#hienous

[itchose]

⭐ just to be funny

see the 1000 of reasons that i made this blog because of our ever-expanding universe but sure i'll give you some new ideas

hannah + mikayla. with everything we wrote about mikayla & taissa talking about the outsiders, i think that any interaction between mikayla and hannah would be really tense. actually crazy mikayla didn't just immediately kill her after that conversation but i digress.

melissa + jeff. do i need to explain this one...

jessica + asher. wait sorry this is funny. imagine her interviewing him. imagine taissa saying yeah i don't trust that one (for no real reason other than lingering bitterness).

melissa + love. melissa meets love and love unleashes a part of melissa that she has deemed dead for years.

nat + percy. this unlocked something in me but no i do not know what.

allie + pj. again. do i need to explain. who would be more insufferable

and for my final offering have you ever considered shipping taissa and mikayla (perhaps in a 432nd verse)

[lonesomeds]

not many people wanna be my friend right now. i’m not very popular. ┊ @hienous, mikayla.

"i can't imagine why," perry says, exceedingly sincere. his brow creases slightly as he looks mikayla over, trying to parse if it's a predicament she's unhappy with - after a beat, though, he feels uniquely unqualified to judge. he extends his sympathy regardless, the corners of his mouth softening; perry shrugs, and continues, with no small amount of caution, "well, any friend of travis is welcome 'round here."

[baypen]

"so... why are you in charge, anyway?" not critical, nor skeptical, just curious; echo's still trying to understand this new life they've been forced into. they look at jason with a raised brow, as if studying him for the umpteenth time might somehow glean the answers to questions still swirling in their mind. @hienous, jason + echo.

[wheelmans]

“I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN A WHILE.”

baby does well to keep his tone neutral, void of any harbored disappointment and reluctant relief; it’s a dangerous thing to be sentimental, but apathy doesn’t suit him, so he feels it fiercely anyway, emboldened by a feeling of relative safety provided by the shades perched on his nose. baby taps out a rhythm -- keep yourself alive by queen -- and wonders if ace can hear what goes unsaid: i was worried that you were dead. he could’ve easily been, and baby’s stricken with the sudden fear that ace will die and baby will never hear; he’ll simply disappear, and baby will have to live with that, the occasional thought spared towards this man that he can’t even consider a friend -- he’s just nicer than the rest. baby withdraws into himself, tasking himself with finding a different song, reframing his mouth into a frown as if it’s a strenuous job. he hopes ace ignores him, offers nothing more than a shake of his head and a venomous rebuke; it’d make it easier to summon the hatred he should feel, the detachment he feigns so well.  // @hienous

[itchose]

@hienous 💬 "you’re happy? you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know."

he hasn't used that word himself, afraid of the weight of it, like as soon as he says it, it'll all fade away, but when she says it — the person he trusts most in the world — he realizes that's what this feeling is. happy. he's told perry that he's at peace with him, that he's comfortable, that he feels like he belongs— all things that are rear for him, and he's starting to understand what that feeling is, one he hasn't felt in so long, and one, just as she's said, he's never felt like he's allowed to feel.

he nearly starts to smile, but despite her permission, he feels the guilt wash over him, not just of his own self deprecation, but of that one person that is still between he and travis. mikayla's already sworn not to give away his location to nat, and now this just feels like more secrets she's forced to keep. he lifts his cowboy hat from his head, resting it against his chest. ❝  you're not mad at me? ❞ he asks before anything else. ❝  i know it's hard, not... telling her anything, ❞ he says, as if his relationship with mikayla doesn't matter to her as much, even though they've formed their own relationship beyond her. ❝  it's complicated, making you meet him, i know. just think he's going to be in my life for a while, you know? ❞ or is that too much hope for travis? ❝  so it matters to me, what you think of him. ❞ he tries to anticipate how she'll feel about it— if her own still-fresh bitterness with the end of her marriage, added to her loyalty to her best friend, will be taken out on perry, but he still trusts mikayla more than anything.

[itchose]

there's always been a silent understanding between her and @hienous — one that, although they were never able to recapture their friendship from when they were younger, she knew that they'd be there for each other in some way, even if it was from afar. still, melissa wasn't sure if her presence would be welcome, afraid that mikayla wouldn't want to see anyone— but based on the chatter about mikayla from everyone she came across, she was more afraid that mikayla wasn't hearing enough that she didn't do anything wrong.

melissa's thought a lot about leaving, about disappearing entirely so she no longer has to keep looking over her shoulder, but as much as she might believe mikayla has all the others on her side looking out for her, she can't do any of that until she sees her herself — because while she may be able to turn away from most of the others entirely guilt free, she can't stop thinking about mikayla in here, after what melissa witnessed when they were 12. and even though they haven't actually been friends since then, it's easy to remember how important she was to melissa then, how the same smile she had when she was 12 years old forms over her features now when she sees mikayla, relieved just to have her own proof that she survived him.

❝  you're, like, the only person in here who can pull off this look. ❞ it comes out awkwardly, an attempt to keep thing light despite everything sitting between them, but anything out of melissa's mouth would've come out that way, especially after she's spent years feeling like she couldn't compliment mikayla at all, afraid of the implications. ❝  i just mean, um— ❞  she clears her throat, because the correction of 'you look good' still triggers that fear of being found out, one she'd always been more careful with for mikayla's sake. ❝  hi, is what i mean. ❞

[clownfields]

@hienous (🌽) "whatever choice i make, someone always dies."

[clownfields]

@hienous (🌽) "without you, i'd probably just be surviving. i wouldn't really be living."