Dear well-meaning cis person who just misgendered me and wants to justify themself,
Stop. You are feeling guilty because you disrespected me. Unfortunately I am unable to free you from your guilt. The only way for you to feel better is by becoming better, starting with not asking me to handle your guilt right after disrespecting me. When you misgender me, you should correct yourself, apologize and move forward. I don't want to tell you it's alright. I know you don't mean to. I know it's hard. This might be hard to hear, but I don't care about how you "experience my pronouns". I've had this exact conversation dozens of times. In fact, it does more harm to our relationship when you require me to listen to you justify why you disrespected my personhood in the first place. Please stop.
Love, enby me
