High school honestly sucked.
A lot of people, shows, and memoirs retell high school as a moment to look back on and long for time and time again.
However, I do not feel that way. Maybe it was because I was plucked and spat out in the middle of my life into a town I didn't necessarily like. From the city to the suburbs, from people just like me- as unconventional in interests, mentality, hopes and dreams, yet so open minded to a town where everybody felt uniform and conventional. I honestly, didn't mind high school. But to call it a golden moment in life, oh absolutely not.
I understand everyone's experiences are different. I'm simply sharing mine. Despite meeting so many people almost everyone struck me as a surface level obstacle to whom I really wanted to be. I worked hard to become someone who amidst my struggles, can have the confidence to hold healthy boundaries, who can handle pressure with patience, and not entertain the trivial drama. I've worked hard for my image to be genuine, as clean and genuine as I know my heart has become.
Yet nobody has ever matched that. Almost every friend I've ever made in this town has ended up being nothing but embarrassing, hurtful, and completely against what I believe in. I know no friend is perfect. Yet all I ask for, is honesty, sanity, and appreciation. Basic respect. I refuse to be like others in my now ended class, who stay in friendships without change and with grudges and pain that's unforgivable in the sense the wrongs are literal crimes. I have amazing friends, just never from my area or from my now no longer school. I can maintain long, healthy, bountiful friendships. It's just the environment I'm in that bleeds toxic doubt into my social health and its capabilities.
I refuse to settle, and I know it'll bring me far. Yet sometimes it really does suck to know that refusing to settle for garbage friends and bonds, means being a little lonelier. I can't wait for where college will take me. All I know is I will be happier and for once, with people my age, in the same area, who’lI actually respect me in every aspect that is healthy and stable. I hope to find people that care the same way I do, from afar and near, for the ones whom they love platonically.
