Now that the common room series is finished, I've posted them all to my Ko-fi with high res downloads available! I'll link to each of the posts here. I would love to see more people try the "6 MCs challenge" and other art in these backgrounds!
Neutral hangout in the DADA Tower
Ravenclaw Common Room
Slytherin Common Room
Gryffindor Common Room
Hufflepuff Common Room
My backgrounds are available for others to use for non commercial art as long as I am credited and tagged. I do not consent to them being used with or for AI in any way.
I think my background art skills have improved a lot since the start of this series so really, if you think about it, Hufflepuffs are lucky that they lost the "which should I draw first" poll.
In the process of drawing this series, I came up with a whole lore around the house tea sets. There are brief descriptions about it on Ko-fi but there's a character limit so if you're interested, I'm going to do a separate post about the teacup lore, linked here
These are free to use but if you love my work and have the means, my Commissions and Etsy shop are open!
“Well,” said Dumbledore, his face thoughtful. “That is quite the damning evidence on Mr Pettigrew’s part. “I would like to see the memory of your confrontation with Mr Pettigrew after Voldemort’s.”
Sirius shook in Remus’s arms as he relived the memory that slowly leaked from the corner of his eye. Dumbledore snatched it away with the tip of his wand and plunged it into the pensieve. Remus wanted to see what happened too, but Sirius was shaking so badly he didn’t want to leave him.
“I’ll be fine, Remus. I want you to see it.” Sirius slowly slipped out of Remus’s arms and sat in one of the chairs before the headmaster’s desk.
“If you need me, pull me out,” Remus said, squeezing his shoulder and moving to the pensive to join Dumbledore and McGonagall. He tilted his head forward and fell into the memory.
The memory materialised on a crowded street somewhere in London. Sirius stood looking out at the sea of faces, looking for something, or someone.
Remus knew when he’d spotted Peter, Sirius stilled, like a dog that’s found its prey.
“Peter!!!” he called out in a soft, deadly voice, and Peter froze.
The man who had been their friend turned to face Sirius, fear oozing from his body. Remus was certain if he’d been there, he’d have been able to smell it.
“Si-Sirius! Wh-what are you doing here?” Peter stammered, his eyes flicking to anywhere but Sirius as he tried to find a way out.
“To kill you, Peter!” Sirius growled. “To rid this world of a snivelling, traitorous, pathetic excuse for a wizard. You killed Lily and James! You killed your best friend! How dare you!”
“HOW COULD YOU BETRAY LILY AND JAMES, SIRIUS?!” Peter shouted loudly. Sirius’s brow creased at Peter’s words. “THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS!!!”
That’s when the spell hit him. Peter had overcooked it a bit, and Sirius blinked as he tried to fight off the cheering charm. He swayed on the spot, lifting his arm in uncertainty when the road suddenly blew apart. Remus watched as Peter severed his own finger, leaving it in the rubble before transforming into a rat and squeezing his fat body through the nearest grate, into the sewer below, as Sirius flung his head back, unable to fight the effects of the spell any longer, and laughed.
Aurors apparated into the screaming, smoking mess and grabbed Sirius, heavy manacles appearing on his wrists as they began to drag him away, still laughing uncontrollably, his eyes screaming out the truth, but no one was paying attention. An Auror raised his wand at Sirius, and the memory went black.
What’s up with the Hogwarts dormitories? Do students stay in the same room all 7 years or do they switch rooms every year? And does each room have its own bathroom or are there just community boy and girl bathrooms for each house?
Okay, this is actually an interesting question so I wanted to check what I can find about this in the books.
At the end of the year they clearly pack all their belongings from their dormitories. They don't leave stuff at school over the summer:
And suddenly, their wardrobes were empty, their trunks were packed, Neville’s toad was found lurking in a corner of the toilets; notes were handed out to all students, warning them not to use magic over the holidays
(PS, Ch16)
But in CoS we are straight up given the answer for a change:
They hurried up it, right to the top, and at last reached the door of their old dormitory, which now had a sign on it saying SECOND YEARS. They entered the familiar, circular room, with its five four-posters hung with red velvet and its high, narrow windows.
(CoS, Ch5)
So, yeah, canonically it's the same dorm room they return to every year and the sign outside just changes. But they are expected to take all their belongings at the end of the year and not leave personal belongings in the dormitory.
As for bathrooms/showers, I talked about this a little here. And there isn't as straightforward of an answer, but I tried.
It appears they have showers in the Quidditch changing rooms:
“Where is Wood?” said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn’t there.
“Still in the showers,” said Fred. “We think he’s trying to drown himself.”
(PoA, Ch9)
And baths somewhere in the common rooms:
“Yes, it was,” said Ginny. “It was appalling. Angelina was nearly in tears by the end of it.” Ron and Ginny went off for baths after dinner; Harry and Hermione returned to the busy Gryffindor common room and their usual pile of homework.
(OotP, Ch26)
We also see all students seem to have bathrobes/dressing gowns (depending on edition and book, I assume. In the American PS version I have uses "tartan bathrobe" to refer to McGonagall's tartan dressing gown):
They pulled on their bathrobes, picked up their wands, and crept across the tower room, down the spiral staircase, and into the Gryffindor common room.
(PS, Ch9)
“I believe you, Potter,” said Professor McGonagall curtly. “Put on your dressing-gown — we’re going to see the headmaster.”
(OotP, Ch21)
The fact all students are expected and known to have dressing gowns/bathrobes can imply the bathrooms are located in the common rooms and not in each dorm. My assumption would be where the dormitories are, so they won't need to go back to the common room itself.
But I decided to check how Harry gets ready for bed/in the morning and if it's ever mentioned he leaves his dorm to brush his teeth or otherwise hint at the existence of a bathroom inside or outside the dorm. Unfortunately, Harry doesn't seem to shower/bath or brush his teeth before bed. Just goes straight to his dorm, pulls on pajamas and goes into bed:
Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they pulled on their pajamas and fell into bed.
(PS, Ch7)
It was so late that the Gryffindor common room was almost empty. Harry went straight up to the dormitory. Ron wasn’t back yet. Harry pulled on his pajamas, got into bed, and waited.
(CoS, Ch7)
He threw his wand down onto his bedside table, pulled off his robes, stuffed them angrily into his trunk, and pulled on his pajamas.
(OotP, Ch11)
They pulled off their robes and put on pajamas in silence; Dean, Seamus, and Neville were already asleep. Harry put his glasses on his bedside table and got into bed but did not pull the hangings closed around his four-poster;
(OotP, Ch21)
And i couldn't track down any morning routine either (since we only really see Harry wake up and get up when something is happening, so...)
So we can't really count on Harry (or Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Ron all act the same way). I considered Harry and the others may just be showering/bathing and brushing their teeth earlier, but:
Half an hour later, Ron arrived, nursing his right arm and bringing a strong smell of polish into the darkened room.
“My muscles have all seized up,” he groaned, sinking on his bed.
(CoS, Ch7)
Ron clearly didn't shower/bath in any way that would dampen the smell of the polish he used in detention before heading to the dorms.
At this point, I considered the ramifications of the smell in the Gryffindor boys dorm. Technically though, the fact they don't use the baths much doesn't mean they aren't there. It just means their dorm probably stinks.
“Right,” said Harry, and feeling happier than he had in ages, he
and the rest of the team led the way, still in their scarlet robes, out
of the stadium and back up to the castle.
[...]
It felt as though they had already won the Quidditch Cup; the
party went on all day and well into the night.
[...]
The Gryffindor party ended only when Professor McGonagall turned up in her tartan dressing gown and hair net at one in the morning, to insist that they all go to bed. Harry and Ron climbed the stairs to their dormitory, still discussing the match. At last, exhausted, Harry climbed into bed, twitched the hangings of his four-poster shut to block out a ray of moonlight, lay back, and felt himself almost instantly drifting off to sleep. . . .
(PoA, Ch13)
Now, why does this chapter help us? well, if we're willing to reach a little, this paragraph can imply each dorm room has a bathroom of it's own. Because, the Quidditch team heads back to school in their Quidditch robes — they aren't taking a shower in the changing rooms. And we know they do usually shower after Quidditch. Hence, there is a bathroom in the dorm that Harry can take a bath in before "at last" falling into bed. Potentially. Hopefully.
Then, in CoS, Ron could've gone to that same bathroom after his detention after he talked to Harry. And I found another quote that implies this further:
Hermione cast the merrily dancing flames a dark look, and Harry distinctly heard her mutter “Slave labor,” before bidding them good night and disappearing through the doorway to the girls’ dormitory
(GoF, Ch12)
They are sitting in the common room in front of the fireplace, and Harry can see Hermione disappearing through the door to her dormitory, which is upstairs. Which means, there is a balcony of sorts, looking down on the common room from where the girls' dorms are. Which, then, implies, private bathrooms in each dorm is more likely than a joint one you'd have to walk past a balcony all the common room could see to get to. It would also help explain why Harry and the others always go straight to their dorms and not stop at any bathroom first.
It also helps with the whole "student out of bed" thing. They aren't allowed to leave their dormitories during the night, so it makes more sense they would have a bathroom in the dormitory.
As you can see, I couldn't track down any easy answer for the bathrooms like with the dormitories unfortunately, but I now believe each dorm room does have an abjoint bathroom. At least, I think it's more likely.
But bored in the particular Hogwarts way where the corridors felt too long, the torches burned too slow, and everyone had somehow already exhausted every bad idea available before dinner.
James Potter was walking backwards down the corridor with his hands in his pockets.
“I’m telling you,” he declared dramatically, “we should start a fight.”
“You start fights every other Tuesday,” Lily Evans said flatly.
“And every other Friday,” Mary added.
“And once on a Sunday,” Marlene snorted.
“That was self-defence.”
“You threw the first punch,” Remus said.
James pointed at him accusingly. “You weren’t there.”
“I was literally holding your coat.”
Peter wheezed laughing beside him while Fabian and Gideon Prewett argued over whether exploding snap counted as gambling if nobody technically owned money anymore because Fabian had lost all his three days ago.
Frank Longbottom looked exhausted already.
Alice Fortescue was hanging off his arm grinning. “I still think we should sneak into the kitchens.”
“We got banned from the kitchens,” Frank reminded her.
“That sounds fake.”
“It was literally your fault,” Sirius said.
“It was worth it.”
“It was not worth it,” Lily sighed. “The elves still glare at us.”
Sirius barked out a laugh anyway, shoving his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket as they wandered aimlessly around another corner.
“Moony,” James said suddenly. “Turn into a wolf.”
“No.”
“Tiny wolf.”
“No.”
“Emotionally?”
“No.”
Then—
Music.
Everyone stopped.
It drifted through the corridor soft at first. Violin strings. Elegant. Slow.
Then faster.
Not student fast.
Not decent.
Professional.
The sound curled through the stone corridors like smoke.
Every note sharp and teasing and alive.
The entire group went silent.
“…What the fuck?” Marlene whispered.
Sirius frowned immediately.
The classroom door ahead was slightly open.
The music spilled through the gap.
Another sweep of the violin rang out and this time there was singing too.
A voice.
Low.
Smooth.
Dangerously good.
James blinked. “No fucking way.”
Sirius already knew.
His expression twisted halfway between disbelief and offence.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me.”
They moved toward the doorway almost instinctively, crowding together quietly near the crack in the door before peering inside.
And then every single thought in the room evaporated.
Regulus Black stood alone near the centre of the abandoned classroom.
A violin tucked beneath his chin.
A pen behind his ear.
Oversized dark hoodie slipping off one shoulder slightly.
Tiny black shorts.
Trainers.
His long thin legs moved effortlessly across the wooden floor as he played, spinning once with the music before catching himself smoothly again.
Small.
Pretty.
Completely absorbed.
Oblivious to the fact eleven people were staring at him like they’d just witnessed divine intervention.
“Oh my fucking God,” Mary whispered.
“Why’s he dressed like that?” Fabian muttered weakly.
“Because he hates us specifically,” Gideon said.
The violin sang through the room.
Fast now.
Regulus smirked to himself as he played, shoulders swaying lightly with the rhythm before he sang softly, voice rich and smooth.
“I ache for the touch of your lips, dear…”
Marlene physically grabbed Lily’s arm.
“Oh he can sing sing.”
“But much more for the touch of your whips, dear…”
James made a strangled choking noise.
Peter looked stunned. “What is happening.”
Regulus grinned to himself at some private joke, bow dancing effortlessly across the strings.
“You can raise welts like nobody else…”
“Oh my GOD,” Alice hissed.
“As we dance to The Masochism Tango…”
The violin burst louder.
Faster.
Regulus spun cleanly across the floor with shocking elegance, one hand still perfectly controlling the instrument as he moved like he’d done this a thousand times before.
Regulus dipped low dramatically, laughing under his breath before singing again.
“Let our love be a flame not an ember…”
His voice climbed higher effortlessly.
“Say it's me that you want to dismember—”
“Jesus Christ,” Frank muttered.
“Blacken my eye…”
Regulus pointed the bow outward theatrically.
“Set fire to my tie…”
Mary covered her mouth.
“As we dance to The Masochism Tango.”
The violin became playful after that.
Sharp little teasing notes.
Regulus moved with it beautifully, feet gliding across the floorboards in proper tango steps despite being completely alone.
Like he could see an invisible partner.
“At your command…”
His voice dropped lower.
“Before you, here I stand…”
Sirius stared.
James looked at Sirius.
Then back at Regulus.
Then back at Sirius.
“Your family is insane.”
“We know this.”
“My heart is in my hand— eugh.”
Regulus actually made the stupid little noise mid-song with a grin, completely committed to the bit.
Peter nearly folded over laughing.
“Oh he’s enjoying this.”
“It’s deeply upsetting,” Sirius muttered.
Regulus shifted suddenly into another turn, violin tucked against his shoulder as he sang stronger now.
“It's here that I must be…”
The notes climbed.
“My heart entreats…”
The bow practically flew.
“Just hear those savage beats…”
Then with perfect dramatic flourish—
“And go put on your cleats and come and trample me.”
James fully slapped a hand over his mouth.
Fabian looked seconds from tears laughing.
Lily was bright red.
Marlene looked like she wanted to climb through the doorway.
“Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany…”
Regulus tilted his head back slightly as he belted the next line beautifully.
“That's why I'm in such exquisite agony—”
“WHAT,” Gideon whispered violently.
“My soul is on fire…”
The violin cried beneath the words.
“It's a flame with desire…”
Regulus spun again.
“Which is why I perspire when we tango.”
There was a beat of stunned silence except for the music.
Then Alice whispered helplessly—
“He’s so fit.”
Frank nodded immediately. “Yeah.”
Sirius looked revolted. “Can everyone stop wanting to shag my brother for five seconds.”
“No,” said James instantly.
“No,” said Fabian.
“No,” said Gideon.
“No,” said Marlene.
Lily slowly rubbed a hand over her face. “This is the worst day of my life.”
Regulus stepped onto one of the old desks effortlessly as the violin melody shifted playful again.
“You caught my nose in your left castanet, love…”
He pointed accusingly at absolutely nobody.
“I can feel the pain yet, love…”
Mary looked genuinely mesmerised.
“Everytime I hear drums…”
The violin mimicked the rhythm underneath.
“And I envy the rose that you held in your teeth, love…”
Regulus grinned sharply.
“With the thorns underneath, love…”
Then dramatically pressed a hand to his chest.
“Sticking into your gums.”
Peter made a noise like he was dying.
“This cannot be real.”
“It unfortunately is,” Sirius groaned.
Regulus hopped down from the desk smoothly, never once missing a note.
“Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches…”
His voice softened lower now.
“The last time I needed twenty stitches…”
James whispered, horrified and fascinated, “Why is this working on me.”
“To sew up the gash…”
The violin shrieked beautifully.
“You made with your lash…”
Regulus leaned dramatically into the final line.
“As we dance to The Masochism Tango.”
Silence for half a second.
Then the violin exploded louder than before.
Fast.
Wild.
The bow moving so quickly it almost blurred.
Regulus laughed breathlessly in the middle of it, hair falling into his eyes as he danced harder now, shoes scraping across the floorboards in sharp elegant movements.
“Bash in my brain…”
His voice rang through the classroom.
“And make me scream with pain…”
“Sweet fucking Merlin,” Fabian whispered.
“Then kick me once again and say we'll never part…”
Marlene actually fanned herself with her hand.
“I know too well…”
Regulus closed his eyes briefly during the next line.
“I'm underneath your spell…”
Then he smirked.
“So darling, if you smell something burning it's my heart.”
The violin dipped softer.
A hiccup escaped him suddenly.
Tiny.
Sharp.
Regulus blinked once before immediately waving it off casually.
“Hic— 'scuse me.”
The entire group outside the door lost their minds silently.
James physically bent double.
Mary was clutching Lily’s shoulder so hard Lily nearly stumbled.
Sirius looked ready to throw himself into the Black Lake.
Regulus just kept playing.
Completely serious.
Completely committed.
“Take your cigarette from its holder…”
His voice became rich and slow again.
“And burn your initials in my shoulder…”
The violin wrapped around the words gorgeously.
“Fracture my spine…”
Regulus spun one final time.
“And swear that you're mine…”
The music swelled.
“As we dance to The Masochism Tango.”
The final note rang through the empty classroom.
Then silence.
Complete silence.
Regulus lowered the violin slowly, breathing slightly hard from moving around so much.
Outside the doorway nobody spoke.
Nobody moved.
Peter looked spiritually altered.
Fabian had both hands over his face.
Gideon stared at the wall like he’d just witnessed God personally descend from heaven.
Frank blinked slowly. “Right.”
“Yeah,” Alice whispered faintly.
Marlene looked at Lily. “I understand people in books now.”
Mary nodded immediately. “Same.”
James finally whispered, “I think I’m in love with him.”
“Get in line,” Fabian muttered.
Sirius looked deeply offended by the entire universe.
“That is my BROTHER.”
Remus was still staring into the room thoughtfully. “He wrote all that himself?”
“That’s somehow the worst part,” Lily said weakly.
Inside the classroom, completely unaware of the collective psychological destruction he’d caused, Regulus casually tucked the violin beneath his arm and adjusted the pen behind his ear with a small satisfied grin to himself.
Nobody spoke for a long moment after the final note faded.
The corridor outside the classroom felt weirdly hot now.
Like the air itself had changed.
Inside, Regulus was still facing away from the door, setting the violin carefully onto one of the desks before grabbing a notebook from beside it.
The pen behind his ear disappeared into his fingers smoothly.
Scratch scratch scratch.
He was writing something down immediately.
Remus blinked slowly. “He wrote that.”
“Had to,” Lily whispered. “I’ve never heard that song in my life.”
“Me neither,” Mary said faintly.
James still looked shellshocked. “You’re telling me he just casually composed… whatever the fuck that was?”
“A masterpiece,” Fabian said instantly.
“A cry for help,” Sirius corrected.
“A masterpiece,” Gideon repeated firmly.
Inside the room Regulus paused, crossing something out before rewriting it quickly.
Completely unaware.
Or at least pretending to be.
Marlene leaned against the doorway, staring. “That is genuinely unfair.”
“What part?” Alice asked weakly.
“All of it.”
Frank nodded. “The violin alone was insane.”
“The singing,” Mary added immediately. “How was he even doing that while moving around like that?”
“He didn’t miss a single note,” Remus said, clearly impressed despite himself. “And the breath control was ridiculous.”
“The projection too,” Lily muttered. “He was practically belting half of it.”
James looked personally devastated.
“He can dance.”
“He can sing.”
“He can play violin.”
“He writes songs.”
“What exactly does he do badly?”
“Emotions,” Sirius said instantly.
The girls all looked annoyed suddenly.
Mary folded her arms. “Actually this is evil.”
Alice groaned. “Why does he have to be gay.”
“Tragic,” Marlene agreed.
Lily pointed at the boys bitterly. “You lot don’t understand how unfair this is.”
Regulus looked at him blankly. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Oh fuck off.”
Mary crossed her arms tightly. “You wrote that?”
Regulus shrugged once. “Obviously.”
“That’s mental,” Frank said before he could stop himself.
Regulus raised an eyebrow slightly. “Thanks.”
“The violin too?” Remus asked quietly.
Another shrug.
“I’ve played since I was five.”
“Of course you have,” James muttered.
Regulus looked between all of them slowly now.
Then at Sirius specifically.
“…Why do you all look traumatised.”
“Because,” Gideon said honestly, “you’re secretly a sexy little menace apparently.”
Sirius made a sound of pure outrage.
Regulus stared at Gideon for two seconds.
Then looked at Fabian.
“…Are you two always like this.”
“Yes,” everyone else answered immediately.
Regulus sighed softly through his nose.
Then adjusted the pen behind his ear again.
“Well. Enjoy your psychological damage, I suppose.”
And somehow—
Somehow—
That was the thing that nearly killed them all completely.
There was still a weird stunned silence hanging over the corridor.
Not awkward.
Just—
Recovering.
Like everyone’s brains were still trying to catch up with what they’d witnessed.
Regulus stood there looking entirely unaffected by the devastation he’d caused, violin case hanging loosely from one hand while the other flipped his notebook shut.
James stared at him for another long second.
Then finally—
“…Right,” he said slowly. “Question.”
Regulus looked at him.
“What the fuck was that actually about?”
Sirius pointed aggressively. “YES.”
“Thank you,” Lily muttered.
“Because surely,” Sirius continued desperately, “surely it’s metaphorical.”
Regulus blinked.
Sirius forged onward anyway.
“Like. Symbolic. Artistic. One of those weird rich people things where it secretly represents capitalism or religion or emotional vulnerability or—”
“It’s about sex,” Regulus said flatly.
The corridor went dead silent.
Sirius froze.
Regulus shrugged lightly.
“I thought that was fairly obvious.”
“No,” Sirius said immediately. “No no no. Absolutely not. We are revisiting this.”
Fabian looked delighted already.
Gideon physically leaned forward with interest.
James was trying not to laugh.
Regulus adjusted the violin case in his grip. “It’s not complicated. I like pain during sex. The song’s about that.”
Complete silence.
Then Fabian and Gideon both erupted at once.
“I KNEW IT.”
“OH MY GOD.”
Fabian pointed at Regulus triumphantly. “I told everyone you were secretly freaky.”
“You don’t write lyrics about wanting someone to trample you unless you mean that shit,” Gideon added.
Sirius looked like his soul was actively leaving his body.
“No.”
“Yes,” Regulus replied calmly.
“No.”
Regulus shrugged again.
“Not really much else to it.”
James was openly crying laughing now.
Peter looked bright red.
Frank had both hands over his face.
Alice was fully wheezing against his shoulder.
Mary looked vindicated beyond belief. “I KNEW the cigarette line meant something.”
“The cleats line was insane,” Marlene said weakly.
Lily looked simultaneously horrified and fascinated. “You just admitted all of that with your full chest.”
Regulus frowned slightly. “Why wouldn’t I.”
“Because people usually have shame,” Sirius snapped.
“That sounds exhausting.”
Fabian pressed a hand dramatically to his heart. “Regulus Black the man that you are.”
Gideon grinned. “And single too?”
Sirius looked ready to start biting people.
“You two are not flirting with my brother in front of me.”
“We absolutely are,” Fabian said.
Regulus looked between the twins with vague amusement.
“You’re both very strange.”
“Takes one to know one, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call him sweetheart!”
Regulus sighed softly.
Then, before anyone could say anything else, he shifted the violin case under one arm and casually hooked his fingers beneath the hem of his oversized hoodie.
Sirius narrowed his eyes immediately.
“Regulus—”
Too late.
Regulus lifted the fabric slightly.
Just enough.
The entire corridor fell silent again.
Because—
Oh.
Oh.
The marks weren’t subtle.
Faded knife cuts crossed pale skin in thin silvery lines.
Burn marks.
Old bruising yellowed faintly against his thighs.
Bite marks.
Cigarette scars.
The unmistakable parallel lines of healed whip marks disappearing beneath the back of his hoodie.
And lower down near his hip—
Carved initials.
James forgot how to breathe.
Peter made a choking noise.
Mary’s eyes widened so much it looked painful.
Marlene looked like she’d just short-circuited entirely.
Frank whispered, “Holy shit.”
Fabian and Gideon both looked simultaneously victorious and deeply interested.
“I KNEW IT,” Gideon whispered violently.
Fabian looked seconds from ascending spiritually.
Sirius looked ready to collapse into the floor.
“Oh my GOD, REGULUS.”
Regulus just let the hoodie fall back into place casually.
Then tugged one side of his shorts down slightly enough to reveal more faded bruising along his upper thigh before fixing them again like this was a completely normal conversation.
“I wasn’t exaggerating in the song,” he said simply.
The silence somehow got worse.
Remus stared at him carefully. “You genuinely enjoy all that?”
Regulus nodded once.
“Obviously.”
“You’re terrifying,” Lily informed him.
“That’s fair.”
James looked deeply overwhelmed. “You just carry this information around casually?”
Regulus looked confused by the question.
“It’s my body.”
“That does not answer literally anything.”
Fabian folded his arms smugly. “This is the greatest day of my life.”
“You are SO my type,” Gideon informed Regulus immediately.
Sirius lunged like he was about to strangle both twins simultaneously.
“GET AWAY FROM HIM.”
Regulus stepped neatly sideways out of the chaos.
“Relax, Sirius.”
“NO.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I’m being a BROTHER.”
“You’re being annoying.”
James was still staring at Regulus in disbelief. “You wrote an entire tango song confessing all of this.”
“Yes.”
“And then performed it publicly.”
“I thought I was alone.”
“You were dancing.”
“Yes.”
“You HICCUPPED.”
Regulus looked mildly offended. “That was unfortunate.”
“It was devastating,” Mary said honestly.
Regulus blinked at her.
Then at the rest of them.
The entire group still looked completely ruined.
Even Remus looked unusually thrown off.
Regulus considered this for a moment before speaking again completely deadpan.
“…You all seem to be taking this harder than the people I actually sleep with.”
