#human school

[peggysworlds]

Sorry I look so awkward! Took this on self timer - but anyway this is the portal I take to the human world for school, it’s at the end of our garden. It’s so pretty I love pink so much 😭 Shout out to my dad for teaching me how to summon it! ❤️

[thunar]

Thunar’s IOP Adventures Pt. 4

i told them about how i spent most of yesterday in bed, crying. I’ve been struggling to eat, even if food is readily available for me. I can make myself a sandwich but then i just stare at it, like im paralyzed. Drinking has been hard to do too.  Its like i keep trying to outlast myself and wait until the latest possible moment to drink. like its a game.

i’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. Not my own death, but the death of loved ones. im afraid every time my mom leaves my place, convinced she’ll get into a car accident and die.  ive also been worried about friends on here. sometimes, if they stop replying all at once, i become convinced that not only they are dead, but the whole planet is too and im just left alone in the silence.

i havent drawn anything for a week maybe. I havent picked up my tablet and pen for a month. its hitting me hard guys.

the therapist at IOP asked if i needed to be admitted (inpatient) and I said no because i dont think i do. but im not positive. i may stay at my folks house for a few days though, until things get better enough that i can actually fight back.

but for now im just completely wiped out

sorry if this has kind of become a depression blog over the past month or so lol. Hopefully i’ll enjoy things again soon.

[thunar]

Thunar's IOP Adventures Pt. 2

the thing about being in an IOP (intensive outpatient program) is that they treat you like an at-risk patient. not serious enough to be hospitalized, but at-risk nonetheless if you don't show up, and don't pick up your phone, they'll call your emergency contact and then an ambulance. I don't know how i feel about that.

[thunar]

Thunar's IOP Adventures Pt 1

I started going to an outpatient program to help me with my ~issues~ Basically i went so i could learn to take care of myself better because i'm bad at that. The experience has been interesting to say the least. I feel like i'm an alien attending a school on How To Be Human. like all the other aliens come into class and listen to the teacher alien explain how normal humans work and how to deal with things that are simple to normal humans, but incredibly complicated for aliens. I like the environment. Usually i'm the only alien in the crowd but here i'm surrounded by my kind. Makes me feel a little more at ease.

[umbunnicula]

sometimes i giggle when I read “avas demon highschool AU” because all I can think is that theywere already in highschool and look how that ended up their whole planet got blown the fuck up

[fangirl39]

Gah!!! There's this series I'm trying to remember what it's called! It was about this class, and they shared the classroom with ghosts and its driving me crazy not to be able to remember the series title!!WHY SERIES!? WHY DO YOU POP INTO MY HEAD RANDOMLY!? AND WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER YOUR NAME!?