-Both he and Stiles have been pretending to watch television since Jesse left, Stiles vibrating with tension and Danny doing his best to soothe him with a hand on his thigh while pretending he wasn’t just as tense.
Their phones are on the couch beside them and when Stiles’ dings a text they both jump. Stiles snatches it up, then makes a soft, strangled noise before passing it to Danny.
Danny stares at the picture, a hundred different emotions coursing through him in the space of a few seconds. It’s Jesse, holding a baby, and a huge part of Danny just...aches. He’s always wanted kids. Always. But he knows Jesse doesn’t. Doesn’t want to risk passing any of what he is to someone else. And he and Jesse and Stiles are kind of a forever thing so Danny’s accepted he’ll just live off of borrowing their friends’ kids whenever he gets to jonesing. Except for now, at this moment, when he sees Jesse holding a newborn. When he can imagine Stiles doing the same. When in the next breath he expands that image to a dozen different snapshots of the three of them with their own children. First word, preschool, junior league lacrosse.
He sucks in a deep breath and closes his eyes-
Oh. -he does his best to gather himself before opening them again and handing the phone back to Stiles-
Ask when we can come visit. And if they want us to break the news to the DILFs for them.
-Jesse’s leg has been bouncing for the past however many hours since Ruby’s first text. It stops abruptly as his pocket vibrates.-
It’s here.
-Well. We’re not dead. It’s not really a question but it sort of sounds like one.-
I gotta go.
-Jesse kisses Danny, then Stiles, even while the latter is trying to say Send pics!
Ruby and Meg are on the couch when Jesse teleports back to the apartment. He supposes it’s there, too, but when he sees Meg the only thing he can think to ask is-
“Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same”
-Nathan already has a table by the time Danny gets to Oteos, and Danny is never going to stop being jealous of how, no matter how much he drinks, Nathan still manages to look good. It's just unfair.
Danny slides into the seat across from him and gratefully takes a gulp from the water glass waiting there.
It's nice to get to see you once and a while without your boyfriends.
Danny rolls his eyes-
They're not my boyfriends.
-Nathan hums and waits until Danny's picked up his menu before speaking again.
And why is that, exactly?
If anything, Danny's eyeroll is even bigger this time around.-
Because I'm not you.
-He knows Nathan's story. How he found David and how David did so much to heal the scars he carried around. But how Nathan was so fucked up he still kept doing things to try to self sabotage, to hurt David and push him away. And then they stumbled upon Michael. And somehow everything just...clicked. And the three of them balanced out in a way none of them in a pair could have alone. Which is wonderful for them and all, but so not he and Jesse and Stiles.
Please, bitch. -Nathan pops a piece of bread in his mouth- Nobody can be me. That's just too much perfection.
Danny laughs and then the server is there to take their order. And it's not until their food has arrived and they're in the middle of eating that Nathan starts in again.
I know you're not us. You don't have to be. But...listen. Nathan gets his serious face on and Danny resigns himself to having to be serious and hungover. I don't think most people can do it. People get too hung up on being jealous and socialized to think two is the only combination that works. I get it. I was there, too. But you guys...do you even realize how much time you spend together? If you're not at school, you're either sleeping or with one of them. Lately, both of them-
And? We're friends. Okay?
-Nathan's look is exasperated and just a little patronizing. Friends. Right. Look, I'm doing you a favor here. You love them. You know that-
I love a lot of people.
-Fine. You're in love with them. Better?
Danny shrugs, conceding the point-
So? It doesn't matter.
-The only reason it doesn't matter is because you can't choose between the two of them. So you're just not doing anything.-
No. It doesn't matter because you know what they did. I'm not putting myself through that again. With anyone.
-Okay, yes, they screwed up. But that was months ago. And I'm pretty sure you've gotten over it. I'm not saying you should let people keep hurting you. If people keep fucking up you gotta walk away. But look...I screwed up a lot in the beginning with David. Hell, even when Michael came. Because I was stupid and scared and still figuring out how to be a person again. And you know damn well Jesse lied to you because he was scared. From everything I can see, he's done everything possible to pull himself together and get through that. So yeah, it's because you can't choose. You couldn't, could you?
He's right about that. If Danny had been dating one of the other of them, it wouldn't have even been a question. It wouldn't have even crossed his mind to look elsewhere. But he isn't, and that's part of what makes it all so complicated.
He shrugs in response to Nathan, which Nathan obviously takes as agreement.
And can you imagine just walking away and never seeing or being with either one of them again?
That thought is like a physical blow, when he imagines a future void of either one of them-
And that's why we're friends -he insists.
Nope. That's why you're all stuck living in this weird limbo. Or rather not living. Do you have any idea how many people hit on Stiles last night? And tried to hit on Jesse? And neither of them came remotely close to taking any of them up on it. Because they too focused on you. They can't move on and they can't go back because they're in this limbo with you. It's not fair. To any of you. So if you can't actually cut them loose, you should do something about it. You know they love you. And while they might not be in love with each other, you at least know they're attracted to each other. And whatever happened during your...climbing accident...Nathan looks pointedly at the stump where Danny's finger used to be, a reminder that Nathan has never come close to buying the story Danny had tried to feed him. made them pretty tight friends. Relationships are built out of way less than that. It could work.
Danny sits back and crosses his arms-
Yeah, and it could fail miserably. They're my best friends, even when you take the other stuff out. I could lose both of them. I can't do that.
-True. It could go horribly wrong. Or it could go amazingly right. You're not a coward, Danny. Sometimes you have to take a chance without knowing what the end will be. Sometimes the risk is worth it.
Danny snorts-
Dude, you sound like a self help guru. Or like you've been taking one too many of my mom's yoga classes.
-Nathan makes a face. Michael's into all that zen stuff. It's rubbing off. But my point is still right. You gotta make a choice. You need to either back off and let them live their lives, or you gotta make the call. And I am telling you this as your friend, backing off is not the right thing to do here. So go, be brave, my little grasshopper.
Danny flips him off-
Eat your food.
-Nathan stares him down, one eyebrow raised, but Danny refuses to continue the conversation. Finally Nathan sighs and shakes his head mournfully, and changes the subject to what he's planning to do over the holidays.
Danny smiles and nods in all the appropriate places, but now that Nathan has put the idea there, he can't stop the wheels that are spinning madly in his brain-
Stiles is making fun of me for still wanting to wear the arm. But look at this beauty and tell me you wouldn't feel the same. Besides, I'm not the hungover idiot that walked into a wall so....
-Danny wakes up to a pounding head that plainly speaks to how much he'd drank last night. He groans and rolls over and buries his head in his pillow, hearing an answering groan from the floor to his right. He raises his head to peer over the edge at where Stiles is zipped up to his neck in a sleeping bag and has his arm over his eyes-
You okay?
-Nobody could be okay after Nathan's parties. I hope his boyfriends are saving up for the liver transplant he's gonna need one day.
Stiles fishes blindly around the floor next to him, in the jumble of his Iron Man suit he had drunkenly shed before pouring himself into his sleeping bag. Danny's Captain America costume is crumpled up in his desk chair, and he can see the pants from Jesse's Winter Soldier balled up in the corner by the door.
Stiles makes a triumphant noise as he comes up with his helmet and puts it on, the tinted eye shield dimming the light coming from the window.
Oh, Jesus, that's so much better.
Danny shakes his head and rolls his eyes-
You're such a dork.
-There's snort from the direction of the floor to the left of the bed, and Stiles turns his head to look through under the bed, while Danny rolls over the other way and hangs his head off the side to see Jesse propping himself up on his elbows, his tattoos defying any attempt of the morning sun to illuminate his bare chest.
That's the one positive about never being able to drink, I guess. He shrugs as he speaks, smirking at both of them in turn. I'll never look as shitty as the two of you look right now.
Stiles must have flipped him off, because Jesse laughs and shoots a bird aimed under the bed. Danny flops back down and puts the pillow over his head.
He'd been worried about Jesse when Nathan had invited the three of them to one of his infamous Halloween parties (I know you're gonna be with them, so they may as well come, too) because he knows what the alcohol level is like at those things. He'd actually said no at first, because he and Stiles and Jesse had already made plans to hang out, had even planned their costumes accordingly, but when Jesse had heard, he'd insisted.
I'm fine. It's fine. Cameron's been working with me a lot, and it's not like I can avoid it forever. If I'm going to test it, I'd rather you guys be there. You'll stop me if I fuck up.
But he hadn't fucked up, and Danny's pretty sure he'd actually had a good time. They'd all had a good time. Danny's more than grateful they've come to a point they can all be friends, even though he'll privately admit he misses the spontaneous make out sessions he'd kiboshed with Stiles. Just like he still sometimes wakes up reaching out for Jesse and ends up with an empty feeling in his stomach when he only touches open space.
All at once, his phone alarm shrieks, piercing and ear splitting.
Oh my God, turn it off, turn it off!! Stiles is shrieking almost louder than the phone itself, and Jesse is howling with laughter. Danny scrambles around in the bedsheets, finally locating his phone buried under layers of blankets.
He silences it and groans-
I have to get up. I promised Nathan I'd meet him for lunch. Just ah --he rolls painfully to a sitting position and straightens the waistband of his boxers-- grab some food and a shower or whatever when you decide to get up. I'll be back later.
-He stumbles out of the room and to the shower, hoping the hot water will somehow manage to cure his headache-
