#human saw

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

Do either of you get nightmares/nightterrors?

Me? Nah, but Square does. I can tell because he's a virgin, yet I hear screamin' comin' from his room at night.

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

does squarewave ever throw fits when hes cranky?

If he's ever on his man period he just argues through rap with me.Kinda like earlier.

WHAT'S A PERIOD? DIRK ONLY TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT GIRLS.

To put it in basic terms, a period is when a lady gets ultra bitchy and refuses to fuck you because her va-jay-jay's a bloody fountain.

IS DAVE A GIRL, THEN?

Sometimes, yeah.

HE GETS ALL ANGRY AT ME FOR NO REASON.

Short man, shorter temper.

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

Not if it was an alien frog. In a suit. You should wear a suit

I've got a couple suits, but I sure as hell ain't wearin' 'em on stage. That would look pretty damn ridiculous.

I HAVE A FROG SUIT.

...I don't even think I want to know where you found that shit.

IT ALL STARTED LONG AGO. I WAS FOUR. WELL. THREE AND A HALF.AN' I WAS WANDERIN THE SCREETS.I WAS DIGGIN THROUGH THE RUBBISH BINS, LOOKIN FOR A BITE.THEN FROM ABOVE, CAME A BIRD IN FLIGHT.HE TOLD ME TO GO TO THE MOUNTAINS ABOVE THE CITY,BUT I THINK HE JUST FELT PITY.THEN I WOKE UP.IT WAS ACTUALLY A DREAM, NOT FO' SHIZZLE.THEN I REALIZED I WAS ON THIS FROG SUIT.IT STILL FITS.'CAUSE I HAVEN'T GROWN AT ALL.I'M STILL FOUR FEET TALL.THAT'S HOW BIG IT WAS.NOT LIKE I WAS FOUR FEET TALL AT THREE AN' A HALF.THAT'D BE WEIRD.

Do ya really have to put your life story in rap? This is the the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air all over again.

THAT SHOW IS MY BITCH-NIZZLE!

...Yeaaaaaahhhhh...

I LOVE IT. HERE. www.lyricsfreak.com/w/will+smith/fresh+prince+of+bel+air_20146970.html

I'm gonna write my own version.All 'bout you if you were a robot.Give me a minute, 'kay?*clears his throat*NOW I GOT A RAP TALE ALL ABOUT HOWMY LIFE GOT FLIPPED, TURNED UPSIDE-DOWNAND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT, DON'T MISBEHAVEAND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE BEIN' THIS SWEET BOT CALLED SQUAREWAVEIN HOUSTON, TEXAS, BUILT AND MADEHAVIN' RAP-OFFS IS HOW I SPEND ALL OF MY DAYSMAKIN' RHYMES, ILL BEATS, I AIN'T NO STREET FOOLMAKIN' UP RHYMES WHILE MY BRO DIRK'S OUT AT SCHOOLONCE A BATTERWITCH BITCH, WHO WAS UP TO NO GOODSTARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN OUR NEIGHBOURHOODI THREW DOWN ONE LITTLE RHYME BUT THEN GOT SCAREDAND NOW DIRK'S GOTTA PLAY SOME GAME AND I'M WORRIED 'BOUT HOW HE'LL FAREHE'S BEEN ACTIN' ALL COOL 'BOUT IT DAY AFTER DAYBUT LATELY IT'S LIKE HE'S PLANNIN' TO GO OFF AWAYHE'S UP TO SOME SHIT AND I DON'T KNOW IF HE'LL KICK ITBUT HE DON'T GOT TIME TO RAP AN' IT'S LIKE GIVIN' ME A RICKETTHIS GAME, YO, THIS IS BADGOT ME THINKIN' SHIT'S ALL GONNA HIT THE FANIS THAT WHAT THE PEOPLE OF CROCKER CORP FEELIN' LIKE?I DUNNO MAN, THIS AIN'T ALRIGHTCAUSE I'VE HEARD SOME THINGS 'BOUT THE GAME AND ALL THATAND IT AIN'T THE KIND OF PLACE THEY SHOULD SEND THAT COOL CATCAUSE DIRK'S MY HOME BOY AND IF HE WEREN'T HEREI MIGHT BE SUSCEPTIBLE TO MY LIQUID TEARSWORD

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING! I'MA STEAL THIS, YO!

Ya don't just steal someone's rhymes, bro.

CAN I PLEASE USE IT, SAW? PLEASE?

...Fine.

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!

No prob, man.

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

The BESTEST Rapoff in All of History

GUYS, YO, I NEED SOMETHIN'. CAN YA GIMME A FIN? I WANT YOU TO DECIDE THAT SAW WILL RUN AN' HIDE WHEN I GET THROUGH WIT HIM WHEN HE HE GETS DESTROYED IN THE RAP OFF HE'LL BE IN SHOULD WE DO IT? I DON'T KNOW. IF YES JUST SAY SO.

Ya don't have to rhyme with every line ya say, But hell if I wanted to I could do it all day. Who gives a fuck what they say, it's 'tween you an' me, So let's do this shit, on the count of three. ((I am the shittiest rapper. It's me.))

YO YO YO, FO' SHIZZNASTY! I'M CHEW YOU UP LIKE A PIECE OF TAFFY! FUCK YOU, I SAY, FUCK YOU, SAYS I. IN VOWEL VERSION YOU'RE JUST Y. YOU'RE INSIGNIFICANT, SAW. I'LL LEAVE YOU WIT A BIG GUFFAW.

Battlin' me again? I think you're delirious, Ya suck so bad, I can't even take ya serious. White face, red cheeks, looks like ya got a fever. And yer teeth look like one of yer parents was a beaver. I'll go on forever, keep rhymes comin' all day, Am I gonna stop soon? Son, ya better pray. Cause I'll fuck your reputation and I'll mess with your head. I'll embarrass you so bad that you'll wish you were dead.

SUCKY RHYMES? MAN WHY DO YOU LIE? MY RHYMES SO SEXY, YOU'LL CHANGE BI. SO I LOOK SICK? YOU STILL WANNA SUCK MY DICK. YOU CAN'T RAP ALL DAY, SAW, SO I WON'T CALL QUITS, NAH, MAN, NAH. IF YOU WANT ME DEAD, WON'T YOU JUST KILL THIS? IT'D BE BETTER THAN LISTEN TO THIS SHIT.

Losin' t' Dave, then me, and now me again. You getting your ass kicked is becoming a trend. I got enough rhymes to go on for years, But if I don't stop now, you're gonna be in tears. I'll beat ya again, but I don't think ya learned, When ya fuck with me, then you're gonna get burned.

AIGHT, AIGHT, I CAN TAKE DAT, BUT YOU GOT LESS TALENT DAN MAH HAT! IF YOU GONE BE A DOUCHE AN TREAT ME LIKE YOU ARE, I THINK I SHOULD JUST HIT YOU WITH A CAR. YOU CAINT TAKE ME, MANE YOU DON'T GOT A CLUE YOU RAP WIT ME, YOU'LL END UP BLUE. AN' IF YOU GONE GO ONE FOR YEARS, THEN I THINK I'M NEED A COUPLE MORE BEERS!

Your whack raps, damn, the whole thing sounds like a chorus, 'Cause ya just repeat the flow, it's startin' t' bore us. Couple more beers? Boy, you underage. Your story's makin' me yawn, lemme turn the page. You'd better back down, 'cause I'm the lyrical king, An' Imma school you like it ain't no thing.

I...I...I BEEN DEFEATED. I WAS KIDDIN MYSELF. I'LL NEVER BE GOOD.

C'mere, man. It's just a fact. Ain't nobody in th' world that can beat me.

NO MAN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I'LL NEVER BE GOOD. I NEVER SHOULDA BEEN GROWED UP IN DA HOOD.

Bitch, please, I think you're pretty sweet. With just a bit of practice you can be as good as me.

DO YA REALLY THINK I'M GOOD? THAT MEANS SO MUCH, REALLY, IT SHOULD.

Gettin' compliments and hangin' with the god of rhyme? You're gettin', bro, but teachin' takes some time.

ALL I GOT IS TIME, SAW. IT PUTS A SMILE ON MY JAW.

Seriously, man? Got enough time for me? Then I'll make sure these rhyme sessions are a treat.

CAN WE START TOMORROW? *KAWAII AS FUCK YAWN* I'M SLEEPY.

Sure, bro. Need me to carry ya to bed or somethin'?

AND TUCK ME IN?

Yeah, sure, 'kay, whatever.

THANKS, SAW.

No prob, Squarebro.

{OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CUTE! -W} ((They are totally the most kawaii desu ne pairing ever. -C)) {CUDDLES NOW -W} ((OKAY SWEET -C))

CAN WE SNUGGLE?

Sure, bro.

YES

*sighs, wrapping his arms around him*

*ATTEMPT TO WRAP ARMS AROUND THE OTHER MAN, BUT HIS ARMS ARE TOO, STUBBY, SO HE JUST CURLS INTO A LITTLE BALL AND STARTS TO SUCK HIS DICK O WAIT I MEAN THUMB*

*picks him up like a mother would hold a baby, which probably would make him get his man card revoked*

*STARTS TO SNORE*

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

So what is square your bro? or...?

Neither of us really know our families, and we're pretty close. So... I guess the answer to that's yes. Although I look abso-fuckin'-lutely nothin' like 'im.

SAW'S MAH BITCH.

Bullshit.

NO ONE WANTS TA HEAR 'BOUT YO BREAKFAST, BITCH-NIZZLE.

Bitch-nizzle? Where do ya even come up with this shit?

THIS SHIT'S TIGHT, YO!

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

lemme just say that , Square, you are adorible. And Saw's just an awesome mofo. I'm assumeing you guys live with eachother so, whats it like?

Since Square's not here at th' moment, I'm guessin' he'd say thanks for that comment. As for the housing situation, lemme explain:I was livin' on the streets for a while, havin' rap battles an' all that shit, just tryin' to earn enough money for food. Not exactly the smartest way, I know, but it worked.Well, one day this short blonde dude walked up to me, askin' if I wanted to become famous. 'Course I was gonna say yes, but I started askin' why the hell he was so straightforward. Then he told me about this rebellion, and... well, I got interested.So he took me in, and I became the world-renowned rapper, Sawtooth. That robot persona I put on? Just a mask. But that mask's probably the only thing keepin' me alive.We... Well, we kinda picked Square up somewhere along the way. He was out there on the streets with me, kinda like a little fanboy or somethin'. So we let 'im tag along.I'M BACK, YO! AN I STUBBED MY BIG TOE. IT KINDA HURT, BUT I GOT DOCTOR BERT!THANKS MAN, I ALWAYS ENJOY A COMPLIMENT. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT'S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. I ALWAYS LOVED MY FANS, SO I WON'T GIVE YOU A BAN.

WAS THAT GOOD, SAW?

Pretty good, bro. Although "you're our first fan" would've fit better.

[ask-saw-and-square-blog]

Square, what the hell are you gettin' me into. ((This is going to be amusing.))

DA MOST AWESOME FO' SHIZZLE EVER. DAT BE WHAT.

Fo' shizzle mah nizzle,bitch.