#meltdowns

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Triggers of Autistic Meltdowns

Neurodivergent_lou

[beesareyes]

I need tfc member reaction to the MC having a meltdown/break down. Where everything is overwhelming and they start to get agitated with every little thing until it all overflows and they are upset at everything. Pulling their hair, hitting things and themselves, crying, not being able to properly talk because she is just so frustrated. Pleaseeee

-from an autistic with ADHD.

[desultory-suggestions]

Pay attention to what makes you feel on edge. If you’re feeling angry try to stop and assess what is triggering that anger. It doesn’t have to make sense. Is the sound of shoes squeaking on the floor grating? Is the way someone is asking you for something upsetting even if the ask isn’t? Understanding what is bothering us is the first step to diffusing our anger.

[zebulontheplanet]

Sometimes yes, people with meltdowns do need to be retrained. Sometimes yes, they can seriously hurt themselves. Yes, there is nuance. Restraint can be seriously harmful, but restraint can mean the difference between injuring yourself severely, and someone else hurting you from the restraint.

I’m an autistic person that has violent meltdowns with self injurious behaviors. And yes, this does mean that sometimes I need to be restrained.

I think that in the autism community, there’s a lot of people saying “never restrain!! Never do that!!” And they forget about people like me, who WILL hurt themselves severely if they are not restrained. Does this mean that I allow random people to restrain me during meltdowns? Absolutely fucking not. My caregiver is the ONLY person I trust to restrain me during meltdowns. Why? Because they know how to do it in a way that won’t hurt me, or lead to me hurting them.

I feel like within the autism community, there’s so many people telling us what we can and cannot do. And what our caregivers can and cannot do. YES! Restraint can be life threatening and harmful, but I am prone to hurting myself. To giving myself a head injury, to self harming. It is far more safer for me to be restrained correctly from my caregiver.

Please remember that those of us with higher support needs and more violent meltdowns, do sometimes need to be restrained. However, it’s important to remember anatomy. When my caregiver became my caregiver, that’s one of the first things we talked about, and we came to an agreement and I talked to them about the CORRECT way to restrain me during meltdowns.

Please remember those of us who do need restrained, and please remember those of us that this is the safest option for us.

[theorahsart]

Here's a comic I made a few years ago, explaining autistic meltdowns and shutdowns in detail! They can be pretty different to what you might expect- I didnt even realise I was experiencing them for years. I thought they were panic attacks that just happened to last much longer than an average person's, or that I was very sensitive- newsflash, it was actually autism lol

[theclowncarcircus]

Yuna was fuming.

She knew she shouldn't rewatch the clip, but it warmed a small part of her to see how good Shane and Ilya were with you. She just hated that this was once again a moment they hadn't wanted broadcasted; shared to the public without their consent.

"Papa! You said home tonight! Home tonight, please!" Ilya stands beside you and Shane protectively, keeping you blocked off from the rest of the airport as best as possible. Your meltdown wasn't as intense as some he had seen, but he knew how vulnerable you felt during them.

"Hey, hey, do you need me to squeeze you? Hmm? Can Papa give you a squeeze?" Shane encourages over your whining, your hands fisting his shirt tight.

"Home!" You shout, crumbling into his chest and clinging to him. Your head rubs furiously back and forth onto his shoulder, sobbing as he wraps his arms around you. He squeezes you as tight as he can, noticing immediately that your body starts to go lax.

"I'm so sorry that we aren't going home tonight, baby. I want to go home too. But we're going back to the hotel tonight, and I promise, pinky promise, we'll go home tomorrow." You give him a headbutt to the chest, but there's barely any force behind it. "I know, I said home today, but it's not safe. What's my job, baby?"

"Hockey."

Shane couldn't help but chuckle, leaning you back so he could look at you with a soft smile. "Not that. What did Papa and Dada promise to do when we adopted you?"

"Promise to keep me safe." You whisper, patting his cheek softly. Shane kisses your palm, standing up and letting Ilya take you into his arms.

"That's right. Plane isn't safe tonight. Room service and movie of your choice are safe tonight." Iyla kisses your forehead, looking concerned when your bottom lip wobbles.

"Sorry I pushed you, Dada." You sniffle, immediately getting soft kisses all over your face.

"Dada understands, little bunny. Let's get you some food."

The video had conveniently been cut when you had yelled, multiple headlines already popping up about "Hollander-Rosanov "gentle parenting" leads to bratty outburst." Or better yet "Newly adopted Hollander-Rosanov little already showing spoiled, bad behavior." She knew Ilya and Shane started staying off of their phones first thing in the morning, especially if they wanted to catch an early flight.

She just hoped she could get enough of these articles taken down before they made it back home with you.

Shane was worried about you. You hadn't spoken since you'd seen the video, gotten a glimpse at some of the articles about you and your meltdown. This wasn't the usual silence after a meltdown. You were tense and nervous, picking angrily at your nails and flaps of skin on your fingers.

He glances at Ilya from the driver's side of the car, then down at his husband's hand covering his. You weren't the only one who was nervous. He pulls into the driveway of the cottage, watching as you quickly climb out of the car and straight for the door. You fumble with your own key for a second, stumbling into the house when you push it open and making a beeline for your room.

You go into the closet, sitting with your back against the wall and curling up on yourself. You had only had a meltdown in public one time, years ago at school. It was humiliating, and some kids had held it over you for the rest of the year. You felt guilty for leaving Ilya and Shane to unpack the car, but the tears were coming fast and hard.

You hated crying in front of them when you were big. Your head was buzzing, rocking back and forth as you pressed your forehead into your knees. Of course, someone saw. Of course, they filmed it, and now Shane and Ilya would give you back. They were nice enough to deal with your meltdowns in the house, but you had made a fool out of them. There's no way they'd want you now.

You stopped crying after a few minutes, rubbing your snotty nose on your pants. "Hey, can I open the door?" You're surprised to hear Yuna on the other side of the closet door, softly pushing it open to look at her. "Are you big right now?" You nod slowly, lowering your head back to your knees.

"I'm sorry I let you down... I didn't mean to make you guys look bad." You hiccup, rubbing your palms against your jeans. Yuna reaches out and places a hand on your head, scratching your scalp with her long nails.

"You didn't let any of us down." She promises, her heart breaking as she sees how much this affected you. "You were in a very vulnerable moment, and someone took advantage of that for their own selfish gain. Even if you were throwing a tantrum, do you think Shane and Ilya should've handled it differently?"

"You did handle it." She assures, watching when you slowly lift your head to look at her. "You just needed a little help. And no one should've exploited that." You crawl out of the closet and into her lap, head resting on her shoulder. "You're one of the best things that happened to this family. I never want anyone to make you feel like you aren't." Fresh tears fill your eyes, but you hold them at bay, breathing in her soft, soothing scent.

You thought for a moment, shrugged, then shook your head no. "But I should've been able to handle it." Your voice was small, ashamed.

It took a while before you wanted to leave your room with Yuna, smelling something delicious cooking in the kitchen. David was there, frying thin chicken filets for chicken parm, while Ilya and Shane were working side by side on their laptop. Ilya looks up and smiles at you, opening his arm so you can come get a cuddle.

You lean into his side, surprised to see a long typed post addressing the whole situation. "I had to edit it a lot. Shane was getting angry." Ilya chuckles, making you crack a smile as you start reading. There was an angry undercurrent to the whole statement, calling out anyone who thought it was appropriate to shame littles online.

"Thank you." You whisper, watching as Shane edits a few more sentences before hitting post.

"It's our job to keep you safe. That's what we'll do." Ilya presses a kiss to your head. "Wash up for dinner. We're going to eat outside, okay?" He knew how much you liked eating on the back porch, listening to the loons as the sun set.

"Okay, Dada." You mumble, that safe fuzzy feeling creeping into the corners of your mind. You were so happy to be home.

[auschizm]

An autistic meltdown is a complete loss of control over your behavior and should never be treated like a deliberate, manipulate act meant to provoke a certain response