#hornshark

[tyranasauruslex]

Shout out to my two grumpy kings.

Do not make them have to deal with Baby Nurses/Doctors

[kirkenovak]

Ok.

Jesse who thinks Park is hilarious. Jesse who tells everyone that Park is the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Jesse who chuckles and laughs at Park’s comments that make everyone else go pale in terror. Jesse who says that it was Park’s sense of humour that won him over.

And Park who is like „this one guy gets it 👌 👍„

[darth-eden]

Brendon who forgot he downloaded Grindr years ago when he got drunk with the surgeons during his rare bar visit

Versus

Jesse who, out of boredom, downloaded Grindr and found a very muscular hot faceless "Sharky" living in the same city

More stuff in reblog

[tyranasauruslex]

Obsessed with Donnie realising he was about to witness a double homicide as soon as Park walked in.

And then running to the Nurse group chat to tell Jesse his husband was being a menace to the baby doctors. Again.

[tyranasauruslex]

Shoutout to the three Jesse x Park shippers who sent me "how Park found out about Jesse/ICE" asks - I've smushed them all together to make one giant post of angst:

Firstly, the leg replantation would take 10+ hours so Park meaning that Dana/Robby/Nurse Gang would be long gone by the time he's finished. Nobody is going to interrupt such an complex surgery to tell him that Jesse has been arrested and hauled away by ICE. AND due to the hospital gossip train, everyone would already know what’s happened.

So that leaves Abbot who has to combine forces with the Ortho charge nurse to make sure nobody tells Park before he has a chance to. Night Shift are on edge all night, waiting for the phone call from the Ortho ward to let them know that Park has finished up in surgery. Lena gets the call around 3am so Abbot heads up along with Jesse's stuff that got left behind.

And poor Park is already exhausted from the IT shutdown mess and then having to do a really complex surgery - he just wants to take a shower and get to bed. He’d told Jesse not to bother waiting for him because the surgery would take hours and now he’s thinking he should probably sleep in the spare room because Jesse is back on shift in a few hours and he doesn’t want to wake him up. They won’t see each other properly until Sunday which sucks BUT they both have four days off. They're going camping at Allegheny National Forest so at least there’s that. Although he’s half expecting to find out that Jesse has taken the abandoned baby home which Park will pretend to be grumpy about but secretly doesn't mind.

But then he finds Bernie, the Ortho charge nurse, and Abbot waiting for him in his office. Maybe Jesse did take the baby home and now they’ve found the mom or something… But then Bernie starts using her “this patient is about to panic and I need to calm them down” voice and Park begins to clock something is wrong because if he was needed back downstairs, they would have just called up for him. An attending would never come all the way up here...

Abbot is relaying all the information they have but Park is still stuck on the fact that Jesse - his kind, sweet and gentle Jesse - has been a) arrested and b) hauled off to gods knows where and EVERYONE has known for hours except him. And then full blown panic because It's the holiday weekend, all the hospital admin have gone home and nobody seems to know what to do or who to call. And finally completely crashing out because Jesse’s surname is dutch - what if they try and deport him? Or send him to prison? Or Park can’t find him? 

And as much as he’d like to, Abbot can’t hang around cus the ER is already backed up with patients. But he stays long enough to convince Park not to make the three hour drive to the detention centre, that he’s better off going home and trying to get some sleep. The last thing Jesse needs is him crashing his car into a ditch because he's too tired to drive. Bernie arranges a Lyft and Park ends up back at an empty house desperately trying to figure out what to do. His phone starts blowing up with texts from one of Robby's med students - she filmed Jesse being arrested and now her followers have figured out where he is, which is also how Park found out #FreeNurseJesse was trending all over social media. Now his rage mode is activated and he's about to make Jesse being arrested everybody else's problem until he gets him home.

[kirkenovak]

Jesse drops random lore about his husband that portrays him as the sweetest and most loving guy ever.

Benny surprised him with concert tickets. Benny took three day off to care for him when Jesse had a flu. If not for Benny, Jesse wouldn’t be able to cope after PittFest. Benny bought him flowers just because. Benny made him lunch and put a lil love note in it. Jesse giggling at his phone because Benny sent him a video of a lil schnauzer “reminds me of you 🥰 ❤️ 😘”

And then Dennis catches Jesse making out with Park the Shark after work and is devastated. Not only Jesse is a cheat, he cheats on his sweet loving faithful husband with frigging Park The Asshole Extraordinary Arogant Dickwad Macho Prick Shark.

After that Dennis gives Jesse a cold shoulder, starts making snide remarks and dropping hints that hey, he’d seen what Jesse is up to after work “if you know what I mean” (Jesse doesn’t).

(Does he see himself a bit in Jesse’s forlorn husband? Something something Dennis’ relationships with his own masculinity and the way he’s viewed by other men or he believes other men see him etc etc in my essay I will and so forth).

And then Park comes to ED for whatever reason and he starts chatting Jesse up and they are so blatant and shameless that Dennis sees red. And the worst part? Everyone’s, like, chill with it. Princess bites her lip and says “I want what they have” and Perlah just rolls her eyes and Donnie (new father and husband!!!!) makes a comment that he hopes him and his wife are equally lovesick after 15 years.

Dennis has enough and makes a whole speech how they all should be ashamed of themselves. Condoning such behaviour! Will nobody thinking of poor neglected cheated on Benny??

And everyone’s like “dude, are you on drugs? Did you hit your head? Should we call Caleb? Park is Benny?”

(And that’s how Dennis found out).

[tyranasauruslex]

Why were Jesse and Park so grumpy? Well, I’m glad nobody asked but it is because July 4th is their anniversary. 10 years of being the Pitts most low key (and long-lasting) relationship. Shifts have been booked off, gig tickets purchased and they’re set for a day of beer, pinball, food and sex (not necessarily in that order) but then Jesse gets the call - the Pitt is understaffed and could he please, please come in? Before he’s even said yes, Jesse’s leave has been revoked and he’s back on Day Shift. Because there’s zero point in having an anniversary when the other half of said anniversary isn’t there, Brendon decides he may as well go in as well. Unlike Jesse, Brendon decides to make his bad mood everyone else’s problem and stalks the Ortho ward in a grump all day, a mood which is not improved by the IT shutdown. They can’t even book anywhere to go for dinner after work because everything was booked out months ago and even takeout will take forever to deliver. 

Jesse was equally as moody, until the abandoned baby came in. As an ex peeds nurse, he can’t resist a baby and he spends most of his shift attending to Baby Jane Doe. Being a nurse he knows how broken the foster system is and Brandon grew up in foster care, he’s heard the horror stories first hand. Maybe they could take her home for a little bit…

Meanwhile Brendons mood has somewhat improved when he gets called down to see a poor gal whose had her leg sliced clean off at a waterpark. Severed limbs are his speciality. The surgery will take hours though so he stops in on Jesse to let him know that their anniversary night is a bust. Jesse  is holding a very contented looking baby and this is where if Park had ovaries they would have exploded. Yes, of course they can take the baby home for a few days, no, he didn’t give away all the formula from the last baby they looked after and yes, he would like Jesse to order him some food for when he gets home. 

It might not have been the anniversary they originally planned but at least Park gets to replant an limb and Jesse got to cuddle with a baby… DUN DUNDUUUNNNN…

[kirkenovak]

Assorted HornShark headcanons!

Park likes to send Jesse his gym selfies because he knows Jesse loves them and he’s very a bit vain like that

Jesse refuses to be the it guy when it comes to ortho. Everyone knows not to ask him to get Park or any of the other ortho guys down quicker. He’s very clear that he’s not going to exploit his relationship like that. (Also, he knows if would inevitably lead to conflict between him and Brendon, so no) Every time a new doctor joins the team they get the bright idea of asking Jesse to maybe possibly if he could get Dr Park to come down quicker and Jesse tells them to maybe possibly if they could mind their own business

Pet names: Park calls Jesse “baby” and “Jess” and jokingly “James” and any variation of the name (Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo etc), Jesse calls Brendon “Benny” “Bran” and “babe”, and since that bloody song came out, Baby Shark/Daddy Shark/Grandpa Shark, depending on the context. For special occasions (and sexy times) „sweetheart” (from Brendon) and „honey” (from Jesse).

Park meal-preps so he’s a really good cook and often makes lunches for Jesse to take to work. Princess loves to steal them.

They met when Park was still a med student. Park decided to score with the hot nurse and because Jesse kept telling him to piss off, he started seeing it as a challenge. The idea was to sleep with Jesse and get the bragging rights, flash forward 15 years and they’re still together

Both love to do DYI. They painted and refurbished their entire house. They are surprisingly good at it and it’s something they enjoy doing as a couple.

They married 2 days after the state of Pennsylvania made it legal (you guys don’t remember but it was a big deal. Massive deal. Huge.) in a quick courthouse ceremony and had a proper fancy big wedding after the Supreme Court made its decision.

Once a week obligatory date night! Dinner and a movie, a concert, farmer’s market, a hike, night at a fancy hotel, waterpark (um… maybe not anymore), dancing… doesn’t matter as long as it’s just the two of them.

Children were discussed but ultimately, neither wanted to be the stay at home dad, and the idea of both working and relying on babysitter and reworking their (hectic) schedules to fit the babies being at home didn’t appeal to them.

They have their own friend groups that do not intersect: Park has his gym bros, Jesse has his band guys.

Park felt first and harder.

Jesse is a human octopus, loves to wrap himself around Brendon, so he’s either the big spoon of cuddles on his chest 🐙 ♥️ 🦈

Park and Abbot absolutely hang out. When abbot’s wife was still alive she even invited him and Jesse for a dinner a couple of times. Now him and Park are gym bros and occasionally hang out. They do not talk about work (they do but they try not to… but they do)

Jesse is a massive believer in art that should disturb, provoke and move you. He reads all the books, watches all the films. Park believes in art that’s suppose to relax and entertain you. Big MCU fan. Trying to find something they can both watch at the cinema is an uphill battle.