Hello Again

Zeb | They/Them | |Low/Med support needs| |chronically ill| |22| |Intellectually disabled| [Icon description: Picrew image of Zeb a Masculine presenting with black hair, brown eyes and sweater. Holding up the peace symbol with fingers. Background is green.] [Header Image: A photo of several branches of cherry blossoms]

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello, my name is Zebulon or Zeb and this is my blog. My pronouns are They/Them. More information about me is below!

I am physically disabled, as well as having several mental illnesses.

I have Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, Autism (Diagnosed at 7), ADHD inattentive type, Generalized anxiety disorder, Borderline ID, learning disabilities, and hEDS.

I’m Lesbian and nonbinary. I’m also intersex.

I have ID!! My brain works differently then yours!

My specials interests are not the same as yours. I do not know a lot of information about them due to memory loss/issues. Please don’t ask me to info dump unless you have a specific question about my special interests.

My special interests are; Lesbianism, Autism, Greys Anatomy, medical things, and more.

Follow my adult blog. MINORS DNI with adult blog @zebulontheadult

I am proudly latino-Jewish.

#Zebrambles: tag of me rambling or just talking about unrelated topics

#Zebplanet: tag for any post that gets over a thousand notes.

Help! I don’t know my support needs! What are support needs? Support needs and what they mean 2.0 Support needs and how they blend with p

Updated as of 5/20/2026

[zebulontheplanet]

Update about me, my life, and what I’ve been up to.

Why did I leave?: it wasn’t because of what some specific people did. It was a collection of everything. Social media has high expectations about everything. About what you say. My posts where I talked about things I was actually passionate about wouldn’t get views. But posts I talked about things that centered other people, less marginalized groups, etc, got lots of views. It made me disappointed. I wanted to people to hear me. ALL of me.

The hate was constant. Dozens of DMs, Anons, different social media platforms, of people hating on me. It hurt. I started not caring, but then I just felt exhausted. Mentally drained. I felt performative. People wanted two things, perfection. And palliative content. Not content that called out the bad things. That made people uncomfortable. I hated that.

Anyways, about me. What have I been up to?

I took testosterone for about 6 months give or take. I loved the effects by the 6 months mark. Many of the things I experienced were permanent. So I stopped, cause I got the results I wanted, and I didn’t want anything else. It made me more confident in myself, my gender identity, and also made me think. The more I started to transition into what I wanted, the less I found myself identifying as a transgender man. I started exploring different identities, and eventually found nonbinary most fitting to me.

Along with my gender identity, I started exploring my sexuality. I learned pretty quickly that I wasn’t attracted to men. At all. I started exploring different sexualities. Queer, bisexual, sapphic, etc. I eventually landed on lesbian, and identified as it. I started exploring the community, its terms, and the beauty of it. That’s how I found the term Femme (much different from fem) and started identifying as that as well. I loved it, and still identify as such and LOVE being a femme lesbian.

My health: My health will never be 100%. It will never be to the point where I will never struggle. But my health is a lot better. I got off of high dose steroids shortly after leaving tumblr, and those seemed to help my body a lot and give it what it needed to start getting better. I started working out a bit, being more active, and just overall being happy. I am not a wheelchair user anymore. And I’m not a forearm crutch user anymore. I never thought I’d be able to say those words, but here we are. My chronic illness is still very much there. My biggest struggle right now is fatigue. I have really bad fatigue caused by ME/CFS that keeps me at around the mild/moderate range. I’m in my bed A LOT to put it lightly lol.

Besides that, I’m getting ready to go to college again. I’m exploring different religions, I’m doing so many different things, and I’m excited to tell you all more about it.

[zebulontheplanet]

Oh wow. So much has changed. I’ve been off this app for awhile, not because I was avoiding it (although that was part of the reason) but because I was figuring myself out. Figuring my life out. Figuring out what I was doing and wanted to do.

4 months ago was my last small post. The post before that was 7 months ago. I’ve been focusing on myself, my healing, and my thoughts. I don’t think people realize the mental toll that happens when you are on social media a lot. When you’re on different social media apps and get recognized. When you constantly have people down your throats about different things. It wasn’t fun for me anymore, but I want it to be fun for me. I want to get back into it.

Thank you guys so much for the patience with me, and allowing me time offline to take care of myself. I appreciate that so much, and I can’t wait to continue this account. Even if it is a bit different. ❤️

My next post will be an update about my life and what I’ve been up to.

[zebulontheplanet]

Living with mental health issues isn’t for the weak. Like yes, I’m doing a lot better than I was. But there’s also just the constant apathy, the constant depression, the constant fear that I’m going to fall into an episode again, etc.

I’m medicated, I am. And I’ve been consistently taking my meds. But I don’t think many people understand just how easy it can be to just…fall over that cliff edge. To fall into a hypomanic/and or a manic episode or depressive episode.

Mental health is constant maintaince. It’s constantly making sure that you aren’t too stressed, aren’t too overworked, aren’t too depressed, aren’t so many things. It’s exhausting and a full time job in itself.

Schizoaffective isn’t for the weak. BPD isn’t for the weak. None of it is for the weak. None of it is enough sometimes. You can be compliant with your medication, you can get rid of stressors, you can do everything you’re supposed to, and sometimes it isn’t enough. I don’t think people realize that.

[zebulontheplanet]

People on my god damn post about marginalized AAC users once again are finding it and making it ALLLLL about them and their own opinions.

Shut your bitch ass up. That post wasnt about you.

It wasn’t for you to debate about how you don’t think a certain form of communication is valid.

Shit. Y’all piss me the fuck off.

[identitty-dickruption]

even growing up in a majority non-white neighbourhood with a mum who used to live in india meant that my safe foods growing up were palak paneer and mango lassi. and, unrelatedly, my biggest sensory trigger was meat, particularly processed meats like. say. chicken nuggets. the thing about autism is that things are safe because they’re familiar, they’re consistent, and they’re reliable. and all of those things are soo contextual. I don’t really. understand. how anyone could think that only one category of anything (but especially food) could be Universally Safe unless they somehow forget that the universe includes people who aren’t them 🤔 crazy

[identitty-dickruption]

I remember a conflict over catering for a disability event coming up because one person involved wanted the entire thing to be chicken and chips. citing the fact that chicken is a safe food. and quite apart from the fact that it wouldn’t have met specific allergy concerns. what do you mean chicken is a “safe food”? for who? quite frankly not an assumption anyone can (or should) be making

[wheelie-sick]

What antipsychiatrists believe:*

another introductory post to some basic antipsychiatry beliefs in a condensed bullet list for your convenience

you have a right to go to therapy under this system AND we need a different system that doesn't create abuse for the patient AND you have a right to not go to therapy/an alternative ever under any system

you have a right to see a psychiatrist under this system AND we need a different system that doesn't create abuse AND you have a right to never see a psychiatrist or alternative under any system

you have a right to take medication under this system AND we need a different system that doesn't use medication as a tool for abuse AND you have a right to never take any medication under any system for any reason

you have a right to set a recovery goal for yourself and seek to complete it AND we need to stop forcing people to "recover" to any standard AND you have a right to never attempt recovery for any reason

you have a right to seek a diagnosis or define yourself with one under this system AND we need a system that ends unwanted pathologization of psychiatrized traits AND you have a right to never label yourself ever for any reason

you have a right to admit yourself to a psych ward under this system AND we need an end to residential "care" with the power to abuse AND even in a better system you have a right to never enter any residential care

overall one of the primary components of antipsychiatry is and always will be autonomy. if you want to exist within the psychiatric system you have that right.

liking your therapy/psychiatrist/medications/recovery goals/diagnosis/experiences in a psych ward does not mean that you can't be antipsychiatry. you don't have to erase your positive experiences to acknowledge that the system is inherently abusive and must go to be replaced with something better. (I always try to emphasize that the plan in antipsychiatry is not "leave everyone stranded")

autonomy 5ever ✊

*antipsychiatrists are a diverse group of people with diverse opinions. these are generalizations and individual antipsychiatrists may differ on these

**these are oversimplifications of complex and nuanced beliefs. these beliefs (including my own personal beliefs) are not fully represented in a handful of sentences

[zebulontheplanet]

People really don’t seem to understand how much music can affect those who are bipolar.

I have whole playlists that are specifically for when I’m manic. Why? That doesn’t seem healthy, does it? No. It’s a coping skill that I learned. If I keep my brain stimulated and in a good mood while manic, then I have a less chance of running the streets, self harming, doing drugs, etc.

But it also means that sometimes I hear songs outside of mania that I listen to while manic and it does sorta give me flash backs. There are certain songs that I attribute to certain experiences because I was listening to that song on repeat while doing stupid shit while manic.

It sucks. Music is such a huge coping skill for me, and I have turned it into not something that I can enjoy, but something that I NEED during mania. It makes music less enjoyable.

[zebulontheplanet]

People are so weird when you say you’re finally on a treatment that actually works for your physical disabilities and you’re doing better.

“So…you arent disabled anymore?” No. My disabilities are still there. I still struggle. It’s just better.

That’s the number 1 question I get. So you arent disabled anymore? Dude. I’m still disabled. A medication isn’t a fix all for disabilities like mine. And they certainly don’t just go away. It’s called treatment for a reason. Not a cure.

[deaf-schizo-cat]

I <3 you pediatric psych survivors. We've dealt with so much and we're still alive and kicking. It wasn't right how they treated us and nothing you ever did could have ever justified it

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Gonna rant for a second bc I saw a post on my dash with a dumbass addition from a gringo so like. It's so funny when gringos specifically wanna get up in arms about latin america "giving sanctuary" to nazis after WWII because like. Nazis who fled to Brasil and Argentina were illegally smuggled into those countries by wealthy collaborators, and had to change their identities and spend the rest of their lives in hiding to avoid being tried for their crimes. Nazis who fled to the US were taken there as part of an official government program that gave them cushy government jobs as scientists and engineers. Only one of those situations is one I'd describe as a country "giving sanctuary" to nazis.

[wheelie-sick]

sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.

[wheelie-sick]

I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?

and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.

[nepenthean-sleep]

one of the most traumatizing things i witnessed in the psychiatric hospital was a man of color who was held down by six police officers, face held down into the linoleum floor, a nurse taking off his hospital gown and underwear to inject him with psychiatric medication as he screamed at the top of his lungs for them not to do so. then they put him in a solitary soundproof room.

prior to this, he was non-violent, quiet, walking around, saying hi to other patients. he said hi to me. i heard the nurses saying he had been found under an overpass the previous night, confused. i never saw him again. for the next nine days i spent in the hospital, i was terrified of that happening to me, too.

i know most non-psychotic people think calling 911 and institutionalization helps us, but in most cases, it causes way more harm.

[zebulontheplanet]

When I was first admitted to a psychiatric hospital, I was in the adolescent ward and the child ward was right next to us and sometimes we would see them. The adolescent ward was for anyone 13 and older.

One of the most traumatizing things I saw was a young black boy being restrained and then strapped to a board with restrains. He was a child. No older than 11. He was crying, calling for his mom, and saying he couldn’t breathe. The white nurses were apathetic and told him to stop crying and then he’d be able to breathe.

I walked past, staring at this little boy without being able to do anything in fear that if I did, I would be in the same position as him. We were ushered past, and I just felt great sadness for this young boy who from what I heard, wasnt violent, but simply had a meltdown because his mom left.

Police were not there, but security was. They held down this boy so he could be restrained. They were big men, and this boy was small. He did not need three security officers holding him down.

Racism is rampant in mental health facilities. He was seen as violent. He was not violent. He wanted his mom. I felt so bad for that boy…and wondered if they would have treated a white boy differently.

I saw many racist things within mental health facilities. Black people are seen as violent. Black woman and men are restrained more than their white peers. I had multiple conversations with my black peers and they would express their fear of showing any signs of being upset in fear of what they’d do. It is terrible.

[zebulontheplanet]

I’m starting testosterone but just found out it can take up to two weeks for my insurance to cover it. I am soooo impatient.

[zebulontheplanet]

I say this and they call me telling me it’s approved and I can pick it up today. YAY!!

[zebulontheplanet]

I’m starting testosterone but just found out it can take up to two weeks for my insurance to cover it. I am soooo impatient.

[wheelie-sick]

once you experience psych abuse you never feel safe with a psychiatrist/therapist ever again

and that is entirely justified

it's not "just a few bad apples" it's a system that enforces sanism.

[wheelie-sick]

this is why I don't believe people when they say they dislocate joints 8,000× a day. I don't think they're lying, I just think they're wrong.

if this was true you would have some wild tissue & nerve damage. you would be in and out of urgent care- they would know you by name. yes, you can sometimes learn to relocate joints yourself but it's super fucking hard to actually do that (and sometimes impossible)

but like

I have less than 50% of the cartilage beneath my kneecaps left and I have only had one major dislocation and many smaller ones (certainly not every day). if you were dealing with daily dislocations then you would have serious osteoarthritis and would be looking at joint replacement.

joint makes popping sound ≠ dislocation or subluxation

[zebulontheplanet]

People dont realize that joints popping doesn’t automatically mean a sublaxation or dislocation.

I have never dislocated anything LUCKILY. But I do sublaxate pretty frequently (not everyday) and it has caused permanent damage to my knees and hips.

It’s PAINFUL and not something you can walk through. Each time I scream out in pain and double over because of the pain and have to stop whatever I’m doing because it hurts so freaking bad. It’s been confirmed I do sublaxate too so I’m not saying it Willy Nilly either.

If you’re dislocating then you NEED to see a doctor (which if you are then you probably have because youd be at the hospital) and wouldn’t usually be able to pop it back into place yourself.

Sublaxations have slowly been damaging my knees and hips and slowly been taking my ability to walk all together due to the damage. They are SERIOUS and not a silly little thing that just happens.

It’s caused by loose ligaments (usually) and having loose ligaments itself causes damage as well. I am CONSTANTLY pulling muscles and causing myself pain because of JUST having loose ligaments. And have chronic inflammation in my body because of it that requires daily medication to manage.

hEDS is serious. And I think the more we talk about it, we need to talk about the people who are having irreversible damage to their bodies and having their mobility slowly taken because their body is continuing to have damage.

[electronicmail]

honestly look at the bright side at least you’re not 14

I’M NOT FOURTEEN!!!!!!