now that you mention alex being grandfatherless, i’m curious to know if you have any pet headcanons/thoughts about alex’s mother/her side of the family?
A lot of my thoughts about her were thrown into the mix while talking to @gali-in-distress about HSHM fic. Given that Patrick Malahide was actually around 60 yrs old during filming, I just extrapolate that to assume Ian is the same age, and that means he was 43 when Alex was born. I like to think the mom was significantly younger than him, at least by 10 years.
I like to think she was also Scottish, a ginger with freckles and big green doe eyes--it's not like Alex got all that from his dad. A little gangly and awkward, intelligent, a bit sarcastic, and maybe the only person who could get away with taking the piss out of Ian - and he needed that, needed to laugh and to laugh at himself specifically. She must have fallen in love with him for *some* reason, and I think it's because he was different before she died. He would have still been just a teacher then, stern probably, but not so grim. I think she had a softening effect on him, basically.
What I can't decide is what I think she did for a living and how they would have met. She could have been a teacher as well, or support staff at a school. She could have just as easily been in some other field entirely, and they just happened to encounter each other in the wild.
His wife was already pregnant when he was offered the headmaster job, the Order coming through for him. With that prestigious position and the money that came with it, he could give his new family security and comfort. He's been headmaster for 17 years, which means Alex was born either shortly before or just after he took the job. I like to think it was just after. There's something so horrible about reaching the pinnacle of your ambitions and feeling like everything is perfect only to have it ripped away.
On the day his son was born, his wife was taken away suddenly, tragically, trading one life for another. All the joy he might have felt about the birth of his son is intrinsically tainted by the loss of his wife, and that entanglement just never really goes away. It permeates his entire relationship with his son.
Was he at work when his wife went into labor? How long did it take him to get away and make it to the hospital? If he had been there earlier, might things have gone differently? Torture that man with guilt, even if it's misplaced. Give him ambivalence about the very job he was reaching for all those years.
So what about the rest of her family? It's really hard for me to imagine Alex with doting grandparents. It's also very easy to imagine that in his grief, Ian threw himself into his work and tried to avoid anything that reminded him of his dead wife, and I think that could include his wife's family. Maybe they tried to stay involved, for Alex's sake, but trips to visit them when he was a baby slowly dwindled and when Alex was finally in school, stopped altogether. Ian told them it was a distraction from his studies. So maybe they're still out there, but Alex doesn't have any kind of relationship with them, and barely remembers any of them.
I think Ian was raised the way he's raising Alex - cold, rigid, emotionally repressed - and if it was good enough to make a success out of him, then it will do the same for Alex. Since he's older, maybe one or both of his parents are gone, and even if not, they don't have that close, nurturing type of dynamic that would make them indulgent and loving grandparents.
And meanwhile, Ian watches his son grow up and start to look more and more like the wife he mourns, and even start to act like her, talk like her. Except when Alex pushes back, takes the piss, it's just intolerable to Ian. It was endearing in his wife, but now it's like twisting the knife in the wound. When Alex pleads for the things he wants with those big starry eyes, it's like looking at a ghost--but instead of softening and giving in, it just makes Ian harder and more resolute.
Maybe after canon ending, Alex will look up his mom's family and try to reconnect with them, motivated by a complicated mix of genuine desire to find people who will love him and the intent to manipulate them into serving his purposes.