#hogwartscritic

[theburrowtimes]

Happy Classes

Hello Burrowers!

What a term it has been. I'm just about ready to kick back with a Halloween feast. Get those pumpkins carved, costumes tailored and settle back for an overview of this term. Classes are almost over - thank goodness - and I am here for a little next term advice.

First Years and Second Years: A new term is around the corner. Do not listen to Gainsborough. Do not worry if it takes you a few times to master a new spell. The friends you have made so far are wonderful - but so are the friends you have yet to discover. Pretty soon the time will come to choose electives. Do you love animals? Do you want to tell the future? Do you want to live like a muggle? I promise that there will be something you love for third year.

Third and Fourth Years: I know that the classes have promising aspects. Just try not to burn yourself out so soon and make sure to pace your learning. These years are all about choices. You struggle to wonder if you make the right electives, whilst you wonder what OWLs to take also. No one is going to yell at you for finding time to have fun also.

Fifth Year: OWLs. It’s one of the biggest years, and some of the most stressful exams. Make sure to find time to destress. Go dueling. Go flying. Go to Hogsmeade. Whatever you decide these examination are the key to whichever future you decide to unlock.

Sixth Years and Seventh Years: NEWTs. It's two years of work that will get you to the career goal of your dreams. The classes which you have decided on are important, and so is surrounding yourself with good energy.

Now. The hard part. What was Kermit’s favourite class this term? I have to say it was one of the new electives which were issued to us third years. Divination - a study of the future, the unknown and insight. I would certainly recommend to any future elective choosers, which charms being a very close subject this term. 

I’m sure everyone will have their own favourites. Bring on the debate!

Kermit Princeley |  Hogwarts Critique

[theburrowtimes]

Professor Gainsborough - Friend or Foe?

It is a dangerous time to be a student. The attack at Diagon Alley lives fresh within everyone minds. This reporter cannot understand why the Death Eaters would target school children – but there are others who believe it is because we are seen as weak, defenceless and unable to use magic outside of school.

The question I ask is this: If we were able to use magic outside of school would be have truly known how to protect ourselves?

As a first year I was extremely excited for my very first Defence against the Dark Arts lesson. I expected to learn about dark creatures, curses and how to hex my best friend when they got annoying (sorry Seamus). Then entered Professor Maximilian Gainsborough. All flounce, glitter and nonsense I longed for the end of the year and barely knew the difference between a Pixie and a Doxy. I vowed to give the lesson a second chance this term. 

I was wrong to do so.

In my very first lesson he spoke about ‘Grindlycaws’ and allowed everyone to enter the lake. As it later transpired, a Grindylow was a terrible creature who did not like second year students. Class a week later ended no better. In an effort to teach the “expelliarmless” curse (the disarming charm, which any newbie first year can perform within the duel chamber) the glittering professor destroyed my robes and barely batted an eyelid at the upset it caused.

[The following disarming riot was a hoot]

This term he has been allowed to teach second years that vampires sparkle and classes are for ice fun times. The third years have been able to relax, play with costume and lead to believe that boggarts are ‘fun’ – [as a second year I still haven’t learn about boggarts, but after asking a friend, they do not sound fun].

Many whom I ask do not believe that he is qualified to teach. There was only one respondant who had anything nice to say:

"Um, well....I mean I don't think it's taught properly? At least that's what my year and everyone says but...Professor Gainsborough is so...BEAUTIFUL...I can't help but love him."

I have a different theory.

Does Professor Gainsborough know exactly what he is doing? Has he been sent to fluff up everyone’s education so that when we are attacked he cannot fight back? Could it be that he is only acting like everyone’s best friend, glittered up to the nines, when secretly he is plotting our downfall? Is he truly our friend or is he a foe?

Kermit Princeley Hogwarts Critic II VH32