Alcohol at Weddings!
Let’s face it: Alcohol can be essential at weddings. Of course, this all depends on your personal beliefs – some weddings are drier than the Mojave, but still a great time – but wedding nerves are real. And beyond the bubbling white you’ll likely use as a companion to the toasts, you might find yourself needing a worthy adversary for those day-of jitters. Do you need to be self-conscious about the judgment of others if you’re sneaking a nip or two before the ceremony. Of course not! It’s your day. But, as they say, all good things in moderation.
Moderation, however, can be the devil when it comes to supply for your guests. One of the toughest decisions we’ve encountered over the last few years is how much booze to budget for. When you start to consider the plus ones, the extended family, the extended-extended family, the neighbors your mom decided to invite last minute because she ran into them at the deli – it becomes a potentially hostile crowd to deal with. Maybe not overtly, but they’ll be talkin’ at brunch the next morning for sure. Now, it’s perfectly fine to limit your bar selection to beer and wine, or limit the liquor selection to “call brands” if budget is a concern, but you need to have enough. And no one wants to deal with a depleted bar midway through a reception – no one!
Of course, just as the salmon of Capistrano will never instinctively flock (the swallows might though), the beer shouldn’t necessarily flow like wine either. We are not suggesting over serving, and we get plenty of parents that are concerned about this issue at receptions. One of my personal favorites are the moms who tell me that the beverage estimate is too high, because all of their kid’s friends are “so nice and responsible.” Yea, maybe. But this is a wedding. It’s a huge event, not just for you (and your mom), but for everyone. And some of those responsible people are going to get drunk when they drink more than the industry estimate of 6 glasses per person.
The good news, is that this shouldn’t be a major concern for you. Respectable venues (aka the ones we do business with) should employ TIPS-trained bartenders and we have even seen bartenders stop serving certain people over the years. Of course, cutting off those that have had too many glasses isn’t a catch-all solution. People metabolize alcohol differently. Plenty of people take time to get to that sick stage, others hop one the hot mess train at its first stop. It happens! While you likely care for your wedding guests on a personal level, don’t let an instance like this ruin your day. Allowing for an enjoyable and safe amount of alcohol consumption for your guests is your responsibility. Limiting their alcohol consumption is not. If a guest is the type to get out of control when they drink too much, odds are they’re going to find a way to get that drunk all on their own (flasks exist). Plan, provide, prevent, but don’t prescribe.
Speaking of “prescriptions,” another funny request from moms is when they ask to have the bartenders serve non-premium brands to the younger crowd and leave the top-shelf bottles for the older adults. Problem is, you can usually see what’s being served from behind the bar. If someone asks for a type of alcohol by name, the bartender is going to serve it! Besides, unless the budget is really tight, you probably don’t want a “call bar,” and you certainly don’t want to make your guests pay for their own alcohol at a cash bar. They’ll be looking for complimentary beverages, and there are only so many purple hearts out there to entice another guest’s generosity. Wedding Crashers anyone?
Last point, since we’re on the topic of cash and bars…don’t allow the bartenders to have tip jars on display. As a wedding planner, I certainly won’t It’s tacky! They should be tipped by the host as part of the agreement, and they shouldn’t have their hands out asking for your guests’ money.
So the golden rule is? Have alcohol! Enough for you. Enough for your guests. Just don’t make them pay for it!
