#hrtextpost

[moonlightsonatah]

imagining a time where shane tells ilya that he put on a suit before their first hookup. like, years down the line they’re dressing up for an event and shane looks in the mirror and starts giggling. having flashbacks of fixing his tie just like he’s doing right now. and ilya’s like ??? "what is so funny?" and shane obviously tries to play it off. all “nothing. it’s nothing.” but he has this goofy ass look on his face he can’t quite hide. it’s not until ilya gets all up in his space, hands sliding around his waist, puppy dog eyes coming out in full force, that shane goes “it just reminded me of the first time we got together”. and this really throws ilya through a loop because huh?? and so he has to explain. how he was so nervous and so excited and so full of uncontrolled energy that he put on a full suit and tie before ilya came knocking on his door. how he then had to scramble to take it all off, put it away neatly, and then act like he wasn't just sitting in the dark thinking he had lost his mind. this, obviously, sets ilya off. laughing, tears in his eyes. because this is the love of his life. he's so in love with this goofy ass boy that not only had this ridiculous idea, but that fully went through with it for a minute. he gathers enough composure to hit him with a "so you were reaaally trying to impress me, yes?". safe to say they were late to the event.

[moonlightsonatah]

i need ilya to be the little spoon so bad. i need shane to be so curled up around him. i need him nuzzling into shane’s chest. i need his curls to be pet and played with. i need him tucked into shane’s neck. i need his back scratched. i need shane cooing in his ear. i need him to have so many soothing kisses. i need him to wake up so wrapped up and loved up, he forgets for a moment that he ever felt lonely.

[moonlightsonatah]

ilya calling shane as many canadian-esque pet names as possible. that’s shane. his little maple syrup. his little moose. his little poutine. his little canada goose. his little ketchup chip. his little bear. his little maple leaf.

[moonlightsonatah]

all i want is you. it's always you. i'm so in love with you and i don't know what to do about it.

[moonlightsonatah]

ya tebya lyublyu. he whispered that into the air. into his neck. into his mouth. like a prayer. like a promise. like a vow. he pressed it into his skin along with his tears. until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. until it burst out of him. i love you.

[moonlightsonatah]

i think about shane being so brave when he calls ilya that first time all the time. he just goes straight to his phone and hits call. he's so worried about him, he loves him so much, that he CALLS HIM. they don't do this. they send off flirty texts and meetup times back and forth. they don't call. they don't speak. they don't facetime. just dancing around the fact that they can do this, that they want to, but neither pulling the trigger. so for this to be the first time, for shane to be so worried that he just presses that call button is so big. it's so brave! for him to be by the phone, waiting for at least a message back. for him to pick up immediately when ilya facetimes him back. not a second thought about being on camera. about seeing ilya. about being seen soft and vulnerable in his home. it's an instant choice of "i'm here for you" and "i got you" and "i will listen" and "i like you" and "i will hold your worries" and "i will make time for you" and what is all of that if not bravery and love?

[moonlightsonatah]

how does shane take care of his little spoon ilya in the morning once they make it out of bed? because i know if this man wakes up getting all loved up on like that, the feeling is gonna linger and he’s gonna stay soft and clingy and needy all day 🙂‍↕️

aaauuugghhh 😩 continuing my little spoon ilya agenda

imagining that this is on a lazy cottage sunday morning, i'm sure they linger in bed as long as possible. they wake up so slow and they're so cozy and comfy and there's no need to get up. no responsibilities waiting for them. so shane makes sure to hold ilya as long as he wants. wrapping him up with his arms and his legs. scratching his back and squeezing the back of his neck and petting his curls and giving him little face caresses and kisses. so many kisses! on his forehead on his cheeks, on his nose, on his chin, on each eyelid, in between his eyebrows. making sure to get every little bit of his face before he reaches his lips and they makeout so slow for so long. just extending their quiet morning. making sure ilya feels as loved up as physically possible.

when they finally get up, they're attached at the hip. they go and brush their teeth together and do their little morning routine together. shane making sure to keep snuggling and spooning ilya in front of the mirror. making sure ilya's looking when he wraps his arms around him so he can see how he touches his stomach, his ribs, his chest. how he gives him little neck kisses and when he nuzzles behind his ear. he wants to make sure ilya is looking when he whispers "ya tebya lyublyu". so he can see how his face changes. how much it affects him. and how much shane means it.

then taking him by the hand and leading him to the kitchen. telling ilya to sit on the counter while he putters around making him his coffee and his breakfast. making sure to slide in between ilya's legs from time to time to kiss him and to pet his thighs. shane makes sure to cater him as much as he can. handing him his mug and feeding him strawberries and blueberries occasionally in between smooches.

after breakfast, shane leads him out to the lake. they relax on the dock. ilya sitting between shane's legs and leaning back against his chest for a bit. feeling the warm morning sun on his face while shane plays with his hair and makes low quite conversation close to his ear. nothing important. nothing that ilya has to think too hard about or has to answer in any concrete way. but just making sure that they're here and together and present. shane soothing ilya with his voice.

they spend the rest of their day like this. tangled up. never really separating for long. shane making sure that ilya continues to feel loved and cared for. wrapping him up in a big towel. fluffing his hair out once the curls dry all frizzy in the sun. giggling when ilya gives him a face for "making me look like a sheep, hollander". kissing him silly, making ilya feel every single ounce of his cuteness aggression. holding him close when he feels ilya melt and go boneless on top of him. because that's his baby and he's going to make it his mission he feels all his love.

[moonlightsonatah]

it's about working so so fucking hard to keep your walls up and then having a scrunchy faced goofy motherfucker come in and break through them. it's about letting yourself be vulnerable and seen for the first time in forever and letting your guard down and then...... getting completely obliterated once you do. it's about immediately faking out of what you just did and acting like everything is fine and feeling like your insides are trying to claw themselves out of you at all times. it's about realizing that your heart hasn't been yours for a very very very long time now.