I'm here for you nerding out about history, so: 4, 5, 9, 13, 29!
Oh boy, do I have a long post for you... One of these took up A LOT of time fact-checking and researching, I could do a power point presentation on it ;)
4) Favourite historical era?
The Italian Renaissance, hands down. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am such a fucking dweeb for the Renaissance. Specifically the 1400s in Florence, during the rise of The Medici. Say what you want about them, (yes they were corrupt and essentially a Renaissance version of a mafia family) but the good they did for Florence AND the preservation of ancient culture cannot be denied.
To be able to live during that time, when art and literature and philosophy was thriving. Where new ideas about love and spirituality were making their ways into the intelligentsia, I would have LOVED to witness that.
Thing is, I’d have to do it disguised as a man, because history is a bag of dicks, unfortunately. But just to be able to be a part of a symposium with Marsilio Ficino, Pico della Mirandola, and Lorenzo dei’ Medici and just listen to them discuss Plato and the ways of Platonic Love. To bear witness to Botticelli painting or Michelangelo sculpting. My sibling once told me I have a “Renaissance Face” (which was probably the best compliment they could have given me). If that could have gotten me an in, with these guys, even as a model, it would have been fine with me. Just to watch the masters at their craft.
I dunno, maybe I could have joined them (disguised as a man, of course), and share my own thoughts about philosophy and love and sacred bonds between people. Maybe talk about new ideas involving gender… who knows?
Not to mention, Florence also had a thriving underground queer scene during this time… so… do with that what you will.
Renaissance Florence… Sometime between 1450 and 1490.
You know, as much as I love history, I really don’t care for the military stuff. In fact, I had to look up Ancient Roman weapons, because if I were to have a favourite weapon, it would be from the Roman Empire.
So, in my quick research of Roman weaponry, I remembered that the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire) had a fucking BADASS weapon that had everyone from the Crusaders to the Mongols quaking. They called it Greek Fire, and it was typically used during naval battles. What you would have, if a flame-thrower device attached to the front of your ship and Greek Fire would just come out from there. The precise recipe for Greek Fire has been lost to the ages, but you did not want to fuck with it.
What made Greek Fire especially horrifying was that it would continue to burn while in contact with water. You could not douse it. You just had to let it burn until it ran out. Think of that creepy bright green fire from Game Of Thrones. The one that they used for the Battle of Blackwater and that epic church explosion. That would be the closest thing to Greek Fire that I can think of. It was terrifying, amazing, and allowed Constantinople to remain a military powerhouse in the Mediterranean, despite constantly being threatened by neighbouring empires.
9) Favourite historical film?
I already answered this question in another ask. It’s La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful). I highly encourage everyone to watch this movie, but only when feeling emotionally stable because it has a VERY sad ending.
Here are some other historical movies I REALLY love:
The King’s Speech - Can’t stand the Monarchy, but GOD I love Colin Firth and he is AMAZING as King George VI.
The Young Victoria - Again… Do not like the Monarchy, but Emily Blunt is so charming, and this was such a sweet movie.
The Imitation Game - Made me seeth in fury over the injustice served to Alan Turing, but fucking Bumblebee Cabbagepatch was SO GOOD.
And again… SO many movies I need to watch… I mean Jesus.
13) Something random about some random historical person in a random era.
This random fact is about the Emperor Justinian and his Consort, the Empress Theodora. He changed a marriage law in order to be able to marry her.
Back in the Early days of the Eastern Roman Empire (or Byzantine Empire), around 525 CE, you weren’t allowed to marry beneath your class, and Theodora was not only a commoner, but she was an… an… actress! (cue shocked gasps and pearl clutching here). Mind you, she was also known as a prostitute, but that’s debatable. Anyway, Justinian created a law so that her status could be changed, and then changed another law, so that he could marry her. He was so in love with her, that he did not give any shits about what anyone had to say about their union.
And honestly, he could not have picked a better Consort. Theodora was smart, funny, and an all-around badass. She challenged him, matched him, and took charge when she needed to. She was the reason the Nika Revolts failed and the Emperor kept his throne. She cared for Justinian while he was fighting the Plague (yes, that Plague, it was around during Justinian’s time too).
29) Great historical mystery you are interested in?
Oooo… This is another REALLY good question.
The first answer I came up with is a bit of a “cheat” amongst historians. A sorta of “of course you would pick that, everyone wants to know what happened there”, but I really don’t care. When I first heard about The Princes In The Tower, I was beyond fascinated by their story and the mystery surrounding them.
Ok, a bit of a backstory. Picture it. England, 1483. For the last several decades, the country has been ravaged by a civil war known as The Wars of The Roses. I will NOT go into this, because Christ we do not have time for that. All you need to know for this story is that the current monarch is Edward IV. He has MANY children, among which are two young sons (an heir and a spare). If he can keep hold of his reign for long enough, he is set to establish a new dynasty. Unfortunately for him, he dies in April after an unexpected illness (do with this what you will, could have been poison, could have been the Middle Ages where a paper cut could kill you).
Now, England did not really have a Law of Succession (that would come MUCH later, in 1701), a reigning monarch would have to hope that his vassals would follow who he deemed as heir and not stir any shit. For the most part, it worked out well, but there were a couple of instances where shenanigans took place (see: Empress Matilda and The Anarchy). ANYWAY, the heir to the British throne was Edward IV’s son, Edward V. Thing is, Edward’s 12. He’s a child, and not ready to take the throne. Before his death, Edward IV established that until the time of his son’s majority, the Kingdom would be ruled under a Regency, headed by his younger brother, Richard, Duke of Gloucester. Richard would henceforth be known as the Lord Protector (the most powerful guy in the Kingdom, basically).
Makes sense, right? Well, get ready for some shenanigans.
This is already getting WAY too long, so I’ll speed things up. Richard claims that the King isn’t safe with his current protectors (his maternal uncle, and his half-brother), so he has them arrested and executed and the King placed under his custody (for his protection). This causes the King’s mother, Elizabeth Woodville to go into sanctuary at Westminster Abbey. She takes her remaining children with her (including the spare, 9 year old Richard, Duke of York).
Up until this point, everyone is certain that the young King will be coronated as soon as he and Uncle Richard arrive in London. However, that does not happen. The coronation is postponed again, and again, and again. The young King, meanwhile, is sent to live in the Tower of London (which at that time served as a place where one would wait to be coronated). Here’s where things get a little dicey, see Uncle Richard claims his dearly departed brother was previously married before Elizabeth Woodville, thereby making any and all his children illegitimate. Thus making him the true heir to the throne. Around this time, Richard requested that the 9-year old Duke of York be sent as well to be protected in the Tower.
The last time anyone would see the two Princes would be in the summer of 1483. Richard is crowned King Richard III (of Shakespeare fame) and would go on to rule for a little while before dying at the Battle of Bosworth Field (where “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” comes from). Henry Tudor becomes King Henry VII and establishes the well-known Tudor dynasty.
The fate of the boys remains, to this day, unknown. There are many theories as to what happened. The most popular one being that they were smothered with a pillow and buried under a staircase in the Tower. In fact, a couple of centuries later, some bones were found in the tower and were assumed to be those of the two Princes. However, examinations in the 30s showed them to contain animal bones, along with the bones of two small children. No further testing was done, and the bones were re-buried. There have been petitions for there to be DNA testing involved, but Queen Elizabeth II refused to do so.
Who knows, maybe King Charlie III is just as curious as the rest of us, and will agree to exhume the bodies once more.
There are other theories and many pretenders that have popped up throughout history, but this post is already STUPID long, so I’ll leave it here
ASK ME HISTORICAL QUESTIONS! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!
