Oct 8, 2025
Carte Postale, Hotchkiss. - source frenchcurious.
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Carte Postale, Hotchkiss. - source frenchcurious.
Dreams That Are Mine Anyway - Part 2
Emily had never felt exhaustion like it.
Part 1 can be found here
Words: 1.7k
Warnings: Pregnancy
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
“Sweetheart?”
Emily smiles at the sound of her husband’s voice, a welcome sound after a long day in the house by herself. Maternity leave was boring her to the point of tears, but she was so close to her due date now. Just a week to go until their baby would be born. Aaron, and all the books they’d read, told her this was her time to rest. To get some much-needed sleep until the baby arrived, but she found herself unable to do so. Whether it was discomfort, the baby moving or restless energy she couldn’t explain despite her exhaustion, she couldn’t sleep.
It was slowly driving her insane.
“I’m in the living room, honey,” she calls back, shifting as much as she can on the couch, feeling breathless as the baby seems to take up all of the space where her lungs used to be.
“Where’s Jack?” Aaron asks as he appears in the doorway of the living room, leaning on the back of the couch to smile at her.
“Jess picked him up from school and took him to hers,” she says, smiling tiredly at him, “it seemed easier than her dropping him off only to pick him up to take him to Roy’s in the morning.”
Emily smiles up at Aaron as the kisses the top of her head before rounding the couch, shifting her legs so he can slip under them before placing them on his lap.
“Did you manage to sleep at all?” He asks, squeezing at her knee. She throws him a sharp look, and he nods, “I’m going to take that as a no.”
“Of course I didn’t sleep,” she groans, running one of her hands over her bump, “he never stops moving long enough for me to get any rest, and when he does I can’t get comfortable.”
“Only a week until she gets here,” he says, flashing a smile at her as she rolls her eyes at him. They had decided early on that they didn’t want to know what they were having, so they had played this game for months. A back and forth they both enjoyed.
“If I don’t go overdue,” she laments, “My doctor said I might,” she smiles as the baby kicks particularly sharply. She grabs Aaron’s hand and places it on her bump, her smile widening as he looks just as awed by it as he did the first time all those months ago, “What time are the team getting here?”
The monthly pasta nights had switched to their house when Emily started her third trimester, the exhaustion from her first trimester returning like an old friend. Dave still insisted on cooking, which neither Emily nor Aaron were going to argue with, but it meant she was able to have her home comforts around her, or nap until the team arrived.
“In about an hour,” he replies, “I’ll go make sure the kitchen is ready for Dave. You have plenty of time to go upstairs and get changed.”
She raises an eyebrow at him and points at her outfit, an old t-shirt of his and a pair of maternity leggings.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” She asks, and his eyes go wide as he tries to backtrack.
“Nothing, sweetheart, you look beaut-”
“Aaron, honey, I’m kidding,” she says, laughing, her smile wide as he sighs in relief. Her mood was impossible to keep track of these days, something he knew she hated and the last thing he wanted to do was upset her by mistake. Again. “You are going to have to help me up though.”
He stands and watches as she swings her legs over the end of the couch so she can stand too, and he offers her both of his hands. He pulls her up and she smiles gratefully at him, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.
“Thank you,” she says, kissing him again, “Are you sure you don’t want any help with the kitchen?”
He doesn’t mention that she wouldn’t have been any help even if she wasn’t 9 months pregnant, knowing that would be like waving a red flag to a bull, he simply shakes his head and kisses her cheek.
“I’ve got it, sweetheart,” he places a hand on her belly and smiles at the movement of their child underneath her skin, “You go get ready.”
He watches as she walks away, her hand pressing into her back as she talks softly to the baby, and he wonders when his life got this good.
___
“Where’s, Em?”
Aaron smiles at Penelope as he stands aside to let her into the house, “Good to see you too, Garcia.”
“I see your chiselled face every day, bossman. I haven’t seen Peaches in forever,” Penelope says in her own defence as she walks past him, closely followed by JJ and Spencer.
“Emily started her maternity leave 12 days ago,” Spencer adds, his eyebrows furrowed together.
“Exactly,” Penelope says, “Forever.”
Aaron smiles at their antics and shakes his head, “She went upstairs to get changed, I’ll go get her,” he says, “Dave and Morgan are already in the kitchen.”
He takes the stairs two at a time, smirking to himself as he hears the team all greet each other like it had been days since they last saw year other, not the mere hour it had been since they’d all left the office.
He opens the bedroom door, and he’s met by the sight of her fast asleep on their bed, on top of the covers, curled around her pregnancy pillow. She’s still in his t-shirt and her leggings, a sure sign that she had told herself she’d lay down for a moment before she changed but promptly fell asleep instead. He smiles and walks over, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead as he pulls the throw from the end of the bed over her. She doesn’t even flinch and he slowly walks back out of the room, ensuring he’s as quiet as possible as he closes the door behind him.
He heads back down the stairs and walks into the kitchen, smiling when he sees Penelope’s face fall when it’s just him who walks into the room.
“No, Em?” She asks, pouting slightly, and he shakes his head.
“She fell asleep?” JJ asks, a knowing smile on her face as she takes a sip of her wine, and Aaron nods in response, “I could barely sleep when I got to this stage, and when I did Will was in trouble if he woke me up.”
“And that is exactly why we’re going to stay quiet, ok?” Aaron says, looking at them all, not above using his ‘Hotch’ face to intimidate them all into it.
“Of course, Hotch,” Derek says, putting his hands up as if he was in defence of himself, “We’ll keep quiet.”
Dave drops the saucepan lid as Derek speaks, the metal hitting the hardwood floor hard as the sound echoes around the house. They all pause for a second, waiting to see if they hear a door open upstairs, but only silence follows. Aaron looks at Dave who avoids eye contact.
“Dave-”
“I know, I know,” Dave says, stirring the sauce in front of him, “Shut the fuck up.”
___
Emily slowly wakes up, sighing as she stretches slightly, the familiar feeling of her baby rolling in her stomach making her smile. She opens her eyes and sees her husband sitting up next to her. He has a hand in her hair, gently running his fingers through it in the way she loved. His other hand was balancing the instalment booklet for the car seat, something he’d already read a dozen times, as he prepared to put it in the car in the morning.
“Aaron?” She asks, and he looks at her, immediately booking the booklet down as he lays down next to her, kissing her forehead.
“Hi sweetheart,” he says, “How are you feeling after your sleep?”
“What time is it?” She asks, ignoring his question as she tries to remember when she fell asleep in the first place. She yawns, the action turning into a sleepy smile as she looks up at him.
“11 pm,” he replies, and it takes a moment for what he’s said to register. She tries to sit up, but can’t, encumbered by her belly.
“What? How long did I sleep?” She asks, “What about the team? Why didn’t you wake me?”
He suppresses a smile at the barrage of questions, the indignation on her face somewhat adorable.
“I think you must have fallen asleep the moment you came up here,” he says, tucking some hair behind her ear, and covering a chuckle with a cough as she bats his hand away, “And I didn’t wake you up because you’ve barely slept in days, sweetheart. The team understood.”
She scoffs, “I can’t believe you just let me sleep through them being here.”
“Would you rather I woke you up?” He asks carefully, and her frown somehow deepens.
“No! I’m so tired, if you’d have woken me up it would have been cruel.”
“So, what you’re saying is…there was no winning for me in this scenario?” He asks, smiling at her as he runs his hand up and down her back, soothing the spots he knew hurt the most. She furrows her brow as if she’s considering it before she sighs, relaxing slightly as she reaches up to push his hair off of his forehead.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?” He asks grabbing her hand to kiss her knuckles, rubbing his thumb over the spot on her finger where her wedding rings usually laid. Her fingers were too swollen to wear them right now, so she was wearing them on a chain around her neck he’d bought her when he found her crying over the fact her rings were, briefly, stuck on her hand.
“For being unreasonable.”
“Baby,” he says, kissing the top of her head, “You’re 39 weeks pregnant, you’re allowed to be as unreasonable as you want.”
There’s a brief pause, a moment of silence before she tilts her head backwards to look at him, her eyes narrowed.
“So you do think I’m being unreasonable?”
-x-
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Babbiieeesssss 🥺💖
And thank youu once again Thomas Gibson!
Another tbt! I seriously love him 💖
(thomasgibsonofficial: 🔥🔥🔥 #tbt )
Songs the team sings when they’re drunk...
Hotch would sing Escape (the piña colada song) by Rupert Holmes or Super Freak by Rick James to Emily
Spencer and Penelope would practically scream Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
JJ and Emily would sing September by Earth Wind & Fire
Morgan would sing Return of the Mack by Mark Morrison
JJ and Penelope would sing No Scrubs by TLC
Spencer would sing Tainted Love by Soft Cells
Spencer, Morgan, Penelope, JJ, and Emily would probably sing Fergalicious by Fergie
Hotch would also sing My Girl by The Temptations to Emily because it’s their song. I have this vision where one day they are in the kitchen dancing and singing along to My Girl as their kids walk in an watch the sight
Penelope would sing Respect by Aretha Franklin and I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
Morgan would sing Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis with Penelope attached to his hips and swaying with him
Morgan would also sing Build Me up Buttercup by The Foundations to his baby boy who is now blushing like a maniac
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
The Things You Said ... at 1am
After a get together at Rossi's, Aaron finds Emily sitting under a tree. Wine is drank, conversation is had and maybe things are more than they seem.
could you write something about how emily starts calling jack “pumpkin” bc of his name? maybe during halloween :)
This is SUCH a cute idea, and I hope that you enjoy this anon <3
-x-
We're Simply Meant to Be
Words: 2.2k
Warnings: None, mild spoilers for The Nightmare Before Christmas
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
“Emily, can we watch a scary movie?”
She smiles over at Jack, the young boy settling on the couch next to her, a wide smile on his face. She narrows her eyes playfully at him.
“I think you’re a bit young for a scary movie, sweetie.”
He pouts at her, and she has to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling, the look on his face was nothing short of adorable to her.
“I’m not that young, and it's Halloween.”
“You’re 7,” she deadpans, standing up and walking over to the collection of DVDs in the Hotchner’s living room, “Let’s see what you’ve got here,” she smiles to herself as she looks at how well organised they are, seeing not for the first time that they were sorted by category. It was just so Aaron that it made her fall even more in love with him.
They hadn’t been together long, the three months since their first date, and their first kiss, passing them by quickly. It somehow felt like he’d always been there, his love and support such a part of her daily routine now she wondered what used to take its place, how she lived without it.
It had only been a couple of weeks since they’d started telling people they were together. Jack was the first person they had told followed closely by Jessica. The team had only known for a few days, their reactions ranging from surprise to insistence that they already knew.
Emily was most nervous about Jack finding out, although Aaron had told her for weeks that the little boy often asked him if Emily was his girlfriend anyway. She was a regular visitor to the Hotchner household before she and Aaron made the switch from friends to more, and she spent most weekends with them if the team weren’t away on a case.
She smiles as she pulls a DVD off the shelf, “I think this will work,” she says as she walks over to the player, leaning down to put the DVD in. She hands Jack the case as she sits back down next to him.
“The Nightmare Before Christmas?” He reads from the case, looking up at her incredulously, “Emily it’s Halloween, not Christmas!”
She laughs at the tone in his voice, the slight confusion clear. “It’s about a place called Halloweentown. And the main character discovers Christmas.”
“So…it’s a Christmas movie?”
“No, it’s a Halloween movie,” she replies, furrowing her brows as she thinks about it a little more, “Well, it’s probably both,” she admits, looking over at him, “but I think this is the scariest we can go without your dad being mad at me.”
“Daddy could never be mad at you, he loves you!” Jack says, putting the DVD case on the coffee table in front of them as he settles back into the couch, just far enough away from her that there was a small gap between them.
Emily smiles at the childhood innocence, “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get mad at me sweetie,” she looks at the time on her watch, seeing they were already barrelling towards Jack’s bedtime. “Shall we start?”
He nods enthusiastically and she presses play, setting the remote onto the arm of the couch as the movie starts.
She’s pleased when Jack seems to enjoy it, his delight at sharing his name with the main character clear, and she relaxes slightly. Aaron had repeatedly asked her if she’d be ok taking Jack for the evening, a meeting with Strauss keeping him behind at the office, and she’d assured him it would be fine.
It was only when she was alone with him, carefully reading the instructions on the back of a packet of mac and cheese that she started to doubt her own abilities. She knew she couldn’t cook, it was something Aaron teased her about constantly, but Jack didn’t. And she had a feeling she couldn’t explain that she would feel like she had let him down if he didn’t like what she cooked him. Jack hadn’t said anything if he hadn’t enjoyed his dinner, eating it as happily as he always did when she’d seen Aaron make it for him.
As the movie continues she can feel Jack looking over at her occasionally, his eye flicking over to her when he thinks she isn’t paying attention. She fights against the instinct to ask him what is wrong, knowing that his need to work things through on his own was just one of the many things he had inherited from his father.
“Emily,” he says eventually, his voice unsure as she reaches for the remote, pausing the movie, “can I ask you something?”
“Of course, you can honey,” she replies, turning on the couch to face him, ensuring he knows he has all of her attention, “you can always ask me anything.”
Jack looks down at his hands as he continues, “Now you’re Daddy’s girlfriend, can we still be friends?”
Whatever she had been expecting, it hadn’t been this. She remembered Jack’s delight when they’d told him they were together, hugging both of them tightly as he quickly launched into plans for the three of them for that weekend.
“Of course Jack,” she says, shifting towards him on the couch to rest her hands over his, and he looks up at her, his eyes shining in a way that makes her stomach churn, “where’s this come from?”
He sighs like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders as he shrugs them slightly, looking much older than he actually was. He’d been through a lot in his short life, much more than he deserved, and she never wanted to be something that added to his stress.
It had been one of the main reasons she’d been so worried to tell Jack about her and Aaron in the first place.
“Aidan at school said his dad’s new girlfriend doesn’t like him and is mean,” he sniffs slightly, shifting in place on the couch as he speaks, “I don’t want that to happen, I like you being my friend.”
“Oh honey,” She says, smiling sadly at him as she opens her arms, relieved when he immediately dives into her embrace, settling against her chest as she cups the back of his head, her lips against his forehead, “that will never happen, ok?”
Jack pulls back to look at her, his brows furrowed in such a way that made her ache, the expression on his face just so Aaron she swore she falls a little bit more in love with them both.
“You promise?” He asks, one of his hands reaching out for her necklace, his fingers idly playing with the chain.
“I promise,” she replies, smiling reassuringly at him, “I love you, and your daddy. And no matter what, whether your dad and I are just friends, or if we’re together, nothing will change things between you and me,” he looks unsure, a frown on his face that she has to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing at, “You don’t believe me?”
He shrugs again, “Dunno.”
Emily adjusts Jack so he is sitting properly on her lap, his head in the crook of her neck as he snuggles in closer.
“Well, you and me have been friends for years, right?” She reasons, and he nods against her, “I met you when you were really tiny, so small that your dad could hold you up with one hand.”
Jack laughs, removing his head from her neck to look at her, “I wasn’t that tiny.”
She scoffs in jest, poking him in the ribs to tickle him, feeling nothing but relief when he giggles, any sadness he had previously felt nowhere to be found.
“You were,” she replies, “Do you remember it?” She asks, watching as he thinks really hard about it before he shakes his head, “Well I do, so you’ll just have to trust me.”
“I trust you, Emily,” he replies, and the simple admission almost makes her cry, forcing her to clear her throat as she forces the emotion back. This boy, who had been through so much, trusted her, and it meant more than she ever thought it could.
“Then you’ll have to trust me with this too, ok? No matter what, I’ll always be here for you.”
Jack stares at her for a second before nodding, “Ok.”
“Good,” she says, kissing his head as he settles against her again, making no move to separate from her, “Do you want to carry on with the movie?” He nods again and she reaches for the remote, “Are you sure it isn’t too scary?”
“It’s not scary, Emily!” He replies, his tone implying she was ridiculous for even suggesting it, “it’s a talking pumpkin called Jack.”
She laughs, “Ok, I apologise, we will carry on,” she kisses the side of his head as she presses play, “if he’s called Jack, does that mean I get to call you pumpkin?”
He laughs, leaning his head against her shoulder, “You’re silly, Emily.”
She takes that as a yes. ___
Emily wakes to the feeling of the bed dipping behind her, and she smiles as she feels Aaron lean over to kiss her temple before he settles into bed next to her. She stretches slightly and rolls over to greet him.
“Hey honey,” she whispers, smiling at him as she opens her eyes, “you’re late, I tried to wait up.”
“I’m sorry,” he replies, tugging her into his side, pressing his lips to her forehead, “Strauss wouldn’t let me go.” She mutters a curse under her breath, and Aaron laughs against her hairline, his arms curling around her as she settles against him, her leg thrown over his hips, her hand on his chest, “Go back to sleep sweetheart.”
She hums but tilts her head to look up at him, “Jack wanted to watch a scary movie,” she says, smiling when Aaron chuckles and shakes his head at his son, “I talked him down to Nightmare Before Christmas, he enjoyed it.”
“Good,” he replies, starting to run his hand up and down her arm, a surefire way to lull her to sleep, “did you have fun?”
“Yeah,” she says, closing her eyes as she rests her head more comfortably on his shoulder, “he asked me if me and him can still be friends now we’re together,” she feels his grip tighten on her, and it makes her smile, his love for his son one of the main things she loved about him, “I assured him nothing would change,” she turns her head just enough to press her lips into his neck, kissing him there in an attempt to reassure him, “he knows I won’t turn into an evil step-mother.”
If she had been fully awake, she never would have said it, any inference to their future still seeming too soon, even though they’d exchanged ‘I love you’ almost immediately. But they knew this was it, that what they had could never go anywhere other than forward. A home they would eventually share, marriage. It didn’t scare her like it once would have, the man pressed up against her side her solid ground.
“Go to sleep, Em,” he says against her hairline, failing to suppress his smile at what she’d said, her words making love bloom in his chest. “Em?” Her response is only a hum, her body already heavier against him as she loses her fight with sleep. “That mac and cheese you left in the fridge is terrible.”
___
When she walks into the kitchen in the morning, it does surprise her that both of the Hotchners are already wide awake, in the middle of making pancakes. Jack was clearly being more of a hindrance than a help if the amount of batter on the counter was anything to go by.
“Good morning,” she says around a yawn as she makes it to Aaron’s side, greeting him with a kiss that he gratefully returns.
“Morning sweetheart,” he replies, stamping another kiss against her lips as he smiles at her, “we are attempting to make breakfast.”
She hears the silent request and sees how he flicks his eyes over to his son, a slightly pleading look on his face. She smiles at her boyfriend and winks, leaning forward to kiss his cheek before she steps away from him.
“Jack, why don’t we go watch some cartoons whilst your dad finishes up breakfast for us?”
Jack beams at the idea, before turning serious, looking at his father, “Do you not need help Daddy?”
Aaron shakes his head, “I think I’ll be fine, buddy,” he replies, “And, I think Emily wants to watch the Transformers, and you know she never remembers any of their names.”
Jack jumps down off the stool he’d been kneeling on just in time to miss how Emily narrows her eyes at Aaron. Both of them highly aware she could recite all of the character names by heart because of how often Jack spoke about them.
Jack wraps his arms around Emily, hugging her tightly, and she looks down at him, ruffling his hair as she turns towards the living room.
“Come on then pumpkin,” she says, her arm around the little boy's shoulders, “you can remind me which one is Optimus Prime.”
Aaron can’t help but smile as he watches them walk the short distance to the couch. It’s only when he hears the TV turn on, the sound echoing through the apartment, that her words really register with him. He looks over at the two of them curled up together, Emily’s arm around his son as he settles against her side.
“Pumpkin?”
-x-
Tag list:
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✨SequinSmile-x 300 Follower Celebration Master List✨
This is the master list of all the prompts from my 300 follower celebration.
Linked ones are complete.
ANGST
"Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?"
“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”
"I don't need help. I need an end to this pain." (Miscarriage)
"It's always a losing game with you."
"Lie to me. I don't care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again." (Major character death)
“They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”
"Why is it so hard for you to believe me?"
"You started drinking again, didn't you?" (Alcoholism/Addiction)
“You’re the reason I’m still here.”
FLUFF
"Are you blushing?"
"Are you jealous?"
"But it's my fault, right?"
"Can I stay here tonight?"
"Can you sing that song for me again?"
"Darling, I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."
"Don't forget me."
“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”
"I'm right here."
"It's you, it always has been."
"She's worth the wait."
“Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”
“You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”
"You say you hate it, but your red face is telling me otherwise."
"You took all the pillows so I'm using you as one."
"You're an idiot." "But you love me."
"You're safe now, I'm here."
"You're the only thing that matters."
HURT/COMFORT
“Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?”
"How do you always know exactly what I need?" "I pay attention."
"I know it hurts. I'm sorry, but I have to get this out."
"I'm going to ask you how you are and I'd like you to answer me honestly."
"Show me where it hurts."
"Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you will have me."
"This is not who you are. I know you better than that."
"You don't have to be strong all the time."
“You’re normally the tough guy. Today, let me be tough for the both of us.”
-x-
Lives in a Dream
Emily's first night out after having her and Aaron's baby girl.
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: none
Read on Ao3, or below the cut
Let me know what you think!
Emily never considered that she could love him even more than she already did. That what she felt for Aaron would somehow settle deeper into her, finding places she didn’t even know existed and filling them with him. Then she watched him with their daughter, their tiny baby looking impossibly smaller in his hands, and she felt stupid for never realising that this could happen. That watching the two of them together would make love swell in her chest so quickly it was a miracle it didn’t crack open, spilling everything she felt for them onto the floor for everyone to see.
They hadn’t found out what they were having, both of them agreeing they would wait because it didn’t matter. They had been trying for a while, long enough that when the pregnancy test finally came back positive the relief that flooded Emily’s body had made her burst into tears. Aaron had rushed in, only having been standing on the other side of the door at her behest after she had explained that, whilst she loved him with every fibre of her being, she refused to pee in front of him.
He’d been ready to comfort her, his hands stretched out to envelop her in his embrace, the sound of her tears through their ensuite door now sadly a semi regular occurrence in their house. She hadn’t been able to speak. She simply shook her head at him and passed him the test. The moment it registered he had pulled her into his arms, his own tears hitting the top of her head.
When the midwife placed their baby on her chest for the first time, announcing to them that they had a daughter, everything seemed to fall into place. An answer to a question she had never asked. She was able to tear her eyes away from their little girl for a second to look at Aaron, the wonder she felt reflected in his own eyes.
They name her Eleanor.
Motherhood was as exhausting as it was rewarding. The first 8 weeks disappeared in a blur of sleepless nights, plenty of tears from both Emily and Eleanor and so much love it overflowed. Their house bursting at the seams with it. __________
When she’s half way through her maternity leave Aaron gently convinces her to go out for girls' night. Emily can imagine him conspiring with JJ and Penelope in his office to get her out of the house. The text she had received in their group chat the week before, demanding a night out, lining up suspiciously with her husband's suggestion of the same thing that very morning.
She’s standing at their front door, her purse over her shoulder and Eleanor in her arms as she kisses her head. Aaron has a soft, encouraging smile on his face as he carefully pulls their two month old out of her arms into his own. She smiles as she watches him adjust Eleanor to his own chest. The tiny baby cradled against him as he gently rocks her, his giant hand covering her entire back.
Emily can hear Jack’s video game from the next room and suddenly she isn’t sure about going out anymore at all. Content to stay in this little family bubble they had created over the last several weeks, hesitant to burst it no matter how much she misses her friends.
“They are excited about tonight, Em.” He says, a soft smile on his face. “Pen asked me 3 times today if you were still planning on going.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going.” She replies, narrowing her eyes at him, her arms crossed around her chest.
“You didn’t have to.” He deadpans. “Now come over and give Ellie a kiss and go before you end up being late.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Just her?”
“I wouldn’t say no to a kiss either.”
She closes the gap between them and kisses him, smiling against his lips. As she pulls away she cups the back of Eleanor’s head before kissing her forehead.
“Bye baby, Mommy will be back later, ok?” She kisses her little girl’s forehead again and she pulls back, hoping Aaron doesn’t notice how her smile shakes and her fingers twitch as she stops herself from reaching out and snatching their baby from him.
“Jack.” Aaron calls over his shoulder. “Emily is going out, come say good night.”
“Good night, Emily.” He calls from the other room, the sound of his video game not pausing for a second, making the two adults laugh.
“Night, honey.” She calls back. She looks at Aaron and kisses his cheek. “I should go, Pen is probably tracking my phone.”
“Have fun.” He replies leaning forward to kiss her quickly. She steps away from them and heads towards the door. “Love you, Mommy.”
Emily goes out with her breast pump in her purse in case she ends up needing it, and she considers how much things have changed. __________
When she gets to the restaurant and sees her friends Emily initially feels a barb of insecurity, something she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager who desperately wanted to fit in. Dressed in her new jeans that were a size bigger than her old ones and her maternity shirt, she’s sure she’ll stand out as something close to frumpy next to Penelope’s exuberance and JJ’s infuriatingly incredible figure. But they both fawn over her, compliments about how amazing she looks that make her believe Aaron must have said something to them.
As they are shown to their table, a sit down dinner instead of a night at a bar was part of the compromise they came to that made her agree to come out, Penelope whispers something about how massive her boobs look directly into Emily’s ear and it makes her laugh. She places her phone on the table so she can keep an eye on it, ready to answer it if Aaron calls for whatever reason. The anxiety of leaving her baby for the first time needling at her even though she trusts her husband implicitly.
“How is the littlest Hotchner?” Penelope asks after they have ordered their food and drinks, as if Aaron didn’t fill them in on every development and change without prompting. The pride he felt rolling off of him in waves whenever someone mentioned the little girl he had at home.
“She’s great.” Emily says, feeling like she had to force down the immediate love that almost overwhelms her at the mention of her daughter, still not used to it yet. “She’s started to smile now. Actually smile at us, not just a reflex. It’s the cutest thing.”
“Pictures. Immediately.” Penelope demands and Emily looks at JJ who nods and it makes her laugh.
“She finds it really funny when Aaron does his ‘Hotch’ face.” She says as she picks up her phone to find a picture she took only the day before. “Here it is.”
She hands the phone to her friends, smiling when they both react to the picture. It’s one of her new favourites. Aaron holding Elanor out in front of him, secure with both of his hands behind her, a wide smile on her face with her dimples showing. Aaron looked serious, an expression they had all seen on his face countless times but with a difference. His eyes were lit up with happiness, the corners of his lips almost twitching in the still image to hold back his joy at the look on his daughter's face.
“Oh look at them.” JJ says, handing her phone back. “It makes me want more.” She seems to physically shake the idea off, taking a large sip of her glass of wine as if to push the feeling away.
“Tell me about it.” Emily grumbles as she accepts her drink from the waitress, taking a sip of her super sweet mocktail before she sets it down. “I gave birth 8 weeks ago and whenever I see the two of them together it makes me want half a dozen more of them. It’s ridiculous.”
“Well who can blame you, with that angel waiting for you at home.” Penelope says, pouting. “I need to see more photos.”
Emily unlocks her phone, opens the photo app and passes her phone over with a smile on her face. Penelope gleefully snatches the phone before her face falls, her eyes narrowed at her friend.
“Wait, I’m not going to see any photos of you or bossman that I don’t want to see, am I?” She asks, her nose scrunched in disgust.
“God, Pen.” Emily laughs, reaching for her drink to take a sip. “I had just had a baby, and that angel as you called her seems to take it as a personal challenge to let me have as little sleep as possible. I can assure you there’s nothing you don’t want to see.” She watches as her friend visibly relaxes, her attention back on Emily’s phone in her hand. “Just don’t scroll too far up.”
The look Penelope gives her makes her almost choke on her drink with laughter, JJ joining in instantly, and Emily finally lets herself fully relax. __________
Emily gently clicks the front door shut behind her, a tension she hadn’t realised had taken residence in her chest easing the second she is in her home. The house is silent, something that had become unusual for their home in the last several weeks, and she resists calling out for her husband in fear she could wake someone up. She takes off her shoes and coat and goes in search of him. It doesn’t take her long, the sight of him in their living room stopping her in her stride.
He was on the recliner, Eleanor was laying on him, her mouth hanging open as she slept. Aaron’s eyes were closed and his cheek was against the top of the baby’s head, his hand firmly holding her to his chest, protecting her even in sleep. There was a bottle on the coffee table next to them, half drunk, and spit up that Emily could see on her husband's shirt.
The love she felt for them spread through her like wildfire, burning through her so fiercely it stops her in her tracks and she can’t help but stand there and look at them. She felt lucky, still unsure how this impossible life was hers. Unsure how, despite everything, her and Aaron had made it to this. Something as achingly, beautifully, normal as coming home to find her husband and baby asleep together.
It felt like shining light, something she had always been led towards, though all of the pain and heartache. A beacon in the darkest days of her life.
Eleanor starts to fuss, a whine coming out of her that Emily knows means she isn’t far away from the wails that would keep them all awake at night. She closes the gap between them and shushes the baby, easing Aaron’s hand off of the infants back.
“Hi baby. I missed you.” Emily whispers as she lifts Eleanor into her arms, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as she settles onto the couch, resting her little girl against her. She notices one of her own pajama shirts laying on Aaron’s chest where their daughter had just been sleeping and she furrows her brow.
“She missed you too.” Aaron’s voice makes her jump slightly and she looks up to see him looking right at her, a soft smile on his face. He sits up on the recliner and puts her shirt to one side. “She wouldn’t settle, and I remembered reading somewhere that smelling you might help.” The look on his face is almost sheepish, as if she could feel anything other than overwhelming affection for him for being such a good dad. “It did.”
“You could have called if she was giving you a hard time.” Emily says as she looks down at the infant in her arms, content to lay against her mother, her wide eyes looking up at her. She traces her finger over her daughter’s dark hair, lost in thought as Aaron settles on the couch next to her, his arm slung over her shoulder, pulling the two of them closer to him.
“You needed your time with your friends. We made it work, didn’t we Ellie?” He says, kissing the side of Emily’s head. “You ok?” He asks, his fingers gently tracing circles on her arm.
“Yeah.” She answers a little too quickly, the way he squeezes her arm confirms he’d heard her hesitancy too. “I think so.” She looks up from Eleanor to her husband and smiles sadly at him. “I missed her a lot, like I left a part of me at home. I was only gone what, 3 hours?” Her smile trembles slightly and she looks back down at the baby as she makes a noise. “How am I going to go back to work?”
“Sweetheart.” He says as he kisses the side of her head again. “Give yourself a break. It was your first time away from her, it’s bound to feel weird.” He reaches out for her, his hand gently turning her face to look at him. “As for going back to work you still have some time, we’ll figure it out.”
She nods in response, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Eleanor cries out, drawing the attention of both of her parents to her, soft laughs escaping them both.
“And we both love you, sweet girl.” Emily says, rocking her gently. “That's her hungry cry.”
“Why don’t you head up, settle into bed with her and I’ll sort a few things down here.”
Emily nods and stands, rocking the baby as she goes, trying to keep her as calm as possible as she heads upstairs.
“Oh I know my love.” She whispers to the baby. “I get grumpy when I’m hungry too. So does Daddy, but he denies it.”
“Em?”
She turns to see her husband standing staring at her, a lot of adoration on his face.
“Yeah?”
“You’re a really good mom.” He says, as if it is the most obvious thing on the planet. It makes emotion swell in her immediately, tears flooding her eyes as she readjusts Eleanor in her arms, still rocking her slightly.
For a moment she isn’t sure what to say, how to respond. She wants to tell him everything, how watching him be a dad had always been one of her favourite things about him, even before they were together, but that watching him with their daughter had surpassed all of her expectations. That she loved him more every day, but it didn’t seem like enough. So she settled on the truth, the only thing she could say in that moment. Their grumpy baby in her arms, exhaustion pouring off of all of them.
“And you’re a really good dad.” She replies. They smile at each other for a second, the moment broken by a cry from Eleanor. “I’ll see you upstairs.”
She loved him, and she knew she would love him more tomorrow.