#hormones tw

[personinlovewiththeimpossible]

Me: :(

Me: *thinks about the day that I can finally come out to my family, start binding, start dressing in a more euphoric way, change my name, and possibly start microdosing t*

Me: :)

[skylineprophet]

I started T six years ago today! 

And I had my top surgery 5 years ago today! 

[skylineprophet]

Anyone else do subcutaneous Testosterone injections?

I’ve got some questions, but everyone I know does intramuscular. 

[personinlovewiththeimpossible]

syringe, splatter, corpse

Syringe: someone you trust with everything - I’m gonna say Zero and Erie

Splatter: your favorite artists or art pieces - I’m in love with like everything drawn by Frida Kahlo, Salvador Dali, or Vincent Van Gogh but favorite pieces by each (at the moment) are The Two Fridas, Lobster Telephone, and Skull of a Skeleton with Burning Cigarette

Corpse: something you would love to do but can’t - micro-dosing testosterone

[jennifersbod]

i’m just so overwhelmed with every emotion because of how this surgery effected my hormones and it’s awful because i went from being hype and passionate and happy about film to crying in my bathroom about nothing at 5 am

[bi-gray]

Had a nice chat about our identities at the end of my trans group meeting tonight; it's the first time I've really talked about how squishy and indeterminate my gender is there. And how I want to go on T so I can feel comfy presenting more feminine. Everyone was really great and validating! And there was someone there who shared a lot of my experiences, so that was cool.

[bi-gray]

First meeting with my new therapist went well today; she seems ace positive and is cool with writing HRT letters, so that's a big head start. We haven't really gotten into nonbinary stuff, so I don't know if she's assuming I'm a trans dude, but I'm getting pretty decent vibes as far as openness goes, so hopefully things will be good?

[bi-gray]

I'm home from camp now! I had a really positive experience talking with lots of other trans people and reflecting on my own life. Really did some deep thinking about gender, relationships, racism, and where I am in my life. I came away with a few conclusions that I hope will help me moving forward: 

I need to be more patient with myself and acknowledge how much stress I've been under. I've gone through so many drastic changes in the last little while, and it's really pretty understandable that I would be stressed out and need to do a lot of self-care.

I want to try to embrace fluidity and uncertainty when it comes to my gender. I don't have to always be the same, or always know exactly how I feel. Change is okay.

After further examining my feelings about transition, I'm pretty sure that I do want to go on testosterone eventually--I'm just not ready yet. I need to spend some more time processing my worries about how other people will perceive me. Once again, patience is going to be majorly important.