Can Hith have children? If you asked her directly she'd say no.
In actuality she is able to have children, but the likelihood of her conceiving is low. Her body changes very slowly, so for about a week once a year she is fertile. She doesn't realize this is possible so she's not careful with her partners, assuming that she's sterile due to her reanimated condition.
For the safety of her unborn child she would not practice her magic while pregnant, unless it is to carefully intake energy. She would need to maintain her energy at a higher threshold so that she is as close to "living" as she can get.
Pregnancy is a very natural process so her body goes through the motions quite well all things considered.
Hithfaeril pulled her ebony ponytail through the small hole at the back of her hat, fitting it upon her head as she turned to her son, offering him a smile. Over time, the human expressions had become easier for her face to make, she found value in the ability that expressions had to silently convey emotional speech with the other species. “There, I now appear as though I am a regular coach of Bases and Ball.”
Alexson winced, preparing for the embarrassment that he was going to endure throughout the tournament weekend. “It’s Baseball, Mom.” He said beneath his breath as he chucked his glove inside his bag. Alexson was fifteen and if that stage of life wasn’t difficult enough, he stood out from the majority Human/Tymalian population of Bellatrix Prima. His skin was not as dark as his mother’s, but instead was a blusish-goldish-greyish shade, a mixture that was a point of interest for his insensitive classmates. Alexson had his father’s eyes and hair, and was glad to look human on that front; although he had to be careful not to blink his second eyelid. Baseball was a good sport, it was a morning sport with no risk of moon-light highlighting his other unpleasant Nyctcimmerian features.
Baseball was a good sport, before his mother became his coach.
“Baseball, thank you for your correction I--”
“I’ve been playing for 5 years, you know every calculation and formula but you can’t even remember the simplest word.” Alexson said in a burst of frustration as he watched his mother pack her own bag.
“There are so many athletics that I-”
“Sports. Mom, they are called sports. Normal people call them sports, Aliens call them athletics.”
Hithfaeril didn’t have a reply for her son. This behavior was not out of the norm for Alexson. According to her research, moodiness was a normal stage of human development, epsecially in the teen years. Yet just because it was normal did not mean it hurt her any less. “Ah, yes. Hmm.” She looked around the room as she thought of an excuse. “I will just, then, bring the cooler and the sports-bags to the vehicle.”
Alexson's heart sunk in his chest as he watched his mother leave. He wanted to apologize, but she was already out the door.
~
“Hithfaeril, are you sure that your can handle being out there in the sun?" Ashan brushed the back of his finger over her cheek endearingly. "You burn so quickly."
Hithfaeril gently pressed her cheek into the touch. "I will manage. I have sunscreen on, this hat, and sunglasses." Speaking of which, she put her dark glasses on. "... I think, perhaps you should coach this weekend instead."
"What? You have been looking forward to this moment ever since Alexson first joined. I'm not going to take this away from you."
"Perhaps it would be for the better."
Hithfaeril turned back to the house but Ashan was prepared. His wife's behavior was systematic, predictable. He grabbed her waist and pulled her back into him, playfully pinning her against the side of the car. "There is something that you are not telling me."
Hithfaeril tried to shrug away from the gentle airflow of his breathing apparatus, it tickled her neck. "Really, it is nothing of interest."
"Don't make me take my mask off..."
Hithfaeril remained in her stubborn silence until Ashan lifted his hand. Just the thought of lips and stubble brushing against her neck was too much for her to handle. She gave in, pressing herself flat against the car to get away, she felt his hand return to her hip as he pinned her more firmly. "I am concerned that I am meddling too much, that I will embarrass Alexson in front of his companions. There are still things that I get incorrect, I do not wish to make existence any more difficult for him."
Ashan was disappointed that his wife didn't put up much resistance. He loved to watch her endearing alien laugh, the way her shoulders raised as she shied away from his kisses. He recalled the time he discovered how particularly ticklish her neck was, he didn't realize the noise she was making was laughter, he had never heard a Nyctcimmerian laugh before. "You'll be fine." He reassured, letting her turn and face him in his arms. "Don't over think it, be yourself." Removing his mask he placed a reassuring kiss upon her lips. "You know... I enjoy this baseball look on you..." He kissed her again, his hands toying with the waistband of her leggings. "I want to have you in this later... Pull the leggings down just far enough..."
Hithfaeril gave Ashan a stern look.
"Let it be noted that you never said no!" He grinned, placing one last kiss on her hair before walking away with his mask in place. "I'll bring the last of the gear out, you wait in the car."
~
The sun raced to the peak of dawn, slowing down to prepare for its crawl across the sky. The morning air was filled with the scent of freshly mowed grass, grass that was being pulled down by the weight of fresh dew drops. Refreshing was the first word that came to Hithfaeril’s mind, the air of Bellatrix Prima was clear and light when she compared it to the memories of the thick atmosphere of her home planet. “It will be a pleasant day for sports.” Hithfaeril exited the car glancing over to Alexson. He was busy on his phone.
“Hey! Other Silvaks!”
Hithfaeril looked to where the voice came from, she couldn’t make out anything but vague blurred colours, fortunately she recognized Thea’s voice. “You are all remarkably on time today.”
Thea laughed, helping lift her smaller daughters down the steps of their van. “That’s because we knew that Auntie Hithfaeril was coaching today, we didn’t want to get on her bad side. Right girls?”
“Right!” The daughters exclaimed, rushing over to greet Hithfaeril, Ashan, and Alexson with obligatory hugs.
Enelden’s head popped up from the other side of the van. There were several bags strapped over his shoulders, he held a wrap in one hand and had a tired looking toddler in the other arm. “Morning!” He called over, closing the door with his hip, waving with his breakfast. “Ready for the big games today, Alexson?”
Alexson tucked his phone in his bag when the onslaught of his part-Rosian cousins trampled over. “Ready as I’ll ever be Uncle Enelden, it’s the last few of the season.”
Hithfaeril watched as Charlie, Enelden and Thea’s fifteen year old daughter approached. She was the only one of the daughters to play baseball. She wore her green uniform, but her glove, bat, and bag were pink. Hithfaeril raised a brow when Charlie pointed the tip of her bat in her face. "Hmm, good morning Charlie, are you prepared to have fun today?"
Charlie nodded, popping her bubble gum. “I'm ready to win this year. In case you're wondering Auntie Hithfaeril, I made sure everyone was up in time and ready and I'll do the same tomorrow.” She squinted, intensity burning in her purplish eyes. “You’re the only coach I respect.”
Hithfaeril nodded her head and watched as Charlie continued her determined walk to the field.
~
Enelden’s stomach rumbled. He was in a predicament. Eyela, in one arm, was pulling at his lip while the wrap in his other hand was moments from falling apart. Ashan came to his aid, carefully lifting Eyela from her father, coaxing her curled fist from his lip.
There was a soft spot in Ashan's heart for all of his nieces, they reminded him of his three daughters whom he didn’t see often now that they were older and tied down to the commitments of jobs and boyfriends on other planets.
Enelden gave his brother a grateful look. “Thank you, that was close.” There was a moment of silence wherein Enelden greedily ate his wrap while Ashan longingly watched the girls pick dandelions. His daughters always did the same.
“Thea is on her tenth now?" Ashan asked, looking for idle chat to clear his mind. "I don’t know how you do it, three was a handful, the thought of ten gives me anxiety.”
“Ten, yeah.” Enelden said between bites. “Number ten is our last!”
“You’ve said that from four onwards.”
Enelden laughed, looking over to his wife with a dreamy smile. “Well, that’s what I thought but it’s so difficult to say no when I look at her.”
Ashan rolled his eyes. Eyela enthusiastically hit her uncle’s breathing mask, decorating it with small hand prints. “You’ve got peanut butter on your beard, Enelden.” He left to find a spot on the bleachers.
“Wait, where? Did I get it?” Enelden patted his beard, hastily following his brother.
~
Alexson was glad that Charlie made it early enough to warm up with him. The two jogged a lap, Alexson only half-paying attention to the story she was telling him. He was more concerned with watching his mother, waiting for her to say something embarrassing, to watch the uncomfortable reactions of everyone she interacted with.
"We're going to win today." Charlie eventually said with a confident smirk.
“Hm?”
“I said we’re going to win today, I think that we will win the entire tournement.”
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because your mom is coaching! Nyctcimmerians are competitive, my mom said yours was no exception to that statement."
Alexson groaned. “I don’t care if we win, this is going to be so embarrassing.”
“What?!” Charlie swung her arm out, whacking Alexson in the gut. “If my Mom was coaching that would be embarrassing, your Mom is cool.”
“Cool? Hardly. She’s always saying things weird and acting strange, I don’t know why my Dad didn’t offer to coach instead.”
“If my Mom was coaching we would all just hug each other for the whole game. Race you around the field?” Charlie took off.
Alexson dashed, but his pace quickly tapered off when he looked back to his mother. Everything she did stood out, made her look more alien, made him look more alien. Her posture was stiff, she only ever smiled after someone else did. He wondered if anyone would notice if he sprinted away right now, quit the team, hopped planets... Alexson sighed, there were too many unknowns in a plan like that.
~
Hithfaeril observed the field from her perch by the entrance of the dugout. Her gaze was cold, calculating as she watched the other team go to their bench for the pre-game meeting. Hithfaeril turned to her own team and looked them over. She held a tablet behind her back in her clasped hands. Of course she didn’t need it, she would remember the information that came her way, she simply held it to fit the role.
“What’s the strategy coach Silvak?”
“The strategy?” Hithfaeril was thinking of twenty. “We go out and participate as well as we have all season. We go out and exercise. But in my opinion the most important factor to achieving a memorable weekend is ensuring that we retain a high level of personal satisfaction and amusement.”
The team stared at her blankly, Alexson sunk back as far as he could on the bench.
Hithfaeril blinked. “I suppose what I intended to say is that we do our best, have fun, and work as a team.” Perhaps now was a moment when she was supposed to smile?
"What about winning?" One of the kids asked.
Hithfaeril paused. She thought of her own mother, how she had always forced Hithon and herself into competition, always pitted them against each other for parental favour. Hithfaeril had a distant memory of winning, she remembered the joy she felt when her parents cherished her, she had never felt more love from them than she did those few weeks. Yet what she recalled more vividly from that time was Hithon. The way their parents snubbed him, grounded him, berated him. Hithfaeril triumphed over her brother once in those foolish competitions, she promised herself that she never would again.
The Nyctcimmerian looked at Alexson, her expression unmoving as worry soaked into her heart. "Winning isn't necessary." Hithfaeril remembered to smile. "We play for companionship, exercise, and for the love of the game. Teamwork is a lesson more important. Now let us cheer and get upon the diamond."
~
By the end of the day the team had won two games and lost one. Dinner came and went and so did the evening.
Hithfaeril and Ashan sat before the television watching a game show, it was part of their regular routine, they enjoyed guessing before the contestants and arguing over the mathematical odds. Ashan enjoyed how it reminded him of when he first met Hithfaeril. Hithfaeril enjoyed it because she liked to watch Ashan when he was thinking. Hithfaeril was more accurate, she had the species advantage, yet ever so often she would 'forget’ a few decimal points in her equations, she liked it when he smiled in triumph.
Condensation slowly dripped down the neck of Ashan’s beer bottle, Hithfaeril watched the commercials reflect in it. “I think I will perhaps say goodnight to our son.”
“Mmhmm, yes, love you too dear...” Ashan was half asleep.
Hithfaeril went to Alexson’s room, only to freeze outside his door. He was probably asleep, after all he had a busy day. The last thing she wanted to do was disrupt his rest. She went to the living room but Ashan had fallen asleep there. She did not want to disturb either of her boys so she went to the back porch to watch the stars.
Beneath the moon’s glow her blue patterning lit up like a neon sign flickering into life. In her mind she went over the names of the stars she knew, recalling the time that she used to sail among them.
The door slid open, the wooden deck creaked under the stress of the weighted steps. Alexson sat next to his mother, he didn’t say a word.
The two sat in silence, simply watching the lights of intergalactic traffic mingle in the hazy atmosphere. Eventually Hithfaeril spoke: “Every day is a blessing...” That was far too generic, had she read that somewhere? Hm, perhaps it was on a card... She searched for the right words to say and tried again. “I remember a time when I admired these stars from the other end of the galaxy. I never concluded that I would be among them, nor did I conclude that I would get the opportunity to have an existence such as this.”
Alexson stayed quiet.
“When I discovered that I was gestating, that was... the happiest day of my life.” Hithfaeril tapped her fingers against her thumb. “Logic, calculations, reason... Those had been the elements that guided my existence, but when I saw you for the first time on the monitors I realized that everything I had once lived by would never be the same. Give me numbers, incalculable equations and I understand what I should do. Yet when I look at you, I am perplexed, unable to discern the best course of action.
“There is no logic to raising a life, no step by step processes... I want you to have every opportunity that I did not even know I could dream of, I... I want to do things correct by you, I do all I can- I... I realize I am not identical to the other parents. If you need me to step back just say so.” Hithfaeril pulled her worried gaze to her son, her heart swelled with pride when she saw his gentle patterning in the moonglow. Yet another sparkle caught her eyes, several did. There were tears streaming down his face.
“I’m sorry Mom...” Alexson collided into his mother, hugging her tightly “I’m so sorry...” he repeated.
Hithfaeril returned the embrace, burying her face into her son’s hair, holding him as close as she could. “No, no, do not apologize, you have nothing to warrant an apology.” She kissed his head, swallowing back her own sadness. “I will always forgive you.”
Alexson inhaled a shaky breath, nodding his head. “I know you’re trying your best, I need to be more patient... I love you Mom.”
“My little Starlight... I love you too.” Hithfaeril pulled back from the embrace, wiping his tears away with a caring touch. “You know, you have not come outside to watch the stars with me in years... Your patterning is the most beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on... I missed this.”
“I missed it to.” Alexson offered her a small smile, hugging his mother once more.
[ META ] + flowers – for Hith and / or anyone else that appeals.
A Headcanon for flowers ~
Hith loves gardening and alchemy, she adores flowers! They are vibrant, smell wonderful, full of life, and delicate.
Now Hith is a very confident woman, she isn't one to ride the pity party for her undead state, seeing it more as a blessing in her life. However, there are certain things that make her feel monstrous, reminding her that she is farther removed from humanity than she may initially feel. Flowers are one of those things.
She behaves around flowers like one might a fussy babe finally set to sleep, she avoids touching them and admires them from afar. They deserve to remain beautiful and hopeful-unspoiled by the fiend she is.
If someone were to give her flowers, she would hold her breath and hesitate, unwilling to take them for fear of destroying a gift so beautiful. Of course this is unreasonable, as she could sustain cut flowers indefinitely if she wanted, but there is this illogical chattering voice in the back of her head that tells her she is unworthy of such delicate, peaceful, beauty.
(pov your muse gives her a flower ONCE without much thought and she keeps it alive FOR ETERNITY.)
"Look at you my little one, so tired after a long day. Do you remeber everything that we did?" Hithfaeril watched her infant son expectantly as though she was waiting for a reply. She was laying back on the couch, supporting Alexson as he sat upright. He yawned, waving his small fists in the air. "Yes, we went for your check-up today at the Doctor's. You are healthy and strong, just as I suspected."
Hithfaeril smiled, her heart swelling with pride as she brushed her hands through the soft blonde tufts of hair that stuck up from his head. "You are so beautiful, you look just like your father." Alexson yawned again, so she lay him upon her chest. Indeed, he had Ashan's eye color and his hair color, but his skin was a dark mixture between both his parents, leaning towards Hithfaeril's. "My opinion is unbiased, my little star. You are the most beautiful being in the galaxy."
She gently rubbed his back, humming a soft melody until she drifted into sleep along with her son.
