seeing him going to the library. But then again, it couldn’t be him.” With a wink, Hanbin spun around and turned the corner, disappearing from her sight.
It didn’t take long for Hyena to find him. She practically memorised how the top of his head looked like after the countless times they spent in the community library for her sake when she was in her bookworm phase one summer and wanted to go to the library every day to read a book before they played. The summer where Junhoe and her were inseparable. The summer where he would fall asleep opposite her on the table, his sleeping position the same as it was now. A soft smile spread on her face, warmth spreading in her chest as she realised how much she had longed to see him like this.
Her grip on her bag strap tightened as she sat opposite him, like old times. She placed her face in the palms of her hands and gazed at him fondly. Feeling an incredible sense of courage from him being asleep and unable to hear her, she started talking to him like he was awake, “Hey Jun. It’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, this is kinda weird.” She laughed softly, careful not to cause a disruption, “I’ve been trying to bring myself to ask you… if you really hate me for leaving. You have every right to be mad at the fact that I just left and came back unexpectedly.” With a bitter smile she continued, “I guess I had no courage to tell you about what’s really going on.”
She let out a deep sigh and laid her hands on the table, staring at them, remembering simpler times where they would go to swimming parks together, holding onto each other tightly, the fear of the rides disappearing like magic as soon as they were together. As the nostalgic emotions engulfed her, she opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her voice came out barely above a whisper as she said, “I miss you so much, but I’m so scared of you. I’m scared of what will happen to you if I stay by your side this time.” Her voice cracked slightly as she continued, “I’m really afraid. I’m scared that we changed too much as people and I’m afraid of hurting you again because we might’ve changed too much. I just wish…”
Hyena caught herself before she said anything she might regret and took a deep breath, calming herself down, embarrassed at herself for getting so emotional. It was her first time being able to properly convey her feelings to him since she returned, although he wasn’t even consciously with her. She stayed there with him for a bit, feeling sleepy herself as the sun beginning to set. Battling with her fear inside, Hyena got up and went to his side, the side where his face was visible. She crouched down a little to look at him, shocked to find patches of dried blood and scratches on his face. She stood up and took a deep breath before giving him a light push, gently calling out his name to wake him up. No answer. She pushed him slightly harder and called his name a bit louder. No answer. With a sigh, she resigned from her attempt and sat on the chair next to him, gazing tenderly at his bruised sleeping face, thankful to have this rare chance and taking in every moment she had with him like this.
With intertwined hands, a small Hyena in her favourite adorable yellow sundress pulled his hand forward, her mouth forming his name, “Jun!” She called. They were already holding hands, yet she turned to look at him, expecting him to come closer, “Jun!” She called again. The wind blew at them softly, the bright blue sky above them, no clouds in sight. He felt the grass tickling his exposed legs as he ran with her and glanced down, his khaki shorts reminiscent of his younger days. As Hyena pulled him further into the meadow, he looked down at their intertwined fingers, his hands so big compared to hers. Fully immersing himself in the moment, he lifted his head only to be faced with another Hyena. The new Hyena. Her small face was framed with her beautiful long black hair, her plump cheeks a pretty shade of pink from the running and her brown eyes formed crescents as she laughed, and a brilliant laugh it was. The soft sound of wind chimes in the air and her childlike laughter brought a smile on Junhoe’s face, a genuine smile that hasn’t appeared on his face in years.
The scene changed then, the clear skies behind Hyena suddenly turning dark. They had stopped running through the meadow, the tall grass still and cold against his legs. His grip on Hyena tighten instinctively and as he was about to pull her behind him, unexpectedly, she resisted him. He met her eyes and took in a sharp breath, her once bright eyes holding no reflection of himself in their now stone-cold state. She was staring right at him but in her eyes, she was looking at nothing but the meadow behind him, like he didn’t exist. Speechless, Junhoe’s grip on Hyena loosened and she used this chance to slip her hand out of his, the girl quickly dashing through the now muddy meadow, thunder booming above them. Realising too late, Junhoe ran towards her at full speed, his hand reaching out to her. He called after her, “Hyena! Don’t go!”
As he got a grip on her, she turned to look at him, a monotonous voice leaving her lips, “I’ll leave you again anyway, so why don’t you just let me go Jun?” As soon as that was said, she sent him flying upwards with one push of her hand. The boom of the thunder rang in his ears and Junhoe looked down at the meadow, his eyes following Hyena, the girl running further into the meadow, disappearing into the horizon, like how she disappeared from his life.
With a gasp, Junhoe opened his eyes, his breathing erratic and hands sweaty. He placed his elbows on the table before him and buried his head in them, rubbing his head as a headache started to form. Out of nowhere, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped from his seat to a standing position, the scraping of the chair echoing loudly in the quiet space, his face showing a horrified expression.
Hyena quickly retracted her hand from his shoulder, her heart rate increasing as she stood up and started to speak, “A-are you okay? W-what’s wrong?” Junhoe looked up at her, a confused look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted. Afraid of what he had to say about her being there, Hyena’s hands formed fists and she dug her nails in her palm, embarrassed and apologetic as she said, “I didn’t mean to wake you up I’m so sor-“
Without thinking, Junhoe took a step forward and extended his hands around her head and back, pulling her in for hug. He shut his eyes tightly and his unsteady breathing turned heavier, causing Hyena‘s eyes to grow wide with worry. Habitually, she brought her hands up and gently stroked his back with one hand, the other gripping the fabric at his waist to steady his shaken body. With a slight emotional crack in her voice, she softly said, “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re awake now.”
“I’m so glad you’re here. Don’t leave. Please” Junhoe’s voice was low and fragile as he brought her closer, his mind picturing her empty expression, and a shiver ran down his spine. The dream felt so real to Junhoe. Her tender touch, her small body and her warm voice. Her warm and shaken voice. Her smaller than his body. Her real physical tender touch. Suddenly realising the reality of his dream, Junhoe opened his eyes, the view of the worn wooden bookshelves of the school library in front of him. He blinked a few times, trying to swallow down the information that this was real. This hug is actually a real hug from the real Go Hyena. She was still whispering to him that things were going to be ok, telling him that she was there for him, “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”
The reality of the situation brought a wave of distrust and annoyance over his heart hearing that, and he brought his hands to her shoulders, pushing her away from him, purposely being a little rough. He closed his eyes as he prepared his expression, since he didn’t want her thinking any weird thoughts about this situation. With a deep breath, Junhoe opened his eyes and looked straight into her eyes as he gruffly said, “Don’t misunderstand, I thought I was still dreaming.” Realising how it sounded like he was dreaming of her, his voice wavered ever so slightly as he added, “It was a fucked-up dream and I just needed to hold onto something and you just happened to be here, so don’t misunderstand.”
Without another look or word, Junhoe picked up his bag and walked away from the once again silent library corner. Hyena still had her hands still raised in mid-air as she heard his footsteps slowly fade away in the distance. With a small laugh, she crossed her hands across her body and embraced herself, suddenly feeling cold without the warmth of Junhoe’s body.
