#higher suppprt needs

[zebulontheplanet]

Anyways.

Higher support needs disabled people needing help with things like eating, going to the bathroom, and showering isn’t gross or babyish.

It isn’t gross to have help showering, or using the bathroom, or any other bADL. Disabled people deserve not to be called gross for needing help with hygiene and things. Disabled people deserve to be seen as people if they need help with these things.

I’m a disabled person who needs help with showering, grooming, and sometimes eating (yes, physically getting the food from the fork to my mouth) and that doesn’t make me gross. That doesn’t make me babyish. That makes me a higher support needs adult. That makes me someone who needs help. Stop saying that these things are gross to need help with, or telling people that “you’re grown, you should be able to do this”. That isn’t helping anyone.

Especially with the autistic community constantly screaming about how we don’t need help with these things, when a lot of us do. A lot of us do need substantial help with bathing, grooming, and toileting. Some of us do need substantial help with all these things, and people need to realize that.

[zebulontheplanet]

Sometimes yes, people with meltdowns do need to be retrained. Sometimes yes, they can seriously hurt themselves. Yes, there is nuance. Restraint can be seriously harmful, but restraint can mean the difference between injuring yourself severely, and someone else hurting you from the restraint.

I’m an autistic person that has violent meltdowns with self injurious behaviors. And yes, this does mean that sometimes I need to be restrained.

I think that in the autism community, there’s a lot of people saying “never restrain!! Never do that!!” And they forget about people like me, who WILL hurt themselves severely if they are not restrained. Does this mean that I allow random people to restrain me during meltdowns? Absolutely fucking not. My caregiver is the ONLY person I trust to restrain me during meltdowns. Why? Because they know how to do it in a way that won’t hurt me, or lead to me hurting them.

I feel like within the autism community, there’s so many people telling us what we can and cannot do. And what our caregivers can and cannot do. YES! Restraint can be life threatening and harmful, but I am prone to hurting myself. To giving myself a head injury, to self harming. It is far more safer for me to be restrained correctly from my caregiver.

Please remember that those of us with higher support needs and more violent meltdowns, do sometimes need to be restrained. However, it’s important to remember anatomy. When my caregiver became my caregiver, that’s one of the first things we talked about, and we came to an agreement and I talked to them about the CORRECT way to restrain me during meltdowns.

Please remember those of us who do need restrained, and please remember those of us that this is the safest option for us.

[zebulontheplanet]

I get confused a lot. I think other people get confused too.

Talk about visible autism sometimes, talk about being visibly disabled. But when talk about it, always get low support needs people saying “yeah, I stim and people notice and stare at me. I’m visibly autistic sometimes”

And don’t think they understand when I say visibly autistic or developmentally disabled. Yes, know that sometimes “visibly autistic” isn’t black and white. Some people do get marked as visibly autistic just for stimming a bit.

But when I talk about visible autism, don’t talk about that. And it can be frustrating. Feels like people talking over me. Just want to scream “you don’t get it”.

Example: was in library yesterday. State Caregivers came with their clients, they sit in library, walk around, watch movies, look at books, eat lunch. They’re required to take their clients out into the community for a certain amount of hours a week, so why not the library? I was there. Was there with my caregiver. Looked over, saw the clients, and saw the caregivers looking at my caregiver with a knowing look. They knew. I knew. Their clients knew. I was like them, and they were like me. Just people sitting in the library who are disabled and require caregivers.

That’s what I’m talking about. That knowing look. That look of pity. That look to my caregiver that says it all. The looks of pity from the librarian. From everyone.

Visible autism for higher support needs autistic people, so much more different than visible autism for low support needs people. And that needs to be realized. Strangers know. And sometimes they don’t know what’s going on, but they all went to school probably, right? They know the special education kids. The “special” kids. Yeah. That’s us. That’s me. They know. I’m tired of people not understanding.

Yes, community. Find middle ground. You’re like me, I’m like you. We are all autistic (those who are autistic), but that doesn’t mean all experiences the same. That doesn’t mean we think, act, eat, sleep, the same. You’re different, and that’s ok.

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello, I saw your post about elopement and wanted to ask: how would you like to be treated/cared for when you elope?

I ask because I am an autistic who has not experienced elopement and I’m trying to learn more about it, but all the resources I can find, as usual, are catered to parents of toddlers and have no autistic adult input.

Feel free to not answer or to correct any ignorance on my part, I’m here to listen.

Hello! I know this is late. But I thought this was an important question that had to be answered.

So, how would I like to be treated with elopement? Kindly. If you notice an autistic person wondering around, being confused, looking lost, then it’s ok in my opinion to stop them and ask if they’re ok or if they’re lost. It’s better safe than sorry.

I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve eloped and gotten recognized by strangers. However, here’s some things that I’d like to see from someone if I eloped and was caught by a stranger.

If you find the person, and it’s confirmed their lost, look for an ID bracelet, or a temporary tattoo, or anything that’d be used for contact information for their guardian or caretaker(s).

Sometimes people with autism will not respond to you. If I’m overwhelmed, then I might not even nod, or do anything. I’ll just stare or look around in a confused manner.

Talk to me calmly and softly, reassure me that things are going to be ok.

If you can’t find a ID bracelet or phone number on me, ask me for the name and number or my caretakers/parents. If I don’t respond, contact the proper authorities.

Please before contacting authorities, look around the store, outside, or around the area for my parents/caretakers. Authorities should be a LAST resort unless i am in immediate danger. Authorities are not properly trained to deal with higher support needs autistic people.

Stay with me until you know it’s safe not to.

Be patient!! I may not respond, I may cry, I may go catatonic or shut down from the stress and being overwhelmed. Be weary of that and act accordingly.

Understand that I need time to respond with my AAC. Be patient.

Overall, just do your best! These are just some pointers. Being patient and understanding is so important. Hope this helps! Have a lovely day.