Is there any bitterness in my heart?
What is bitterness?
The dictionary says:
Is “anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment.”
Someone who is bitter is angry and unhappy because they cannot forget bad things that happened in the past
What is anger?
Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.
Bitterness comes from anger. Anger is an emotion. Emotions are not facts.
We become bitter when we hold on to past emotions for too long.
First of all, emotions are not facts. Sometimes we might feel like someone has done wrong to us, but without knowing their scenario and perspective, we can only assume that they have done us wrong. And then we become angry just because we “felt” like that person done something wrong against us, when in fact it might all just happen in our head.
Without being open we will never know both sides of the story and we might hold onto these feelings for too long until we become bitter.
Comparison also leads to bitterness. Why do I compare myself with others?
-To make excuses and make things that are unacceptable seem more acceptable.“Oh that person did this, so I can do it as well”.
-Because I allow insecurities/ fear to stop me from repenting and go after what I really want to do and I chose to say “oh she will win anyway” and give up instead of trying because its easier.
-To take the focus off from my mistakes and put it on others
Galatians 1:10 ESV
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
-> When I compare myself with others, who’s approval am I seeking? Am I seeking approval from humans? Am I waiting for a sister to say “ oh yes you’re right its acceptable to make mistakes sometimes”. Or am I seeking God’s approval? Am I actually trying to please God or just myself?
If God left the Bible as I standard of how to live life and I chose to follow that standard, why am I trying to make excuses for unacceptable behaviours that I might have done
Why chose to compare myself to someone else who has done the same thing, knowing that I am comparing myself to someone who also didn’t follow the standard. Why am I not comparing myself to someone who always follows the standard instead and try to imitate that person?
Is this not just me being selfish and trying to find a way to get myself out of that situation by comparing my mistake to someone else’s ? Is this not just me trying to take the focus off that I done to that someone else did?
Instead of following others’ mistakes why don’t I chose to speak to these people and check to see what the situation actually is.
Check To see if there was an actual mistake or If the situation was different that I saw it from outside.
So in this situation openness is they key as well. Communicating.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you
The Bible encourages us to get rid of all bitterness and everything else that bitterness will cause such as rage, anger, brawling, slander.
How do we get rid of bitterness? We should stay open about everything. Before leaning on my own understanding of that specific “issue” I should contact the other person involved and open up, express how I feel and how I see the situation and ask that person how does he/she sees the situation from their perspective and also how do they feel because I might not be the only one who feels a certain type of way.
Pray about it. Pray to God to soften my hear and give me wisdom in those moments to seek advice and look for answers in the Bible and not rely on my own understanding.
Seek advice in the Kingdom
Not allowing emotions to control me.
Hebrews 12:14-15 NIV
14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
The Bible call us to be Holy. God calls us to MAKE EVERY EFFORT to be holy. When you make an effort to be holy, it means that you will chose to do things a certain way everyday and that you will feel like you’re making an effort. So for example, you’re upset and you’d shout at your friend, but by making an effort to stay calm, to think clearly and to chose to solve the issue without anger, you are making an effort to be holy.
What does it mean to be holy?
Leviticus 20:26 (You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.)
Being holy= set apart from the world
Deuteronomy 23:14 (For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.)
2. Being holy= being decent
Leviticus 11:43-45 Do not defile yourselves by any of these creatures. Do not make yourselves unclean by means of them or be made unclean by them. [44] I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy. Do not make yourselves unclean by any creature that moves about on the ground. [45] I am the LORD who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy.
3.Being holy= free of defilement
Defilement =contamination, corruption
Being Holy means being set apart from the world which happens on the day we chose to follow Christ. Once we chose to follow Christ, we don’t conform to the pattern of the world anymore so we are being set apart from the world. Being holy also means being decent and not being defiled/contaminated/ corrupted by the people around us.
In Acts 4:27 Jesus is called “ holy servant”. In Mark 1:24 is called “the Holy One of God”. => So Jesus is Holy. And we have His example on how to live a holy life in the Bible. We just need to imitate Jesus life and that will help us to make the effort to be holy.
Hebrews 12: 15
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Bitterness can cause trouble and define others ( contaminate/ corrupt others).
If we do not cut the bitterness from the root, it will end up growing and pushing us into corrupting others around us.
What's the teaching?
Cut the bitterness from the root! Be open, ask for advice and guidance.