#hoensty

[sw-riter]

Here I am All of my walls are knocked down. Here I am I am exposed. Here I am Stripped of my insecurities of my fears. Here I am Broken and reckless. Here I am Begging for your love. Here I am At my core at the very center of my universe. Here I am Raw and brutally honest. Here I am Here I am.

s.w.

[sw-riter]

What did it feel like? It felt like the warm rays of the sun kissing my skin. It felt like the oceans soft and smooth touch over the sand. It felt gentle and yet electrifying and new.

your touch (s.w.)

[sweater-weath3r]

ask me anything

[king-enigma93]

Why Can’t I Be Honest

Why can I be so outspoken when it comes to other people’s problems? But when it comes to my problems, I’m scared to talk about them or I avoid them. Is it because I’m scared of judgement or is it because I’m scared of not being taken serious.

[damesviolet]

Honesty.

Honesty is so important. So very important. When you're honest with yourself, it makes a world of difference. You no longer see through rose coloured glasses, no fantasy. You finally removed the screen that hindered you from living. Honesty gives life to any situation. 

Tonight I was honest with myself. Tonight I can finally start a new chapter. Tonight I felt alive. 

I'm turning 20 this week. It's not a huge number, but it's significant to me. I finally feel that I have the courage to change. To evolve and break from the chains of stagnation. 

I don't know what this next decade holds, but may it be a one of learning, discovery and finally, pure honesty.

[closer-internally]

Anons are welcome, but doing honesty/advice

[sound0fthecitylife]

Hey there!

I want you guys to get to know me better! Go ahead and ask me anything! I really need something to do, so please ask whatever you feel like asking me! :)

[intervaglactic]

Honestly, I've been a fraud.

I was honest to my sponsor about my job at the bar. It was made clear that as long as I'm going in there with the intention of making money and nothing else, that I should be okay. We both agreed that it is dangerous territory for someone so early in recovery, but I told her there is nothing that is going to take my sobriety away from me. Right now, it is the one thing I am most proud of and the only thing that gives me hope for a brighter future.

My life was something like this: work, work, work, party, recover at work, work, party, party, recover. I didn't make time do ANYTHING besides work and getting high. BUT! As long as someone else thought I was doing something amazing, I felt legit. I was living a life where I defined myself through other people's opinions of me. Instead of doing things that made me feel good, I did things that looked good to other people.

There was always a sadness when I'd tell a lie or put on a facade for someone. I really did want to be that person: the artist, crafter, bookworm, activist, spin-class enthusiast, you name it. HA! The only thing I painted was my face and the only literature you'd find under my nose would be the likes of Cat Fancy or Women's Health. Doing things that were good for me physically, spiritually, and intellectually all took backseat to my number one: the party.

When I stripped away the booze and drugs, I wasn't left with much of an identity. I know there are things I'd like to do and hobbies I've done in the past that made me feel good. Now that I've FINALLY realized that there is life outside of techno bars, I can actually stop talking and take action. I can do things! Whatever those things are, I can do them...and do them for me! For me!!! Because they make ME feel good! What a concept!

Ah! Sobriety is the first thing I've done in my life outside of school or working that is 100% for me and not another person. Working the steps and pursuing a spiritual way of living is not for show. It's mine. I don't want anything or anyone to come between it. I still don't know who I am but at least I have direction, a path to follow. For this, I am ever so grateful.