#hogwartsverse

[wordswithkittywitch]

Golden Trio, All Trans

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Accepting Pride Month Moodboard requests all June.

[punnet-of-muses-archived-blog]

Hogwarts AU (closed RP with the-gays-all-here)

@the-gays-all-here "Now, if you'd all like to follow me into the Great Hall, we can get the sorting underway." A tall and slightly stern looking witch waved her hand and the grand doors of the hall swung open slowly to reveal a large banqueting hall; down its length were four tables filled with students, all of which bore different colours for each table - red and gold, blue and bronze, yellow and black, and green and silver - and at the far end of the hall was the horizontal table for the teachers. "Wow, this is amazing! Icuras, look at the ceiling! The candles are floating and there's stars in the ceiling: stars!" Exclaimed a rather excited boy with partially spiked up hair, who carried a slight Italian accent, as he shook the shoulder of the other beside him. "It's so pretty; I hope we learned how to do that." replied the other in a similar accent, although his hair was softly curled rather than spiked. The witch stopped just in front of the teacher's table and picked up a scroll from a stool, on which sat a rather dirty and old looking hat with plenty of wrinkles. "Now, the Sorting Hat will sort you into your houses; Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin, or Ravenclaw." the witch announced as she unfurled the scroll, "Aetura Drujek." The crowd of first years fell quiet as a rather shy looking boy shuffled out of the group, trying to avoid eye contact. From his appearance, with his triangular nose, tanned skin, and slicked black hair, he carried the air of Arabic descent about him. As he tentatively sat on the stool and the hat was placed on his head, Aetura seemed to hold his breath a little until the hat sparked to life and loudly announced, "HUFFLEPUFF!" Aetura breathed again as he stood up and made his way to the table of applauding students dressed in yellow and black. This process went on for a little time for half of the group, with four others joining Aetura in Hufflepuff; a bright and bouncy Latina girl named Alex, the enthralled Italian with the spiky hair named Lateem, a tall and fairly strong looking boy called Demetri, and a graceful looking girl with wavy brown hair by the name of Nerina. Into Gryffindor went a limping boy with blond, sideswept hair named Leon - he had been sticking close to Alex - a dark blond Russian boy named Callceon, who seemed to give off a slightly disturbing air; another bouncy girl, this time with a long plait of copper hair, who almost hit the witch with her braid as she span to sat down on the stool - she went by the name of Aria - and a very unsure looking boy of Indian descent - Ciar - who didn't seem to believe that he had been put into a house for those of bravery and daring. Heading into Slytherin was a confident and rather attractive boy by the name of Rijeph, who stopped at the Hufflepuff table to put an arm around Aetura's shoulders in a brief hug and assure him that it was okay, a middle-eastern girl with long, wavy dark hair called Sheoki, a small Asian girl with her hair tied into two buns either side of her head, who went by Shrosa, and a rather annoyed looking boy with dyed red hair named Aiden. Finally, Ravenclaw took on the new students in the forms of a spacey-looking brunette named Cadovana, the other Italian boy Icuras, a serious looking girl with her hair tied back into a high ponytail and bangs that framed her face - Kikiyu - a shorter girl with a black braid and glasses named Catzii, and a white-blond girl who radiated purity as she slowly and carefully made her way up the steps to the stool and slowly and carefully made her way to the Ravenclaw table, called Lucile. With 21 of the group gone, the witch turned to the remaining few and began to read the rest of the names.

[marcoarmada]

Closed | Above My Pay Grade

@lovedxandxlost

“Woah, wait!” Marco hurried after the squat Ministry Witch. How could someone so short move so quickly? “What do you mean assassination attempt?” The Witch turned quickly on her heels to glare at Marco, forcing him to stop dead in his tracks or risk plowing right into her. ‘What part of it will be explained once we get to my office do you not understand?’ She took a step towards him and Marco quickly stepped back. ‘It would behoove you to keep your mouth shut.’ His eyebrows shot up at the venom in her voice. “Ok, this right here? This is the same clandestine bullshit that caused me to leave MACUSA, and oh wait, I’m not even a Ministry worker. So we have two options here… Either you tell me what the hell it is you want from me, right here, or I’m gone. I haven’t done anything wrong, so you can’t force me to stay here or leave the country.”  Unless she could expel him from the country… That would suck. “What do you want?” He snapped at the man that had suddenly appeared behind the woman.

[wordswithkittywitch]

Nymphadora Tonks, Nonbinary

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Now accepting moodboard requests. Today’s suggested theme is questioning.

[wordswithkittywitch]

The relationships between Hogwarts houses as described by John Mulaney quotes.

Where but tumblr could you find bullshit like this post? Here we go.

Ravenclaws’ opinion of Gryffindors: No one knows what the horse is going to do next, least of all the horse.

Ravenclaws’ opinion of Hufflepuffs: So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.

Ravenclaws’ opinion of Slytherins: Crazy people have neverending crazy currency.

Hufflepuffs’ opinion of Gryffindors: A hundred drunk white children chanting “fuck DA police.”

Hufflepuffs’ opinion of Slytherins: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

Hufflepuffs’ opinion of Ravenclaws: Was there ever a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?

Gryffindors’ opinion of Ravenclaws: First of all, get out of here with your facts.

Gryffindors’ opinion of Hufflepuffs: That tall child looks terrible!

Gryffindors’ opinion of Slytherins: We hate you! In fact, we’re gonna frame you for murder, and you're gonna go to jail for thirty years!

Slytherins’ opinion of Ravenclaws: I think I was supposed to be gay. I think, like, in Heaven they built, like, three-quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch

Slytherins’ opinion of Hufflepuffs: He ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving.

Slytherins’ opinion of Gryffindors: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

[wordswithkittywitch]

A few injokes at Hogwarts that evolved into school-wide memes:

Drily asking, “Do you need a match?” when someone casts any spell that does not work. Most people agree that it started with a Gryfindor fourth or fifth year giving their friend a hard time for spending three minutes failing to cast Incendio; but there are at least three people who have claimed to be this person.

While arguably, “Date a Slytherin, but marry a Hufflepuff.” was already a house-wide joke with Ravenclaws, it didn’t catch on with the rest of the school as much as their suprise no one else said this. This led to  “Isn’t that an old Ravenclaw adage?” or “Ah, that old Ravenclaw adage...” when someone realises they or a friend have said something that sounds like it should have some profound meaning, but does not. Especially if the statement is actually meaningless or confusing.

This is not believed to be related to, “Or, as the Ravenclaws say...” which takes roughly the same place as “Me, an intellectual” in meme culture.

[wordswithkittywitch]

Nyssa and Adric are the Ravenclaw prefects for their year. They have an inside joke, whenever one of them charms their way out of something, the other looks at them and asks incredulously, “How are you not in Slytherin?”

[wordswithkittywitch]

The day after The Deadly Hollows came out, I posted a topic to a fan forum with the title, “I can’t believe that Voldemort is Harry’s father!” but the actual post made it clear this was a joke. Most of the moderators told me that they would have banned me if this were an actual spoiler, and one of them was for banning me anyway because it was an obnoxious joke.

This did not stop someone from reacting as if this were an actual spoiler.

I think my godfather was worse, though. He went out to lunch with his wife, saw there was a girl in her early teens at the table next to him, and started asking my godmother what she thought of the scene where “Harry had to hide Hermione’s body before Ron came back”.